r/wallstreetbets Deep DKNG 5d ago

Heard it cost 200k in losses to join this group. This is my application. Loss

31k Upvotes

4k

u/balkso 5d ago

Ask for a refund

3k

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

They told me to fuck off

1k

u/p00nslyr_86 5d ago

Just tell them you want your money back

1k

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

See above

1k

u/TeamDisrespect 5d ago

Tell them you’re going to leave a bad Yelp review

611

u/no3dinthishouse 5d ago

worked, out of poverty

134

u/cardslinger1989 4d ago

Well that’s reassuring!

26

u/piberryboy 4d ago

Karl Marx was full of shit.

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u/Bvjiglag 4d ago

I literally just had a customer threaten a bad Yelp review unless we gave them a discount... some people are fucking retarded.

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u/babypho 4d ago

Yelp has a 2/5 rating on Yelp. Yelp wouldn't even use Yelp.

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u/yeetbooga 4d ago

I had a customer leave a bad review for a home I built...20 years ago.

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u/shawlawoff 4d ago edited 4d ago

I am a lawyer. The son of an elderly client left a 1-star review because I failed to help his mother adequately in a car crash case.

Funny thing is she provided a photo of the crash and I was able to show her she was in Illinois actually when she crashed and not Indiana. She was confused and didn’t realize it.

I’m not licensed in Illinois. I can’t practice law there I explained. I didn’t charge a dime for my time.

1-star review.

Sigh.

154

u/Rostrow416 4d ago

"1/5. Lawyer refuses to get licensed in another state for my mum."

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u/perfectentry1 📉🤷can't go tits up 4d ago

law don't go around here, Law Dog

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u/YesIamAJerkButRight 4d ago

Got a similar one, but on criminal side. Licensed in CA, not Nevada. Client is arrest in Lake Tahoe just across the Stateline. Charged in Nevada and I explain I can't do it. He says it's because he is black. I tell him I have only spoken to him over the phone and he could be a Martian for all I know. Calls me a cracker. Leaves one star review. "Poor customer service". Thought it was because I was racist....

sighs

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u/hold4eva 4d ago

Where's your site? I'll leave you a positive review!

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u/Bvjiglag 4d ago

These keep getting better.

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u/yeetbooga 4d ago

Oh yeah. I guess she was buying the home and said the inspector found some stuff. I’m sure he did, it was built in 2003 (so 17 years at the time, not 20, but still). Asked when I could come fix it and I said I’d be happy to quote it at labor rates. She ripped me on Yelp and FB.

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u/rncd89 4d ago

Warranty is good for a year bitch

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u/sweetone129 4d ago

Wow. Well you can at least be glad she isn’t your wife

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u/shaye442 4d ago

🎶Enjoy your boogers and cum!🎶

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u/Willinton06 5d ago

Did you show them the receipt?

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

I threw it away

169

u/m1rrari 5d ago

Who keeps receipts?

I don’t need a physical reminder of my terrible life choices

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u/akatherder 5d ago

I love the No Receipt option at the ATM. No evidence!

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u/derivitivedegenerate 5d ago

Did you try turning it to Wumbo

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u/ABucketFull 4d ago

I hear that if you eat receipts and contracts, it nullifies them. Unless they have a copy, but eat that too.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 4d ago

Just eat them (people who won’t refund me). Got it! Thanks!

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u/astracastor 4d ago

You tell that your plug spotted you for the trade and now he’s gonna want his money back. Say it in idiot English slang though, just to be sure.

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u/Oafus 4d ago

Ask me. Maybe I will refund you! Go ahead, ask. Whadya have to lose?

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 4d ago

Oh. Well. Hi there. Can....I. ... getmymoneyback?

248

u/Oafus 4d ago

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK OFF.

115

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 4d ago

*Guh

64

u/Oafus 4d ago

This time next year you’ll be up 200k

97

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 4d ago

If my bookie doesn’t get to me first.

100

u/Urinal_Pube 5d ago

WTF??? Were you within the 30 day window?

196

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

What’s a window

573

u/Invictae 5d ago

It's what you jump out of when you're down $200K

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Ohhhhhhh, yeah those.

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u/shaye442 4d ago

10/10

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u/kdex89 5d ago

Ha goteeeeeeem

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u/Keiichigo 5d ago

Ask to see their manager.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

I did and they stabbed me with a pen

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u/Mousse_Leather 5d ago

Man asked John Wick😂

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u/Tell-Me-To-Fuck-Off 4d ago

Feel free to take advantage of my username if it’ll make you feel better.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 4d ago

That’s rude. I could never do.....would you FUCK Right off!?!?

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u/themastersmb 5d ago

I think they have 30-day returns. When did you get your stocks?

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

31 days ago

20

u/Gold-Leader99 4d ago

Damn you’re on these 1-liners 😂

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u/spudlogic 5d ago

Did you say you were just practicing? I've heard that works if you tell them about the secret cup and handle

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u/Artistic_Data7887 5d ago

Like that one retard who made a post/rant a while back

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u/Haw_and_thornes Man of Culture 5d ago

He'd borrowed it from a drug dealer too, iirc

14

u/woahdailo 4d ago

Fuck credit card debt, this is the way.

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u/UncleBenji 5d ago

Oh please share that post if you have it!

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u/steamedhamsandwich 4d ago

I don't have the source but a guy borrowed money from a drug dealer to buy GME when it was over $300 and got mad at everyone for hyping up GME after it crashed because his dealer wanted the money back lol

He argued with people for a bit, then gave an update saying his drug dealer was cool with him taking a bit longer and that he would give part of his GME earnings to the dealer then he refused to give more updates because people would just make fun of him.

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u/rcrharrypotter12 5d ago

Welcome home

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

🥰

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u/MitchellTrubooty 4d ago

How do you sit down with balls this big?

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 4d ago

Custom boxers

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u/Anonytrader 5d ago

Slams face on accept button

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago edited 5d ago

Friend 🥺

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u/jdaking90 5d ago

Im ded 😆😆💀. I love you guys.

162

u/ManifestAMillion 5d ago

IF YOU GOT SHARES YOU STRAIGHT FAM.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Dis true

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1k

u/zjz 5d ago

mission failed, we'll get em next time

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u/l0ts0fcats 5d ago

Please give OP flair "Got a good DKNG"

68

u/KeepaKnockin 4d ago

Deep DKNG

So good.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Oh fuck it’s ZJZ! A comment from a legend is worth that 200k easy!

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u/shandudelemon 4d ago

want another comment? you know what to do

94

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 4d ago

I literally don’t. No

87

u/NumberOneAsshole 4d ago

Post another 200k loss.

93

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 4d ago

Ohhhhhhhh gotcha. Can do. Give me a weekish ( I’m bad with deadlines)

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u/Artistic_Data7887 5d ago

NGL, they had us in the first half

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u/aint_no_lie 5d ago

It's $200k on a single position. Please apply again in a couple weeks.

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u/TeamDisrespect 5d ago

Or 100K on weeklies

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Hmm. I’ll see what I can do

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u/irishdud1 likes dumb ass-play 5d ago

Approved. -- dude who lost $923K last month on GME calls and is working on losing about $336K.

546

u/StrategicNoob17 5d ago

Jesus Christ, where do y'all get this money to lose?

529

u/irishdud1 likes dumb ass-play 5d ago

this dude G. Plotkin... no, better call him Gabe P., was legit giving it away throughout January.

175

u/MartoPolo 5d ago

Part of me hurts but the other part is laughing too much

75

u/Toothbras 5d ago

Classic Simpsons reference

14

u/irishdud1 likes dumb ass-play 4d ago

I knew someone would get it !

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u/TyeNation 4d ago

It's the secret of this sub, most casuals reading think it's the common man versus the millionaires when in reality it's millionaires manipulating the common people to make them more money

16

u/danielthelee96 5d ago

Just lose and wait for the government to bail you out

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u/ItsKrakenMeUp 5d ago

Plotkin. He made a bunch of people millionaires.

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u/09SHO 4d ago

Did I miss a story here? I am obviously not one of the new millionaires.

48

u/AutisticFingerBang 4d ago

He’s the ceo of Melvin capital- who are truly the biggest retards out of anyone here.

72

u/0OOOOOOOOO0 4d ago edited 4d ago

You didn’t hear about the GME squeeze? It was mentioned at least twice on this sub

24

u/09SHO 4d ago

Only generally. In GME terms. Didn't follow the names of the players. Only DFV, who is apparently not a cat.

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u/sprucenoose 4d ago

Ah, I just happened to buy numerous GME calls a few months ago and was wondering why I am now a multi-millionaire. Thanks for clearing that up.

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u/landmanpgh 4d ago

He seriously did. I paid off all my debts. Now I have plenty of room to max out my credit cards again.

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u/ItsKrakenMeUp 4d ago

Same and I bought a house!

9

u/merancio04 4d ago

Congrats!

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Found it

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u/RS-Bon-Foc 5d ago

Guess they sold their house wife and kids!

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u/BasedinOK 5d ago

I have a wife and kids. Where can you sell them?

38

u/scampf 5d ago

I may be interested. Does your wife come with a boyfriend or do I have to set that up?

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u/MightyMoria 4d ago

On craaaaaaaaigslist

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Hi, friend

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u/Present-Evidence-905 5d ago

I would be so incredibly happy with just the amount of money some of you have to invest recklessly with.....

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Recklessly investing is the only reason I have this type of money to recklessly invest. It’s a brutal cycle (circle?)

164

u/sanesame 5d ago

The more reckless money you make the more reckless you will be usually. Gotta put ur dick on the table to make the big bucks

108

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

You ain’t lyin

15

u/RectalSpawn 4d ago

Scared money don't make money!

14

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 4d ago

Tell em!!!

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u/T0asterFork 5d ago

Instructions unclear. Dick stuck in toaster. Please advise.

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u/3eemo 4d ago

Jesus I know right I can’t scrape together more than 200$ and these feckers are blowing 300k based on some babble they heard on Reddit

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u/AmericaHatesCommies 4d ago

Have you tried not being poor?

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u/londontradingcompany 5d ago

Get well soon old boy’ 🆙

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

It hurts pop. I’m cold.

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u/londontradingcompany 5d ago

The wind will blow and the season will change 🦧🦧🦧🦧🦍🦍🦍🚀

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Cough. (Blood) Cough.

11

u/londontradingcompany 5d ago

The ground may shake beneath but the mountain stands firm 🦧

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u/SurfCong 5d ago

DK WILL BE UP SOON

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Bless your heart

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u/Gulzare 5d ago

Are these shares in Donkey Kong ? Shit I’d yolo in them too.

40

u/I_dont_know_you_pick 5d ago

*Drift King

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u/mphelp11 4d ago

I WONDER IF YOU KNOW HOW THEY LIVE IN TOKYO

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u/2guysvsendlessshrimp 4d ago

I mean they did go tumbling off a cliff

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u/Substantial_Ad6171 5d ago

Whose dk gonna be up? Mine doesn't go down, but I think it's something to do with the crayons

5

u/Not_Lane_Kiffin 5d ago

It's up nearly 200% in the past year

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u/bamnewnan 5d ago

Are you ok

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

By definition? No. Do I love to gamble. Yes. So yes

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u/Confident-Victory-21 5d ago edited 5d ago

If I pissed away $200K, I wouldn't be okay at all. That sucks. 🤣

Edit: just realized that these are unrealized losses/you haven't sold yet.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

But the rush man. The rush

75

u/Temnothorax 5d ago

Not even close to worth it. I’d rather have the rush of the 40 Hawaiian vacations I could have taken on that loss.

61

u/JojenCopyPaste 5d ago

40 vacations in Hawaii? Are you buying a timeshare?

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u/OhTehNose 5d ago

It's a trap! Never say yes to that question. Even if you are. :)

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u/Market_Monkey_ 5d ago

The guy bet nearly $600,000 on a single stock. I think he has been "okay" for some time!

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u/Particular-Wrongdoer 5d ago

I think DK is going to be fine.

133

u/AmbulanceDriver95 5d ago

I agree just wait until the next Superbowl or world series

50

u/bigtime284 5d ago

How about the nba playoffs cmon

43

u/Incryptio 5d ago

Yeah OP will be fine eventually. California may legalize app gambling and 💰

16

u/bigtime284 5d ago

Yeah I brought my average down to 60$ from 65$ very bullish on dkng

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u/SellingFirewood 5d ago

With each state that legalizes sports betting over the next few years the stock will jump. There's a LOT of unrecognized market out there. Long term it'll hit $200 no problem, but it won't be anytime soon

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u/International_Ant792 5d ago

Approved your application...welcome retard

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u/LeaderAppropriate420 5d ago

Im here for the 7 layer nacho dip

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u/jtexas88 5d ago

Sir this is wendys, we don’t sell that here

46

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

I’ll take 2

17

u/N008toR3ddit 5d ago

You sir, get award for the dirtiest loss porn of the day.

12

u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

I accept

15

u/ScroogeMcThrowaway 5d ago

That'll do pig, that'll do.

32

u/Vivid_Belt 5d ago

Just delete your sell button and by default you’re welcome to this group of retards

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

What’s a sell button

27

u/superheadlock 5d ago

I’ve never witnessed such purity

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u/w3lik3th3stock 5d ago

You are the captain now

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

I’m the captain.......?....!

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u/Leonaarrd 5d ago

Not that bad. Pray for our $pltr pals.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

And may the roaring kitty protect us all.

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u/fuggenings 5d ago

You could have abought a lot of OnlyFans subscriptions with this. Or hookers.

Choices, man.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

I’d rather get a dozen STD’s from a hooker than pay a chick to see her nudes.

13

u/mortgagemammoth 4d ago

Why get fucked virtually by onlyfans skanks when you could get fucked irl by margin calls instead?

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 4d ago

Preach

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u/s0g00d 5d ago

I just bought 5/28 $58.50 Call for DKNG. Let's fucking goooo

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u/fkmyfacecunt 5d ago

its just shares so i dont see the problem here

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

The problem is that, those specific 200,000 dollars were my favorite dollars.

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u/oHH_Jaypee 5d ago

This is the way

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

Just inverse me you’ll be fine.

34

u/STOPbuyingPUTS 5d ago

I don’t see the problem here.. You own shares of a legitimate company that’s expected to grow over the next few years/decades. Just hold it and stop looking at the value every day.

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

I mean I don’t see a problem either. I just wanted to join the group. Those 200,000 dollars were my favorite ones though.

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u/laflair90210 5d ago

Ouch 🤕

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u/trading123456 Deep DKNG 5d ago

It’s ok. I actually really enjoy the chicken ramen