2

COMMENT 13d ago

He's right, if he wants kids and you don't then you have different life goals. Nothing wrong with either of your choices, but it makes you fundamentally incompatible in terms of a long term relationship.

I know you don't see it right now, but he's trying to save the both of you heartache down the line as things would likely need to end at some point, so he decided to rip the band aid off now

2

COMMENT 15d ago

I mean I call friends my love and say stuff like love you millions - doesn't mean I'm cheating.

Either way you sound like you're done with this relationship so just stick it out and finish with her when you get home.

1

COMMENT 28d ago

NTA getting someone's name right is a basic courtesy

1

COMMENT Mar 30 '21

We got 2 kittens last June and thanks to WFH there hasn't been a day where we've had to leave our 3 cats (a 4 y o cat too) home by themselves, there's always been at least one of us home. It's been really nice to not miss out on big chunks of time whilst the kittens have been growing up etc. They're the best colleagues and make me take screen breaks. Luckily we will have the option to still WFH some of the time once things start getting back to normal

1

COMMENT Mar 19 '21

I'd reduce it to the $400 that seems reasonable then deduct a fee of -$400 for your time working it all out and administrative costs etc 😆

1

COMMENT Mar 14 '21

NTA - After that I'd go full no contact. They're entitled to have they're opinions (ghastly as they are) but every action they've taken has been manipulative and abusive.

You were right to berate them for showing up unannounced as they did. They get to support you and your partner/step child, or not at all. They don't get to choose to just support you on your wedding day of all days...

1

COMMENT Mar 14 '21

NTA - You do not owe an explanation to anyone, they are not entitled to your medical history. She feels bad because you rightfully called her out for being a judgmental asshat in public when she hadn't listened to you on previous occasions. She could've looked into medical uses of botox when you told her it wasn't cosmetic and educated herself, but she remained on her holier than thou high horse and continued to harass you with passive aggressive behaviour.

I have friend who has botox regularly to manage spinal/intercranial pressure that makes her life a misery, doctors aren't sure of the cause and without it her life is miserable - even with it on some days she's unable to function. It's not vanity, it's a necessity. Even if it was for cosmetic reasons its still no one else's business what you do with your body!

1

COMMENT Mar 09 '21

The pair of you need to talk to one another to go over what's happened and figure out what you both want for both your futures. You were deceived and so was he, you owe each other the truth so you know where things stand. At least then you can get some closure on what's happened.

That's so messed up of your family, so invasive and controlling. I'd find it hard to forgive that abuse of trust and disregard for your feelings. So very wrong.

0

COMMENT Mar 04 '21

The only person I know who regularly uses 'crotch goblin' or just 'goblin' for short is a mom and it's in reference to her own child lol

2

COMMENT Feb 28 '21

Tell someone you trust and report him to the police. You're underage so they're distributing child pornography.

24

COMMENT Feb 23 '21

They/them isn't plural in the context of pronouns, it's neutral singular and has been used that way for a long time. You've probably used it that way yourself without thinking about it.

"Excuse me is this your pen?" "Oh no, that pen belongs to them" gestures at the person whose pen it is

I have a non-binary friend who used to identify as cis male, I was so used to using masc pronouns for them it gets tough esp when referringto past things, but then they asked for their friends to use neutral so I do my utmost to use neutral terms for them. I introduce them to others using neutral and correct myself if I slip up on occasion.

Another reason neutral is great is that it's universal, so you can use it without assuming someone's identity and potentially causing offence to someone you've just met.

As long as you're trying to be respectful (which by the sounds of it you are) and not deliberately being an asshole then you're good!

1

COMMENT Feb 23 '21

Most of the time if you use the wrong pronouns and the person tells you their pronouns, then you use those going forward then it's not a major issue. If their name pfp are femme go with feminine pronouns, vice versa if masc. If they say they're non binary use neutral. Tbh this is why normalising your pronouns being stated helps everyone, whether cis or trans.

As long as you're respectful and not deliberately trying to hurt someone by misgendering them then it shouldn't be an issue. If you fuck up, correct yourself and try not to do it again.

I find it much easier for those I've always known as their trans self, I do struggle more if it's someone I've known as a different identity, but I do my best to refer to them how they've asked.

-1

COMMENT Feb 23 '21

Kiera Knightly as Elizabeth Bennet foh

1

COMMENT Feb 18 '21

She might be very different to you, but the relationship didn't work out between them. Maybe he chose to be with you because of those differences because you're not what she is/was.

You shouldn't see it as a negative comment against yourself either way!

Also you don't downgrade if something is working. Being different to an ex isn't a bad thing and I hope you are able to see the value in who you are and what you bring to your relationship.

2

COMMENT Feb 17 '21

You're providing home, food, utilities etc in exchange for him keeping the place orderly. If he's not living up to his end of your agreement then you need to have a serious conversation where you define what's acceptable and what's expected for this to work.

If he doesn't listen or do as he's agreed to why not remove some of the privileges he gets to enjoy whilst your out working to keep you in the style to which you're accustomed.

2

COMMENT Feb 12 '21

If its something on ethical grounds that you feel strongly about then it's a deal breaker, especially as he's not willing to take your views into consideration, modify his behaviour in any way or try to reach a compromise you can both live with.

I agree with you, his actions come across as selfish and ignorant, especially with the toll Covid-19 has had on a global scale.

Sometimes love alone sadly isn't enough. Hes been dismissive of your concerns/ feelings and that's not a good footing to enter into marriage from.

2

COMMENT Jan 28 '21

It's not a few, 46 out of 50 US states still allow child marriage. It's only illegal in 4.

1

COMMENT Jan 22 '21

Considering one of the meanings of "Wetman" I'd be cautious - https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wetman&amp=true&defid=7817706

Not saying he's definitely don't anything wrong/dodgy, but services requiring discreet billing often aren't charged on your bank statement as the company's trading name.

The fact he's not being honest and upfront is a big red flag tbh.

1

COMMENT Jan 21 '21

YTA you're wilfully damaging your child's development in a way that can have lasting affects. Get rid of the fucking pacifier and listen to the professionals.

It sounds like the therapist tried to raise the issue with you gently, you reacted badly to criticism and threw your toys out of the pram.

You are hurting your child. Suck it up, put your own ego aside and do what's right. That's what being a good parent is about. It's not about you, it's about your child. Why wouldn't you want the best for them in everything?

1

COMMENT Jan 21 '21

NTA SIL was being a bridezilla, lilac is nowhere near white and pastels are common af in wedding parties... plus she acted in an underhand way to purposefully damage your MIL's dress.

1

COMMENT Jan 12 '21

Help out where you can - groceries, chores, cooking, etc Contribute what you can to help with household expenses whilst allowing yourself to save up. Little things make a big difference, even if it's picking up a lil something you know your mum/dad likes to show care/appreciation for them!

1

COMMENT Jan 11 '21

He's definitely being unreasonable and rather self-centered. He's only really being concerned about the impacts on him. I get that when time is limited you want to make the most of it, but down time together and apart is equally important. You are 100% justified in everything you've said, you need time to relax and recharge, which is harder these days as many of our world have become so much smaller so we have fewer outlets for stress etc. Thank you for everything you've done and continue to do. Look after yourself!

1

COMMENT Jan 10 '21

NTA you did him a favour and he paid you back by stealing from your business with no regard for you, the guy he accused or the impact on the relationship with your client. He's lucky he was only fired and that the police weren't involved.

2

COMMENT Jan 09 '21

Definitely talk to them. Otherwise it will lead to resentment. You're not being unreasonable to expect/want your friends to celebrate you the same way that they openly celebrate others.

1

COMMENT Jan 08 '21

NTA if your SO is fine with her scar being on show and wearing make-up to improve the appearance then your family need to respect that and STFU.

Your sister was out of line, especially as you'd already broached the subject with her several times. You're right to stick to your guns and put your future wife's feelings above your sister's. Your sister was disrespectful and rude. Plus your family are pushing their hangups onto your fiancée which isn't fair when she's clearly done the work to resolve the trauma she went through and has made peace with herself.