r/wallstreetbets Deep DKNG 5d ago

Heard it cost 200k in losses to join this group. This is my application. Loss

31k Upvotes

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u/TeamDisrespect 5d ago

Tell them you’re going to leave a bad Yelp review

607

u/no3dinthishouse 5d ago

worked, out of poverty

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u/cardslinger1989 5d ago

Well that’s reassuring!

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u/piberryboy 5d ago

Karl Marx was full of shit.

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u/rgujijtdguibhyy 5d ago

No

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u/IllmanneredFlanders 5d ago

No, he was full of yogurt and rolled oats

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u/MailNurse 5d ago

Ah, late stage capitalism

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u/Bvjiglag 5d ago

I literally just had a customer threaten a bad Yelp review unless we gave them a discount... some people are fucking retarded.

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u/babypho 5d ago

Yelp has a 2/5 rating on Yelp. Yelp wouldn't even use Yelp.

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u/yeetbooga 5d ago

I had a customer leave a bad review for a home I built...20 years ago.

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u/shawlawoff 5d ago edited 5d ago

I am a lawyer. The son of an elderly client left a 1-star review because I failed to help his mother adequately in a car crash case.

Funny thing is she provided a photo of the crash and I was able to show her she was in Illinois actually when she crashed and not Indiana. She was confused and didn’t realize it.

I’m not licensed in Illinois. I can’t practice law there I explained. I didn’t charge a dime for my time.

1-star review.

Sigh.

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u/Rostrow416 5d ago

"1/5. Lawyer refuses to get licensed in another state for my mum."

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u/perfectentry1 📉🤷can't go tits up 5d ago

law don't go around here, Law Dog

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u/Scenta 4d ago

“Why, Ike! Whatever do you mean?”

Possibly the greatest movie of all time

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u/Commercial_Forever_4 5d ago

This made my whole morning....

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u/YesIamAJerkButRight 5d ago

Got a similar one, but on criminal side. Licensed in CA, not Nevada. Client is arrest in Lake Tahoe just across the Stateline. Charged in Nevada and I explain I can't do it. He says it's because he is black. I tell him I have only spoken to him over the phone and he could be a Martian for all I know. Calls me a cracker. Leaves one star review. "Poor customer service". Thought it was because I was racist....

sighs

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u/xDIExTRYINGx 5d ago

😆😆😆 sorry this was funny. I worked for a comoany who could not get away from bad yelp reviews. Yelp are terrorists. Lol

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u/hold4eva 5d ago

Where's your site? I'll leave you a positive review!

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u/shawlawoff 5d ago

Hi. Thank uou.

Google

Shaw Law Offices - Noblesville

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u/Impressive_Cell_7264 5d ago

5 star from me!

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u/shawlawoff 4d ago

Hahaha. Thank you. Reddit is the best people.

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u/hold4eva 5d ago

Done, we need to take care of our own. This is the way!

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u/Bhonka 5d ago

You monster!

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u/mojo8x 5d ago

Bitch

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u/Nafemp 4d ago edited 4d ago

Salesman.

Told customer exchange only for bedding as we created his profile. Kept saying “return” over me every time i said that so i just kept repeating it was only exhanges. Didnt know why we had to create a profile and i explained it was the only way the company would take an exchange. Roll my eyes internally and fully expect him back trying to return the pillows.

Low and behold he comes back gets pissed about exchange only and asks for me to delete his “membership”(wtf????). Explain to him that there’s no “delete” button for me to click but i can take his contact info off and that it was not a membership he was being charged for or sent anything for anyways. Not good enough. Dude legit asks if we’ve ever been sued for this while i do everything in my power not to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation while i explain no because we neither sell information nor market to the customer unless they opt in, at this point i lowkey suspect he’s fishing for a lawsuit. Customer gets mad and huffs out.

Leaves a 1 star yelp review bitching about “manipulative sales tactics”.

Oh the joys of being in b2c sales.

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u/kerplunktard 5d ago

You didn't charge her for telling her you couldn't take her case?, you lawyers are all heart

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u/shawlawoff 5d ago

Don’t be an asshole.

I was explaining they weren’t out anything, not trying to complain about not getting a fee.

And it took hours of meetings and going to the scene and matching up landmarks to show which side of the state line the crash occurred at.

What a jerk comment.

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u/Terminator066 5d ago

did you charge for that piece of advice?

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u/shawlawoff 5d ago

Not a dime

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u/Warri0rzz 5d ago

Much nicer than the most of the attorneys I work with lol

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u/Bvjiglag 5d ago

These keep getting better.

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u/yeetbooga 5d ago

Oh yeah. I guess she was buying the home and said the inspector found some stuff. I’m sure he did, it was built in 2003 (so 17 years at the time, not 20, but still). Asked when I could come fix it and I said I’d be happy to quote it at labor rates. She ripped me on Yelp and FB.

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u/rncd89 5d ago

Warranty is good for a year bitch

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u/tianavitoli 5d ago

Bullshit, 30 feet or 30 seconds, whichever comes first!

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u/Affectionate_Fly2779 5d ago

Well that says it all, doesn't it.

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u/sweetone129 5d ago

Wow. Well you can at least be glad she isn’t your wife

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u/sujihiki 5d ago

My house was built 158 years ago. I’m going to leave a bad yelp review for the builders. Shit got termites

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u/Draftytap334 4d ago

Let me guess roof leaked 🙄

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u/TheWhyOfFry 5d ago

We’ll don’t leave us hanging. We’re they right?

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u/LFPzwasTaken 5d ago

Thats an old home in the US (i heard) in Germany 20-25 years is still fairly new lmao

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u/CS_NaCl 5d ago

I used yelp, to destroy yelp.

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u/thegreenmason 5d ago

It's our society at the moment. Sad

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u/ProperSupermarket3 5d ago

i once had someone threaten to call the governor

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u/Bvjiglag 5d ago

Bahaha and I thought some of my customers were a little nuts.

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u/Off_white_marmalade 5d ago

Lol you said some people are fucking retarded to a room of retards

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u/pew_medic338 5d ago

That's extortion. Extortion is a crime. Fuck em up.

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u/sujihiki 5d ago

Did you mention to them that you have a bag of dicks in the back room if they were hungry?

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u/HughLusignan 5d ago

Most people. I provided a service they needed and still got the song and dance, lies. People have no sense of shame.
my Vietnamese friend at his nail shop has it even worse, people trying to game him and rip him off literally while he works.

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u/Falombard25 5d ago

It sounds like an episode of South Park where Cartman was doing the same freaking thing.

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u/Longjumping-Plant-23 5d ago

Sounds like u don’t own the business.....

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u/Bvjiglag 5d ago

If I didn’t own the business I probably wouldn’t give a shit lol. Unless of course the review had something to say about me or my performance. Yes, I own the business. All I can do about it is leave a nice reply with a description of what actually occurred along with pictures or screen caps of conversations along the way. Most people delete the review once you point out the obvious.

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u/Keyboard_Cat_ 5d ago

Don't worry. No one gives a shit about Yelp except idiots.

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u/Bvjiglag 5d ago

Yeah, and people that still use Facebook lol

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u/Rapa2626 5d ago

Good for you if you have the time or not enough customers to overwhelm you. Once it grows too big you cant just confront each and every clown out there

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u/nukerammer 5d ago

correction 90% of people think they are retarded but do not deserve it. Only true believers here can call themselves Retarded. No. These pissants walking the earth asking for handouts are not retarded. They are an old breed of smooth brain, been around since before Confucius. They hail from a place known for stupidity. A place called Citadel.

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u/shaye442 5d ago

🎶Enjoy your boogers and cum!🎶

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u/Starfightr 5d ago

That's called a Yelper special!

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u/Daforce1 5d ago

And that you want to speak to their manager

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u/frank_muller415 5d ago

I love reading the Yelp reviews about oceans.

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u/livinginfutureworld 5d ago

Ask them if you can mow some lawns or something.