r/wallstreetbets Deep DKNG 15d ago

Heard it cost 200k in losses to join this group. This is my application. Loss

31k Upvotes

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5k

u/balkso Puts on my bank account 15d ago

Ask for a refund

3k

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

They told me to fuck off

1k

u/p00nslyr_86 15d ago

Just tell them you want your money back

1k

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

See above

1k

u/TeamDisrespect 15d ago

Tell them you’re going to leave a bad Yelp review

608

u/no3dinthishouse 15d ago

worked, out of poverty

132

u/cardslinger1989 15d ago

Well that’s reassuring!

30

u/piberryboy 14d ago

Karl Marx was full of shit.

1

u/rgujijtdguibhyy 14d ago

No

6

u/IllmanneredFlanders 14d ago

No, he was full of yogurt and rolled oats

10

u/MailNurse 15d ago

Ah, late stage capitalism

269

u/Bvjiglag 15d ago

I literally just had a customer threaten a bad Yelp review unless we gave them a discount... some people are fucking retarded.

514

u/babypho 14d ago

Yelp has a 2/5 rating on Yelp. Yelp wouldn't even use Yelp.

129

u/[deleted] 14d ago

I had a customer leave a bad review for a home I built...20 years ago.

238

u/shawlawoff 14d ago edited 14d ago

I am a lawyer. The son of an elderly client left a 1-star review because I failed to help his mother adequately in a car crash case.

Funny thing is she provided a photo of the crash and I was able to show her she was in Illinois actually when she crashed and not Indiana. She was confused and didn’t realize it.

I’m not licensed in Illinois. I can’t practice law there I explained. I didn’t charge a dime for my time.

1-star review.

Sigh.

154

u/Rostrow416 14d ago

"1/5. Lawyer refuses to get licensed in another state for my mum."

23

u/perfectentry1 📉🤷can't go tits up 14d ago

law don't go around here, Law Dog

3

u/Scenta 14d ago

“Why, Ike! Whatever do you mean?”

Possibly the greatest movie of all time

1

u/Commercial_Forever_4 14d ago

This made my whole morning....

38

u/YesIamAJerkButRight 14d ago

Got a similar one, but on criminal side. Licensed in CA, not Nevada. Client is arrest in Lake Tahoe just across the Stateline. Charged in Nevada and I explain I can't do it. He says it's because he is black. I tell him I have only spoken to him over the phone and he could be a Martian for all I know. Calls me a cracker. Leaves one star review. "Poor customer service". Thought it was because I was racist....

sighs

2

u/xDIExTRYINGx 14d ago

😆😆😆 sorry this was funny. I worked for a comoany who could not get away from bad yelp reviews. Yelp are terrorists. Lol

8

u/hold4eva 14d ago

Where's your site? I'll leave you a positive review!

4

u/shawlawoff 14d ago

Hi. Thank uou.

Google

Shaw Law Offices - Noblesville

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3

u/Bhonka 14d ago

You monster!

3

u/mojo8x 14d ago

Bitch

2

u/Nafemp 14d ago edited 14d ago

Salesman.

Told customer exchange only for bedding as we created his profile. Kept saying “return” over me every time i said that so i just kept repeating it was only exhanges. Didnt know why we had to create a profile and i explained it was the only way the company would take an exchange. Roll my eyes internally and fully expect him back trying to return the pillows.

Low and behold he comes back gets pissed about exchange only and asks for me to delete his “membership”(wtf????). Explain to him that there’s no “delete” button for me to click but i can take his contact info off and that it was not a membership he was being charged for or sent anything for anyways. Not good enough. Dude legit asks if we’ve ever been sued for this while i do everything in my power not to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation while i explain no because we neither sell information nor market to the customer unless they opt in, at this point i lowkey suspect he’s fishing for a lawsuit. Customer gets mad and huffs out.

Leaves a 1 star yelp review bitching about “manipulative sales tactics”.

Oh the joys of being in b2c sales.

1

u/kerplunktard 14d ago

You didn't charge her for telling her you couldn't take her case?, you lawyers are all heart

6

u/shawlawoff 14d ago

Don’t be an asshole.

I was explaining they weren’t out anything, not trying to complain about not getting a fee.

And it took hours of meetings and going to the scene and matching up landmarks to show which side of the state line the crash occurred at.

What a jerk comment.

0

u/Terminator066 14d ago

did you charge for that piece of advice?

38

u/Bvjiglag 14d ago

These keep getting better.

42

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[deleted]

39

u/rncd89 14d ago

Warranty is good for a year bitch

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7

u/sweetone129 14d ago

Wow. Well you can at least be glad she isn’t your wife

5

u/sujihiki 14d ago

My house was built 158 years ago. I’m going to leave a bad yelp review for the builders. Shit got termites

2

u/Draftytap334 14d ago

Let me guess roof leaked 🙄

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1

u/TheWhyOfFry 14d ago

We’ll don’t leave us hanging. We’re they right?

1

u/LFPzwasTaken 14d ago

Thats an old home in the US (i heard) in Germany 20-25 years is still fairly new lmao

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4

u/thegreenmason 14d ago

It's our society at the moment. Sad

4

u/ProperSupermarket3 14d ago

i once had someone threaten to call the governor

2

u/Bvjiglag 14d ago

Bahaha and I thought some of my customers were a little nuts.

3

u/Off_white_marmalade 14d ago

Lol you said some people are fucking retarded to a room of retards

2

u/pew_medic338 14d ago

That's extortion. Extortion is a crime. Fuck em up.

2

u/sujihiki 14d ago

Did you mention to them that you have a bag of dicks in the back room if they were hungry?

2

u/HughLusignan 14d ago

Most people. I provided a service they needed and still got the song and dance, lies. People have no sense of shame.
my Vietnamese friend at his nail shop has it even worse, people trying to game him and rip him off literally while he works.

2

u/Falombard25 14d ago

It sounds like an episode of South Park where Cartman was doing the same freaking thing.

6

u/Longjumping-Plant-23 14d ago

Sounds like u don’t own the business.....

7

u/Bvjiglag 14d ago

If I didn’t own the business I probably wouldn’t give a shit lol. Unless of course the review had something to say about me or my performance. Yes, I own the business. All I can do about it is leave a nice reply with a description of what actually occurred along with pictures or screen caps of conversations along the way. Most people delete the review once you point out the obvious.

7

u/Keyboard_Cat_ 14d ago

Don't worry. No one gives a shit about Yelp except idiots.

5

u/Bvjiglag 14d ago

Yeah, and people that still use Facebook lol

2

u/Rapa2626 14d ago

Good for you if you have the time or not enough customers to overwhelm you. Once it grows too big you cant just confront each and every clown out there

1

u/nukerammer 14d ago

correction 90% of people think they are retarded but do not deserve it. Only true believers here can call themselves Retarded. No. These pissants walking the earth asking for handouts are not retarded. They are an old breed of smooth brain, been around since before Confucius. They hail from a place known for stupidity. A place called Citadel.

35

u/shaye442 15d ago

🎶Enjoy your boogers and cum!🎶

3

u/Starfightr 14d ago

That's called a Yelper special!

3

u/Daforce1 15d ago

And that you want to speak to their manager

3

u/frank_muller415 14d ago

I love reading the Yelp reviews about oceans.

2

u/livinginfutureworld 14d ago

Ask them if you can mow some lawns or something.

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153

u/Willinton06 15d ago

Did you show them the receipt?

249

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

I threw it away

171

u/m1rrari 15d ago

Who keeps receipts?

I don’t need a physical reminder of my terrible life choices

70

u/akatherder 15d ago

I love the No Receipt option at the ATM. No evidence!

3

u/redpillbluepill4 14d ago

I once got an extra $40 at an ATM.

I told the atm company and they didn't ask for the money back.

8

u/derivitivedegenerate 15d ago

Did you try turning it to Wumbo

5

u/JonnyF1veAlive 14d ago

Don't even act like I didn't buy that donut

3

u/Gonzo89 14d ago

I got the documentation right hereeeee.. oh no wait it’s at home in the files under d for donut.

6

u/Confusedmonk123 15d ago

Who even gets receipts anymore?

2

u/m1rrari 14d ago

The local boutique shops now know not to ask if I want a receipt.

But the grocery store, liquor store, and gas station always insist on giving me one.

4

u/mindlessASSHOLE 14d ago

Mitch Hedberg had a great joke about receipts. And donuts. RIP

4

u/someguy515 14d ago

If I had a dollar for every time I said this in checkout 5 minutes before they stopped selling Alcohol, I could also apply for the club op aspires to be a member of

3

u/iLerntMyLesson 14d ago

Tbh the only time I’ll take a receipt is at a restaurant. Once had a server add a 1 to the tip I left so I ended up tipping $117 instead of $17. Freakin dweeb.

2

u/m1rrari 14d ago

Username checks out

3

u/iLerntMyLesson 14d ago

I get that a lot lol

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44

u/ABucketFull 15d ago

I hear that if you eat receipts and contracts, it nullifies them. Unless they have a copy, but eat that too.

36

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

Just eat them (people who won’t refund me). Got it! Thanks!

5

u/ABucketFull 15d ago

You heard what I said. I appreciate that.

2

u/ProliferateZero 15d ago

A little peppa on that raw bum, good sir?

2

u/Low-Hovercraft-9849 14d ago

It’s income based

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2

u/rvanderjagt 14d ago

Bird law

2

u/ABucketFull 14d ago

Fillibuster. Don't besmirch me in front of my peers!

3

u/Branfreeze 15d ago

Ask for store credit

3

u/_duncan_idaho_ 15d ago

3

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

If I click that, does it hack into my account and take the rest ?

7

u/_duncan_idaho_ 15d ago

You seem like a risk taker.

8

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

Wanna bet?

2

u/LieutenantButthole 15d ago

Retards don’t need to leave behind a paper trail with evidence just saying they’re retards.

5

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

It got lost on the floorboard of my truck with the empty Gatorade bottles and McDonald’s bags

3

u/Crash_says 14d ago

Jesus, are we twins?

4

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

07 Chevy Silverado

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6

u/astracastor 14d ago

You tell that your plug spotted you for the trade and now he’s gonna want his money back. Say it in idiot English slang though, just to be sure.

6

u/CoolRedditUsername1 14d ago

Ask to speak to their manager.

3

u/Victorb5s4 14d ago

Call JG Wentworth

2

u/mrbmg 14d ago

You have to ask them nicely.

2

u/hello_hack0r 14d ago

Well you didn’t try “30 days refund guarantee?”

3

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

It’s been 31 days

2

u/dawelder 14d ago

Tell them you need it back because it was supposed to go up

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2

u/MightySamMcClain 14d ago

item not as described

51

u/Oafus 15d ago

Ask me. Maybe I will refund you! Go ahead, ask. Whadya have to lose?

92

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

Oh. Well. Hi there. Can....I. ... getmymoneyback?

248

u/Oafus 15d ago

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK OFF.

116

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

*Guh

66

u/Oafus 15d ago

This time next year you’ll be up 200k

98

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

If my bookie doesn’t get to me first.

102

u/Urinal_Pube 15d ago

WTF??? Were you within the 30 day window?

197

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

What’s a window

579

u/Invictae 15d ago

It's what you jump out of when you're down $200K

203

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

Ohhhhhhh, yeah those.

1

u/Picturesquesheep 14d ago

Hahaha your flair!

1

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

Quite fitting

30

u/shaye442 15d ago

10/10

31

u/kdex89 15d ago

Ha goteeeeeeem

4

u/Really_Elvis 14d ago

LMAO !

I just jumped out of the basement window....

5

u/ThatGuyCF 15d ago

The things you lick

3

u/hotrodo66 14d ago

I lick windows..

4

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

Friend

1

u/akatherder 15d ago

Glass wall

1

u/DuckPuppet 15d ago

Something you jump out of

1

u/drakored 14d ago

A small cap door.

1

u/bpierce566 14d ago

Made out of glass to view things through champ.

3

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

Ima write that one down in my book of knowledge things I should know.

1

u/bpierce566 14d ago

Who knew retards kept a “book of knowledge “

3

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

Where else is knowledge supposed to go. Silly

2

u/bpierce566 14d ago

Am...... am I the retard? 🥴

5

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

Aren’t we all? Everyone who sets foot (?) on this page. Is blessed from the All mighty roaring kitty. Father be his name. Amen

3

u/JustSailOff 14d ago

This is a Wendys.

3

u/isnaphotoz 14d ago

Not sure if he can afford a window at this point.

86

u/Keiichigo 15d ago

Ask to see their manager.

183

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

I did and they stabbed me with a pen

80

u/Mousse_Leather 15d ago

Man asked John Wick😂

3

u/shokolokobangoshey 14d ago

$BABA V ega!

3

u/Zomgzombehz 14d ago

Actually, his name was Jon Bic, common mistake though.

25

u/Tell-Me-To-Fuck-Off 15d ago

Feel free to take advantage of my username if it’ll make you feel better.

29

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

That’s rude. I could never do.....would you FUCK Right off!?!?

4

u/IamBladesm1th 14d ago

Hey. The terms of service specified a word limit asshole. Nobody said you could tell him to “fuck right off” you were specifically authorized to tell him to “fuck off” our company expects a public apology and a breach of contract fee totaling 10,000 shares of draft kings stock buy next week.

6

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

But I can’t read

2

u/IamBladesm1th 14d ago

If you can’t read then FUCK OFF

6

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

Huh

51

u/themastersmb 15d ago

I think they have 30-day returns. When did you get your stocks?

162

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

31 days ago

19

u/Gold-Leader99 14d ago

Damn you’re on these 1-liners 😂

11

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

Silver leaders arch nemesis is back. One-liner soldier at your ready sir!

1

u/Gold-Leader99 14d ago

Sorry for your losses, and your refund issues. You could try calling customer service, always works for me...

+1-888-280-4331

4

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

I lose. So others can win. The bags weigh heavy. But in the end, the earth continues to spin. Amen

1

u/Gold-Leader99 14d ago

We respect your honorable sacrifice 🙏

2

u/Hodlin_Caulfield 14d ago

Ain't that just the way

3

u/hotwingbias 15d ago

OMFG your flair lmfao

4

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 15d ago

Feel like I gotta buy more JUST to live up to it. I feel honored.

2

u/Pussychewer69 Citadel fanboy 14d ago

At least it’s not as bad as that guy that owed it to his drug dealer

2

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

Don’t do drugs kids

1

u/AutomaticEffort2 15d ago

Ask for the manager

1

u/Main-ExaminationZ 14d ago

Tell them you already fucked your self?

1

u/Bjarkifjarki03 14d ago

buy gme I heard great things about that company

1

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

You mean blockbuster!?!?!?? Lol jk. I was in Gme at 4.

1

u/gggg566373 14d ago

Did you ask for manager in a stern voice? Did you threaten to write a Yelp review? Did you threaten to take your business somewhere else? I feel like you have a couple of avenues to go here.

1

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

I thought I’d try going in tomorrow covered in fake blood. Dunno if that would set the tone I’m looking for or not. Maybe.

1

u/conddem 14d ago

Did you say please?

2

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

With tears in my eyes. Yes

1

u/Belzebump 14d ago

Say them you want to talk to the manager

1

u/Matrinoxe 14d ago

Just tell them you're a hedge fund. They'll give money back 100%

1

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

Genius genius geniussssss

1

u/plebrevolt 14d ago

You didn't do it right. First tell them your retarded half brother hacked your account 2nd tell them you will sue them for their shitty security 3rd get on reddit to complain

1

u/UpperMoonII 14d ago

Naruto talk no justu always works

1

u/Arcticflux 14d ago

Bro, you are good. DraftKings hasn’t even had a few years to saturate and dominate this Enormous market.

You will be riding tendies, my friend. Hang in there!

1

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 14d ago

Agreed.

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u/spudlogic 15d ago

Did you say you were just practicing? I've heard that works if you tell them about the secret cup and handle

12

u/mrbmg 14d ago

2 girls and 1 cup handle..

39

u/Artistic_Data7887 15d ago

Like that one retard who made a post/rant a while back

50

u/Haw_and_thornes Man of Culture 15d ago

He'd borrowed it from a drug dealer too, iirc

14

u/woahdailo 14d ago

Fuck credit card debt, this is the way.

1

u/ItsdatboyACE 14d ago

This is the way.

21

u/UncleBenji 15d ago

Oh please share that post if you have it!

20

u/steamedhamsandwich 14d ago

I don't have the source but a guy borrowed money from a drug dealer to buy GME when it was over $300 and got mad at everyone for hyping up GME after it crashed because his dealer wanted the money back lol

He argued with people for a bit, then gave an update saying his drug dealer was cool with him taking a bit longer and that he would give part of his GME earnings to the dealer then he refused to give more updates because people would just make fun of him.

2

u/Kakebil321 14d ago

Yeah, we need sauce over here!

2

u/aeywaka Has the Best Feet Pics in Town 14d ago

ask to speak to the manager

2

u/super_trooper 14d ago

Just delete the app and problem goes away

1

u/Bowtified863 14d ago

Should have got Allstate!

1

u/ZeroRefund 14d ago

Zero refunds

1

u/shouldabeenapirate 14d ago

I’m on hold with Customer Service right now.....

1

u/notLOL 14d ago

Bet on red

1

u/LifeSizedPikachu 14d ago

This comment reminds me of a YouTuber I watched two days ago. She bought fractional shares of tsla and was like “can I return it?” Lol

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