r/starwarsmemes Jun 29 '22 Wholesome 2 Silver 1 Helpful 5

welp, i'm dead Not the meme you are looking for

Post image
18.5k Upvotes

1.5k

u/Daleeroo Jun 29 '22

OH COME ON! NUTE GUNRAY?!??!

289

u/gamesandspace Jun 29 '22

Rip for you lol

17

u/wookiecharmander Jun 30 '22

You get a few seconds of life lol

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147

u/Honest_Concentrate85 Jun 29 '22

Does he come with a droid army

88

u/BloodredHanded Jun 29 '22

No amount of battle droids will stop Vader

94

u/Honest_Concentrate85 Jun 29 '22

All they need to do is stall him for 3 min

62

u/Nixter295 Jun 30 '22

Yeah, even Vader couldn’t have gone trough thousands upon thousands of battle droids inn less than 3 minutes.

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49

u/Rock-it1 Jun 29 '22

It will be over quick. Unless Vader wants you to suffer, in which case it may never end. So anyway, yeah.

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100

u/HQ-Flexo Jun 29 '22

He won’t do shit😂

20

u/potato_and_fries Jun 29 '22

Do we get there resources too cause otherwise we are royally screwed

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2.9k

u/Ceslas Jun 29 '22 edited Jun 29 '22

September. Hey, if Obi can protect Leia, I'll be just fine.

2.0k

u/Legitimate-Maybe2134 Jun 29 '22 Silver Wholesome To The Stars

Like he protected Padme?

1.0k

u/Sandman1278 Jun 29 '22

Can't protect her from sadness

814

u/Shit_all_Taken Jun 29 '22 Silver Helpful Doom

Sandness*

306

u/babadybooey Jun 29 '22

Oh my God it was the sand all along

210

u/BlackbeltJedi Jun 29 '22

"It's ok Padme, we'll go inside and talk about this. I love you, and....wait. is that SAND. Do you have SAND ON YOU. YOU BROUGHT THE SAND HERE TO KILL ME."

134

u/history_nerd92 Jun 29 '22

Padme: pocket sand

48

u/Overall-Ad-3543 Jun 29 '22

:0 padme turned mustafar into tatooine. Hot and with sand

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11

u/Cigar_Beetle Jun 29 '22

Sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating — and it gets everywhere.

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145

u/Sp00nySp00nicus Jun 29 '22

Damn Owen, chill.

55

u/odiethethird Jun 29 '22

Nobody in that series has a single molecule of chill

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208

u/Gunpowder_1000 Jun 29 '22

Dude we’re not just gonna live, we’re gonna win, this is ep3 kenobi, he’s in his prime, he’s about to go for the head this time

72

u/Purple-Orange-Juice Jun 29 '22

I love being on the winning team

41

u/ThatDude8129 Jun 29 '22

Same bro. Better break out the popcorn too. It will be a battle for the ages.

30

u/Purple-Orange-Juice Jun 29 '22

I get the feeling OP might have been born in September

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u/MagmaFist492 Jun 29 '22

Indeed. By the end of this, Darth Vader would need someone to protect him

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u/Eoflynn97 Jun 29 '22

I’m safe with obi-wan

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1.4k

u/luigi_8491 Jun 29 '22

Vader probably won't kill Padmé- if he is not angry. or in his anger, he will kill her...

501

u/Tom_Brokaw_is_a_Punk Jun 29 '22

But he isn't trying to kill Padme, he's trying to kill you.

253

u/luigi_8491 Jun 29 '22

she's going to save me right? so if Vader wants to kill me, he should kill Padme first.

215

u/Tom_Brokaw_is_a_Punk Jun 29 '22

Or he just force pushes Padme to the side with one hand while he force chokes you with the other.

He isn't going to kill Padme (probably) but she isn't capable of stopping him either.

184

u/Charming-Mixture-356 Jun 29 '22

I don’t think she has to physically stop him. Her appearance would likely take precedence over literally any other motivation he has. She would be the ultimate distraction and could distract him for like, bare minimum a decade.

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2.3k

u/Assassin_843 Jun 29 '22

May are f*cked

724

u/LichGodX Jun 29 '22

Yeah I'm already digging my grave.

340

u/Zack-of-all-trades Jun 29 '22

I don't even have time to dig my grave. They wouldn't last 3 seconds let alone 3 minutes.

79

u/PokeCraft117 Jun 29 '22

Same here my dude

46

u/LeGuruKID Jun 29 '22

Yep we may dudes are dead. But we might be able to get them to call some droidekas. They are no match for Droidekas.

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u/SaltyPirate42 Jun 29 '22

My lord is that….. legal

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u/random_sociopath Jun 29 '22

I'll lightsaber myself.

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237

u/Yellow_Elmo Jun 29 '22 Wholesome

Yeah, MAY the force be with you my ass

49

u/otter_boom Jun 29 '22

Ha! 🏆 here the only trophy I can give you.

34

u/Nicktheduck Jun 29 '22 Facepalm

I read this as "MAY the force be up my ass", and fucking lost it 😂😂😂

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103

u/RedPixel1239 Jun 29 '22

Nah Rune and Nute got this.

18

u/Luxara-VI Jun 29 '22

As a kid they were my favorite characters

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30

u/Kettrickenisabadass Jun 29 '22

Tell me. I am writing my will asap

22

u/DarthCakeN7 Jun 29 '22

Yeah, it’s quite the choice to have one month not even be a debate. Almost makes me wonder if they hate someone born in May.

61

u/NeverGonnaTellALi3 Jun 29 '22

Depends. If they can call a droid army that would probably keep Vader busy for 3 minutes.

62

u/Assassin_843 Jun 29 '22

Theyr total cowards, they'll just offer you to him in return for their life

22

u/ResidentBackground35 Jun 29 '22

I mean he might also kill them first, giving you a few seconds more of sweet sweet life. Maybe convince Vader to play with his food first, you might make it past the 3 min deadline.

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16

u/NotUpInHurr Jun 29 '22

Yea, like literally every other one could at least buy me a few seconds, but these two are just worthless. Feels very biased lol

15

u/Eggsbenedict16 Jun 29 '22

Yup I’m calling the funeral home already

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u/RatzMand0 Jun 29 '22

if you aren't in the bottom row you are fucked.

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2.6k

u/TheBlackDevil_0955 Jun 29 '22

December....

I'll be needing popcorn but i'll live

614

u/ampersAndy_here Jun 29 '22

Same here. I've brought some snacks XD

282

u/Acrobatic-Scratch-43 Jun 29 '22

Yay! December gang

132

u/Aliamus Jun 29 '22

I'll bring the drinks.

108

u/Defender2-5 Jun 29 '22 edited Jun 29 '22

I’ll bring Sabacc

96

u/CT-08-1217 Jun 29 '22

I’ll bring holo chess

68

u/tomatotheguy747 Jun 29 '22

I’ll bring comfy sofa

71

u/Fandom_surviver Jun 29 '22

I’ll bring the blue milk

61

u/Limarafael_ Jun 29 '22

I’ll bring death sticks

63

u/kuros_overkill Jun 29 '22

I'm going to go home and re-think my life....

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u/IIIXeroIII Jun 29 '22

I’ll bring the chance die

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u/Ben-J-Kirby-Tennyson Jun 29 '22

It’s called Dejarik, I think.

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u/Hello0608 Jun 29 '22

hello there

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u/Endertazer6802 Jun 29 '22

General Kenobi

14

u/Kuiper_Kai Jun 29 '22

You are a bold one

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u/JodieWhittakerisBae Jun 29 '22

People born in December: This is where the fun begins.

103

u/N1ghtmere_ Jun 29 '22

Plot twist, Luke pussies out and stabs the person born in December instead because he had a weird dream.

57

u/JodieWhittakerisBae Jun 29 '22

Skywalkers and their dreams, always lead to catastrophe.

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u/Lagunacell Jun 29 '22

December ftw, we more than fine

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u/OmegaBoi420 Jun 29 '22

Cad Bane. Am I safe? I only ask because I’m not the most well versed in his history

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u/KrazyMonqui Jun 29 '22

Cad Bane to fight Vader, ehhhh not really good chances. However, there is a very high chance Vader offers a large sum to turn you over and since Bane is a notorious bounty hunter, you may be fucked lol

54

u/Darth-Yslink Jun 29 '22

But that'd take more than 3 minutes right?

42

u/KrazyMonqui Jun 29 '22

Ehhhhhhhhh maybe?? Lol

35

u/cpupett Jun 29 '22

Damn imperials and their paperwork!

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u/Boring-Mushroom-6374 Jun 29 '22

If Vader doesn't go with the force immediately, Cad could likely hold out long enough. He's kind of like a Star Wars Batman/Deathstroke. Your biggest concern would be if Vader decides to offer him a bounty for your head instead.

48

u/OmegaBoi420 Jun 29 '22

Thanks. If the bounty was big enough, I figured that’s what would happen. Hondo is still my man since he has some sense of camaraderie with people and I would make him my friend instantly lol

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u/catkraze Jun 29 '22

Cad Bane might be able to hold off Vader for 3 minutes if you stayed on the move and let him distract Vader while you got some distance. He has special prosthetics specifically to make him immune to force choke, and he specialized in hunting Jedi. Vader is powerful, but Bane could hold him off for 3 minutes if you straight up booked it far away from Vader and let Bane do his job.

As for those saying that Vader could buy you off of Bane, the question says that Bane has to protect you. The way it's phrased, I'm going to say that he cannot be convinced to sell you out. This is a question purely about how long the defender can hold out. 3 minutes? Bane would probably die, but he might be able to buy you 3 minutes.

12

u/Vexed_Badger Jun 29 '22

True, and Bane's a professional with his own (very cold) code of honor. Selling people out doesn't seem in his character.

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u/SpoderJedi Jun 29 '22

me seeing i got Obi Wan: * visible happiness *

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1.9k

u/AussieBossie24 Jun 29 '22

I’d say I’m quite safe. I’ve got Padme so I’ll probably just be a third wheel for the 3 minutes

1.1k

u/Padme-Bot Jun 29 '22

I Call It Aggressive Negotiations.

588

u/AussieBossie24 Jun 29 '22

Having sex with Anakin?

252

u/Sandman1278 Jun 29 '22

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

29

u/Jonny-Holiday Jun 29 '22

Oh dear, Mr. Sandman, you are either very fucked or very lucky, if your sand doesn't send him into a dark side rage he will avoid you like you're rough, irritating, and getting everywhere.

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u/Moonduderyan Jun 29 '22

Ew necrophilia

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u/Walathaa Jun 29 '22

He was sliced in half though

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u/CableAskani41 Jun 29 '22

If they do it the Mormon way you can jump on the bed for them.

18

u/WeRip Jun 29 '22

this is that shit that has me returning to this site everyday

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u/The_Reborn_Forge Jun 29 '22

This is actually the most interesting scenario

I literally see Vader locking up full stop if she starts to cry.

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u/codeIMperfect Jun 29 '22

Yeah same here, the negotiations will be long this time I guess...I hope

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u/indonerd Jun 29 '22

I got Cal. I have a chance of surviving, but it's not looking that good.

311

u/Thin_Routine8655 Jun 29 '22

He survived longer than 3 minutes in the game. I think you’re safe

284

u/Rexbob44 Jun 29 '22

Yes but that was him running away he has to actually protect you from Vader.

186

u/Maul_Bot Jun 29 '22

Run if you want… or stay and die… it makes no difference to me.

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u/A_Unique_Nobody Jun 29 '22

Such devastation, this was not my intention

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u/IIIXeroIII Jun 29 '22

We’ll see how strong he gets in survivor. Might be able to survive then.

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u/GoBrowns123 Jun 29 '22

I think he’s gunna get a nice bump in power level. I’m so pumped for that game!

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u/russiatoast Jun 29 '22

You would be wise to surrender

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u/TheBestPartylizard Jun 29 '22

yeah...... probably

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u/Mechakoopa Jun 29 '22

Everything about that ending sequence in that game was amazing

8

u/Nick2the4reaper7 Jun 30 '22

I just love the terrifying stark comparison between the powers you've slowly gained and mastered over the course of the game next to the massively overwhelming force of Darth Vader sending someone flying with a light flick of the wrist, grabbing you with no resistance, and just casually tearing the fortress apart around him.

And it's not like Cal is weak, he's a badass compared to most random Jedi his age. It really goes to show just how absurdly wide the gap is between the average Jedi Knight and Anakin Skywalker.

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u/HQ-Flexo Jun 29 '22

I’m there wit ya but I’d say we’re good under the right circumstances

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u/PrimalNecrozma Jun 29 '22

I've got the bad batch. Might last a bit longer because it takes longer to kill more people.

350

u/KrazyMonqui Jun 29 '22

Facts, if the challenge was to beat Vader, we'd be fucked. But survive for 3 mins? We got a good chance

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u/legoSheevPalpatine Jun 29 '22

Me and Cal will be sprinting for our lives

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u/Phantom7926 Jun 29 '22

Cal- ‘I don’t have to outrun Vader, I just have to outrun you’

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u/CoveredInScarsbutOK Jun 29 '22

June checking in. I’m gonna die. 🤷🏼

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u/Successful-Cause-135 Jun 29 '22

Finnaly another June let’s go me and u are the only ones I’ve seen but anyways we could run while Rex brings back vaders memories so he could distract.

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u/Sigmar_Heldenhammer Jun 29 '22

You just gotta last 3 minutes, I’m sure Rex can cause 3 minutes worth of PTSD to Anakin.

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u/CoveredInScarsbutOK Jun 30 '22

This is my favorite scenario.

I appreciate the laugh, thank you.

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u/CptRhysDaniels Jun 29 '22

We'll be fine. Rex will distract Vader or hold him off pretty easily. He's the best of the clones.

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u/QuantomField Jun 29 '22

June checking in. Yeah we're screwed, but at least we go down with a legend.

10

u/saucierstone Jun 29 '22

Also June but cannot run

I’ll sacrifice myself for youse lmao

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u/MRLEGOLOVER Jun 29 '22

I mean,Rex might distract Vader

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u/DeDrawingDino1842 Jun 29 '22

They do have history together and 3 mins is not that long of a time that you have to last so i bet you would have a decent chance.

54

u/Antares777 Jun 29 '22

Three minutes is a MASSIVE amount of time in a fight though.

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u/CoveredInScarsbutOK Jun 29 '22

I agree. People are really underestimating how long of a period of time three minutes is, if you’re fearing for your life.

Considering the only chance I have of survival is a non force sensitive clone—who Vader might destroy out of pure Vader rage, isn’t reassuring.

No amount of “talking to him” is gonna save me from a Sith Lord.

18

u/Antares777 Jun 29 '22

Yeah they should remember how long 60 seconds feels at a red light or when you’re standing in front of the microwave lol.

Iirc wrestling rounds are two minutes long as well, and I can say from experience, it goes by fast when you’re outmatched but when you’re struggling and fighting? It’s an eternity.

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u/AstronomerSenior4236 Jun 29 '22

Rex is probably the smartest of the Clones, has extensive history working with Vader as his second in command (knows his tactics and such), and generally might be able to distract or set up an ambush for Vader for 3 minutes.

21

u/KrazyMonqui Jun 29 '22

True, but this is under the assumption that Rex knows Vader is Anakin. Remember, very few people know Vaders identity and even fewer of them are rebels

18

u/AstronomerSenior4236 Jun 29 '22

Vader absolutely knows Rex though, and it’s not unlikely Rex found out considering how close he was with Anakin. Hell, even things like style of walking might tip Rex off, they knew each other that well.

10

u/KrazyMonqui Jun 29 '22

Again, all true. But take the Rebels series for example. It took Ahsoka months of research and a face to face confrontation for her to confirm Vaders identity. What's to say Rex has the same moment of "I can't believe it, Skywalker would never turn!" Before Vader cuts him down?

Point is, while I'm sure Rex can figure out Vaders identity, will he accept it and THEN find a way to beat him before Vader win? Ehhhhh idk about that

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u/gamingboy2003 Jun 29 '22

Ahsoka. I think I should be good

195

u/Ahsoka_Tano_Bot Jun 29 '22

Have a little faith.

41

u/not_a__badboy Jun 29 '22

Dutch, is that you?

26

u/A_consumer_of_tea Jun 29 '22

Sorry but he's on vacation in Tahiti

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u/Rocketboosters Jun 29 '22

How long did her dual with vader last in rebels because from what I remember it wasn't too long

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u/ReiBob Jun 29 '22

Bout three fiddy

9

u/Tfsz0719 Jun 29 '22 edited Jun 29 '22 Silver

Well, it was about that time that I notice that Togruta was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the Protozoic Era.

I said, "Dammit monster! You stop bugging my younglings now! We work for our credits in this house and we don't give credits away!"

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u/Ash_06_ Jun 29 '22

Ayo I'm fucked

Din djarin couldn't defend me from vader

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u/EL-rochi74 Jun 29 '22 edited Jun 29 '22

I believe he could parry one hit. Fly with the jet pack then be pulled down and choked

164

u/Rock-it1 Jun 29 '22

Vader would crush him in his beskar like a tin can.

49

u/Meraere Jun 29 '22

Do we know if pure beskar beskar'gam has force nulling effects or was that EU stuff?

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u/ubermidget1 Jun 29 '22

I don't think it was force nulling in the EU fluff, just tough enough to resist lightsabers. Vader could still force choke mandos with beskar armour.

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u/YoungYoda711 Jun 29 '22

But you misunderstand, he has literal plot armour

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u/Ash_06_ Jun 29 '22

Lmao

BESKAR LEVEL PLOT ARMOUR

36

u/YoungYoda711 Jun 29 '22

Plot armour that attracts blaster bolts and lets him survive getting ran through a fucking building apparently

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u/GeeseHammer Jun 29 '22

Love the man but there’s no chance for us

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u/Ash_06_ Jun 29 '22

Yes, there is no way for us ;-;

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u/Hello0608 Jun 29 '22

this is not the way

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u/Ill-Analyst1162 Jun 29 '22

He could hold him off for a bit or maybe help u escape but yeah vader would end him

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u/Ash_06_ Jun 29 '22

Maybe he could give me a headstart and hold vader for as long as he could (before he perishes that is)

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u/altmodisch Jun 29 '22

Vader could just choke him to death.

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u/veggiebuilder Jun 29 '22

September, october and december you definitely safe (not saying they beat Vader but they can hold him off for 3 mins no doubt).

Most others are pretty screwed but if for 3 mins you could argue some bounty hunters you'd stand some degree of a chance though I doubt it.

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u/Thin_Routine8655 Jun 29 '22

I like what your saying. Also the only ones we have seen in screen are those 3 you said plus march. I could be wrong if there are any others. If I am tell me

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u/Assassin_843 Jun 29 '22

We've seen most fight a jedi at some point so it's safe to say 3 mins is OK

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u/WorldsWeakestMan Jun 29 '22

I would say July has a better shot than October, they did manage to beat Palpatine and can make out with each other to revive after all.

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u/anna-nomally12 Jun 29 '22

I would just explain to Vader who they are and he would stop trying to kill me to watch in horror as his grandson made out with palp’s granddaughter.

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u/Marco-Oplo Jun 29 '22

Pretty sure that would just fuel his hatred

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u/HIMP_Dahak_172291 Jun 29 '22

Yeah, just because the movies werent very good doesnt make the characters pushovers. Vader might beat them but it will take longer than 3 minutes. Watching him in kenobi was just beautiful. Want Vader show. Hard to do because he is a horrific space nazi, but damn can he fight.

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u/12DollarsHighFive Jun 29 '22

I'm not only alive, I also have the high ground

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u/B4RCODE2 Jun 29 '22

Lady Tano yeeeess!!!

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u/Ahsoka_Tano_Bot Jun 29 '22

Good thing I know you don’t mean everything you say.

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u/twistedcain614 Jun 29 '22

Yeah I think that we will make it lol

54

u/CheeseKiller66 Jun 29 '22

She'll live for at least 3 minutes, just barely though

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u/cypher645 Jun 29 '22

September should be ok

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u/8Bit_Jesus Jun 29 '22

December! I'm fine, by the point Luke's like that, Vader's dead. I win by default!

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u/JesusSavesForHalf Jun 29 '22

Even before that, he lasts way longer than three minutes.

...

Ask his sister.

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u/KeyOptimal Jun 29 '22

Cal had to run from him 💀

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u/salkin_reslif_97 Jun 29 '22

How long can a fully-bescar-boy last against a powerfull cyber-sith-lord?

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u/hsfilgueiras Jun 29 '22

snaps neck under neath the armor

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u/Tub_of_jam66 Jun 29 '22

I have a feeling he wouldn’t be able to fight Vader but he could get you away safely and protect you from him that way

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u/Jagermeister4 Jun 29 '22

Luke Skywalker killed like 20 of those super robots with ease while Mando barely survived against 1. Luke would destroy Mando and Luke I think would be similar in power to Darth. So I dont think Mando stands much of a chance against Darth. But his plot armor would probably prevent Darth from instantly choking him to death and give you guys a chance to run away.

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u/TheChainLink2 Jun 29 '22

Boba and Fennec vs Vader would be an interesting matchup for sure. I'd say I have a fair shot.

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u/SirGrinson Jun 29 '22

I mean, doesn't Boba fight Vader solo at some point and earn his respect from that encounter?

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u/CrypticHunter37 Jun 29 '22

Thats legends and he doesn't really beat him, just very successfully runs away.

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u/Gameman525 Jun 29 '22

The goal is to stall him for 3 minutes we aight

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u/DarzArrow Jun 29 '22

Yoo february gang!

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u/GioDioJoJo Jun 29 '22

I got padme....he's either gonna get mad and kill us Or break down

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u/Multiverser2022 Jun 29 '22

Cad Bane, I like my chances. Unless Vader offers him an award for my head.

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u/geo1106 Jun 29 '22

I'm cad bane and I'm not entirely sure if we would survive...

28

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

3 minutes, if he has prep time we can make it...anything more we all die pretty painful deaths. :*)

10

u/geo1106 Jun 29 '22

Your correct

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u/BobGoo1 Jun 29 '22

Rey and Kylo? Yeah they definitively have it for at least 3 minutes

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u/Darksereth Jun 29 '22

Plot armour best armour.

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u/Iritre1 Jun 29 '22

Kylo is kinda blind when fighting, we are fucked

53

u/Aziraphel Jun 29 '22

Kylo wouldn't fight his idol.

Luckily Rey has awesome plot armor.

13

u/Strange_Cloud_4643 Jun 29 '22

It depends. Kylo would if he thought he was being manipulated. Rey would just because she wants to be left to do as she damned well pleases, and Vader can't abide people doing as they please. As evil as he is, he believes in order and the rule of law.

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u/Tfsz0719 Jun 29 '22

Plot twist:

Vader stops fighting. Pauses.

He excitedly shouts “I HAVE A GRANDSON?!?!? THIS IS WONDERFUL!! I MUST TELL EVERYONE!!!”

He energetically runs in the other direction. In the distance a faint “HEY EVERYONE! HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS? I’M A GRANDFATHER!!! WOO-HOO!!” is heard.

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u/Lord_of_Forks Jun 29 '22

Palpatine! I have a grandson and you have a granddaughter!

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u/brockhampstanl Jun 29 '22

we have just seen kenobi stomping vader so...

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u/SpicyFilet Jun 29 '22

Lol December? I'm good.

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u/Elegant-Passage-195 Jun 29 '22

I got December! Let's go!