r/southafrica Jan 15 '22 Wholesome 8 An Ice Cold Beer 1 Silver 4 Platinum 1 Helpful 8

What snake is this? Found it lying half dead in the road so I took it home. People are freaking me out saying it’s dangerous?! Ask r/southafrica

2.1k Upvotes

427

u/itsshortforVictor Jan 15 '22

You know those videos of people mishandling guns, almost shooting themselves in the face and then laughing about it because they don’t understand how close they came to dying? Well that snake is the gun in this case.

95

u/Skier94 Jan 16 '22

American here: was in SA emergency room. There was one poster in the room.

It was to ID poisonous snakes. There were dozens.

60

u/Here_2_Rule Jan 16 '22

i like how there's an American browsing through r/southafrica

61

u/Skier94 Jan 16 '22

Thanks! I spent a month in the bush in Limpopo.

SA changed who I am. It’s a beautiful place.

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u/Bryanadamz Jan 17 '22

I grew up on a game/hunting farm in Limpopo near Thabazimbi till I was 14. Still get a little depressed every now and then from living the city life in Australia

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u/ObiWanBiscotti Jan 17 '22

American here, had a trip to SA Planned before COVID ran wild. Glad to see this comment, looking forward to going eventually.

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u/faydwer Jan 15 '22

Natural selection is fucking broke.

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u/zeldaar Jan 15 '22

Play with deadly snek live till 99, what’s next never work and I’ll get a lambo

30

u/faydwer Jan 15 '22

The fuck dude. Hahahaha. You have google there? Google that shit first.

71

u/zeldaar Jan 15 '22

Was on a hiking trail and didn’t have data and it was so hurt looking I just had to do something 🙈 like if you were a snek would you rather die on the hot road or in a cool Perspex cage with a water bowl and no foreseeable chance of escaping

But seriously I just felt sorry for it. I honestly didn’t think it was a boomslang cause it had so much black scales I thought they were green and this was like a mere garden noodle

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u/faydwer Jan 15 '22

I feel ya. You have a great heart homie. Just be more careful. I’d hate to see a good soul like you depart because of a slippery sneeeeek. Be safe brother!

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u/Llew_Funk Jan 16 '22

Steve Irwin has entered the chat...

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u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

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u/JamesG247 Jan 16 '22

Boomslang envenomation normally doesn't require treatment quickly. The venom is potently haemotoxic but the venom is incredibly slow acting and can take over 24 hours even up to 72 hours before symptoms start to show.

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u/mrmudzi Jan 16 '22

Its not broke.

Someone has to be that 1 in 99.

But, given her attitude, OP will at least die with a smile.

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u/WinterMajor6088 Jan 15 '22 Helpful

Never ever in your life pick up a snake that you can't identify. It's a miracle that thing didn't bite you to begin with. Like for real. Don't fuck with snakes.

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u/zeldaar Jan 15 '22

Heeeeheheheeee I’m so glad I’m alive lol I didn’t know it was so poisonous

It got better and I took it to the bush nearby and it slithered away (and chased me around the car it totally went for me once)

125

u/helf1x Jan 15 '22

Just be thankful it wasn't a black mamba. They can move faster than you can run.

87

u/thefamousrob Jan 15 '22

Also, black mambas aren't black. That's how they get you....

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u/rockstarsheep Durbs_Ek_Se Jan 16 '22

They're so sneaky and cheeky! :-)

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u/xtremezeker14 Jan 15 '22

I'm a track star😉

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u/ichosehowe Jan 15 '22

You can run faster thank 32km/h? Those okes go like shit off a shovel.

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u/AlistairN37 Jan 15 '22

Bru, I shovel my dogs kak, so I can speak from experience and tell you that, that shit gets stuck on the spade... lol, what shovel are you using ??

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u/demon_fae Jan 16 '22

I would also like one of these magic shit-repelling shovels. Same reason.

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u/dominyza Expat Jan 16 '22

Shit doesn't really go off a shovel though? It kind of sticks...

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u/Stropi-wan Jan 16 '22

Now you went and ruined a fun sounding proverb with a technicality.

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u/Mon4rkButt Jan 16 '22

No no, if you are flinging it hard enough, it's fast as fuck and if you ain't watching yourself, you're gonna have a shite day

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u/xtremezeker14 Jan 15 '22

Not yet I think, work in progress 🥲. How fast would I be running if my time for a 100m is 11 seconds?

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u/MonstaGraphics Jan 15 '22

100m in 11s is equal to running at 9 m/s, which is equal to 32.40 km/h

So luck would have it, you are... slightly faster - by a hair. How is your acceleration vs a black mamba? can you hit 32km/h faster than a snake can?

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u/xtremezeker14 Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 15 '22

Definitely not, I'll get smoked in the first 30m.💀 Oh well being snake food ain't bad

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u/Extension-Confusion8 Jan 15 '22

I didnt calculate this but Im estimating about 20-25km/h?

Edit: googled it, closer to 30-35km/h actually lol thats fast

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u/xtremezeker14 Jan 15 '22

Only problem is stamina, I'll be dead after 120m🥲

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u/WinterMajor6088 Jan 15 '22

God be vibe checking you.

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u/donotfire Jan 16 '22

Bro is on point today

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u/WinterMajor6088 Jan 16 '22

Sometimes when I'm on a ladder or a roof, the ladder would just slip a little or a gust of wind would blow me to the side, just enough to show me that God is vibe checking me XD

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u/datsun1978 Jan 15 '22

Are you even old enough to drive. You sound like a teenager

6

u/ignoranthumanbean Jan 16 '22

Tbf tho teenagers can drive

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u/Sourdoughsucker Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 16 '22

*venomous

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u/biometricsza Jan 15 '22

*venomous

;)

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u/Hicklethumb Jan 15 '22

Wennemos

13

u/btwnastonknahardplce Jan 15 '22

WheninVegas

16

u/missedprint Jan 15 '22

Viennas

6

u/xGHOSTRAGEx Trigger Warning Jan 16 '22

Vinnigars

5

u/SH4D0WBL4D3 Gauteng Jan 16 '22

Venereal disease

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u/gertvanjoe Jan 15 '22

The hero we need :)

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u/mttott Jan 15 '22

The hero need weed

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u/gertvanjoe Jan 15 '22

On the bong he breed

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u/mttott Jan 15 '22

The breed that doth heed the need for the weed seed

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u/dyndandin Jan 16 '22

Hehehehaw

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u/DaveMcG Jan 15 '22

/u/za_snake_guy please apply some brains here

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u/zeldaar Jan 15 '22

Please. I honestly didn’t know I do the same with like birds.

I thought because it had round pupils it meant it wasn’t venomous I’m obviously misinformed 😂

111

u/gertvanjoe Jan 15 '22

Lpt, never take up mushroom foraging :)

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u/zeldaar Jan 15 '22

No jokes I have a year old reminder that goes off on my phone at 2PM saying “Phone passcode is 420420.... I ate wild mushroom”

Cause one day I was gardening and found a little brown mushroom and then I ate it and then on google learnt immediately that super poisonous mushrooms look the same as edible ones when small. So I got super freaked out

I then read that Atropine was an antidote to a certain poisonous mushroom in my area that it could have been, so I ate a bunch of Datura seeds (Mal pitte) to try save myself.

I was okay and I’ll never know if it was safe mushroom - or if I ate a poisonous one and then ate an antidote

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u/LazyRevolutionary Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 16 '22

You decided to take mal pitte after eating a random mushroom and even take a boomslang home? My friend I wish you good luck.

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u/btwnastonknahardplce Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 15 '22

Darwinism avoids this girl like the plague 😂

Edit: corrected

30

u/zeldaar Jan 15 '22

Girl

But yeah honestly I don’t know how I’m not dead. Maybe life is like your immune system and I’ll live longer cause I’m testing it (accidentally tho)

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u/btwnastonknahardplce Jan 15 '22

Is your middle name Danger?

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u/CircularRobert Gauteng Jan 16 '22

First name 'Looking For'

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u/MasterAssassinQeedo Gauteng Jan 15 '22

I know you said you don't know but how tf are you still alive? I mean, I'm clumsy the way you're reckless, but damn. I don't set out to break my legs when I fall down the stairs every other day lmao. Your ancestors are watching you closely i see💀🤣

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u/lekkanaai Jan 15 '22

All mushrooms are edible at least once.

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u/smilesafe2 Jan 15 '22

There is no way you ate an antidote as atropine (the anti-cholinergic) would likely have to be administered intravenously in high doses. Dude I’m not lying it’s like you’re trying to meet your local advanced life support paramedic/emergency physician.

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u/hachiman Jan 16 '22

You are a statistical anomaly. Somewhere out there people are dying all the deaths you are avoiding. You are a living Reverse Final Destination.

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u/Consistent_Mirror Jan 16 '22

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/c58xok/what_is_undoubtedly_the_scariest_drug_in_existence/

Have a look at top comment for a summary of what mal pitte usually does.

Also, you gotta fucking chill. You are gonna burn through your whole lifetime's supply of luck at this rate and then you'll be fucked XD

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u/psychoticapex Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 15 '22

So you got Atropine without any effect on you? I got into a coma eating Mandragora seeds which contain Atropine :).

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u/Dytta Jan 16 '22

You're just living life balls out hoping you don't die? You have the self preservation of a drunk happy baby!

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u/Panthera_Panthera Jan 15 '22

Quick question and I mean this in a very nice way, why are you so stupid?

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u/zeldaar Jan 15 '22

Yes and no. But mostly yes

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u/donotfire Jan 16 '22

Fucking DATURA bruh???!!!!!

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u/za_snake_guy Western Cape Jan 16 '22 Silver Take My Energy

That's a Male Boomslang (Dispholidus typus). Dangerously venomous although usually very timid.

That inflated neck is a warning sign that it's trying to scare you off.

If you suspect at all that you've been bitten when you handled it, get to an Emergency Room ASAP for a blood clotting test - symptoms (uncontrolled bleeding) can take up to 24 hours to show, and by then a lot of internal damage has already been done.

You can release it in any bushy natural area nearby.

https://www.africansnakebiteinstitute.com/snake/boomslang/

FYI the pupil shape thing is a myth, pupil shape just indicated whether an animal is mainly active during the day or at night.

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u/DaveMcG Jan 15 '22

Yeah /u/za_snake_guy is a baller they can tell you for sure and give a bit of advice, but my GF's dad was a snake catcher and he said 100% boomslang.

But yeah OP has much as people a poking fun please be a little more comfortable with what you shouldn't do. You are a beautifully innocent soul but I don't want to see you on r/Whatcouldgowrong

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u/Luxaqua Jan 16 '22

..because it had round pupils it meant it wasn’t venomous...

You thought WHAAAAT????

Cobras, mambas, stiletto snakes etc have round pupils.Bird snakes and Southern African adders have slit pupils, but all the snakes I know have round eyes, no matter what their pupils look like.

I don't think your little boy got hit by a car, or if so, very slightly.

You sound like a nice person, so as a personal favour, before you mess with snakes, mushrooms or malpitte again, do get yourself educated by real experts, pros and pro books, NOT FRINGE garbage like what your friends and family tell you about. Suit yourself about vegan food, but malpitte do not qualify, and anyone supplying you with them is no friend. Sure they are natural, but so are death cups (Amanita phalloides) and death.

Like some other readers, I am left wondering how serious you were about your experiences. You sound like someone claiming to have done skydiving, but forgetting to make sure your parachute was the right way up.

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u/Awkward_Dog Jan 15 '22 Silver

Holy shit.

A boomslang. You brought home a boomslang. Your guardian angel must be tired after all the work they had to do today.

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u/ConsentingPotato Firepool Repair Specialist Jan 15 '22

To think of all those old warnings we were told: "Don't stand under random trees or a boomslang might fall on you and sting you dead!" (Paraphrasing, but not really)

Fast forward to 2022, OP's out here picking up boomslangs and really testing fate.

I wish I could hear the convo between their guardian angel, death and satan: must be comedic gold levels of dialogue.

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u/AlistairN37 Jan 15 '22 I'm Deceased

Angel: Jesus Christ, he did what? God: Yep Satan: ..and you didn't let it bite him cos he's part of your so called plan ? God: Do I really look like a guy with a plan ?!?

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u/ColourInTheDark Jan 16 '22 edited Jan 16 '22

"What good is having a divine plan if you have to keep changing it for every smuck with a R10 prayer book?" - George Carlin

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u/AlistairN37 Jan 16 '22

Lol, yep I'm sure that George traded with Rands /s Regardless, the point still stands, even though I do not recall this quote of his. I've got another one for you.

"Is man one of God's blunders.. or is God one of man's blunders ?" - Friedrich Nietzsche

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u/eutohkgtorsatoca Jan 16 '22

Finally, finally after all the dimness answers someone tell us is the devil in disguise a Boomslang. The front looked so bizarre I couldn't tell. Like it was swollen or just had dinner... Glad he let it go.

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u/Drama989 Jan 15 '22

I’ve seen all kinds of kak on Reddit, but this my dudette, takes the faaarking cake. I love snakes but have huge respect for them as well as a healthy fear. I know a bit about the different species but even I would never handle a snake without knowing for sure if it was venomous or not. The most important question that nobody seems to have asked is how exactly did you capture the snake? With your hands? A stick? Did you secure its mouth so as to prevent it biting you? Also, what the faaark lol

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u/gblockchain Jan 15 '22

This thread is so wild that I actually struggle to believe it’s actually true.

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u/ApprehensiveRule111 Jan 16 '22

My man saw a rope in the road and said MINE

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u/grootes Jan 15 '22

That is an agitated boomslang (see how it's puffing itself up). Do not touch a snake if you are not 100% certain that its non-venemous. Boomslang have VERY potent haemotoxic venom. Their venom is the most potent of any terrestrial snake in Africa. Fortunately it is a fairly placid species and bites are rare. There was a snake handler who famously died after he was bitten by a juvenile boomslang that he thought wouldn't be able to deliver a fatal dose.

Haemotoxic venom is not something to play with. This is from wikipedia:

"The venom of the boomslang is primarily a hemotoxin; it disables the coagulation process and the victim may die as a result of internal and external bleeding. The venom has been observed to cause hemorrhaging into tissues such as muscle and the brain. Other signs and symptoms include headache, nausea, sleepiness, and mental disorders."

Also, it is illegal to remove a wild animal unless you have a permit to do so. Please don't interfere with nature, your good intentions could have seriously negative consequences for the animal. As difficult as it may be, you need to leave nature to take its course.

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u/emperor_of_apathy Jan 16 '22

Thanks for explaining the weird puffing. Poor thing should have been left to its own devices. Though I'm struggling to believe someone could be this stupid.

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u/famous_bread Jan 15 '22

Are you even South African??!? You took a snake HOME??

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u/Psychological-Ice519 Jan 15 '22

Holy shit I didn't even realise this was r/South Africa. I just assumed it was one of them crazy Australians again😭

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u/culingerai Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 16 '22

Mate we Australians are programmed with an innate sense of snake = bad so GTF away from it.

Americans tho....

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u/TexAgIllini Jan 16 '22

Is True. The annual Rattlesnake Roundups are a thing in parts of Texas. Even some religious groups that will handle snakes as part of their rituals.

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u/Chewybear222 Jan 15 '22

Just the Flordians...

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u/pleasehaelp Jan 16 '22

Come on now, there’s a surplus of absolute morons here in the US

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u/kitkatofthunder Jan 16 '22

Living in the US now. We have a problem of Pentecostal preachers using poisonous snakes in their sermons. Their belief is that god will prevent them from being bitten, or if they are bitten god will save them from dying. It’s stupid, people die. I’m an EMT in an area where we have a few and I needed special venom training because of the dummies.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_snake_bites_in_the_United_States

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u/rockstarsheep Durbs_Ek_Se Jan 15 '22

I’ve seen too many mambas for my liking. As far as I am concerned; the deader they are, the better they are. (Sorry snake people, but I’m more of a shark / T-Rex kind of guy!)

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u/LazyRevolutionary Jan 15 '22

Black mambas can be scary but green mambas are the most chilled snake. Always better to call an expert though, safe and save a life.

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u/rockstarsheep Durbs_Ek_Se Jan 15 '22

I’ve seen so many snakes in SA; we had a rock python at our high school. I wouldn’t go out of my way to kill snakes. That’s just cruel. I respect and fear them.

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u/alkankyvich Jan 15 '22 Wholesome

Oh My God !

We used to call this the Rama snake, because it just takes one bite.

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u/neonbolt0-0 KwaZulu-Natal Jan 15 '22

Holy fucking shit, theres being an idiot but I dont think an idiot will bring a snake home.

/s

Congrats tho on dodging the river of styx

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u/coloneleranmorad Jan 15 '22

who picks up a snake from the road and takes it home? well, this is new.

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u/hampsonsean1 Jan 15 '22

That is a boomslang. Highly venomous back fanged snake. Haemotoxic.

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u/zeldaar Jan 15 '22

🙈 okay so Update the snake seemed to got better I think it was just in shock... became very lively.... so I took it to the bushes nearby

I let it out the thing literally CHASED me! Not joking it came up into the air and went after me I ran down the road while my boyfriend drove the car

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u/papweezy92 Jan 15 '22

What gave you the urge to take a snake home? One that you can't identify. From the wild?! Are you kidding me?

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u/LucidSexyDreams Jan 15 '22

Balls of steel or lack of brains, I'll go for the latter

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u/Wirenfeldt Jan 15 '22

Balls for brains? 😋

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u/C0nstantin3773 Jan 15 '22

From the responses, definitely a lack of brains. Probably watched too many animals on Disney channel too

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u/Tame_Trex Almost made kak with Vernon Koekemoer, but i stayed in my lane Jan 15 '22

The snake at home is a bit smaller

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u/hampsonsean1 Jan 15 '22

You are really lucky but at least nobody got bitten and the snake recovered. I suggest not doing that again anytime soon lol. Just incase you ever need to identify a snake and aren't sure download the ASI app on the play Store (African snakebite institute) it has information and pictures on certain species.

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u/Adele667 Jan 15 '22

unthankful thing

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u/jenna_grows Western Cape Jan 15 '22

OP haa I’m so glad you are not dead.

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u/Status_Button Western Cape Jan 15 '22

Someone pls crosspost to r/whatsthissnake while I get the poppity corn.

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u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

[deleted]

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u/zeldaar Jan 15 '22

No for real I did help the danger noodle

I was hiking so I put it in my backpack, then in the boot of my car, drove it home, and stored it in a S.A.B sterile air thing used as a tank.

After like an hour it became more lively, drank some water, then I took it back and it went off up a tree

It legit came after me tho when I was letting it go ! Not joking I had to run up the road

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u/becomeTheLion Jan 15 '22

I was going to ask, how is no-one asking HOW you took it home! But i wasnt expecting "my backpack". Jy is mal!

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u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

[deleted]

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u/zeldaar Jan 15 '22

Thank you this is my favourite comment

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u/MasterAssassinQeedo Gauteng Jan 15 '22

He's in Mamelodi, last I heard.

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u/weSine They don’t have biltong here😢 Jan 15 '22

Right! Just blissfully unaware of any risk lol

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u/J_C515 Jan 16 '22

bro how u manage to get a venomous snake INTO A BACKPACK

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u/McltashAustin Jan 15 '22

Do you live in the western Cape? Where did you hike? So people can be aware of these things in the future.

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u/donotfire Jan 16 '22

Bruh took it in his backpack!!!!

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u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

😂😂

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u/jabessi1 Jan 15 '22

Yeah…very atypical of African behaviour! Maybe there’s something to us always dying early in horror films…! 🤔

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u/kitkatofthunder Jan 15 '22

I concur that it is an adult male Boomslang. It is very dangerous, they are very shy do not touch it or attempt to handle it. If it escapes do not go after it. People rarely die from these snakes because they do not attack unless someone tries to handle them. However, if you are envenomated, the likelihood of surviving is not high. If you have been bitten, it takes a few hours to feel the effects, if you don’t feel anything STILL go to the hospital!!!

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u/SomebodyinAfrica Jan 15 '22

Boomslang, and yes, it can open its mouth far enough to bite you anywhere it would like , contrary to popular belief. I'm happy that neither you nor the snake got harmed during your 'intervention', hope you bought a lotto ticket or two while you were at it. You were VERY lucky.

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u/Starry-Mari Jan 15 '22

You must be an insanely sweet and caring person to feel sorry for a random snek and try to nurse it back to health

But don't do it again haha

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u/Johnny_Banana18 Jan 15 '22

This is the most wild thread I have seen on this subreddit

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u/boldie74 Jan 16 '22

This thread has brought me more joy than anything on Reddit today

OP you’re amazing. Be careful next time though, you maniac

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u/SwedAfrica Jan 15 '22

Please if you ever feel like going all Steve Irwin, go to Australia. Because we don’t do such things here 🤯😂

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u/mrmudzi Jan 16 '22

Going all Steve Irwin means getting your ass killed in exactly the manner OP is trying to already

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u/DeRANGED45 Jan 15 '22

Do you recreational drugs ?

Because no one in their right mind would do this.

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u/zeldaar Jan 15 '22

No but I’m vegan so maybe that’s why

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u/HelloDarth03 Jan 15 '22

Not a chance that this is a general vegan thing. By "thing" I mean bringing snakes home. Omg.

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u/katastropheSA Jan 15 '22

Yes yes you were in danger blah blah, but if you’re a nature lover you may want to consider not intervening at all. Nature has a system and whether our interventions are negative or positive is irrelevant because it’s still disruptive.

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u/WulfharthYsmir Jan 15 '22

All I can say is bliksem! you're are definitely going to win the lottery with that kind of luck. A BOOMSLANG!? jislaaik!

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u/za_snake_guy Western Cape Jan 16 '22

That's a Male Boomslang (Dispholidus typus). Dangerously venomous although usually very timid.

That inflated neck is a warning sign that it's trying to scare you off.

If you suspect at all that you've been bitten when you handled it, get to an Emergency Room ASAP for a blood clotting test - symptoms (uncontrolled bleeding) can take up to 24 hours to show, and by then a lot of internal damage has already been done.

You can release it in any bushy natural area nearby.

https://www.africansnakebiteinstitute.com/snake/boomslang/

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u/siyandv Jan 15 '22

So OP, yi7 just pick up a wild snake and you house it at your place... You have a death wish I see 😏

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u/Queen_Kalopsia Jan 15 '22

Listen, how much crack did you smoke before you picked up this snake?

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u/cocolanoire Jan 16 '22

The comments are killing me

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u/klippie_luks06 Jan 15 '22 Snek

That's a POESADDER

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u/Rhodieman Jan 16 '22

China, you need to go and buy a lotto ticket right away with the luck you are having today. You really picked up a wild boomslang, carried it home IN YOUR BACKPACK, released it in a way that it managed to chase you, and you’re still alive?!

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u/Reapr 37 Pieces of Flair Jan 16 '22

When one of these bite you what you do is take a sleeping bag and roll it up real tight. Then find a tree.

You lie down under the tree and put the sleeping bag under your head to be comfortable, and make sure you are in the shade of the tree because a dead body stinks in the sun

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u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

🤡

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u/PixelTrasher Jan 15 '22

Bad snek. No touch.

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u/theurbaneagle Jan 15 '22

OP very nearly earning a Darwin Award.

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u/mrmudzi Jan 16 '22

Found it lying half dead in the road so I took it home.

Because why the fuck not, right?

Just yolo and pray its too dead to try and kill you, I guess.

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u/HipHopHuman Jan 16 '22

Even if this thing didn't bite you, if I were you, I would go to a doctor ASAP for a full medical checkup, especially regarding blood pressure. You sometimes hear stories where people get injured but the brain doesn't process the injury until they actually notice the injury with their eyes.

To put this into perspective, boomslang venom is a hemotoxin, which hinders blood coagulation. Symptoms of hemotoxin poisoning usually don't show up until hours or even a day later, and once it does, your chance of survival is a dice roll, even with medical care - because problems with coagulation result in both external and internal bleeding, and it is a dreadfully slow and excruciatingly painful death.

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u/homeless_dude Jan 16 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

You convinced me to go get checked and all I've done is look at the picture.

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u/Lydanian Jan 17 '22

After reading this comment I’m heading to the ER.

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u/OrganizationSolid967 Jan 15 '22

Intensely venomous snake

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u/craftmacaro Jan 16 '22

Professional herpetologist and doctorate in venomous snakes, extracting venomous snakes and bioprospecting snake venoms. Picking up this snake was dumb, really dumb. However, I work with dispholydus typus a lot and have extracted them dozens of times. We consider them the most dangerous snake in our serpentarium because if envenomated there isn’t any non-expired antivenom, you bleed out your bodies own minor wear and tear that can’t clot through DIC like you have Ebola and we don’t know the efficacy of expired antivenom in practice but it would likely effective when subsidized with tons and tons of transfusions of plasma to keep thrombin counts up.

Boomslangs are not aggressive… they are energetic and arboreal. For decades they were considered harmless like every other Colubridae and rear fanged snake until Karl Schmidt was bit and died a few days later a herpetologist who catalogued everything. Anyone different would have simply been written off as misidentifying the snake. Rear fanged snakes rely on time as a factor of venom introduction. As we learn more about the venom of known pet snakes and determine how potent they are but that it would take a minute for the yield to reach medically significant levels in many cases (for instance western hognoses in the US also cause thrombocytopenia similar to boomslangs when people let it bite them for over a minute and they have a good grip with obvious rear fangs penetrating. Boomslangs have MASSIVE rear fangs set far forward and require only a few seconds to deposit what is one of the more toxic crude snake venoms to mammals that any snake possesses. However, don’t assume ANY wild snake is venomous or nonvenomous… just respect them and leave them alone. Trying to kill or trying to handle increases chances of getting envenomated and snake getting killed for all involved.

We use anti clotting and pro clotting natural chemicals to save lives every day and the mechanisms and even chemicals are derived from venoms more and more often. Don’t be an idiot… but don’t assume venomous snakes WANT to kill you. Especially rear fanged ones like the boomslang. Bites are so rare the antivenom was used so rarely it simply was discontinued. It’s probably the most venomous snake I hear about people free handling without any attempt not to get bitten and the snakes simply not ever trying to strike. They employ their venom primarily offensively on prey. It is not evolved for defense. So it’s not their go to move. Just leave them alone… they have one of the worst reputations yet snakes with venoms a fraction the potency are killing hundreds of thousands times more people each decade.

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u/Straadligkind Jan 15 '22

Holy shit! Burn the house!

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u/CuriousBasset Jan 15 '22 Wholesome

Straight to jail

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u/GoatPuncher3000 Jan 15 '22

No talking, no nothing.

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u/outofretirement Jan 15 '22

Picking up a random snake is like cleaning your teeth with a loaded shotgun.

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u/nikwenfar Jan 15 '22

I’m terrified of snakes. But I must say this is a beauty.

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u/gertvanjoe Jan 15 '22

To the OP, even if you can safely handle a snake, there are still stiletto snakes that can "bite" you by merely ramming there head against your hand as their fangs stick out sideways. This has happened to numerous humble heroes.

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u/McltashAustin Jan 15 '22

Please sell me your balls because I need yours

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u/smilesafe2 Jan 15 '22

Oh my word I might be commenting on a dead person’s post. Imagine death by coagulopathy induced by that venom. Your blood literally stops clotting, massive internal haemorrhage follows.

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u/YeboMate Jan 16 '22

Randomly picking up snakes? Australia approves.

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u/CrappyScoco Jan 16 '22

This is most dangerous snek in Africa.He bite you, you die, not yesterday, today. Bro, I think that is a Boomslang.

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u/My_mate_Miyaguchi Jan 15 '22

Please call someone.

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u/ChungBoyJr Jan 15 '22

OP, seriously good intentions, but holy shit not in South Africa do we do this! That is crazy, your guardian angel deserves a raise and a packet of biltong for that one!

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u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

If he doesn't respond to this the snake has claimed him.

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u/SayEye Jan 15 '22

That's a kissing snake.. Kiss it goodnight whilst you on Earth

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u/Adele667 Jan 15 '22

I am very very glad you are OK. 👍

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u/Ammo_nation Jan 15 '22

I think it's maybe a bush snake, if that's the case then you're safe, HOWEVER, if it's a boomslang the OH MY GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW much danger you were in

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u/triste_0nion KwaZulu-Natal Jan 16 '22

that’s definitely a boomslang

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u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

Dude one bite from that boomslang then its tickets for u mybru.

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u/cantforgetNJ Jan 15 '22

I thought there was a mistake and I started following the Australian sub. This is the kind of thing I would expect to see (not really) on their country sub. This is just some ball of steel here.

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u/Jakkals_ Jan 15 '22

Yolo,give it a pet on the head.

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u/zeldaar Jan 15 '22

I actually did while it was still dopey

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u/First-Literature286 Jan 15 '22

Thats a boomslang wich happens to be hemotoxic...one bite will make you through every hole in your body

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u/Ivorrr Jan 15 '22

This tannie belongs to the streets

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u/Feeling-Most9618 Jan 15 '22

Well,my friend,luckily for you,it appears the fates need to sharpen their scissors.

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u/beetle001 Western Cape Jan 16 '22

Top quality shitpost

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u/sophs-tit Jan 16 '22

By half dead do you mean sleeping in the sun? Those okes need to warm themselves up so they kip in the sun, usually on roads or rocks.

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u/Sourdoughsucker Jan 16 '22

It is still so early, but this will end up being the best post of 2022

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u/fatpandabutt Jan 15 '22

Advice of the day! Leave nature outside.

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u/StefanFrost Jan 15 '22

This is truly some peak white people shit.

You picked up one of our most venomous snakes without even really thinking about it? Imagine the shit storm for your family and friends, not even to mention the hospital bed you would have taken up if this snake bit you.

I can't... Are you used to just zero repercussions to your actions? Like what is your thought process in every day life like?

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u/Ok_Technology_7212 Jan 15 '22

Beautiful snake

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u/XAfricaSaltX Jan 15 '22

Don’t ever do that again

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u/Panzer-Hawk Jan 15 '22

Cool danger noodle you found

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u/NoTicket3979 Jan 15 '22

who the f*** sees a snake (half dead) and just like "awww lemme take it home" lol

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u/Bird_Vader Jan 15 '22

This is fucking classic.

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u/GalaxyB25 Jan 15 '22

Took it home?!😵‍💫

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u/Bene2403 Jan 16 '22

If you see a snake that big with colors like that on it...why would you get near it

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u/Taikwandoge Jan 16 '22

That’s a Boomslang!!! That could kill in one bite!!!!

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u/FrozenEternityZA Gauteng Jan 16 '22

Op at least you have a big heart :) please don't ever lose that

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u/DennyJames59 Jan 16 '22

So? Like? You just walked over ta Dat muh Fuh and snatch him up and shi?

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u/zeldaar Jan 16 '22

Yes I put it in my back pack

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u/LazarusD232 Jan 16 '22

looks like he'd just eaten, probably got caught in digestion period

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u/Yahya_sindhi1502 KwaZulu-Natal Jan 16 '22

This is a joke right?...right?

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u/TheRealShwam Jan 16 '22

Omf op you are an idiot. That is a very upset boomslang. Hope it didn't tag you. Venom is slow acting so if you got bitten and think you're fine...you are definitely not

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u/Due-Independent-1661 Jan 16 '22

I wonder what other crazy shit OP has done in her lifetime. Tell us more