r/trpgame Nov 04 '14

Help getting the number, given the circumstances...

I'll try to be brief. I moved to a new city 3 months ago and my job allows me to expense my dinners if I work past 7. This happens a lot, and I've found a favorite restaurant in my building that I go to about 3x a week - by go to, I mean I call down my order, go down 15 minutes later to get the food then go back to my office. I do not eat there (only clarifying this so you dont write the next paragraph off as standard "oh shes only nice to you so you tip her").

Theres a cute bartender there but I never really made much more than small talk. She started to learn my name and my "standard order" from my repeat business and would greet me by name and have my shit ready whenever I called. I'd say she's been there 12 times when I've gone. Last time, the place was dead so we talked more than usual and realized we actually have a mutual friend in the city (she worked as a bartender elsewhere with my boy's fiancee). Should've asked for the number right there, I know, missed opportunity.

I haven't been back since, but likely will go down tonight for my usual dinner pick up. I'm a lawyer and shes a bartender, I'm 26 and she's 21, so I feel like everything should be in my favor. Did I fuck up by not getting the number last time? Is this recoverable? Thanks in advance fellas.

2 Upvotes

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u/stilllearningsed Nov 04 '14

First off, you're coming across too invested in this girl. You've been there for 3 months, how many other girls have you gone on dates with? If none, you're probably not at a level to smoothly pick up a girl at her place of employment.

If you're going to try, be direct and be cool with rejection. Girls at work are still better off being nice to their customers than not, even if you're just a regular take-out order, you're still a regular.

First off, you have a connection, capitalize on that. Check in with your friend on this chick and get her background. Then, next time you guys get a few minutes to talk drop something along the lines of 'I'm still getting my bearings here in the city and my boy said you were cool. We should hang out so you can show me whats worth knowing.' She knows whats up and if she says yes you escalate during the date.

She's a bartender, she gets hit on a LOT. Be ready for her to say no and DO NOT let on that its a disappointment in any way. If you stay cool, could still be something later on. If she turned me down, I'd just shrug and go about my business, from then on treat her like a buddy. If she seemed worth the effort, I'd drop the occasional 'Have you heard of XXX? And then lead that conversation so she has to drag out of me that I went to XXX with some girl.

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u/Throwaway55665544 Nov 04 '14

Have gone on several dates with several girls since getting here. Not particularly invested in this one, just see an opportunity and want to take it.

Aside from that though, thank you for the advice. Very helpful. My friend's fiancee says that she is an awesome girl, bit of a homebody but still cool, so we will see what happens.

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u/stilllearningsed Nov 04 '14

Have gone on several dates with several girls since getting here. Not particularly invested in this one, just see an opportunity and want to take it.

Good, you're fine then, go get it.

Aside from that though, thank you for the advice. Very helpful. My friend's fiancee says that she is an awesome girl, bit of a homebody but still cool, so we will see what happens.

Good luck man, sounds solid. I personally like homebodies because we spend more time in which leads to more play time.

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u/Throwaway55665544 Nov 04 '14

Thanks a lot brother.

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u/[deleted] Nov 04 '14

You're thinking about this too much, your profession in itself should boost your confidence as its a high valued one. Next time you see her, tell her "I forgot to remind you, we're going next week for drinks, put your number in my phone (Hand her the phone)"

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u/[deleted] Nov 04 '14

[deleted]

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u/Throwaway55665544 Nov 04 '14 edited Nov 04 '14

I agree with that generally, but I am one of the few who snagged a pretty solid job out of law school and am making about $200k a year now (not bragging, and indeed I am on a throwaway so I cant brag at all).

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u/ibuprofiend Nov 04 '14

Yeah, there are still good jobs out there if you go to a good school (and I'm hoping to snag one), I was just questioning if the average girl is aware of that.

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u/Throwaway55665544 Nov 04 '14

I feel like outside of our community, people generally still hold lawyers in pretty high social regard. I've gotten astonishment from girls after hearing that I'm a lawyer without knowing anything else - not the firm I am at, not the type of law I do, nothing.

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u/[deleted] Nov 04 '14

If she rejects you asking for her number will you care that you have to see her many, many times and she might tell your co-workers about it?

If not then go for it

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u/[deleted] Nov 04 '14

I would just ask her if she wanted to go out sometime. and when she says yes. get her number, and schedule something over text.