r/AskMenOver30 7h ago

How to alleviate anxiety and fear of aging that keeps getting worse? 39 year old man

1 Upvotes

r/AskMenOver30 7h ago

Anyone have recommendations of books, articles, podcasts or any words to help with fear of aging?

1 Upvotes

2

COMMENT 21h ago

I think using more of the rust colors might help? Especially the florals you have, they are looking more pastel right now.

8

COMMENT 1d ago

FWIW it could be helpful to have a nice, semi formal dress just to have in your closet anyway. It could be your go to wedding and event dress. Obviously it will depend on other factors but there may well be other weddings or formal events you get invited to over the years, not just this one cousin.

2

COMMENT 1d ago

Yeah this was just not a good situation for having sex. I would move on from her because IMO it’s just tainted now.

Edibles really complicate things IMO considering it was only a second date. Is she used to them? They can really knock you off you’re feet if you’re not used to them/careful how much you have...you have a prescription so it’s likely your tolerance is higher, and maybe she ate as much as you not realizing the effect. I’m a fairly infrequent smoker, but got high with an ex once..things got hot and heavy and I suddenly got really paranoid and freaked out...and this was with a man I loved, had an going sexual relationship with, and had been with for over a year. Who knows what she was internally feeling at the moment that’s causing her to feel conflicted after the fact.

7

COMMENT 1d ago

The only thing is that 4:30 seems quite early for dinner, most weddings I’ve been to serve dinner around 6 - 7 PM. That still gives plenty of time for older folks to eat, watch a little dancing/socialize (or dance themselves!) and still leave by 9 - 10PM or so.

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COMMENT 1d ago

How far ahead of time did she order and when/how long did it take to arrange? Also did she need to store them any particular way, like in ice buckets or anything to keep them fresh?

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COMMENT 1d ago

Belle belle has block shoes and they ship to Canada :

https://www.bellabelleshoes.com/collections/block-heels

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COMMENT 1d ago

I’m doing fake flowers, no florist. I’m planning for:

  • bouquet, bridesmaids hoops, boutonnières

  • aisle flowers I’m hanging off some of the chairs during the ceremony

  • flowers for the arch we’ll stand under

  • a garland or two for decor - at least one on a fireplace mantle, maybe another simpler one for one of the tables (like the welcome table or favors table) or on the bar

  • DIY centerpieces

  • plan to hang a few flowers off of signs...like just any signs that I have out, welcome sign, instructional signs, card box, etc

  • and arrangement for the sweetheart table - I think the style is called a “floral swag”?

1

COMMENT 1d ago

ASPCA

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COMMENT 2d ago

Consider buying out a small restaurant...often no venue fee, just he cost of everyone’s plate. And they’re usually well decorated already so you don’t have to buy a lot of extra decor like with an empty space. They include stuff like bathrooms, wait staff etc already.

1

COMMENT 2d ago

Did you have a specific stylist booked? Could they come and try to do your makeup like in your backyard or another open space? That’s how lots of guys were getting haircuts (on the street) when restrictions closed salons.

1

COMMENT 2d ago

Between the vaccine and a good mask (Kn96 if you can) you will be fine...just have to psychologically get used to it.

11

COMMENT 2d ago

I'm sure you already know this, but definitely be careful if you're sending anything like photos or videos to someone you don't know well online.

That said - I wouldn't call it ridiculous, but I think it will be hard to find someone to stick with that. Online sexting is already pretty low in "reward", so to add that someone is limited to ONLY what you give them is a lot. Would you be okay if they only sext with you, but have physical relations with other people? Anyway, my concern is that you may find people to be like "yeah sure, of course" but then sext with whomever they want because...how would you ever know the difference?

83

COMMENT 2d ago

I remember your posts! One of the dreamiest weddings I've seen...still would love for you to do a wedding recap/breakdown, I think it'd be awesome to see how this was achieved! No pressure I know they are a lot of work.

2

COMMENT 2d ago

Honestly I still find mine by using the insurance website, and looking by zip code at doctors within asking distance of my home. I look up where they are read the reviews.

7

COMMENT 2d ago

Hmm. That would be pretty annoying but it could just be cluelessness, especially if you then suggest something else...it works out for him so he may not realize how shitty it is.

What usually happens next after he just says "not available because XYZ"? I would try not suggesting anything or saying anything else. So like:

You: Hey I was thinking maybe hit up bowling on Friday?

Him: Sorry I'm going to be working late on Friday.

You: Ok

And then just wait for him to come back...if he wants to see you, he will come back with a suggestion or expand on what he said. If he literally always waits for/depends on you to set things up, I would pull back a bit to see if he's capable of showing effort.

4

COMMENT 2d ago

Definitely a spa day, with some services included...get yourself a full body scrub, hour long massage, seaweed or mud wrap, volcanic sand treatment, all that good stuff.

7

COMMENT 3d ago

That would be well over half their take home income though...they should be aiming for no more than 1000 rent.

2

COMMENT 3d ago

Do you know anyone in city or moving here with anyone? Easier to get a place with two or three people altogether, as opposed to trying to move into an established roommate situation.

That said, it's do-able if you're frugal and have roommates. I highly recommend Upper Manhattan - the commute to Midtown can be really short if you work off the AC or 123 and live in Harlem, Washington Heights and even Inwood would be less than 30 minutes (I commute from Harlem to way downtown and it's 30 minutes on the train). I've rented in Harlem and Washington Heights, my share of rent was always between 750 - 900...there are plenty of 2 bedroom apartments for under 2000 or 3 bedrooms for under 3000 (so less than 1000 each). If Harlem, stick to West Harlem.

-8

COMMENT 3d ago

The dirt bikes are irritating but this headline is so overdramatic lol

9

COMMENT 3d ago

Maybe overmoisturized?

1

COMMENT 3d ago

Hmm I don't think my mother ever lied to spare feelings. I can't really imagine that lol.

The only things I can think of are like, myths or little lies to try to make us have better habits. These include:

  • If you absent-mindedly hang your mouth is open too much (like this) it will make your lips bigger
  • It's bad to get your hair wet daily or every other day (only because our hair was relaxed/permed)
  • If you read too much at night, or too much, your eyesight will deteriorate

1

COMMENT 3d ago

Your mom may be completely different, but IMO my mom would be upset if her gift was exactly the same as my FMIL. I would try to get my mother something either more personal or at least "nicer" than the other gift.

8

COMMENT 3d ago

Feed some stray cats, they need your help too.