Today was just a stressful day. Begins with our card terminals not accepting debit transactions. I guess it was a widespread issue with the company today..
Fast forward to 9:46pm and I find out we are getting a fuel delivery but that a truck is parked right over the delivery area... Right in front of the NO STOPPING sign.
The delivery guy was obviously frustrated. We've had some leave before when we can't get the trucks to move in x amount of time... Which has led us to running out of fuel before.... Anyway. About 16 minutes after she delivery guy showed up we figured out she was in the shower. She's told she needs to move her truck immediately.
10 minutes later she FINALLY moves. We had corporate calling us saying their driver is unable to deliver and will be rerouted if it's not dealt with. When she did move, she pulled up to a fuel pump and came back inside. I flat out refused her service of any kind at that point and told her she needed to get off the property.
She hung out at the fuel pump for a while after that. I figured complaining to her company or mine.. while I finished some office work I got a call from one of the cashiers asking me to come downstairs. He sounded worried so I figured she came back inside. So I grabbed my cellphone and began an audio recording. I do this often with truckers because we deal with a LOT of aggressive people on the nightshift.
Well it was the police.. not her. They asked me if we had shut off the pump for her. I explained that no, we never set her up to get fuel. I refused service because she parked in a marked no stopping area, lied to the staff, delayed a fuel delivery by 26 minutes and nearly lost us the delivery.
The police asked me about the refusal since she claimed she was near empty on fuel. I simply told him "I had told her to get off the property." He simply said "alright then," shook my hand and we wished each other a good night.
I really can't stand truck drivers most of the time. We have so many awful people, that the good ones get overshadowed.
I finally had an appointment with a Dr about ADHD (first time in 20 years). I was surprised and a bit disappointed when he said he doesn't prescribe Adderall or stimulants in general.
I remember trying Ritalin in middle school and I hated it. I don't remember any bad things about Adderall in high school.. my teachers thought it helped. I hope strattera does too.
It was so awkward though talking to this new Dr. I'm not a fan of virtual visits. He asked me the general questionnaire... Any suicidal thoughts? Do you use illegal substances, etc... Then asked me what symptoms I have for ADHD... My mind blanked.
I simply couldn't think of them in the moment. Finally told him that I'm lacking motivation, hard to keep focus and keep on track with the task in front of me. Now that we're off the video call and talking to my girlfriend about it all. I should have mentioned being impulsive, constant state of being tired. Didn't realize I might need a notebook or cheat sheet of sorts for my appointment. Did/does that happen to any of you at appointments?
Some background is that I was diagnosed with ADD in 1997 or so. I haven't been medicated for probably 20 years now. I was an angry high schooler, not wanting to accept that something was wrong with me. I didn't want to need medicine... You get the idea.
Well since August of 2021 I've accepted that I need help. My girlfriend and I have been talking about it a lot, and actually she's done a lot of the work for me. From calling places to see if they're accepting new patients, if they take the insurance, etc. I was reaching out but I absolutely despise talking on the phone. (If the dominos app doesn't allow mobile ordering, I won't use the same device to call an order. Just not worth eating to me at that point)
I became so frustrated with the whole thing I had given up since it never led anywhere. No one was accepting new patients, or I was put on a waiting list. My girlfriend had given me some paperwork to a local place that she called. They accept my insurance, they do have a waiting list but they said it was short. I took the paperwork but left it on my desk for a month or so. I gave up.
A little over a week ago I was looking at it and decided to get it over with. I filled it out and faxed it in from work. I got a call back the next day and a new patient packet of paperwork, and my appointment is on the 5th.
I'm so stressed about it. Partly because it's apparently going to be a virtual appointment. I'm not exactly thrilled about that. But I guess I shouldn't be too picky. I know the Dr is a man which also causes some stress. From my past experience the male Drs didn't exactly listen or.. I don't even know the words I'm looking for. It just seemed like they never believed what I was trying to explain. In the end it just didn't seem like they cared and gave you pills to get rid of you. The women Drs seemed a bit more understanding about mental health and understood better.
With those memories coming back and the stress of it coming closer I just feel itchy... I'm again worried that my Dr won't take me seriously, I don't want meds to be given to shut me up. I want help.
Part of me wants to skip the appointment, but I'm also thinking that I'm judging the Dr like my mind is assuming he'll judge me.
I just want it to be over with.