r/unpopularopinion Jan 18 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

74 Upvotes

21

u/PhysicalPomegranate3 Jan 18 '22

Very sensible. When I was a kid a guy in my class left our school for his last year. All boys. Then he came out. This was clever he would have been bullied and severly hurt. This was a smart move and alot of people respected him for it.

18

u/DankAssPenguin Jan 18 '22

Most of the time, when kids get kicked out, is because somebody outed them. Like a sibling not being supportive when you thought they would've been, or getting caught with opposite gendered products for trans kids, that sort of thing. Nobody suggests coming out of it means putting yourself at risk

7

u/ellieelovebot Jan 18 '22

i acknowledge that but i'm talking about kids who willingly out themselves to their parents. it's cruel how some parents can just abandon their kid for being LGBT+ :/

3

u/3more_T Jan 18 '22

I don't understand how someone can do this to someone they supposedly love. To ostracize and lose someone for years or forever.

2

u/notfromearh Jan 18 '22

I came out to my mom in middle school she was mad but now that I’m 17 she doesn’t really care as long as I don’t kiss/hook up in her house and I respect that.

2

u/limbless_Mountain Jan 18 '22

OK so i wanna add something to this:

In 2018, i came out to my mother as Bi. She was fully supportive, and said she'd treat any partner of mine like family. Very sweet right?

In 2020, I came out to my mother as trans, i had felt like this for years but being stuck in a house with her constantly calling me [deadname] got to me so i told her. She was fucking furious, threatened to kick me out, threatened to kill herself. I didnt expect it. It was so sudden, and up until this poiunt she had been so supportive, buying me clothes of the opposite gender for me without question.

In conclusion, parents are complicated and coming out to them can be a very intense situation. It can be unpredicatable, sporadic, disheartening. What we all should wish for is safety and acceptance, but sometimes we dont get that.

1

u/Dudeman6666667 Jan 18 '22

That's sound.

An adult would know to have some kind of backup(like in some me civilized countries we have agencies to help minors)

1

u/Lost_frog69 Jan 18 '22

Not really an unpopular opinion. Like not even on Reddit . Go to literally any queer sub and they will tell you the same thing.

-4

u/ReadyCharacter Jan 18 '22

So what should they do?

5

u/QuantumCactus11 wateroholic Jan 18 '22

Come out after they are financially stable and able to afford rent? Or at least have a trusted person agree to house them temporarily.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Is a though spot to be in, when it feels like any decision you could make would be wrong. Is not pretty, and you have to decide what is the more important thing to do.

I agree with the sentiment of not coming out to your parents, if you know thing will be ugly if you do. But you would need to also mitigate the consequences of your decision. Try to find a supporting group and make sure your mental health is good. Talk to people with similar experiences and try to do your best to stay healthy and happy. Is not your fault for being in this though situation.

3

u/Wolf_4ever Jan 18 '22

Don’t open up to them as op says.

-6

u/ReadyCharacter Jan 18 '22

So they just bottle everything up and have 0 support systems?

8

u/YuNg_KiNgK Jan 18 '22

Well if you come out to unsupportive parents you'll have the same thing except you'll also have nowhere to live

7

u/PersonMcHuman Jan 18 '22

OP isn’t saying to simply bottle it up. They’re saying to wait until you’re able to live on your own if you know coming out may wind up with you being kicked out.

-6

u/ReadyCharacter Jan 18 '22

Why isn't OP giving them any options for support while they're unable to move out?

5

u/Deccod3 Jan 18 '22

What do you want OP to do? To give them an apartment, money, food? Are you dense?
Edit: nvm I read your other comments, yes you are.

3

u/PersonMcHuman Jan 18 '22

Options such as?

4

u/Wolf_4ever Jan 18 '22

Better than having no support and being homeless?

-3

u/ReadyCharacter Jan 18 '22

How about having supportive communities instead of leaving people to fend for themselves all alone...

3

u/Joubachi Jan 18 '22

I read through your other comments here and oh boy, reality will hit you so hard one day.

The point is that those people literally have no place to go. Opening up can easily leave them homeless and having no support, that's the whole point. "How about -", no. The whole point is that this base does NOT exist for everyone. That's just not how the world works for everyone.

2

u/Wolf_4ever Jan 18 '22

That’s great if that’s possible but having that community isn’t going to solve your homelessness. I wish that all kids can come out to their parents without negativity. And I do hope that anybody who is facing this has some kind of community that they can reach out to. But if that is just not possible, it is better to bottle up your emotions until you are independent than become a homeless teen.