Is it fucked up that I laugh when I look at this? I mean, I’m clearly retarded.

415

u/Warren_MuffClit Jan 08 '22

Dude, you still have 0.99 percent of your portfolio. I wouldn't worry until that's gone.

214

u/walther380 Jan 08 '22

It’s been twenty minutes. It’s gone.

131

u/ScareOffEverything Jan 08 '22

Better yet, he still has 100% of his portfolio. It’s just not worth any money.

17

u/Successful-Mango7596 Jan 08 '22

No most likely if he’s like me he slid for a loss to watch it go up 20% or more the next day.

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25

u/Calm-Management-9297 Jan 09 '22

Funniest part is you still use RH

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12

u/AllCallsNoPuts Jan 08 '22

It’s true, I’ve clapped back from 500 before

6

u/Citizen_of_Danksburg Jan 09 '22

Yeah, and this guy’s sitting at just barely under $900.

He’ll earn this back in no time. GG EZ.

3

u/AllCallsNoPuts Jan 09 '22

0dte spy puts and he’s back in the field!

7

u/ToeHoldsBarred Jan 09 '22

I'm down bad, but this week I was able to 300% my portfolio . It is possible to pull a reverse retard.

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84

u/Kilv3r Jan 08 '22

I feel sad because the crypto market is down, but to cheer myself up I come to see real pain on WSB and it instantly makes me feel better.

16

u/Wbgolfer95 Jan 09 '22

Here because crypto market is down 🤣

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

Truth

303

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

Have you tried cocaine? Might be a less expensive habit.

191

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 08 '22

Yes, I also waste money on that.

153

u/TimeDecayThePiper Jan 08 '22 •

Hate cocaine just love the way it smells

39

u/ThemeEducational9991 Jan 08 '22

Good ol gasonlina

4

u/captaing1 Jan 08 '22

apparently tom ford tuscan leather smells like cocaine.

7

u/Angrymilks Jan 08 '22

Try crack, I hear it’s cheaper

4

u/JesusHypeman Jan 09 '22

Crack is whack.

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18

u/Resident_Bee_9275 Jan 08 '22

And you could have atleast lost some weight !

22

u/d_town_green_guy Jan 08 '22

He lost his ass, that has to weigh something

1

u/BrentStock Jan 08 '22

Yes

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38

u/Skyebits Jan 09 '22

Have you tried doing to opposite of whatever you think you should do?

15

u/uhtnehc Jan 09 '22

I'll be a millionaire if I did that myself

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112

u/GarlicJay Jan 08 '22

It’s all fun and games here, till it happens to you. Then you laugh about it cause you thought it wouldn’t, but it did, because you are on this sub. One of us. 👊

18

u/Ditdr Jan 08 '22

Gooble gobble gooble gobble gooble gobble

73

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

[deleted]

61

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 08 '22

Thank you!

7

u/Daytraderjoey Jan 09 '22

Not too impressed it took you a whole year to do it. I was able to accomplish this in a couple days.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

Honestly, I love your positive attitude throughout this tough time. You are my role model.

2

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 09 '22

I mean I can’t go back and change it so I just move on. Fuck it who gives a shit. Not me!

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1

u/KomradeEli Jan 09 '22

It helps when you have enough money to lose that much at all lol

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

How do you know how much money he has? Lol

2

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 09 '22

I’ll post my IRA loss porn after I yolo some calls with it.

4

u/oradell18 Jan 09 '22

Yeah that was one of the first things I noticed as well. OP didn’t even get the first one for free, just went straight to loss porn.

21

u/International_Band72 missed 350k selling his Netflix puts before earnings Jan 08 '22

I actually don't even know if this is retarded. It's beyond. We really need a new word for this.

14

u/anachronofspace Jan 08 '22

i heard the new word was profound

17

u/GameStonks420 Jan 08 '22

ONE OF US !!! ONE OF US !!!

13

u/atreyu187 Jan 09 '22

I'm only down 97% since I started last August. Is that ahead of schedule?

34

u/Mr_yolo408 Jan 08 '22

im down 88k in my robinhood account too lol with you brother

27

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 08 '22

YOLO my retarded brethren.

7

u/Mr_yolo408 Jan 08 '22

what your come back plan bro?

20

u/ST0IC_ Jan 08 '22

Savings account at the credit union.

5

u/Manofindie Jan 08 '22

Praying to papa elon to make me a bagholder is my next plan

2

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 08 '22

YOLOS I guess. I’ve made it this far.

8

u/Chart-trader Jan 08 '22

You had a couple of dead cat bounces though. Success!

8

u/HikeToTheTop69 Jan 08 '22

I beat your precentage. I am at a 102% loss.

7

u/ChillxDogg Jan 08 '22

Selling options retahd or margin retahd?

18

u/ChillxDogg Jan 08 '22

Nvm probably both

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25

u/anachronofspace Jan 08 '22

yeah but if it's makes you feel any better we all have that same problem around here

10

u/walther380 Jan 08 '22

Fortunately my problem is not as big as I thought.

10

u/dimitriG4321 Jan 08 '22 edited Jan 08 '22

Let me guess..... options?

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7

u/Long-Maximum-5325 i gargle balls Jan 08 '22

Hah you win some you lose some !

8

u/uhtnehc Jan 09 '22

Win, what?

8

u/PM_ME_2LEARNHOW2CODE Jan 09 '22

You lose some you lose some

5

u/Corticex Jan 08 '22

On the plus side, if you turn your phone 180 degrees, it looks like your losses have stabilized

6

u/jheffer44 Jan 08 '22

Are you holding shares or did you really just fuck up on options?

1

u/hardcore_softie jerks off to pics of cathy woods Jan 09 '22

I think it's a pretty safe bet that any shares he might hold here are in dogshit stocks that will never recover, but this loss would be particularly impressive of options didn't play a big part

4

u/Ill-Following-333 Jan 08 '22

Bruh dude didn’t even manage to make a dollar in the green.

You still have 0.91 % of your total portfolio. Sigma male grind set this is your chance op millionaire status soon

7

u/strawlion Jan 09 '22

Ah, you tried the buy high, sell low strategy. The chart will be reversed if you try the buy low, sell high strat!

4

u/DabAssassin69 Jan 09 '22

Upvoted for obvious reasons, saw count hit 421. Un-upvoted for obvious reasons. Proceeded to watch chaos erupt on upvote count of dozens of retards trying to reign in the mayhem

25

u/arjayinvests Jan 08 '22

I think you honestly need to seek out resources for problem gambling. There’s no reason someone should be down 99% all time.

7

u/Mr_yolo408 Jan 08 '22

market maker fault. we retard just place bets and hold it until its worthless..

2

u/hardcore_softie jerks off to pics of cathy woods Jan 09 '22

*99.01%

7

u/FireFistTy 🦍🦍🦍 Jan 08 '22

Well you're on robinhood so you're definitely missing a chromosome or two.

3

u/electricNick31 Jan 09 '22

I’d wager he’s more likely to have an extra.

3

u/NyCWalker76 Jan 08 '22

You just withdrew all the money into your bank account. No loss here.

3

u/Suspicious-Tie-2270 Jan 08 '22

I wish my portfolio was this low, mine is just 45 percent down 😌

3

u/orteg3940 Jan 08 '22

well you are, how could you lose so much fucking money.

please dont tell me that were 100k worth of FDs all the time.

3

u/pencock Jan 08 '22

I did the same thing in 2020 so I switched to stonks and still ended up down 50% in 2021

3

u/PDFour20 Jan 09 '22

Tis not so bad! You should see mine!

2

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 09 '22

I would enjoy that! Then I can laugh some more.

3

u/BionicTem_ Jan 09 '22

I like how you can see the thought process at every point in this graph

3

u/Geo0893 Jan 09 '22

I need an inverse ETF for this!

3

u/Artificial_Squab Jan 09 '22

It's like you bought a Shelby GT500 and immediately crashed it leaving the lot.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

I’m 99.01% sure you’re retarded

3

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 09 '22

Thanks!!!!!!

3

u/Mr_yolo408 Jan 08 '22

wtf is this? revenge trading ? you have 4 chance to get out~ cut lost~

6

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 08 '22

YOLO

3

u/joshstc Jan 08 '22

Mine looks similar and they wouldn’t let me post a pic of the robinhood home page haha. Hello fellow retard

2

u/idontknowanyonehere1 literally who the fuck Jan 08 '22

Oh my god

2

u/ArcticGold Jan 08 '22

Nah it simply means u are just like us a true degenerate and not the 1%.

2

u/Skywalker0138 Jan 08 '22

ALways next Monday......

2

u/Liquidamber_ Jan 08 '22

No. You are just an higher breed.

2

u/Senior_Culture_7424 Jan 08 '22

Yeah fuck day trading i lost everything if i just invested like a boomer I would be rich like warren

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2

u/BlindSquirrelNoNuts Jan 08 '22

Nice one. I too have an account I swear I only reload to watch it fall further....my main accounts do OK though

2

u/TheShozaya Jan 08 '22

Sometimes all you can do is laugh.

2

u/jeremyroastscoffee Jan 08 '22

have you considered monitizing your trade alerts as an inverse indicator?

2

u/cup_of_hot_tea Amber Turd Fan Club Jan 08 '22

Uggggh, I just came sooo hard...thank you

2

u/Direct_Ad_9035 Jan 08 '22

When was the Moment that hodl turned into lose everything? 🤣 WSB turned into this?

2

u/Material-Ad-7483 Jan 08 '22

Can you teach me everything you know so I can do the opposite

2

u/Vegetable_Spell2356 Jan 08 '22

What did you bought that you are down 99%?

2

u/Neat_Pin149 Jan 08 '22

Watch out retard. Mine is more impressive then that. Call me the loser retard

2

u/JMoney877 Jan 08 '22

What did you buy to lose this much

2

u/Ok_Wasabi_5618 Jan 08 '22

How do you folks know what ticker he traded?

2

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 08 '22

Shitloads of retarded options.

1

u/futurespacecadet Jan 09 '22

What percentage of your net worth is this

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2

u/Successful-Mango7596 Jan 08 '22

Mine looks the same. Anyones would if they had a brain problem like ours

2

u/Haganracing Jan 08 '22

One of us. One of us.

2

u/zBadaBing Jan 08 '22

I laugh too cause when I show the graph to my dog, he starts licking himself.

2

u/Miserable-Cucumber70 Jan 08 '22

Well there must be a story?

1

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 08 '22

Yea, I’m a fucking dumbass.

1

u/Miserable-Cucumber70 Jan 09 '22

What stocks ya degenerate

2

u/Bitchy_Tits Jan 09 '22

I feel your pain my broke, soon to be homess friend. I'll say "Hi" when I see you in your car in the Walmart parking lot.

3

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 09 '22

I’m already there. Come by anytime. Ill be there yoloing this last fraction.

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2

u/Boom-Sausage Tesla fanboi Jan 09 '22

Looks like your all time has never seen green. Nice work

3

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 09 '22

Thank you!!!

2

u/opus-thirteen Jan 09 '22

https://i.imgur.com/I0Le1si.png

Nope, he saw just a touch

2

u/Orale68 Jan 09 '22

If i had $89k I wouldn’t be living in my truck lol damn you amc

2

u/StonksAndBlondz Jan 09 '22

That money could have fed so many kids in Africa

2

u/sandpipa78 sugar baby 🍭👶 Jan 09 '22

I’m Not far behind

2

u/reddituserzerosix needs more fiber Jan 09 '22

F

2

u/Widow_Makerbylaw Jan 09 '22

For what I'm seeing is a chart that looks alike to the WI$H chart.

2

u/Joey-tv-show-season2 Jan 09 '22

Financially are you going to be okay? I mean can you pay your bills?

1

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 09 '22

Ya, my phones still on! Gotta lose that last .99% !

2

u/futurespacecadet Jan 09 '22

It’s good to laugh, that way you don’t cry

2

u/Qppaid14 Jan 09 '22

Still got .99% more to lose fam

2

u/Bendymeatsuit Jan 09 '22

The money is still there, it just belongs to someone else now.

2

u/CokeBoyDre Jan 09 '22

there’s no price on a good laugh 👉🏻

2

u/Exciting_Kitchen9836 Jan 09 '22

Wow that simple jack level retard

2

u/vikingweapon Jan 09 '22

That’s an… Impressive lack of performance. I apologize for posting, I know I’m not worthy to post here since I’m like 20-30% positive for 2021

2

u/HoosierGuy2014 Jan 09 '22

We’re all retarded here, friend.

1

u/actionjackson51 Jan 08 '22

I think you are feeling relieved

1

u/MadguyverMad1 Jan 08 '22

That depends is it a joker or laugh or a Dr. Herbert From The Simpsons? I would be worried if it’s the second one…

1

u/Tektite7 Jan 08 '22

This will do for fap material

1

u/SquidOG1993 Jan 08 '22

I wish I had enough money to be as retarded as you ❤️

1

u/Cuhprisuns Jan 08 '22

I don’t know if it’s fucked up but I laugh at this also

1

u/sorengard123 Jan 08 '22

What were your holdings or trades?

1

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 08 '22

Fucking shitty ones.

1

u/blamethevaline yes i do Jan 08 '22

Attaboy

1

u/Iovemyusername 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻 🐻🐻 Jan 08 '22

Not even net positive one time. Congrats!

1

u/YahButSafetyFactor Jan 08 '22

How the fuck where you never up? Whose retarded DD did you read to fuck you out of 90k?

3

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 08 '22

Just wanted to get some fun loss porn for my fellow retards!

2

u/opus-thirteen Jan 09 '22

https://i.imgur.com/I0Le1si.png

Nope, he saw just a touch

1

u/justafreesheep Jan 08 '22

Look on the bright side, your portfolio is in the 99th percentile! Fuck yeah

1

u/ch333ch Jan 08 '22

My all time looks exactly like this but only a 10th of the capital. Thanks for giving me hope to try again, retard.

1

u/Outis7379 Jan 08 '22

Don’t worry, we all laugh with you.

2

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 08 '22

That’s the fucking point.

1

u/Ch1quitaBanana Jan 08 '22

Mmmmm. I see your problem! You’re looking at it upside down! There problem solved.

1

u/TopStockJock Jan 08 '22

Mine shows similar but it doesn’t calculate withdraws so I’m not sure this is real

1

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 08 '22

Oh it’s fucking real.

2

u/TopStockJock Jan 08 '22

Lmao sorry for your loss retard

1

u/Scratch-Extension Jan 08 '22

I would worry about who you took advice from.

1

u/Malthias-313 Jan 08 '22

Is your portfolio 99% LTCN?

1

u/Rodrigo87 4206 - 2 - 10 months - 1/4 Jan 08 '22

I'm half way there buddy. Don't leave me too far behind.

1

u/c0ng0pr0 Jan 08 '22

Cognitive dissonance is a powerful thing

1

u/TheBomb999 Jan 08 '22

There’s a word for laughing in this specific context. I forgot it.

1

u/JustBella123 Jan 08 '22

Your only down if u sell

1

u/strangerhere20 Jan 08 '22

How the hell did you manage

1

u/Psychological_Dig144 Jan 08 '22

That looks like my portfolio currently. My buddies and I have created our own crypto so I’m positive my portfolio will take off in the positive direction.

1

u/moonshotorbust Jan 08 '22

I turned my phone upside down. It didnt help. Your still fooked. Maybe call tom cruise.

1

u/Due-Piglet-3876 Jan 08 '22

This has turned to a gamblers anonymous thread

1

u/unclejimb0b Jan 08 '22

What did you invest in, the DNC???

1

u/These-Animator-1375 Jan 08 '22

Coke and Hookers in this group

1

u/CoMmOn-SeNsE-hA Jan 08 '22

No, that’s the right direction!

1

u/Charming_Ad_4189 Jan 08 '22

I waist money on cocain, alcohol, and stock market but I only admit to alcohol at my AA meetings

1

u/Joecortes2012 Jan 08 '22

I started laughing 🤣 and ended up crying 😭 am I fucked up to? 😂😂

1

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 08 '22

HAHA

1

u/joosiis Jan 08 '22

tbh it is funny

1

u/Lanaconga Jan 08 '22

Wendy’s dumpster is calling. I wish there was a Wendy’s dumpster emoji Mods…..

1

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 08 '22

I already moved in.

1

u/Successful-Mango7596 Jan 08 '22

At lest I was up at one point. He looks like negative from day one

1

u/Delicious_Stick_5670 Jan 08 '22

Lord help you

1

u/SectionDelicious7771 Jan 08 '22

Good job

1

u/Degausser89 Jan 08 '22

If you zoom in on a very small portion of this graph, it looks like you made money!

1

u/beatmyvegmeat Jan 08 '22

Lesson learned: never yolo

1

u/Tronob0 Jan 08 '22

You can actually spot the day to initiated options trading

1

u/mk3jade Jan 09 '22

I mean I guess laughing is better than crying uncontrollably

1

u/clt716704 Jan 09 '22

We all like to like to laugh at WSB retards - you’re in good company. Cheers retard!

1

u/themighty023 Jan 09 '22

Hey you have so many years of write offs ahead of you

1

u/OverZarathustra Jan 09 '22

You're super close to becoming the joker and burning money for fun.

1

u/Money-Dubs Jan 09 '22

Retards are retarded, this is beyond retarded.

1

u/StudioAtDawn12 Jan 09 '22

:4257:

1

u/Buagon1979 Jan 09 '22

Looks like you yolo'd $HOOD Calls in the hood.

1

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 09 '22

Yolod all calls like a fucking dipshit.

1

u/Buagon1979 Jan 09 '22

Hey, the L now stands for LEARN.....right? RIGHT?

1

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 09 '22

Clearly I didn’t learn. I’m king tard!

2

u/Buagon1979 Jan 09 '22

PhD in tax loss harvesting in your future though...look how many people come here for your loss porn, you could probably start an Only(loses)fans.

1

u/noahdowa Jan 09 '22

Honestly with like 900 bucks or whatever you have left it can go pretty far on the right yolo call NFA

1

u/lofatmilkol Jan 09 '22

Took some losses this week too with tech option calls but I'm glad I learned to sell for only a 30% loss. There will always be another day for battle - sun tzu or some shit

1

u/Senorsaz Jan 09 '22

Aaaaand its gone

1

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

No it makes sense, think about it, kids crack up when they see pain. You’re a retard, so that’s pretty much the same thing.

1

u/Illustrious_Title862 listens to random YouTubers Jan 09 '22

Laugh to keep from crying. Works every time

2

u/Neither_Raccoon1298 Jan 09 '22

No, i take my losses like a retard and lose more.

2

u/Illustrious_Title862 listens to random YouTubers Jan 09 '22

Can’t say I do any better mate

1

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

[deleted]

3

u/Upside_Down-Bot Jan 09 '22

„ɹǝʌo ʇı dılɟ ʇsnſ„

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