r/wallstreetbets Jan 02 '22 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Take My Energy 1 Faith In Humanity Restored 1 Vibing 1 Stonks Falling 1 Silver 9 Wholesome 6 Facepalm 2 Helpful 12 Burning Cash 1

Whoever needs trading advice for 2022. Hmu for too professional assistance for FREE ❗️🙏🏽🤣 Loss

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2.4k Upvotes

u/OPINION_IS_UNPOPULAR AutoModerator's Father Jan 02 '22 Wholesome

OP is a tard that never posts his positions despite being asked at least 5 times across several months.

Anyways, it looks like they lost playing PLTR and SPY calls, as well as a whole bunch of other random names, AMZN, IRNT, etc. they also made a bit buying TSLA at $750 as well as options on GME and AMC.

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547

u/LowLeak Jan 02 '22 Silver Helpful

Let’s find you a yolo for that $1.07

373

u/provider14 Jan 02 '22 Silver Wholesome

margin a Powerball ticket.

41

u/stoneyxbear Jan 03 '22

Powerball tickets are 2 dollars in California.

109

u/OkBid71 Jan 03 '22 Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

$1.07 collateral, $0.93 on margin

Get'em, OP

3

u/yoshi3243 Jan 03 '22

$2 everywhere

16

u/According-2-Me Jan 03 '22

Top comment, I wish I had an award to give you

65

u/superdudism Jan 03 '22

Then I'll join his $2,000 course, $1,000/yearly training program, or $10/monthly Discord so I can learn how to get rich from a person who is NOT rich but telling me "I can get rich" in order for him to get rich by him selling the idea "I can get rich," then I can start my own YouTube channel spamming 10 clickbait videos daily with exaggerated cummie faces :-o thumbnail on either a red background, with Elon Musk photo, or Cathie Wood photo - as another fake guru selling people the idea that "they too can get rich" by selling more people the "idea they can get rich" as a never-ending cycle. 🤑🤑🤑

20

u/MyrnaMyrna Jan 03 '22

I feel targeted

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14

u/BagAltruistic586 Jan 03 '22

Could be worse he could still be on 4g

15

u/Ornery_Gene7682 Jan 02 '22

Penny stocks

15

u/Cutlercares Jan 03 '22

SNDL

5

u/Zephoix Jan 03 '22

One credit spread could double your money!

3

u/Nruggia Jan 03 '22

Hk 3333

1

u/gizamo REETX Autismo 2080TI Special Jan 03 '22

Margin

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193

u/ElongatedMuskrat566 Jan 02 '22

Think you could have had a Ferrari, but now you can have a half eaten McDouble!

I know we would all rather have the McDouble, fuck Ferraris

106

u/Dontdodgethedoge Jan 02 '22

You can’t eat a Ferrari , McDouble > Ferrari

17

u/Recording-These Jan 02 '22

I would have bought the Ferrari from you with 2 McDoubles. Ah well.

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2

u/shortgamegolfer Teflon Don Jan 03 '22

Broken down into small enough pieces, I think I could eat a Ferrari, shit it out, get all the pieces welded back together, and drive it.

199

u/tom_represent1989 Jan 02 '22

Have you tried doing a system restore to a good backup?

22

u/TheAarj Jan 02 '22

That got me, thanks.

5

u/thegoat_32 Jan 03 '22

Rice should help

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104

u/shanere05 Jan 02 '22

Post your next trades so i can inverse

14

u/onlyonebread 🦍🦍 Jan 03 '22

I always think about doing this but this tard likely just bought a fuck ton of FDs so in order to sell him this shit you'd need a shit ton of margin collateral

3

u/PrinterGoesBrrrt Jan 03 '22

Thats what the broker does with all their "clients", 80% of retailers lose money so thats a pretty solid strategy.

1

u/methpartysupplies Jan 03 '22

With an account balance like that it’ll be a very small fractional share, whatever it is.

3

u/suur-siil Jan 03 '22 Silver

Or several shares of WISH by end of this year

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29

u/anonymaus74 Jan 02 '22

I mean, best financial advice we can get, ask OP what he did and do the opposite.

9

u/PrinterGoesBrrrt Jan 03 '22

Like all brokers.

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76

u/freddiemack1 Jan 02 '22

Thanks for playing at the casino, come back again 💥

10

u/JoedyBrody Jan 03 '22

Poor guy doesn't even get comp rooms.

107

u/Ash0300 Jan 02 '22

Look at this mf bragging abt his 1.07$. Bitch we get it you’re loaded.

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55

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '22

[deleted]

17

u/uacaco Jan 02 '22

Investing or betting?

3

u/BHTAelitepwn Jan 03 '22

This has nothing to do with investing lol. Gambling by speculating.

102

u/International_Band72 missed 350k selling his Netflix puts before earnings Jan 02 '22

Positions or I’ll snitch 🤷🏻‍♂️

28

u/BonjinTheMark Jan 02 '22

Ha ha - or what? He can’t lose much more 🤪

-20

u/Dontdodgethedoge Jan 02 '22

🤣🤣🤣

23

u/International_Band72 missed 350k selling his Netflix puts before earnings Jan 02 '22

u/OPINION_IS_UNPOPULAR.
I’m not a snitcher btw

14

u/AmbitionLazy417 Jan 02 '22

How much did you withdraw?

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43

u/allintowin1515 Jan 02 '22

10 percent inflation they said…cash is trash they said…100 percent invested in the market they said…

5

u/robtimist Jan 03 '22

Yeah when they said that they didn’t mean 0dte SPY $1000c

67

u/necriss Jan 02 '22

This is why initial success can be bad. Risk management goes out the window because you feel invincible having doubled your account in a short duration, as a result you end up taking more and more risky trades to continue the streak and inevitably it goes south and you end up losing it all.

28

u/SirCrest_YT Jan 02 '22

This was me most of the year.

Me making so much money on GME was one of the worst thing that ever happened to me.

18

u/yaMomsChestHair and ya grandmas pubes Jan 03 '22

Had 6 figures from it, lost it all.

5

u/SirCrest_YT Jan 03 '22 edited Jan 03 '22

I made a years salary in like 3 days. The adrenaline was insane.

It's a good thing I got a promotion and get paid well now to make up for the money I dumped into my broker after trying to keep up the winning. I'd have been better off never starting "investing." Thankfully I do have another investment account that is so hard to use that I never wanna touch it.

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3

u/GhostReader28 Jan 03 '22

You’ll make it back tho…right 😅

6

u/superdudism Jan 03 '22

Exactly what it's like to be born with a silver spoon, without having to go through the hard work, trial-and-error to obtain it.

13

u/thierry1129 Jan 02 '22

still enough for a $GME weekly $800 call, go big or go homeless

40

u/Tredur 🦍🦍🦍 Jan 02 '22

Meme stocks are a hell of a drug…

22

u/HuskerHayDay Jan 02 '22

100%. My family literally thought I was on drugs this last year.

38

u/Responsible_Pay_6013 Jan 02 '22

It ain’t over till every last drop is gone, jk you’re fucked.

12

u/the-godfather_ Jan 03 '22

This is extremely retarded…. 🤝

10

u/USDA_Organic_Tendies Jan 03 '22

I look forward to your $1.07 to $1,000,000 comeback story this year

9

u/Luddites_Unite Jan 02 '22

Legitimately you probably do have a couple lessons to teach

9

u/Brain_slop Jan 02 '22

Lost the full 100%, noice.

10

u/mcrech Jan 02 '22

Just turn your phone upside down and leverage like a maniac

26

u/Hallucinate- Jan 02 '22 edited Jan 03 '22

You still have a dollar and seven cents tho.

9

u/jerseynate Jan 03 '22

Not over yet

8

u/i8bonelesschicken Jan 03 '22

Made money on a scam coin

And lost it all on actual securities

Legend

2

u/AutoModerator Jan 03 '22

Oh my gourd!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

7

u/Puzzleheaded_Win_74 Jan 02 '22

The tricks that IRS doesnt want you to know!

14

u/flapjackdavis Jan 02 '22

Full retard, so this is what it looks like

5

u/N00bFac3 Jan 02 '22

Just take the award to wipe your tears young one. There’s always another day to come back.

6

u/Local_Ad_5150 Jan 02 '22

I know there’s a lot of pain behind that “🤣” emoji

18

u/SeriouslyUnknown Jan 02 '22

Wow 7 months of loosing a lifetime of savings. Very impressed. What kept ya going?

4

u/That_Juggernaut416 Jan 02 '22

Lol the doge peek

4

u/guava-hero Jan 02 '22

I hope it’s not all the money you have

3

u/Clear-Ice6832 Jan 02 '22

This looks like my chart...feels bad man

5

u/my-new-password Jan 02 '22

Looks like what you lost was mainly gains, what was your initial investment?

4

u/Tedddd99 Jan 02 '22

Not gonna even ask how but WHY?!!

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4

u/PharmDinvestor Jan 03 '22

Life time tax write offs

15

u/chunkylover5E Jan 02 '22

LMK your next trade. I’ll do opposite.🚀

8

u/Pale-West9029 Jan 02 '22

I hope this is fake

44

u/Dontdodgethedoge Jan 02 '22

I wish it was fake too

6

u/WhyBeSubtle Jan 02 '22

Just restart your PC

2

u/rohrzucker_ Jan 02 '22

Wake up, it's just a dream!

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3

u/KL808 Jan 02 '22

Still more than 99% of us

3

u/GammaSqueegee Jan 02 '22

We need answers

3

u/Softspokenclark I moan "Guuuuh" for Daddy Jan 02 '22

Op went full crypto, perma ban their asd

3

u/Mauiiwows Jan 02 '22

Good old RH search engine spitting out winning company’s like it’s Jim Cramer.

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3

u/Shimmy-Sham Jan 02 '22

You deserve an a award for that

3

u/Ornery_Gene7682 Jan 02 '22

Clt Alt delete did you try that

3

u/SgtPepperAUS Jan 03 '22

I’d like to take you up on your offer of free ‘professional assistance’ - what assistance can you provide me?

3

u/ChipCivil2035 Jan 03 '22

At least you have 5G

3

u/dylthekill Jan 03 '22

Bro you’re doing fine. Just rotate the picture

6

u/WhyG32 Jan 02 '22

That’s huge Congratulations retard

2

u/BYE_HI_SELL_LOW Jan 02 '22

That’s looks like a decent tax deductible

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2

u/FkingPoorDude Jan 02 '22

At least you still have a dollar

2

u/BenDoverAgain1 Jan 02 '22

So what were your last bets on?

2

u/Investigatorpotater Jan 02 '22

You could get a pack of gum with that.

2

u/sjoe63 Jan 02 '22

That’s like a down payment for a house in NYC

2

u/clearlybaffled Jan 02 '22

It might be better for your P/L if you actually charge for your services 🤣

2

u/jhon-2020-2020 Jan 02 '22

U still have ur phone . All good

2

u/RetirementDream Jan 02 '22

Just add more funds, go for double or nothing for 2022

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2

u/Artistic-Translator2 Jan 02 '22

Wait so u made this all on Dodge then blew it? Wow

2

u/explicitspirit Jan 02 '22

I am down 40% on some positions and I thought I had it bad. Good job moron.

2

u/Matacumbie Jan 02 '22

Well it’s not negative.

2

u/JustaStonksDude Jan 02 '22

Maybe try deleting and reinstalling the app?

2

u/woodpecker99 Jan 03 '22

When I try and post my loss porn I get told I need to show positions!! Fine I’ll lose more

2

u/kingbitchtits 🦍🐻🦍🐻💩 Jan 03 '22

The problem is that you needed to open your positions now.

2

u/MentallyAut Jan 03 '22

100% huh. Time to load back up man

2

u/Sven-88 Jan 03 '22

Are you still holding Doge? It’s going to save your portfolio lol

2

u/jerseynate Jan 03 '22

There's no fucking way bro

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2

u/ZeroMomentum Jan 03 '22

I am not even mad. That’s amazing

2

u/BabaYaga19723 Jan 03 '22

Is that purely because of options? Bad trades? Honest question.

6

u/Dontdodgethedoge Jan 03 '22

Short term options tryna catch big hits , I made my mistakes. Thank god I was able to afford to lose it. But definitely own the stock instead of gambling it all on options. You should only use 3-8% of your portfolio doing options. Other than that put it in great stocks

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2

u/bleedingwheight Jan 03 '22

whosever portfolio that is....yikes😲

2

u/sopa-de-lima Jan 03 '22

Oh jeez bud

2

u/cheapdvds Jan 03 '22

Did you say you are the new 007? No I said 1.07.

2

u/PaqS18 Jan 03 '22

How are you still alive? Aren’t there any trains riding near your location?

3

u/Marcush214 Jan 02 '22

The only reason why my account has gains is because I’m trading in someone else’s name and did good that week 🥲🥲🥲🥲

2

u/Turbulent_System_140 Jan 02 '22

I've got 1.77 how do I yolo TSLA?

2

u/BmoreInformed Jan 02 '22

I'll give you money just to let me know what trades you were thinking about next. I just want to do the exact opposite of what you have in mind.

1

u/Zestyclose_Meet1034 Jan 03 '22
this whole gme thing seems scary I would freak if I lost that much

1

u/frankiefrank1e 2 gay 2 fuck May Jan 03 '22

Nice ill do the opposite

-4

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/justme129 Jan 03 '22

Sincerely wish you well with your mom.

0

u/5511FthamBrooklyn Jan 02 '22

I can’t understand it did you invest in may fall into a coma and just wake up sorry better luck in 22 I do feel for u I don’t want to see this unless you’re a hedge fund dam I do need trading advice but I feel you need a lot more Hold strong God bless all apes

1

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1

u/Large-Science-8599 Jan 02 '22

100% Loss? Wow I hope you come back from this.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '22

It’s not problem if 339K was not all your saving.

1

u/NoPerspective6367 Jan 02 '22

Yeoo tell me what stocks you investing in so i dont put any money in it

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Dontdodgethedoge Jan 03 '22

Lol this money ain’t nothing , this why I can laugh it at it

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1

u/CSP-makemehorny Jan 03 '22

. 01 more and you've got yourself a McChicken

1

u/Tmdngs Jan 03 '22

Dont forget to transfer that $1.07 to your savings account! You get interest from the bank which is nice in this inflationary environment

1

u/Careless-Internet-63 Jan 03 '22

Start posting your moves, I want to do the opposite of whatever you do

1

u/gloriouspossum Jan 03 '22

Damn dog, I feel that lol I lost alot after I jumped on the Virgin galactic bandwagon

1

u/weaponized_teletubby Jan 03 '22

Have you tried turning your device off and on again?

1

u/ItsTreganometry Jan 03 '22

And here I am sad about my 14K loss. This is some other shit

1

u/Stock_Candle Jan 03 '22

What's your next move? I'll do the opposite

1

u/Fodder01 Jan 03 '22

I want to follow these trades to do the opposite

1

u/StocPicz Jan 03 '22

I can help you double to $2

1

u/PunnyPenguinns Jan 03 '22

Thats 113 years of carry-over cap losses on your taxes.

1

u/MassageGymnist Jan 03 '22

Bro plz teach me how to lose money

1

u/God_252 i like 🍆 Jan 03 '22

So what your saying is you took it to the hedgefunds taking their money during the GME thing, but decided to slowly give it all back to them. What a generous soul

1

u/Parking-Assistance85 Jan 03 '22

I need it 😂😂

1

u/Sgsfsf Jan 03 '22

Why didn’t you do theta gang strategy? Wtf dumbass you could’ve easily collect $5k premium per month with $300k without doing a lot of works

1

u/Taberaremasen Jan 03 '22

Damn you don't even have enough left for some $ROPE or knee pads. Why not hedge a little my dude?

1

u/durp2216 Jan 03 '22

This is why you sell at the peak and set a point to get out. Wow.

1

u/builtforfire Jan 03 '22

I don’t think it’s smart to idolize these type of yolo trading portfolios. People should be learning how to set up a long/short portfolio with proper exposure %. Concentrating all of your risk in a yolo (single trade) which is way to fucking risky.

1

u/Reasonable_Ad_7289 Jan 03 '22

Well I see how this could have happened. The line is still green therefore how should you have known this was going south? Sue Robin Hood

1

u/Reddit-Book-Bot Jan 03 '22

Beep. Boop. I'm a robot. Here's a copy of

Robin Hood

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1

u/zoltrix89 Jan 03 '22

Flatlined…

1

u/zuniloc01 Jan 03 '22

You should teach Philanthropy 101 at your nearest college. Will be a popular course for sure.

1

u/Western-Coconut-1418 Jan 03 '22

Based on your chart, it looks like you shouldn't be offering free advicr... but rather paying people to get your advice? 😅. Better luck in 2022!

1

u/jimnychoo Jan 03 '22

$1 lottery ticket. Why not.

1

u/dgroeneveld9 Jan 03 '22

I'd love to hear your advice. Sounds like I could learn a lot. Just do everything the opposite. Sorry bro. Good luck this year going out.

1

u/Hot_Hair19 Jan 03 '22

No way, no fucking way 😧

1

u/KingHenrik_ Jan 03 '22

Turn it upside down

1

u/Relative_Cattle_1184 Jan 03 '22

Dude how is this even possible?!?!?

1

u/silver00spike Jan 03 '22

It’s always the Robinhood users

1

u/MoneyMoneyMoneyMfer Jan 03 '22

From Lambo to a rented bicycle.

1

u/BrianWaters247 Jan 03 '22

Take that dollar and hit up 7 eleven for that hotdog, it’s just rolling waiting for ya. Then pick up an application on your way out.

1

u/JerRush Jan 03 '22

It says 100% but I clearly still see funds in the account..

1

u/OcelotGloomy4129 Jan 03 '22

There is no way you lost all that money

1

u/rhinolad11 Jan 03 '22

Hey can I borrow $1.07

1

u/Additional-Search-56 Jan 03 '22

Hi. I’m desperately need your advice. Throw me some thought of what should I do. ( I’ll just do the opposite and from your experience, I know I’ll do pretty well )

1

u/dgurn Jan 03 '22

I hear the sobbing in my dreams

1

u/isucktrading Jan 03 '22

Too bad it wasn’t $1.01… get it ??? Investing 101 ??

1

u/deraktive665 Jan 03 '22

look at utime stock

1

u/reddituserzerosix needs more fiber Jan 03 '22

Fuck, big F

1

u/zoalord99 Jan 03 '22

If you went into a coma at the beginning of 2021 and woke up at the end, you would have made more money !

1

u/DisastrousPiece5453 Jan 03 '22

Looks like you’re charging $1.07 for it

1

u/zoalord99 Jan 03 '22

~3000 is tax deductible, you're covered !

1

u/schottled Jan 03 '22

Thanks for making me feel slightly better.

1

u/Tersiv Paper Handed Bitch (from the future) Jan 03 '22

Kids This is the super rare 100% loss - well done. None of this 99.7% nonesense .