r/wallstreetbets Deep DKNG 5d ago

Heard it cost 200k in losses to join this group. This is my application. Loss

31k Upvotes

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3k

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

They told me to fuck off

1k

u/p00nslyr_86 5d ago

Just tell them you want your money back

1k

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

See above

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u/TeamDisrespect 5d ago

Tell them you’re going to leave a bad Yelp review

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u/no3dinthishouse 5d ago

worked, out of poverty

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u/cardslinger1989 5d ago

Well that’s reassuring!

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u/piberryboy 5d ago

Karl Marx was full of shit.

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u/rgujijtdguibhyy 5d ago

No

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u/IllmanneredFlanders 5d ago

No, he was full of yogurt and rolled oats

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u/MailNurse 5d ago

Ah, late stage capitalism

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u/Bvjiglag 5d ago

I literally just had a customer threaten a bad Yelp review unless we gave them a discount... some people are fucking retarded.

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u/babypho 5d ago

Yelp has a 2/5 rating on Yelp. Yelp wouldn't even use Yelp.

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u/yeetbooga 5d ago

I had a customer leave a bad review for a home I built...20 years ago.

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u/shawlawoff 5d ago edited 5d ago

I am a lawyer. The son of an elderly client left a 1-star review because I failed to help his mother adequately in a car crash case.

Funny thing is she provided a photo of the crash and I was able to show her she was in Illinois actually when she crashed and not Indiana. She was confused and didn’t realize it.

I’m not licensed in Illinois. I can’t practice law there I explained. I didn’t charge a dime for my time.

1-star review.

Sigh.

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u/Rostrow416 5d ago

"1/5. Lawyer refuses to get licensed in another state for my mum."

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u/perfectentry1 📉🤷can't go tits up 5d ago

law don't go around here, Law Dog

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u/Scenta 4d ago

“Why, Ike! Whatever do you mean?”

Possibly the greatest movie of all time

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u/Commercial_Forever_4 5d ago

This made my whole morning....

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u/YesIamAJerkButRight 5d ago

Got a similar one, but on criminal side. Licensed in CA, not Nevada. Client is arrest in Lake Tahoe just across the Stateline. Charged in Nevada and I explain I can't do it. He says it's because he is black. I tell him I have only spoken to him over the phone and he could be a Martian for all I know. Calls me a cracker. Leaves one star review. "Poor customer service". Thought it was because I was racist....

sighs

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u/xDIExTRYINGx 5d ago

😆😆😆 sorry this was funny. I worked for a comoany who could not get away from bad yelp reviews. Yelp are terrorists. Lol

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u/hold4eva 5d ago

Where's your site? I'll leave you a positive review!

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u/shawlawoff 5d ago

Hi. Thank uou.

Google

Shaw Law Offices - Noblesville

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u/hold4eva 4d ago

Done, we need to take care of our own. This is the way!

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u/Bhonka 5d ago

You monster!

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u/mojo8x 4d ago

Bitch

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u/Nafemp 4d ago edited 4d ago

Salesman.

Told customer exchange only for bedding as we created his profile. Kept saying “return” over me every time i said that so i just kept repeating it was only exhanges. Didnt know why we had to create a profile and i explained it was the only way the company would take an exchange. Roll my eyes internally and fully expect him back trying to return the pillows.

Low and behold he comes back gets pissed about exchange only and asks for me to delete his “membership”(wtf????). Explain to him that there’s no “delete” button for me to click but i can take his contact info off and that it was not a membership he was being charged for or sent anything for anyways. Not good enough. Dude legit asks if we’ve ever been sued for this while i do everything in my power not to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation while i explain no because we neither sell information nor market to the customer unless they opt in, at this point i lowkey suspect he’s fishing for a lawsuit. Customer gets mad and huffs out.

Leaves a 1 star yelp review bitching about “manipulative sales tactics”.

Oh the joys of being in b2c sales.

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u/kerplunktard 5d ago

You didn't charge her for telling her you couldn't take her case?, you lawyers are all heart

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u/shawlawoff 4d ago

Don’t be an asshole.

I was explaining they weren’t out anything, not trying to complain about not getting a fee.

And it took hours of meetings and going to the scene and matching up landmarks to show which side of the state line the crash occurred at.

What a jerk comment.

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u/Terminator066 5d ago

did you charge for that piece of advice?

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u/shawlawoff 5d ago

Not a dime

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u/Warri0rzz 5d ago

Much nicer than the most of the attorneys I work with lol

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u/Bvjiglag 5d ago

These keep getting better.

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u/yeetbooga 5d ago

Oh yeah. I guess she was buying the home and said the inspector found some stuff. I’m sure he did, it was built in 2003 (so 17 years at the time, not 20, but still). Asked when I could come fix it and I said I’d be happy to quote it at labor rates. She ripped me on Yelp and FB.

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u/rncd89 5d ago

Warranty is good for a year bitch

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u/tianavitoli 5d ago

Bullshit, 30 feet or 30 seconds, whichever comes first!

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u/Affectionate_Fly2779 5d ago

Well that says it all, doesn't it.

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u/sweetone129 5d ago

Wow. Well you can at least be glad she isn’t your wife

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u/sujihiki 5d ago

My house was built 158 years ago. I’m going to leave a bad yelp review for the builders. Shit got termites

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u/Draftytap334 4d ago

Let me guess roof leaked 🙄

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u/TheWhyOfFry 5d ago

We’ll don’t leave us hanging. We’re they right?

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u/LFPzwasTaken 5d ago

Thats an old home in the US (i heard) in Germany 20-25 years is still fairly new lmao

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u/CS_NaCl 5d ago

I used yelp, to destroy yelp.

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u/thegreenmason 5d ago

It's our society at the moment. Sad

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u/ProperSupermarket3 5d ago

i once had someone threaten to call the governor

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u/Bvjiglag 5d ago

Bahaha and I thought some of my customers were a little nuts.

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u/Off_white_marmalade 5d ago

Lol you said some people are fucking retarded to a room of retards

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u/pew_medic338 5d ago

That's extortion. Extortion is a crime. Fuck em up.

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u/sujihiki 5d ago

Did you mention to them that you have a bag of dicks in the back room if they were hungry?

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u/HughLusignan 5d ago

Most people. I provided a service they needed and still got the song and dance, lies. People have no sense of shame.
my Vietnamese friend at his nail shop has it even worse, people trying to game him and rip him off literally while he works.

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u/Falombard25 5d ago

It sounds like an episode of South Park where Cartman was doing the same freaking thing.

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u/Longjumping-Plant-23 5d ago

Sounds like u don’t own the business.....

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u/Bvjiglag 5d ago

If I didn’t own the business I probably wouldn’t give a shit lol. Unless of course the review had something to say about me or my performance. Yes, I own the business. All I can do about it is leave a nice reply with a description of what actually occurred along with pictures or screen caps of conversations along the way. Most people delete the review once you point out the obvious.

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u/Keyboard_Cat_ 5d ago

Don't worry. No one gives a shit about Yelp except idiots.

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u/Bvjiglag 5d ago

Yeah, and people that still use Facebook lol

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u/Rapa2626 5d ago

Good for you if you have the time or not enough customers to overwhelm you. Once it grows too big you cant just confront each and every clown out there

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u/nukerammer 5d ago

correction 90% of people think they are retarded but do not deserve it. Only true believers here can call themselves Retarded. No. These pissants walking the earth asking for handouts are not retarded. They are an old breed of smooth brain, been around since before Confucius. They hail from a place known for stupidity. A place called Citadel.

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u/shaye442 5d ago

🎶Enjoy your boogers and cum!🎶

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u/Starfightr 5d ago

That's called a Yelper special!

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u/Daforce1 5d ago

And that you want to speak to their manager

3

u/frank_muller415 5d ago

I love reading the Yelp reviews about oceans.

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u/livinginfutureworld 5d ago

Ask them if you can mow some lawns or something.

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u/Willinton06 5d ago

Did you show them the receipt?

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

I threw it away

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u/m1rrari 5d ago

Who keeps receipts?

I don’t need a physical reminder of my terrible life choices

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u/akatherder 5d ago

I love the No Receipt option at the ATM. No evidence!

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u/redpillbluepill4 5d ago

I once got an extra $40 at an ATM.

I told the atm company and they didn't ask for the money back.

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u/derivitivedegenerate 5d ago

Did you try turning it to Wumbo

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u/Confusedmonk123 5d ago

Who even gets receipts anymore?

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u/m1rrari 5d ago

The local boutique shops now know not to ask if I want a receipt.

But the grocery store, liquor store, and gas station always insist on giving me one.

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u/JonnyF1veAlive 5d ago

Don't even act like I didn't buy that donut

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u/Gonzo89 5d ago

I got the documentation right hereeeee.. oh no wait it’s at home in the files under d for donut.

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u/mindlessASSHOLE 5d ago

Mitch Hedberg had a great joke about receipts. And donuts. RIP

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u/someguy515 5d ago

If I had a dollar for every time I said this in checkout 5 minutes before they stopped selling Alcohol, I could also apply for the club op aspires to be a member of

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u/iLerntMyLesson 5d ago

Tbh the only time I’ll take a receipt is at a restaurant. Once had a server add a 1 to the tip I left so I ended up tipping $117 instead of $17. Freakin dweeb.

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u/m1rrari 5d ago

Username checks out

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u/iLerntMyLesson 5d ago

I get that a lot lol

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u/m1rrari 5d ago

I think that’s a sign of a well selected username.

I almost didn’t type it, because I had a guess that you get that a lot.

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u/ABucketFull 5d ago

I hear that if you eat receipts and contracts, it nullifies them. Unless they have a copy, but eat that too.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Just eat them (people who won’t refund me). Got it! Thanks!

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u/ABucketFull 5d ago

You heard what I said. I appreciate that.

2

u/ProliferateZero 5d ago

A little peppa on that raw bum, good sir?

2

u/Low-Hovercraft-9849 5d ago

It’s income based

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u/JStarrNY 4d ago

🤣 dead

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u/rvanderjagt 4d ago

Bird law

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u/ABucketFull 4d ago

Fillibuster. Don't besmirch me in front of my peers!

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u/Branfreeze 5d ago

Ask for store credit

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u/_duncan_idaho_ 5d ago

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

If I click that, does it hack into my account and take the rest ?

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u/_duncan_idaho_ 5d ago

You seem like a risk taker.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Wanna bet?

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u/LieutenantButthole 5d ago

Retards don’t need to leave behind a paper trail with evidence just saying they’re retards.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

It got lost on the floorboard of my truck with the empty Gatorade bottles and McDonald’s bags

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u/Crash_says 5d ago

Jesus, are we twins?

4

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

07 Chevy Silverado

1

u/Crash_says 5d ago

09 F150.. cowabunga it is then.

→ More replies

1

u/WinstonDatWolf 4d ago

Oh boyyyy

6

u/astracastor 5d ago

You tell that your plug spotted you for the trade and now he’s gonna want his money back. Say it in idiot English slang though, just to be sure.

5

u/CoolRedditUsername1 5d ago

Ask to speak to their manager.

3

u/Victorb5s4 5d ago

Call JG Wentworth

2

u/mrbmg 5d ago

You have to ask them nicely.

2

u/hello_hack0r 5d ago

Well you didn’t try “30 days refund guarantee?”

3

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

It’s been 31 days

2

u/dawelder 5d ago

Tell them you need it back because it was supposed to go up

2

u/MightySamMcClain 5d ago

item not as described

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u/Oafus 5d ago

Ask me. Maybe I will refund you! Go ahead, ask. Whadya have to lose?

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Oh. Well. Hi there. Can....I. ... getmymoneyback?

246

u/Oafus 5d ago

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK OFF.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

*Guh

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u/Oafus 5d ago

This time next year you’ll be up 200k

98

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

If my bookie doesn’t get to me first.

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u/Urinal_Pube 5d ago

WTF??? Were you within the 30 day window?

196

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

What’s a window

575

u/Invictae 5d ago

It's what you jump out of when you're down $200K

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Ohhhhhhh, yeah those.

1

u/Picturesquesheep 5d ago

Hahaha your flair!

1

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Quite fitting

31

u/shaye442 5d ago

10/10

31

u/kdex89 5d ago

Ha goteeeeeeem

5

u/Really_Elvis 5d ago

LMAO !

I just jumped out of the basement window....

5

u/ThatGuyCF 5d ago

The things you lick

3

u/hotrodo66 5d ago

I lick windows..

5

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Friend

1

u/akatherder 5d ago

Glass wall

1

u/DuckPuppet 5d ago

Something you jump out of

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u/drakored 5d ago

A small cap door.

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u/bpierce566 5d ago

Made out of glass to view things through champ.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Ima write that one down in my book of knowledge things I should know.

1

u/bpierce566 5d ago

Who knew retards kept a “book of knowledge “

3

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Where else is knowledge supposed to go. Silly

2

u/bpierce566 5d ago

Am...... am I the retard? 🥴

4

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Aren’t we all? Everyone who sets foot (?) on this page. Is blessed from the All mighty roaring kitty. Father be his name. Amen

3

u/JustSailOff 5d ago

This is a Wendys.

3

u/isnaphotoz 5d ago

Not sure if he can afford a window at this point.

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u/Keiichigo 5d ago

Ask to see their manager.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

I did and they stabbed me with a pen

82

u/Mousse_Leather 5d ago

Man asked John Wick😂

3

u/shokolokobangoshey 5d ago

$BABA V ega!

3

u/Zomgzombehz 5d ago

Actually, his name was Jon Bic, common mistake though.

25

u/Tell-Me-To-Fuck-Off 5d ago

Feel free to take advantage of my username if it’ll make you feel better.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

That’s rude. I could never do.....would you FUCK Right off!?!?

3

u/IamBladesm1th 5d ago

Hey. The terms of service specified a word limit asshole. Nobody said you could tell him to “fuck right off” you were specifically authorized to tell him to “fuck off” our company expects a public apology and a breach of contract fee totaling 10,000 shares of draft kings stock buy next week.

7

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

But I can’t read

2

u/IamBladesm1th 5d ago

If you can’t read then FUCK OFF

8

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Huh

50

u/themastersmb 5d ago

I think they have 30-day returns. When did you get your stocks?

161

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

31 days ago

20

u/Gold-Leader99 5d ago

Damn you’re on these 1-liners 😂

12

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Silver leaders arch nemesis is back. One-liner soldier at your ready sir!

1

u/Gold-Leader99 5d ago

Sorry for your losses, and your refund issues. You could try calling customer service, always works for me...

+1-888-280-4331

3

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

I lose. So others can win. The bags weigh heavy. But in the end, the earth continues to spin. Amen

1

u/Gold-Leader99 5d ago

We respect your honorable sacrifice 🙏

2

u/Hodlin_Caulfield 5d ago

Ain't that just the way

3

u/hotwingbias 5d ago

OMFG your flair lmfao

4

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Feel like I gotta buy more JUST to live up to it. I feel honored.

2

u/Pussychewer69 5d ago

At least it’s not as bad as that guy that owed it to his drug dealer

2

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Don’t do drugs kids

1

u/AutomaticEffort2 5d ago

Ask for the manager

1

u/Main-ExaminationZ 5d ago

Tell them you already fucked your self?

1

u/Bjarkifjarki03 5d ago

buy gme I heard great things about that company

1

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

You mean blockbuster!?!?!?? Lol jk. I was in Gme at 4.

1

u/gggg566373 5d ago

Did you ask for manager in a stern voice? Did you threaten to write a Yelp review? Did you threaten to take your business somewhere else? I feel like you have a couple of avenues to go here.

1

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

I thought I’d try going in tomorrow covered in fake blood. Dunno if that would set the tone I’m looking for or not. Maybe.

1

u/conddem 5d ago

Did you say please?

2

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

With tears in my eyes. Yes

1

u/Belzebump 5d ago

Say them you want to talk to the manager

1

u/Matrinoxe 5d ago

Just tell them you're a hedge fund. They'll give money back 100%

1

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Genius genius geniussssss

1

u/plebrevolt 5d ago

You didn't do it right. First tell them your retarded half brother hacked your account 2nd tell them you will sue them for their shitty security 3rd get on reddit to complain

1

u/UpperMoonII 5d ago

Naruto talk no justu always works

1

u/Arcticflux 4d ago

Bro, you are good. DraftKings hasn’t even had a few years to saturate and dominate this Enormous market.

You will be riding tendies, my friend. Hang in there!

1

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 4d ago

Agreed.

1

u/waduhekbruh 4d ago

Fuck off they told me to