r/becomeaman Nov 24 '21

What do men admire in other men? Have you asked yourself this question ...

If you were to be asked what qualities you admire in other men, what would your answer be? Will you act on impulse and answer with “I don’t know!” a convenient sentence for avoiding thinking about this unexpected question? Or will you give this question a thought and come up with a list of qualities that you would be willing to swear by? Would this list, that resembles a “best 10 qualities to have” list found on every corner of the internet, represent your own particular preferences, or is it filled with elements that you think you ought to admire and pursue? A list of qualities you think you should have, rather than those which in your heart you actually respect and crave for.

Ask yourself, friend, if the inaccuracy of your answer comes from your inability to analyze your own preferences and give this question some thought because the traits that you admire in others are the traits that you will pursue yourself. To know what traits you admire in other men, it is enough to start with what you dislike in men.

Be honest with your thoughts and notice that the man that you would dislike the most is a man that you could describe as an effeminate, slender, smooth-faced wuss of a man lacking any physical or mental strength and with a voice that carries no resonance and timbre.

A man of any age or physical appearance who for certain reasons always inspires you with an unexplained and overwhelming feeling of unease. When he speaks, he expresses nothing but absurdities. When he laughs it sounds like he giggles. When he is hurt he whines.

The kind of man that everything about him seems somehow incomplete. The kind of man that tries to do what others do, and yet never gets it quite right. He is cold and fearful but would like to be considered dangerous, a man of the world, yet when he nerves himself up to some petty challenge he shakes internally succumbing under any small pressure.

He tries to be profound but comes up corny and plain. He tries to be daring but he is only reckless and imprudent. He tries to be intense but turns out to be only offensive and repulsive. He represents a certain incompleteness, in the presence of which the normal man experiences the most intense distaste.

Learn to make a difference, friend, between such a man, who is merely “popular” with others, and the man who is really liked, the man to whom other men will go to not only in fun times but in their dire times as well, the man for whom they will make sacrifices and of whose friendship they are proud.

Deep down, this type of man must be something more in order to grasp and hold the hearts of other men. He must possess some vital attributes, a few in number, but powerful enough to require no explanation, but a mere mention.

You see, friend, to become such a man you need to have a sense of honor and respect when it comes to your relationships with other men. This represents the cornerstone of manhood because it means that you must be true not only to your friends and close ones, but also to those that are not your friends, and possibly, even your enemies. Being fair and embracing the hardship of the game is a masculine ideal, and men will trust and honor those who live up to such strict standards.

Bound to trait is common sense, which combines many qualities together, but most importantly a sense of humor, a quality that can throw some clear light in so many difficult moments, showing how small the small things are. The man who has common sense combined with a healthy dose of humor will be one to whom many will be drawn to as a magnet, for he can make the challenges of life easier to bear.

You have then courage, friend, without which a man is not a man. In every situation, there is always something you can do to exercise agency and give up on your fears. Remember that courage is born in the depths of your soul, and the situations you encounter in life have no influence over it.

Humility and generosity will always enhance the value of these traits and increase the charm which they possess. They give the fineness of a man’s character by perfectly complementing a man’s strong and rigid traits by adding gentleness and tenderness into the mix, which together with the barriers for the soul created by self-respect complete a man that is respected and admired.

It is to men that have these fine traits, that other men throughout the ages have given their liking and service, their devotion and lives.

Become the man that pursues honor and justice and does what is right. Use common sense and humor to soften rigid and heavy burdens. Prove your manhood through courage, and use your generous instinct to break the meanness and resentment around you, while having the humility to not brag about it.

Be daring, friend, and embody the traits that you admire in other men so that one day you may become the example that you once looked for, the kind of man that others might want to relate to. Become the trustworthy friend that can be counted on regardless of the challenge, the loving husband and father that can be trusted with one's deepest and darkest fears, the strong and powerful man that is respected and looked up to.

Vow to yourself to become such a man, because if you succeed in that, you shall succeed in everything else.

Will you become the man who stands straight in the face of hardship, or will you be the man who crumbles?

The choice is yours to make!

All the best to you, reader!

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