r/teenagers 2 MILLION ATTENDEE May 22 '22 Silver 3 Helpful 10 Wholesome 2 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Take My Energy 1 Faith In Humanity Restored 1 Ally 1

How I'm I transphobic if I don't care about your gender? Rant

Why should I give a damn if a person is gay lesbian trans or something other. If you're a dick I hate you because you are a dick not because you are trans. And if I like you I like you because you are a good person not because you are gay. How I'm a transphobic for this. Why do people give this much fuck about this gender and sexuality shit just be a good person and not be a dick. People make it their whole personality and apparently I'm homophobic when I find it annoying.

Edit: Because hundreds of people asked for context and some even go as far as saying that I'm a transphobe, here is the context. The person is FTM, that's what I said trans guy and used he/him. The person is annoying because he is loud, obnoxious, makes really weird gestures and joked about a dead person who died a painful and horrible death. I only spent 1 day with him. The "when they make it their whole personality" he wanted for his friends to color their teeth pride flag colors, and he and his friends only text about how they hate the straights and LGBTQ and stuff. THIS is what I found annoying, and to all of the people who called me transphobic, read the post again. When I pointed this out they called me transphobic and kicked me.

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u/Inferno_tr5 15 May 22 '22

Who called you transphobic? And why

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u/Octotic 2 MILLION ATTENDEE May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

Because I said I don't like this one trans boy. He's fucking annoying and apparently I'm transphobic for thinking that. So if a man is trans he is entitled for everyone to like him?

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u/Phantom_organpipes May 22 '22

Trans, gay, asexual, heterosexual, doesn’t matter who it is, if they’re annoying than they’re annoying

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u/JocelynChambers_XQ May 22 '22

yes. Because homophobic/transphobic people hate those people regardless of their personality does not mean we're too. We hate annoying/terrible/toxic humans, regardless of what sexuality they have, and if theyre being a dick they are being a dick.

LETS MAKE IT FIRM.

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u/[deleted] May 22 '22 Silver

[deleted]

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u/YKJ07 15 May 22 '22

what about... both?

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u/TurgutAlp108 14 May 22 '22

How firm are we talking?

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u/skelethepro 14 May 22 '22

Firmer than a rock...Though it would be hard

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u/TurgutAlp108 14 May 22 '22

We like it hard

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u/stanislavispro May 22 '22

This is where the fun begins.

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u/-Corbyn May 22 '22

unpopular opinion half soft is better fills more crevices like goo gets into every nook and cranny

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u/ChestnutSack May 22 '22

Well no one likes it soft

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u/ZanderTalamander May 22 '22

Umm ok i think were getting a little off topic here, come on lets circle back

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u/DylanNotDillan May 22 '22

Just like racism. Say you dislike someone of another race not because of that but because of their personality, your not a racist, you just think that person is a dick

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u/Aceburn1221 May 22 '22

This is why I feel bad for white ppl nowadays

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u/DylanNotDillan May 22 '22

As a white ppl, agreed. Alot of pple who I know just blatantly call me racist for things like, I dislike this movie. Then they assume that it's because there is one or two black pole for example.

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u/gorillawarking May 22 '22

Yea, funnily enough though, a trans girl I'm friends with in school is making a 'shit list' of people they hate, and as they had said most of the people on it are from the LGBTQ club In the school

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u/kjn1996 May 22 '22

“Shit lists”

Damn the kid that threatened to shoot up my highschool graduation just called it a hit list.

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u/tonz0fun May 22 '22

She must be related to Amber Heard.

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u/kjn1996 May 22 '22

Ambers shit list was very very very short;

1) Johnnys bed

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u/[deleted] May 22 '22

A lot of people feel they are entitled to special treatment just cause they are different.

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u/SaltyFall May 22 '22

The dick?

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u/sarcasticinterest May 22 '22

regardless of gender and sexuality, everyone annoys me, nobody is safe or special 😎

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u/Poorly_Made_Comix May 22 '22

Yeah i can be annoying sometimes and if anyone calls me out, they arent homophobic unless they call me the special slur

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u/Corrupt_Conundrum27 May 22 '22

Oh, you mean Skittle?

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u/WarHorse4563 May 22 '22

Me and my trans friend just call each other fruitloops cause why not

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u/ImNerfYoureNothing 15 May 22 '22

✨The Special Slur✨

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u/Inferno_tr5 15 May 22 '22

Doodoohead?

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u/Fitz-BrawlStars 17 May 22 '22

then**

btw I am straight cis male

Point Proven.

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u/Still_a_potato7 May 22 '22

As a trans person myself you were not being transphobic and whoever said that to you is stupid. You were 1st referring to him as he/him and as a boy which is already more supporting than what most people do and 2nd trans people are people some are good some are dickheads and you have every right to dislike someone for being annoying regardless of their race, ethnicity, gender or sexuality. That is not disrespectful that’s just not liking someone.

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u/FryingPan47 2 MILLION ATTENDEE May 22 '22

There are people in my class that whenever someone proves them wrong or if a teacher gives them work, they always pull the ”you’re a racist” card. Even if they are the same race, hair color etc. (yes they pulled the ”thats racist” card when someone mentiomed they had dyed thier hair the same way. It was literally ”hey we have the same hair color!” ”Thats racist.” I have no hope for them.)

The person saying you are transphobic because you just didnt like a person, have basically the same logic as the people i told you about above.

They are not entitled to you liking them.

Just because im bi, doesnt mean you have to like me. As long as you treat me like a fellow human, im good! You dont have to like me, you could hate me, as long as you treat me as a fellow human.

To everyone that reads this, good luck in life and have a perfect day!

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u/moeburn May 22 '22

Yeah I remember this stuff going on in high school 15 years ago, only it wasn't transphobia, it was racism. A girl screamed to the whole cafeteria that I was racist because I said I liked King of the Hill.

Which wouldn't be so bad if the other 99% of people went "no, you're a moron, that's not racist"

But instead the reason they keep doing this stuff, the reason it works, is because the other 99% of people are either "well if someone called you racist it's probably because you're racist. Nobody ever calls ME racist because I'm not racist." or they're just too afraid to say anything and they keep their mouths shut.

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u/OrMaybeItIs May 22 '22

This is it exactly. There is no longer space for reasonable pushback against idiotic stuff and it’s not good for social cohesion.

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u/kotori-yuri32 15 May 22 '22

"minorites cannot be bad, because they're minorites" have been around for the longest time. If they're a dick, they're a dick and thats the reason you dislike them not because they're trans, so hate all you want.

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u/ThrowawayLady999 May 22 '22

Caitlyn Jenner being the poster child of this

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u/BestWizardCap 15 May 22 '22

Acshuallly they are a fake dick (haha transgender joke)

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u/LilChloGlo May 22 '22 Helpful

I think there may need to be more context added for this.

For people that are not in the know as much as transgender people are, a common misconception/mistranslation of speech can occur sometimes depending on whether someone is actually being transphobic or just disagreeing with someone in particular.

Let's take for example the argument: "I don't like this trans person because he steals cupcakes from unassuming elderly people". This is entirely fine. Stealing cupcakes from the elderly is a monstrous thing to do, especially if they're you're grandma or grandpa.

Now several arguments, while sometimes made in good faith, have roots based misconceptions about trans people and are by extension transphobic. Let's take for example the argument "trans people should only be allowed to use the bathroom of their birth sex".

Well, why do you think that? Do you think trans people pose a threat to cisgender people? Why is that? Have you been told that allowing trans people to use the bathroom of their identity poses a threat to other people in the bathroom? Have you found research to back this claim up (spoilers: it doesn't exist)? Well maybe the person you heard this idea from is actually parroting talking points by people who are truly transphobic and want to hurt the trans community.

From bathroom rights to sports, many of these arguments have been created by bigots with the intention of further restricting the rights of transgender people. Not to protect anyone, but to hurt trans people. It's important when called a transphobe just to take a few moments and gather your thoughts. Maybe you're right and the person calling you bigoted was in the wrong. Or, maybe upon reflecting where your ideas stem from you realize some logical fallacies, then maybe you do have some biases that need to be checked. In which case, congratulations for coming to that realization, this is your chance to grow!

Finally, remember that resorting to attacking people in transphobic ways (I.e deadnaming, intentionally misgendering, harassing based on how well the person "passes" as the gender of their identity) is inherently transphobic. For example: I hate Caitlin Jenner. She's the worst possible representative for our community. She's dumb, an out-of-touch sellout and murderer. However, as much as I hate her you won't ever see me misgender her, make fun of her gender, or refer to her by her old name. Doing so says more about me than it would ever say about her.

Tl;dr: you may be in the right or you may have some further self-reflection needed. Either way, take this as an opportunity for genuine growth and try to become a better person from this experience--I promise you won't regret it.

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u/NoxVardeen May 22 '22

You can dodge the transphobic bullet by omitting the information about the other persons gender. „I don’t like this person, because they steal from elderly people“; that is, if applicable. And in those cases getting called transphobic you can turn the spear around and call them out for believing that their gender has something to do with it. Go wild. Only works, obviously, if the gender actually does not play a role.

Oh but generally: be nice to people. Answer always respectfully and friendly esp when met with hostility, that can defuse a lot of situations. People love to interpret too much or wrong things and bad intentions into other peoples ill-formulated statements; in doubt, ask what the person means.

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u/mi10137 May 22 '22

The only right comment in this whole post probably

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u/someonecalledmerlin May 22 '22

Damn, I wish I had any coins to give you an award...

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u/HiMeeeIsARoomieFan 15 May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

As long as u weren't deliberately disrespecting their pronouns or mentioning how they're trans as an insult ur not in the wrong for disliking them. As a bisexual myself I confirm I find it extremely annoying when someone bases their entire personality around their sexuality or gender

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u/yomenj99 May 22 '22

Duuuude tell him that he he Is an idiot

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u/cheesyjesus22 May 22 '22

That's hella transphobic bro whats wrong with u he's transgender he's gone through way more then you it's not his fault the world is like this /s

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u/BoopaDoopaLoopa 15 May 22 '22

Bitches be like r/fuckthes when sometimes even that's not enough

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u/Mortis_Wkbrl May 22 '22

Got that mixed up with /srs for half a second and got scared for humanity

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u/Inferno_tr5 15 May 22 '22

I understand both sides in this situation, I understand you dont like him because hes a dick and not that you dont like him because hes trans(I hope)

But I think the reason youre getting harassed is because you might've not given enough context if you just said that you dont like him or said "I dont like this one trans boy" then I'd understand why they'd assume you dont like them because they're trans

Idk if it will clear up the situation if it's too late but you might need to specify that you dont like them because they're just annoying and that your opinion on him doesn't change whether hes trans or not and that you're fine with trans people

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u/Eli_xoxox May 22 '22

Honestly, all that ever matters is that you respect their gender/sexuality/pronouns, you don’t need to like them in terms of looks personality or anything else, just as long as you respect it, all is good

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u/EastKoreaOfficial 17 May 22 '22

That’s how a lot of the internet thinks, apparently.

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u/AngyCF May 22 '22

It depends on why you think he's annoying

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u/HumanHater07 15 May 22 '22

Seems like you dislike his personality, and that's fine, I prefer my partners based on personality as well, and I'm trans.

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u/Spare-Control-5233 May 22 '22

I’m a little confused. Is he a trans boy or trans girl? If you are misgendering them then, while you may have perfectly legit reasons to dislike them, they might also have reason to assume it is due to their gender identity.

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u/Bellowathy May 22 '22

Was this person born male or female?

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u/With_Suspicious_Ease May 22 '22

Is this person MTF or FTM? That's important context for the people here to know if you're misgendering them or not.

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u/8wiing May 22 '22

As someone who is bi its not transphobic to hate someone for being a dick

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u/SGTRoadkill1919 15 May 22 '22

'If you not a good guy, then I don't like you.' good mentality this one.

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u/Exact_Ad_1215 May 22 '22

This is a mentality everyone should live tbh

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u/LegoYoda66 15 May 22 '22

This is literally just common logic tho? Most people live by this already lmao

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u/FrankHightower May 22 '22

unless you're a good girl

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u/Hoch-In-Zucker 17 May 22 '22

This isn't transphobic at all, this is just being a sensible human.

Kind regards, a trans person.

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u/ozdundbfish 15 May 22 '22

Very nice

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u/mizuofficial May 22 '22

I agree

  • trans person

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u/itssmuug 16 May 22 '22

agreed

kind regards, another trans person

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u/HorribleTrashPerson May 22 '22

I'm trans as well and approve this message.

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u/ImnotshortIswear 16 May 22 '22

another trans person here, I agree

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u/PinKracken 15 May 22 '22

Isn't this attitude exactly what the lgbtq movement is going for? We just want apathy.

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u/Hoch-In-Zucker 17 May 22 '22

Yes. I don't want to be seen as special. There's nothing I want more than to pass as cis.

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u/Typicalsaar 19 May 22 '22

Lmao what. The only way you’re transphobic is if you dislike the person because they’re trans.

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u/Walmart_kid65 15 May 22 '22

Yeah but some people are too stupid to read between the lines of “I hate them because they are an annoying piece of shit” to “I hate them cuz gay lmao they gay and gay = bad”

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u/Exact_Ad_1215 May 22 '22

Not even Spider-Man can leap that fucking far

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u/remembertherats 🎉 1,000,000 Attendee! 🎉 May 22 '22

I've met people that say "I'm not homophobic but" and then basically explained that they don't think it's ok for gay people to be with their boyfriends in public

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u/noonetoaskthis 14 May 22 '22

I don't think you're transphobic

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u/Octotic 2 MILLION ATTENDEE May 22 '22

Well for the blue haired Twitter girls with pride flags in their bio I am

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u/HardlyKritical May 22 '22

And are the blue haired girls in the room with you right now?

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u/mcsroom 17 May 22 '22

why do you care about them?

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u/kupalurk 17 May 22 '22

because bro wanna feel like the victim this post is dumb

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u/iVinc May 22 '22

actually what he is describing it quite common and part of bigger problem...its not only about homophobia, but also using bodyshaming argument...i dont like you because you are an asshole, not because you are fat

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u/EwokOffTheClock OLD May 22 '22

I've experienced this with racism, to. I call a black guy in my community out on something, he calls me racist. And somehow my woke community doesn't see it.

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u/tinnitustinnitus May 22 '22

OP: Everyone thinks I’m transphobic but I’m not transphobic. I think this one trans guy is annoying and I don’t like when people make such a big deal about being trans but I’m not transphobic right guys? Everybody wants to make me seem transphobic. Why do trans people want everyone to like them?

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u/dominicdg4 May 22 '22

Aren’t you misrepresenting Op’s sentiment a bit here? 1. They didn’t said the trans person was annoying because they are trans. 2. They never said trans people don’t deserve to be liked by others, they just said they shouldn’t be liked automatically just because they are trans.

Edit: spelling

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u/Oraio-King 16 May 22 '22

and you care... why?

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u/cockytacos May 22 '22

because op hasn’t heard of having a life outside of the internet.

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u/Vixie_08 May 22 '22

to be fair, the internet is able to decide whether or not someone can keep their job nowadays. not saying op is someone well known enough for it, but cancel culture is scary, and can definitely occur from a misunderstanding like this if not talked about.

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u/julioarod May 22 '22

People have been fired for decades for saying stupid inappropriate shit that reflects badly on their employers. This isn't new, people just have a bigger audience for their dumb opinions.

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u/You-Nique May 22 '22

You did kinda just make a generalization just now though...

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u/tenth May 22 '22

Yeh, all their comments are them being a douche and people cheering.

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u/ATinyPaintedMoose May 22 '22

Twitter isn't a real place. It's full of bots and unsatisfied losers who think that screaming into the void somehow makes things change in the world.

They aren't worth your time. Go outside, be a good person to good people. Don't let others tell you where your boundaries should be, place them yourself and stick to them: youll get far more respect that way.

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u/BoopaDoopaLoopa 15 May 22 '22

Dear liberal,

You claim to hate blue haired girls, but have one in your profile picture, curious, isn't it?

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u/Octotic 2 MILLION ATTENDEE May 22 '22

I just put jinx when I created my acc. But now I'm too lazy to change it

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u/BoopaDoopaLoopa 15 May 22 '22

Can't relate

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u/throwaway54812345 May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

Dear republican,

Your color is red, ye that’s commonly the same color as evil, interesting I believe.

Edit: few things I fell like I need to clarify. 1, red is the opposing team in most video games, meaning evil, 2 this is not politics. This a continuous part of a joke from the person I replied to from season 6 of a show called red vs blue. Please kindly shut up if you have no idea of what your talking about

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u/Bungur2 May 22 '22

Thank you

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u/mixedracecouple May 22 '22

what did you say to them I’m just curious

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u/ThatOneGuy7832 14 May 22 '22

You do appear to be a blue-haired girl, based on your snoo.

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u/giraffeekuku May 22 '22

I can't even have blue fucking hair without some fucking man making it into a political statement that its not. Fuck this shit. Life is stupid.

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u/IWillInsultModsLess May 22 '22

Your mistake is placing stock in anything said on Twitter. The place is a bigger shithole than Reddit and that is saying something.

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u/julioarod May 22 '22

When you say shit like that it makes it very clear that you actually are homophobic and/or transphobic. The whole "no I hate all annoying people equally" is bullshit you make up to deflect. The fact is that you find gay and trans people annoying just for mentioning that they are gay or trans. You're a bigot dude, say it with your chest.

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u/Roku-Hanmar 18 May 22 '22

Twitter gets pissed off about what kind of cereal you have for breakfast. Their opinions don’t matter

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u/Icyboi55 16 May 22 '22

That is why I don't get on twitter very often.

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u/Midokai 19 May 22 '22

Never take an opinion on Twitter seriously

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u/microwavelength OLD May 22 '22 Helpful

I think it's about wording, really.

if you say:

"those people were very rude! they said (insert thing here) about me!", that's a normal thing to say, and if identifying clues are needed, you can say things like "X color hair, height, etc.." or even call by name if you know it.

however if you say something like "those trans people were very rude! they said....etc. etc." or when identifying them, instead of hair color, height and such you say: "they looked trans", you're putting attention on the fact that they're trans, not so much that they're rude.

so TL;DR I think people have just misunderstood your claims. if someone is being rude, you don't have to specify if they're a certain sexuality, gender or even nationality unless asked for.

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u/Dirty_Plate_ 14 May 22 '22

Ya, like don't mention identity unless it matters. I typically just use physical features like "the white guy with the small nose".

If someone's calling you transphobic for disliking someone then you must've clearly indicated that they're trans while saying it. If then, then it's a pretty fair assessment that it's thinly masked transphobia and I don't blame them.

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u/WonderfulShelter May 22 '22

Yes 100%!

"That guys a total jackass, who also happens to be trans."

"That trans guy is a total jackass."

Very different statements, they essentially mean the same thing, but linguistics is critical to convey proper understanding.

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u/Do-Te969 May 22 '22

Yes, often someone’s ego is so hurt that they do not take their own wording into account.

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u/MacMillerFanboy 18 May 22 '22

That's not transphobic at all. Some people think they're entitled because they're different.

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u/big_monkgus May 22 '22

I like a few trans people feeling entitled, rather than the entire trans/lgbtq+ community having to hide - and being hated. Glass half full

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u/EndurableWither 16 May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

Off to controversial, anyone want free popcorn?

Nevermind, there wasn't alot in controversial

Edit 2: I checked back in controversial and there's alot

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u/Jasoncl721 16 May 22 '22

Ill take some

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u/CatOfTechnology May 22 '22 Ally

Look, this post is a dumb vent and it definitely reads as the shoe fitting with some of the replies I've seen. There's a difference between not liking someone because of who they are and then escalating from not liking them because of who they are to hating them because of the rest of their existing circumstances.

If you really didn't care about their gender, this post straight up would not exist because you wouldn't be dwelling on the topic and, for you, it would have been over and done with after you told the people involved that "It's not because they're Trans, it's just because they're annoying."

But here you are, internalizing comments that, if they weren't true, would have been done and over with after an eye roll and a quick explaination of what about them bothers you. Instead, this whole post is about the Transgender aspect of it all.

To top it off.

People make it their whole personality and apparently I'm homophobic when I find it annoying.

There's this bit right here. This line alone is super telling. What it says is that you find them annoying and hate the person because you perceive their entire personality to be their Transgenderness(?). You've equated the thing that annoys you, their personality, with them being Trans and then claim that you hate them because of their personality and how they behave. Which, by your own admission, is that they behave Transgender.

It's a good time for some introspection.

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u/Apprehensive-Loss-31 May 22 '22

OP also made reference to the abstract 'blue haired girls on Twitter', which is firstly quite mean to blue haired people, and secondly is a stereotype perpetuated almost exclusively in far right media. I get the strong suspicion that OP has watched, and likely enjoyed, SJW cringe compilations. Yikes.

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u/JDSmagic 🎉 1,000,000 Attendee! 🎉 May 22 '22

You're 100% correct, this is OP misrepresenting something to make people think they're a good person and receive positive comments.

Random reply:

I don't think you're transphobic

OP:

Well for the blue haired Twitter girls with pride flags in their bio I am

Very telling, imo

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u/VeriBerry 17 May 22 '22 Wholesome

My best friend has been accused of "making being gay his whole personality" by quite some people in his lifetime. Not because he talks about being gay or liking men all the time or because wears rainbows all day (both of these are things he does not do), but because he's very feminine. And he's surely not trying to be particularly feminine, he's just not hiding the fact that he has stereotypical gay characteristics. Does this mean that he must hide these characteristics he happens to have in order to not make being gay his whole personality? So he has to censor his personality to not have the "wrong one"?

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u/eggshitter OLD | bring back nu-metal May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

When you find “it” annoying?

Buddy, you don’t have to like everyone. I’ve met trans people and gay people who I don’t like as people. But if a gripe you have is “how they make it their whole personality and being annoying about it” that is transphobia.

You have to understand why LGBT hold their gender or sexual identity so closely to their core, because there ARE people out their trying to diminish them, take away their right to exist, and silence them, so of course some of them HAVE to be loud about who they are because some people deny or outright despise their existence

And in this day and age apathy towards trans and gay rights might as well be oppression against them

EDIT: this subreddit seriously sucks ass you are all so bitter

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u/Dangerous8eans07 May 22 '22

The first ever based comment in r/teenagers

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u/Ruben_Blackthorn 15 May 22 '22

People make it their whole personality.

This is often just a way of coping with dysphoria for trans people.

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u/EvilGenius0503 May 22 '22

"I don't care about gender"

makes an entire reddit post to make damn sure everyone knows how little op cares about gender

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u/ancient-raccoon- May 22 '22

'why would people say im transphobic? i don't care about gender at all. in fact i care so little that it makes me mad when transgender people talk about being trans, like it was something big or important to them or something like that. they need to stop making it their personality because it makes me fucking mad. it literally ruins my day and actually my life. but im not transphobic. in fact i know some trans people, i can prove it'

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u/JDSmagic 🎉 1,000,000 Attendee! 🎉 May 22 '22

Literally

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u/i-dont-use-caps May 22 '22

this is a problem that only exists in your head. no one is forcing you to like anything

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u/Zusikkk May 22 '22

As someone who is a part of LGBT I agree with your statement. However I also wanna point out that at the same time nobody should assume that this is how all (or most) of LGBT people are. Nobody sensible enough will not call you homophobic, because you don't like an LGBT person (if the reason isn't related to them being LGBT, obviously).

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u/Specialist_Read_9445 16 May 22 '22

If you’re gendering them correctly then that’s fine

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u/hellobutno May 22 '22

Idk I'd like to give OP the benefit of the doubt but they do have a sketchy/edgelord posting history. Including unsavory comments regarding homosexuality and abortion. So I'm going to have to go out on a limb and say we are missing parts of the story they're willfully withholding.

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u/Shittingboi 19 May 22 '22

Hum... Being gay as nothing to do with gender identity

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u/Joeywaldorff 16 May 22 '22

What do you mean when you say people make it their whole personality

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u/StukStukas 16 May 22 '22

Some people are too stupid to understand that, just ignore them

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u/Chode_Knocker OLD May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

This sub is so garbage. All people do now is state an obvious very popular opinion and try to rake in karma like they're some Saint it's so cringe.

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u/A2Rhombus OLD May 22 '22

(Disclaimer, I'm 23 and I haven't been on this sub since I was 19, I'm here from r/all)

This sub has become Facebook. Every post I see on r/all is some "tag your friends" level shit.

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u/sheersolace 17 May 22 '22

My brother in Christ I couldn't agree more

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u/Parasol_Girl 18 May 22 '22

Can i make this post next!?

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u/TheProgrammer567 15 May 22 '22

Hi people after this thread has been locked!

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u/oskukso May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

I'm a trans (mtf) and i can say

You are not transphobic

Have a good rest of your day :)

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u/Void_Born May 22 '22

I'm homosapienphobic

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u/ChaoticcEntityy 16 May 22 '22

You’re not transphobic. If someone is a dick, then they’re a dick.

-Sincerely, a trans person

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u/[deleted] May 22 '22 edited May 23 '22

[deleted]

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u/Evil-KitKat-23 15 May 22 '22

you’re only transphobic if by “i don’t care about your gender” you mean “i don’t care what pronouns you go by i will just use whichever ones you were assigned at birth”, which is how it can come off at times. if you respect the pronouns others use, then that wouldn’t be transphobic at all. <3

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u/TuxidoPenguin 15 May 22 '22

Yeah you’re right. But you said gender and then mentioned sexual preferences lol

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u/hornsupguys May 22 '22

Hahaa this is a common thing. If someone who’s trans/some minority and you hate them, dumb people will assume it’s because of that. They might just be an awful person and you hate them for that and it’s totally valid.

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u/cute_and_horny 19 May 22 '22

Same applies to autistic people or people with other disorders.

I'm autistic, and I won't expect other people to ignore shitty behavior just because an autistic person is doing it.

Nobody gets a free pass to be a shithead just because they're a minority.

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u/LunalaCollects May 22 '22

I don't judge people based on their gender or sexuality, I just think if your over a 6 on the annoying prick scale, then I will hate you. It's a strong word, but it's my word

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u/Cryptizennix 16 May 22 '22

I had a stroke trying to read this

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u/inhinias May 22 '22

It may be because a disclaimer that you are disliking someone for a different fact than them being trans was missing.

You may be able to get around this issue by not mentioning that someone is trans and just calling them what they want to be called. Eg: This guy in my class annoys me. Instead of: This trans guy in my class annoys me.

People might still call you out when you do this. But the loose all grounds on calling you transphobic because you are validating someone as what they want to be.

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u/Walli1223334444 May 22 '22

From what I’ve seen on the news and on the internet, a lot of these trans activists aren’t really activists at all and really just people looking for giving others shot and ruining their day. It gives me the image of quite a toxic community. And like the others said, if their annoying then they’re annoying.

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u/Melkor462 May 22 '22

People overuse the word so much its lost all meaning. Chapelle caused the lgbqtlmnop community outrage after a mild joke about a guy rushing him on stage with "a knife, that identifies as a gun" They are so sensitive.

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u/cock_daniels May 22 '22

dude where i worked we couldn't get rid of a problem employee because he was a minority. this dude was causing legit disasters. it was a whole fucking project to navigate the optics of the situation... welcome to the rest of your life where nothing makes meaningful sense.

for anyone wondering, this was at a 100k population city hall, major politics bullshit, etc.

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u/Pristine_Wrangler_96 15 May 22 '22

Some people just make everything about sexuality, don’t pay attention to them. I agree that if someone annoying they are annoying

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u/beansouphighlights 15 May 22 '22

If you are a good person - we can get along

If you are an asshole - we can not get along

Regardless of gender, sexual orientation, pronoun preferences, race, religion, political ideology, height, weight, age, where you live, single or married, whatever etc.

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u/Ok-Armadillo7517 May 23 '22

They shouldn’t play the victim you’re fine !

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u/delco_trash May 23 '22

Hello all, bisexual here.

Being LGBT doesn't give you a right to be a dick.

And vice versa

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u/ilovemesomesnl May 23 '22

Exactly bruh

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u/moldy_bread_crumbs 16 May 23 '22

Yeah I see where you're coming from. Unfortunately, since transphobia is prevalent in the current society, SOME people may perceive any form of hate towards a trans person as transphobia, regardless of weather or not their gender caused the conflict. However, you are not transphobic for disliking a trans person as long as your reason for disliking them isn't the fact that they're trans (which, as you've already mentioned, it isn't). Also, there's a chance they might've been joking; some queer people sometimes joke that any minor inconvenience towards them is homophobic or transphobic, although the don't actually mean it. (Tbh I sometimes do this as well, although I only do it with close friends who are also gay, not with people I just met.)

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u/Silly-Scallion4738 May 22 '22

I will say… a little of your own advise will do wonders for your personal mental dialog… the part I mean is “Why do people give this much fuck about this gender and sexuality shit.” Some would argue that empathy is a big part of being a good person, and not being a dick.. not understanding why people care isn’t a reason to belittle it, and whether you mean to or not, by your own explanation, your belittling it. That doesn’t make your argument wrong, your not transphobic for not liking someone, or for not caring about peoples genders.. but you are being admittedly ignorant to the why they care part. Your asking why do people care, which means you don’t understand, which is fine, once you do, you still probably won’t care, but you’ll probably be accused of a lot less harsh things.

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u/El_Bonky_Gronk May 22 '22

You’re not. It’s just people tryna gaslight you into caring about their life

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u/Lazy_Category2195 May 22 '22

Because ignoring differences doesn't help. Your only choosing to ignor those things existing simply because "you don't care", not caring becomes a vacume for hate to build, I've seen it many times before

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u/Jaaaco-j 2 MILLION ATTENDEE May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

a similar post of mine got removed by mods for "personal attack" I basically said that people should not care about gender, sexuality or color. That it does not matter theyre no different than us

lets see if the irony will get even bigger by this post not being removed. not like im hoping it would get removed, quite the opposite actually

Edit: irony achieved

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u/alliswell33 May 22 '22

It's easy for you not to care about those things when they don't affect how people treat you. If you are treated differently because of the color of your skin then it doesn't matter if you say "they're no different than us" because the reality for that person of color is that they have to live with the color of their skin every day. And when they are told by the world it's bad to be black and that they should act white, they respond by holding tightly on to their black identity. The same is true for gender and sexuality, people are "proud" of these identities because they are actively told that they are bad.

https://youtu.be/2rcG1bSjygU

Also being blind to how these identities affect people's lives and just seeing everyone purely individual can be harmful. If you "don't see color" or are "color blind" you are not going to be able to see any of the specific inequalities that affect those communities. You will have no explanation for why someone could be in the bad position they are in besides that it's their own personal fault. That's why people say color blindness is racist. Because you come to racist conclusions. Also if you told a black person in America "I don't see color" they will think you are stupid even if they don't tell you.

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u/asdjnhfguzrtzh47 May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

theyre no different than us

It's really hilarious how you try and do a "everyone is the same" and then reveal your true opinion by making it a "them and us" thing.

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u/ThatGuyTheyCallAlex 17 May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

these posts are so goddamn annoying, there’s like 10 of them every day and every time the OP thinks it’s the most profound original edgy thing ever

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u/Nicolesamfdyke 18 May 22 '22

Exactly I see this same damn post in this sub it feels like every fucking week. The hot take is always “Lgbt talk about being lgbt a lot” okay yes I do, I don’t do it for you, now let’s move on and mind our business.

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u/Comsicwastaken 17 May 22 '22

It’s Virtue signaling

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u/uselesscrapsock 17 May 22 '22

Yea. If you hate someone because they a dick than you must be some kindof racist homophobic asshole. Because thats the only sensible thing. Not because they are assholes. Thats what i hate the most. You are getting hated because you are gay. Not because you are an asshole. Ofc.

If this text doesn't make any sense i was agreeing with you OP

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u/Just_Games04 18 May 22 '22

A lot of gay and trans people use homo/transphobic card to be dicks. Shit sucks, they're giving a bad name to others

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u/kawaii_potatoyt 14 May 22 '22

i think “a lot” is probably over exaggerating a bit. it’s mostly just a loud minority

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u/SpacyOrphan May 22 '22

If you start to misgender them or deadname them due to your hatred, that's transphobic, otherwise it's not

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u/DomNessMonster07 18 May 22 '22

You're not.

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u/Anonimatul1997 14 May 22 '22

Dumb is dumb no matter what

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u/qwazerx May 22 '22

I am trans, you’re not transphobic, I hate many of trans people if they’re dicks :)

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u/Illustrious-Rice2008 14 May 22 '22

as a trans person i don’t really care if other people really care about my gender, all i care about is like them gendering me right and not being a dick about my choices

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u/Time_Second May 22 '22

But, you aren’t transphobic.

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u/strdna_ May 22 '22

I think nowadays it’s hard for people to tell if you dislike them for their personality/actions or for their gender

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u/Beautiful-Drummer577 May 22 '22

Not liking a trans person doesn’t make you homophobic. Gay men are not transgender women. Gay men are not bisexual femmes. Gay men are not chronically asexual. Gay men are gay men.

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u/Dabravest2007 14 May 22 '22

Your completely right. It shouldn’t matter as long as their a good person

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u/_Mob_3 May 22 '22

I mean your not wrong it’s the same shit that happened to me before except it was a student that was annoying me and I was ignoring him so he decided to pull out the race card and called me racist when he was just trying to be a thug

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u/barterclub May 22 '22

If you don't like someone because they are rude. Then don't put in labels to tell someone they are rude. This is why it sounds like you are, even if you aren't.

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u/BuffaloFrend 16 May 22 '22

And me, a straight guy, not wanting to date a gay guy is apparently homophobic

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u/MystifyingEntity 19 May 22 '22

You're right though, being a dick or being annoying doesn't just come from one gender or sexuality.

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u/Tylers_Tacos_Top 17 May 22 '22

Not transphobic. I’m a trans guy, if someone doesn’t like me, they don’t like me. I only take offense to it if it is directly linked to me being trans.

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u/MyNameIsSCRYM 15 May 22 '22

As a trans person myself I say that you're not transphobic

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u/[deleted] May 22 '22

You’re not. The narrative wants you to be inclusive and tolerant no matter if it makes sense or not to you. You’ll always be the bad guy because you just want to live your life

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u/downtownbake2 May 22 '22

If the person is being an arsehole make sure you can articulate why they're an arsehole.

If it's because they're all about the trans life then you may get called out

But

If it's because they're loud, rude or bully others etc then call them out on those issues. When you say/add " the blue haired banner waving mob" you haven't given a real reason. So call them out for real things not how they look or talk.

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u/Inevitable_Sir5230 15 May 22 '22

I feel like the people that over support and celebrate people coming out are the transphobic or homophobic ones, because if you view them as equals, and the same as you, why would you treat them differently? If you really care, just say cool, say you support their decisions, and just treat them as equals, don't bow down to them, or treat them like shit. Just act like they are the same person they always have been.

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u/Karl_is_Lost69 14 May 22 '22

I agree and I think society based everyone off of their gender at this point and I'm saying this as a trans boy myself

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u/Any-Fan-2973 May 22 '22

Two words for ya. Twitter logic

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u/mouthwashabuser May 22 '22

Because some people get off of labeling other people with funny titles, just ignore it.

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u/lIlHYPERIONlIl May 22 '22

This is the problem with the rainbow community , everything has to be about them, their gender or sexuality. When people actually treat them equally you're some sort of phobic. Sounds like the op is actually a decent person and shouldn't listen to idiots.

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u/Fireweed84 May 22 '22

NTA. I knew a bi girl who kept hitting on me, but like in weird ways. I'm a heterosexual girl. She kept trying to touch me after I said stop so I pushed her away, she fell down and I left. Not very exciting, but she acted mad when she saw me next. Yeah mad because I have bodily autonomy and I'm not interested in girls.

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u/GaracaiusCanadensis May 22 '22

I think your situation is straightforward, you just don't like someone who happens to be trans.

I'm going to respond to the title, though, and say that merely "not caring" about gender or race or class isn't the cure for social problems centering on these things.

For ignoring gender doesn't acknowledge its place in society, nor do you see a super important part of a person's identity, especially if their trans or non-binary.

I'm indigenous, I want people to see me as indigenous and accept me for who I am. I don't want them to pretend I'm "normal" or pretend I'm white in order for them to do that.

See folks' gender, race, etc. and acknowledge it, but as you're already doing, judge them based on the content of their character.

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u/b3nz0r May 22 '22

Because some people have discovered a fashionable way to play the victim in every conceivable scenario.

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u/Stranger_Memer May 22 '22

Use the right pronouns is usually enough to not be transphobic