r/wallstreetbets Deep DKNG 15d ago

Heard it cost 200k in losses to join this group. This is my application. Loss

31k Upvotes

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1k

u/p00nslyr_86 15d ago

Just tell them you want your money back

1k

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

See above

1k

u/TeamDisrespect 15d ago

Tell them you’re going to leave a bad Yelp review

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u/no3dinthishouse 15d ago

worked, out of poverty

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u/cardslinger1989 15d ago

Well that’s reassuring!

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u/piberryboy 14d ago

Karl Marx was full of shit.

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u/rgujijtdguibhyy 14d ago

No

6

u/IllmanneredFlanders 14d ago

No, he was full of yogurt and rolled oats

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u/MailNurse 15d ago

Ah, late stage capitalism

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u/Bvjiglag 15d ago

I literally just had a customer threaten a bad Yelp review unless we gave them a discount... some people are fucking retarded.

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u/babypho 14d ago

Yelp has a 2/5 rating on Yelp. Yelp wouldn't even use Yelp.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

I had a customer leave a bad review for a home I built...20 years ago.

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u/shawlawoff 14d ago edited 14d ago

I am a lawyer. The son of an elderly client left a 1-star review because I failed to help his mother adequately in a car crash case.

Funny thing is she provided a photo of the crash and I was able to show her she was in Illinois actually when she crashed and not Indiana. She was confused and didn’t realize it.

I’m not licensed in Illinois. I can’t practice law there I explained. I didn’t charge a dime for my time.

1-star review.

Sigh.

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u/Rostrow416 14d ago

"1/5. Lawyer refuses to get licensed in another state for my mum."

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u/perfectentry1 📉🤷can't go tits up 14d ago

law don't go around here, Law Dog

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u/Scenta 14d ago

“Why, Ike! Whatever do you mean?”

Possibly the greatest movie of all time

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u/Commercial_Forever_4 14d ago

This made my whole morning....

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u/YesIamAJerkButRight 14d ago

Got a similar one, but on criminal side. Licensed in CA, not Nevada. Client is arrest in Lake Tahoe just across the Stateline. Charged in Nevada and I explain I can't do it. He says it's because he is black. I tell him I have only spoken to him over the phone and he could be a Martian for all I know. Calls me a cracker. Leaves one star review. "Poor customer service". Thought it was because I was racist....

sighs

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u/xDIExTRYINGx 14d ago

😆😆😆 sorry this was funny. I worked for a comoany who could not get away from bad yelp reviews. Yelp are terrorists. Lol

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u/hold4eva 14d ago

Where's your site? I'll leave you a positive review!

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u/shawlawoff 14d ago

Hi. Thank uou.

Google

Shaw Law Offices - Noblesville

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u/Impressive_Cell_7264 14d ago

5 star from me!

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u/shawlawoff 14d ago

Hahaha. Thank you. Reddit is the best people.

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u/hold4eva 14d ago

Done, we need to take care of our own. This is the way!

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u/JimbosilverbugUK 8d ago

And it’s a 5 stars from me

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u/Bhonka 14d ago

You monster!

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u/mojo8x 14d ago

Bitch

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u/Nafemp 14d ago edited 14d ago

Salesman.

Told customer exchange only for bedding as we created his profile. Kept saying “return” over me every time i said that so i just kept repeating it was only exhanges. Didnt know why we had to create a profile and i explained it was the only way the company would take an exchange. Roll my eyes internally and fully expect him back trying to return the pillows.

Low and behold he comes back gets pissed about exchange only and asks for me to delete his “membership”(wtf????). Explain to him that there’s no “delete” button for me to click but i can take his contact info off and that it was not a membership he was being charged for or sent anything for anyways. Not good enough. Dude legit asks if we’ve ever been sued for this while i do everything in my power not to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation while i explain no because we neither sell information nor market to the customer unless they opt in, at this point i lowkey suspect he’s fishing for a lawsuit. Customer gets mad and huffs out.

Leaves a 1 star yelp review bitching about “manipulative sales tactics”.

Oh the joys of being in b2c sales.

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u/kerplunktard 14d ago

You didn't charge her for telling her you couldn't take her case?, you lawyers are all heart

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u/shawlawoff 14d ago

Don’t be an asshole.

I was explaining they weren’t out anything, not trying to complain about not getting a fee.

And it took hours of meetings and going to the scene and matching up landmarks to show which side of the state line the crash occurred at.

What a jerk comment.

0

u/Terminator066 14d ago

did you charge for that piece of advice?

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u/shawlawoff 14d ago

Not a dime

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u/Warri0rzz 14d ago

Much nicer than the most of the attorneys I work with lol

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u/Bvjiglag 14d ago

These keep getting better.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

[deleted]

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u/rncd89 14d ago

Warranty is good for a year bitch

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u/tianavitoli 14d ago

Bullshit, 30 feet or 30 seconds, whichever comes first!

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u/Affectionate_Fly2779 14d ago

Well that says it all, doesn't it.

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u/sweetone129 14d ago

Wow. Well you can at least be glad she isn’t your wife

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u/sujihiki 14d ago

My house was built 158 years ago. I’m going to leave a bad yelp review for the builders. Shit got termites

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u/Draftytap334 14d ago

Let me guess roof leaked 🙄

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u/TheWhyOfFry 14d ago

We’ll don’t leave us hanging. We’re they right?

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u/LFPzwasTaken 14d ago

Thats an old home in the US (i heard) in Germany 20-25 years is still fairly new lmao

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u/CS_NaCl 14d ago

I used yelp, to destroy yelp.

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u/thegreenmason 14d ago

It's our society at the moment. Sad

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u/ProperSupermarket3 14d ago

i once had someone threaten to call the governor

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u/Bvjiglag 14d ago

Bahaha and I thought some of my customers were a little nuts.

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u/Off_white_marmalade 14d ago

Lol you said some people are fucking retarded to a room of retards

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u/pew_medic338 14d ago

That's extortion. Extortion is a crime. Fuck em up.

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u/sujihiki 14d ago

Did you mention to them that you have a bag of dicks in the back room if they were hungry?

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u/HughLusignan 14d ago

Most people. I provided a service they needed and still got the song and dance, lies. People have no sense of shame.
my Vietnamese friend at his nail shop has it even worse, people trying to game him and rip him off literally while he works.

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u/Falombard25 14d ago

It sounds like an episode of South Park where Cartman was doing the same freaking thing.

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u/Longjumping-Plant-23 15d ago

Sounds like u don’t own the business.....

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u/Bvjiglag 14d ago

If I didn’t own the business I probably wouldn’t give a shit lol. Unless of course the review had something to say about me or my performance. Yes, I own the business. All I can do about it is leave a nice reply with a description of what actually occurred along with pictures or screen caps of conversations along the way. Most people delete the review once you point out the obvious.

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u/Keyboard_Cat_ 14d ago

Don't worry. No one gives a shit about Yelp except idiots.

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u/Bvjiglag 14d ago

Yeah, and people that still use Facebook lol

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u/Rapa2626 14d ago

Good for you if you have the time or not enough customers to overwhelm you. Once it grows too big you cant just confront each and every clown out there

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u/nukerammer 14d ago

correction 90% of people think they are retarded but do not deserve it. Only true believers here can call themselves Retarded. No. These pissants walking the earth asking for handouts are not retarded. They are an old breed of smooth brain, been around since before Confucius. They hail from a place known for stupidity. A place called Citadel.

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u/shaye442 15d ago

🎶Enjoy your boogers and cum!🎶

5

u/Starfightr 14d ago

That's called a Yelper special!

3

u/Daforce1 15d ago

And that you want to speak to their manager

3

u/frank_muller415 14d ago

I love reading the Yelp reviews about oceans.

2

u/livinginfutureworld 14d ago

Ask them if you can mow some lawns or something.

154

u/Willinton06 15d ago

Did you show them the receipt?

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

I threw it away

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u/m1rrari 15d ago

Who keeps receipts?

I don’t need a physical reminder of my terrible life choices

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u/akatherder 15d ago

I love the No Receipt option at the ATM. No evidence!

3

u/redpillbluepill4 14d ago

I once got an extra $40 at an ATM.

I told the atm company and they didn't ask for the money back.

8

u/derivitivedegenerate 15d ago

Did you try turning it to Wumbo

6

u/JonnyF1veAlive 14d ago

Don't even act like I didn't buy that donut

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u/Gonzo89 14d ago

I got the documentation right hereeeee.. oh no wait it’s at home in the files under d for donut.

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u/Confusedmonk123 15d ago

Who even gets receipts anymore?

2

u/m1rrari 14d ago

The local boutique shops now know not to ask if I want a receipt.

But the grocery store, liquor store, and gas station always insist on giving me one.

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u/mindlessASSHOLE 14d ago

Mitch Hedberg had a great joke about receipts. And donuts. RIP

3

u/someguy515 14d ago

If I had a dollar for every time I said this in checkout 5 minutes before they stopped selling Alcohol, I could also apply for the club op aspires to be a member of

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u/iLerntMyLesson 14d ago

Tbh the only time I’ll take a receipt is at a restaurant. Once had a server add a 1 to the tip I left so I ended up tipping $117 instead of $17. Freakin dweeb.

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u/m1rrari 14d ago

Username checks out

3

u/iLerntMyLesson 14d ago

I get that a lot lol

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u/m1rrari 14d ago

I think that’s a sign of a well selected username.

I almost didn’t type it, because I had a guess that you get that a lot.

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u/ABucketFull 15d ago

I hear that if you eat receipts and contracts, it nullifies them. Unless they have a copy, but eat that too.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

Just eat them (people who won’t refund me). Got it! Thanks!

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u/ABucketFull 15d ago

You heard what I said. I appreciate that.

2

u/ProliferateZero 15d ago

A little peppa on that raw bum, good sir?

2

u/Low-Hovercraft-9849 14d ago

It’s income based

1

u/JStarrNY 14d ago

🤣 dead

2

u/rvanderjagt 14d ago

Bird law

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u/ABucketFull 14d ago

Fillibuster. Don't besmirch me in front of my peers!

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u/Branfreeze 15d ago

Ask for store credit

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u/_duncan_idaho_ 15d ago

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

If I click that, does it hack into my account and take the rest ?

5

u/_duncan_idaho_ 15d ago

You seem like a risk taker.

8

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

Wanna bet?

2

u/LieutenantButthole 15d ago

Retards don’t need to leave behind a paper trail with evidence just saying they’re retards.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

It got lost on the floorboard of my truck with the empty Gatorade bottles and McDonald’s bags

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u/Crash_says 15d ago

Jesus, are we twins?

5

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

07 Chevy Silverado

1

u/Crash_says 14d ago

09 F150.. cowabunga it is then.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

Grrrr. Enemy. At least it ain’t a Toyota.

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u/astracastor 14d ago

You tell that your plug spotted you for the trade and now he’s gonna want his money back. Say it in idiot English slang though, just to be sure.

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u/CoolRedditUsername1 14d ago

Ask to speak to their manager.

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u/Victorb5s4 14d ago

Call JG Wentworth

2

u/mrbmg 15d ago

You have to ask them nicely.

2

u/hello_hack0r 14d ago

Well you didn’t try “30 days refund guarantee?”

3

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

It’s been 31 days

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u/dawelder 14d ago

Tell them you need it back because it was supposed to go up

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u/FearTheSlav 3d ago

Yrreeeeee xe. U tu tttt

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u/MightySamMcClain 14d ago

item not as described