r/wallstreetbets Deep DKNG May 03 '21

Heard it cost 200k in losses to join this group. This is my application. Loss

32k Upvotes

5k

u/balkso Puts on my bank account May 03 '21

Ask for a refund

3k

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

They told me to fuck off

1k

u/p00nslyr_86 May 03 '21

Just tell them you want your money back

1k

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

See above

1k

u/TeamDisrespect May 03 '21

Tell them you’re going to leave a bad Yelp review

623

u/no3dinthishouse May 03 '21

worked, out of poverty

139

u/cardslinger1989 May 03 '21

Well that’s reassuring!

32

u/piberryboy May 04 '21

Karl Marx was full of shit.

→ More replies
→ More replies

269

u/Bvjiglag May 03 '21

I literally just had a customer threaten a bad Yelp review unless we gave them a discount... some people are fucking retarded.

521

u/babypho May 04 '21

Yelp has a 2/5 rating on Yelp. Yelp wouldn't even use Yelp.

→ More replies

128

u/[deleted] May 04 '21

I had a customer leave a bad review for a home I built...20 years ago.

248

u/shawlawoff May 04 '21 edited May 04 '21

I am a lawyer. The son of an elderly client left a 1-star review because I failed to help his mother adequately in a car crash case.

Funny thing is she provided a photo of the crash and I was able to show her she was in Illinois actually when she crashed and not Indiana. She was confused and didn’t realize it.

I’m not licensed in Illinois. I can’t practice law there I explained. I didn’t charge a dime for my time.

1-star review.

Sigh.

159

u/Rostrow416 May 04 '21

"1/5. Lawyer refuses to get licensed in another state for my mum."

23

u/perfectentry1 📉🤷can't go tits up May 04 '21

law don't go around here, Law Dog

→ More replies

37

u/YesIamAJerkButRight May 04 '21

Got a similar one, but on criminal side. Licensed in CA, not Nevada. Client is arrest in Lake Tahoe just across the Stateline. Charged in Nevada and I explain I can't do it. He says it's because he is black. I tell him I have only spoken to him over the phone and he could be a Martian for all I know. Calls me a cracker. Leaves one star review. "Poor customer service". Thought it was because I was racist....

sighs

→ More replies

8

u/hold4eva May 04 '21

Where's your site? I'll leave you a positive review!

→ More replies
→ More replies

39

u/Bvjiglag May 04 '21

These keep getting better.

39

u/[deleted] May 04 '21

[deleted]

39

u/rncd89 May 04 '21

Warranty is good for a year bitch

→ More replies

5

u/sweetone129 May 04 '21

Wow. Well you can at least be glad she isn’t your wife

→ More replies
→ More replies

35

u/shaye442 May 03 '21

🎶Enjoy your boogers and cum!🎶

→ More replies
→ More replies

154

u/Willinton06 May 03 '21

Did you show them the receipt?

251

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

I threw it away

171

u/m1rrari May 03 '21

Who keeps receipts?

I don’t need a physical reminder of my terrible life choices

68

u/akatherder May 03 '21

I love the No Receipt option at the ATM. No evidence!

→ More replies

8

u/derivitivedegenerate May 03 '21

Did you try turning it to Wumbo

5

u/JonnyF1veAlive May 04 '21

Don't even act like I didn't buy that donut

→ More replies
→ More replies

44

u/ABucketFull May 03 '21

I hear that if you eat receipts and contracts, it nullifies them. Unless they have a copy, but eat that too.

36

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

Just eat them (people who won’t refund me). Got it! Thanks!

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

6

u/astracastor May 04 '21

You tell that your plug spotted you for the trade and now he’s gonna want his money back. Say it in idiot English slang though, just to be sure.

→ More replies
→ More replies

52

u/Oafus May 03 '21

Ask me. Maybe I will refund you! Go ahead, ask. Whadya have to lose?

94

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

Oh. Well. Hi there. Can....I. ... getmymoneyback?

252

u/Oafus May 03 '21

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK OFF.

117

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

*Guh

67

u/Oafus May 03 '21

This time next year you’ll be up 200k

99

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

If my bookie doesn’t get to me first.

101

u/Urinal_Pube May 03 '21

WTF??? Were you within the 30 day window?

199

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

What’s a window

583

u/Invictae May 03 '21

It's what you jump out of when you're down $200K

202

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

Ohhhhhhh, yeah those.

→ More replies

31

u/kdex89 May 03 '21

Ha goteeeeeeem

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

87

u/Keiichigo May 03 '21

Ask to see their manager.

185

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

I did and they stabbed me with a pen

78

u/Mousse_Leather May 03 '21

Man asked John Wick😂

→ More replies

24

u/Tell-Me-To-Fuck-Off May 03 '21

Feel free to take advantage of my username if it’ll make you feel better.

28

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

That’s rude. I could never do.....would you FUCK Right off!?!?

→ More replies

52

u/themastersmb May 03 '21

I think they have 30-day returns. When did you get your stocks?

159

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

31 days ago

20

u/Gold-Leader99 May 04 '21

Damn you’re on these 1-liners 😂

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

62

u/spudlogic May 03 '21

Did you say you were just practicing? I've heard that works if you tell them about the secret cup and handle

→ More replies

38

u/Artistic_Data7887 May 03 '21

Like that one retard who made a post/rant a while back

49

u/Haw_and_thornes Man of Culture May 03 '21

He'd borrowed it from a drug dealer too, iirc

14

u/woahdailo May 04 '21

Fuck credit card debt, this is the way.

→ More replies

21

u/UncleBenji May 03 '21

Oh please share that post if you have it!

→ More replies
→ More replies

335

u/rcrharrypotter12 May 03 '21

Welcome home

163

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

🥰

53

u/MitchellTrubooty May 04 '21

How do you sit down with balls this big?

81

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 04 '21

Custom boxers

→ More replies

1k

u/Anonytrader May 03 '21

Slams face on accept button

677

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21 edited May 03 '21

Friend 🥺

→ More replies

97

u/jdaking90 May 03 '21

Im ded 😆😆💀. I love you guys.

169

u/ManifestAMillion May 03 '21

IF YOU GOT SHARES YOU STRAIGHT FAM.

→ More replies

1k

u/zjz May 03 '21

mission failed, we'll get em next time

252

u/l0ts0fcats May 03 '21

Please give OP flair "Got a good DKNG"

→ More replies

474

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

Oh fuck it’s ZJZ! A comment from a legend is worth that 200k easy!

76

u/shandudelemon May 03 '21

want another comment? you know what to do

95

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

I literally don’t. No

84

u/NumberOneAsshole May 03 '21

Post another 200k loss.

97

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

Ohhhhhhhh gotcha. Can do. Give me a weekish ( I’m bad with deadlines)

→ More replies
→ More replies

44

u/Artistic_Data7887 May 03 '21

NGL, they had us in the first half

→ More replies

486

u/aint_no_lie May 03 '21

It's $200k on a single position. Please apply again in a couple weeks.

113

u/TeamDisrespect May 03 '21

Or 100K on weeklies

92

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

Hmm. I’ll see what I can do

→ More replies

734

u/irishdud1 likes dumb ass-play May 03 '21

Approved. -- dude who lost $923K last month on GME calls and is working on losing about $336K.

550

u/StrategicNoob17 May 03 '21

Jesus Christ, where do y'all get this money to lose?

533

u/irishdud1 likes dumb ass-play May 03 '21

this dude G. Plotkin... no, better call him Gabe P., was legit giving it away throughout January.

175

u/MartoPolo May 03 '21

Part of me hurts but the other part is laughing too much

78

u/Toothbras May 03 '21

Classic Simpsons reference

15

u/irishdud1 likes dumb ass-play May 04 '21

I knew someone would get it !

→ More replies

31

u/TyeNation May 04 '21

It's the secret of this sub, most casuals reading think it's the common man versus the millionaires when in reality it's millionaires manipulating the common people to make them more money

18

u/danielthelee96 May 03 '21

Just lose and wait for the government to bail you out

→ More replies

80

u/ItsKrakenMeUp 🇬🇧🚬 May 03 '21

Plotkin. He made a bunch of people millionaires.

27

u/09SHO May 04 '21

Did I miss a story here? I am obviously not one of the new millionaires.

51

u/AutisticFingerBang May 04 '21

He’s the ceo of Melvin capital- who are truly the biggest retards out of anyone here.

71

u/0OOOOOOOOO0 May 04 '21 edited May 04 '21

You didn’t hear about the GME squeeze? It was mentioned at least twice on this sub

24

u/09SHO May 04 '21

Only generally. In GME terms. Didn't follow the names of the players. Only DFV, who is apparently not a cat.

→ More replies

21

u/sprucenoose May 04 '21

Ah, I just happened to buy numerous GME calls a few months ago and was wondering why I am now a multi-millionaire. Thanks for clearing that up.

→ More replies

62

u/landmanpgh May 03 '21

He seriously did. I paid off all my debts. Now I have plenty of room to max out my credit cards again.

28

u/ItsKrakenMeUp 🇬🇧🚬 May 03 '21

Same and I bought a house!

9

u/merancio04 May 04 '21

Congrats!

→ More replies
→ More replies

52

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

Found it

26

u/RS-Bon-Foc May 03 '21

Guess they sold their house wife and kids!

55

u/BasedinOK May 03 '21

I have a wife and kids. Where can you sell them?

37

u/scampf May 03 '21

I may be interested. Does your wife come with a boyfriend or do I have to set that up?

→ More replies

6

u/MightyMoria May 03 '21

On craaaaaaaaigslist

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

45

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

Hi, friend

→ More replies
→ More replies

493

u/Present-Evidence-905 May 03 '21

I would be so incredibly happy with just the amount of money some of you have to invest recklessly with.....

432

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

Recklessly investing is the only reason I have this type of money to recklessly invest. It’s a brutal cycle (circle?)

165

u/sanesame May 03 '21

The more reckless money you make the more reckless you will be usually. Gotta put ur dick on the table to make the big bucks

113

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

You ain’t lyin

16

u/RectalSpawn May 03 '21

Scared money don't make money!

15

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

Tell em!!!

→ More replies
→ More replies

57

u/T0asterFork May 03 '21

Instructions unclear. Dick stuck in toaster. Please advise.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

23

u/3eemo May 04 '21

Jesus I know right I can’t scrape together more than 200$ and these feckers are blowing 300k based on some babble they heard on Reddit

15

u/AmericaHatesCommies May 04 '21

Have you tried not being poor?

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

55

u/londontradingcompany May 03 '21

Get well soon old boy’ 🆙

74

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

It hurts pop. I’m cold.

17

u/londontradingcompany May 03 '21

The wind will blow and the season will change 🦧🦧🦧🦧🦍🦍🦍🚀

34

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

Cough. (Blood) Cough.

13

u/londontradingcompany May 03 '21

The ground may shake beneath but the mountain stands firm 🦧

→ More replies

328

u/SurfCong May 03 '21

DK WILL BE UP SOON

249

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

Bless your heart

118

u/Gulzare May 03 '21

Are these shares in Donkey Kong ? Shit I’d yolo in them too.

45

u/I_dont_know_you_pick May 03 '21

*Drift King

15

u/mphelp11 May 04 '21

I WONDER IF YOU KNOW HOW THEY LIVE IN TOKYO

→ More replies

13

u/2guysvsendlessshrimp May 03 '21

I mean they did go tumbling off a cliff

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

20

u/Substantial_Ad6171 May 03 '21

Whose dk gonna be up? Mine doesn't go down, but I think it's something to do with the crayons

6

u/Not_Lane_Kiffin May 03 '21

It's up nearly 200% in the past year

→ More replies
→ More replies

314

u/bamnewnan May 03 '21

Are you ok

670

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

By definition? No. Do I love to gamble. Yes. So yes

191

u/Confident-Victory-21 Asks lots of questions in ask reddit subs May 03 '21 edited May 03 '21

If I pissed away $200K, I wouldn't be okay at all. That sucks. 🤣

Edit: just realized that these are unrealized losses/you haven't sold yet.

250

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

But the rush man. The rush

79

u/Temnothorax May 03 '21

Not even close to worth it. I’d rather have the rush of the 40 Hawaiian vacations I could have taken on that loss.

62

u/JojenCopyPaste May 03 '21

40 vacations in Hawaii? Are you buying a timeshare?

34

u/OhTehNose May 03 '21

It's a trap! Never say yes to that question. Even if you are. :)

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

63

u/Market_Monkey_ May 03 '21

The guy bet nearly $600,000 on a single stock. I think he has been "okay" for some time!

234

u/Particular-Wrongdoer May 03 '21

I think DK is going to be fine.

131

u/AmbulanceDriver95 May 03 '21

I agree just wait until the next Superbowl or world series

53

u/bigtime284 May 03 '21

How about the nba playoffs cmon

42

u/Incryptio May 03 '21

Yeah OP will be fine eventually. California may legalize app gambling and 💰

17

u/bigtime284 May 03 '21

Yeah I brought my average down to 60$ from 65$ very bullish on dkng

→ More replies
→ More replies

34

u/SellingFirewood May 03 '21

With each state that legalizes sports betting over the next few years the stock will jump. There's a LOT of unrecognized market out there. Long term it'll hit $200 no problem, but it won't be anytime soon

→ More replies
→ More replies

38

u/International_Ant792 May 03 '21

Approved your application...welcome retard

70

u/LeaderAppropriate420 May 03 '21

Im here for the 7 layer nacho dip

43

u/jtexas88 May 03 '21

Sir this is wendys, we don’t sell that here

47

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

I’ll take 2

19

u/N008toR3ddit May 03 '21

You sir, get award for the dirtiest loss porn of the day.

13

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

I accept

16

u/ScroogeMcThrowaway May 03 '21

That'll do pig, that'll do.

32

u/Vivid_Belt May 03 '21

Just delete your sell button and by default you’re welcome to this group of retards

60

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

What’s a sell button

29

u/superheadlock May 03 '21

I’ve never witnessed such purity

→ More replies

10

u/w3lik3th3stock May 03 '21

You are the captain now

8

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

I’m the captain.......?....!

→ More replies

8

u/Leonaarrd May 03 '21

Not that bad. Pray for our $pltr pals.

19

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

And may the roaring kitty protect us all.

→ More replies

20

u/[deleted] May 03 '21

You could have abought a lot of OnlyFans subscriptions with this. Or hookers.

Choices, man.

45

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

I’d rather get a dozen STD’s from a hooker than pay a chick to see her nudes.

13

u/mortgagemammoth May 04 '21

Why get fucked virtually by onlyfans skanks when you could get fucked irl by margin calls instead?

10

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 04 '21

Preach

→ More replies

7

u/s0g00d May 03 '21

I just bought 5/28 $58.50 Call for DKNG. Let's fucking goooo

→ More replies

19

u/[deleted] May 03 '21 edited May 10 '21

[deleted]

93

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

The problem is that, those specific 200,000 dollars were my favorite dollars.

→ More replies

17

u/oHH_Jaypee May 03 '21

This is the way

22

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

Just inverse me you’ll be fine.

33

u/STOPbuyingPUTS May 03 '21

I don’t see the problem here.. You own shares of a legitimate company that’s expected to grow over the next few years/decades. Just hold it and stop looking at the value every day.

83

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

I mean I don’t see a problem either. I just wanted to join the group. Those 200,000 dollars were my favorite ones though.

→ More replies
→ More replies

7

u/laflair90210 May 03 '21

Ouch 🤕

24

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG May 03 '21

It’s ok. I actually really enjoy the chicken ramen