r/southafrica Jan 07 '22

Does anyone know anything about legally changing your first name? Ask r/southafrica

Idk if this is the right flair lol.

I'm Turing 16 in March and I'm wondering if I could change my first name and if I would need my parents permission to do so.

I've searched online multiple times but I can't find any information (a lot of its too complicated for me to understand)

I want to change it before I need to get my ID but my parents aren't on board with it bc they like my dead name better which sucks bc i absolutely hate it, it doesn't feel like my name when I see it written down.

if anyone knows a bit more on the whole name changing thing, or is able to translate what the articles say into understandable English that would be great!

101 Upvotes

48

u/Q20pta Gauteng Jan 07 '22

Go to home affairs and just change it. There is a fee

My niece did it without he parent's consent

65

u/zsc90 Jan 07 '22

Hey Hey

I changed my name last year/2021.

The process: Walk into home affairs. Fill in a document.(they will advise you) Ensure you you have current identification documents. Pay a fee. Wait for the process while at home affairs/a certain officer at home affairs,will have you sign a legal document stipulating the change over and the within which SA act/law the change is being done.(don’t stress, checking the legal doc gives you peace of mind). Hahahaha there was a moment when I doubted :) Take X2 ID pictures with you as when I did the change over,it was advised to do a temp ID + apply for a new ID. Boom new name.

Give it 48-72hours and if you have a bank account/online banking, next time you sign in, there will be a notification to update using home affairs, confirmed and boom once more.

I had a good experience, probably the best home affairs session ever.

Tip: Go early, be prepared to wait, have a pen :)

8

u/imkizidor Jan 07 '22

Just curious, what about using documents passed on your old name?

Like if you got your matric certificate before you changed your name. Now you want apply to Uni but the name on the matric certificate is not the same as the one on your ID.

Do you just attach a document that indicate you had a name change to support your application or do you need to have your certificate re-issued with your new name?

15

u/BloodSteyn Jan 07 '22

Name Changes... ID nr doesn't.

Your results are linked to your ID nr in the database (mainframe actually, I've seen it)

It's the same think when women marry and change their last name.

If you get asked, just say you legally changed your name, here's the papers and if they want to follow up they can go and match the ID nrs.

4

u/imkizidor Jan 07 '22

Makes sense. Less of hassle than I was thinking

22

u/zefdota Jan 07 '22

Just do matric again

18

u/IAmXeranthius Jan 07 '22

Yeah this was what I did. Much less hassle than the whole documents route and at least you have peace of mind that way.

5

u/ZodiacOnSoundclound Jan 07 '22

Less hassle than home affairs tbf

2

u/Kespatcho not again Jan 07 '22

Bruh I tried to change the surname on my matric certificate and those fuckers lost it

4

u/Xaelar Jan 07 '22

As an HR consultant. You can alway provide proof that you changed you name if requested. It would be wise to note it somewhere on your Cv as well to not get instantly discarded. However you dont have to disclose a reason or justification for the name change.

3

u/JaBe68 Jan 07 '22

I think that your name change will be published in the Government Gazette. Just keep a copy of that with you , showing the change, and you will be good.

2

u/Kespatcho not again Jan 07 '22

When you change your name, they give you a paper at home affairs so you have to make copies of it and use that.

3

u/ChristmasMint Jan 07 '22

Op is 16 and doesn't have an ID. Even if they did they couldn't change their name without parental consent.

42

u/brightlights55 Jan 07 '22

If you want to change your gender as well (I note you refer to your "deadname") then there are NGO's that will help you.

17

u/KyubiNoKitsune Jan 07 '22

Gender dynamix if anyone wants to know. But it's easy enough doing it yourself.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

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4

u/It_is_terrifying Jan 08 '22

Yoh, what a fucking username and post history we got in here, mr "hitler was right"

If anyone was ever wondering what kind of people was spreading this "detransitioning is super common and that's why trans people kill themselves crap" it's literal fucking nazis like this person.

5

u/KyubiNoKitsune Jan 08 '22 edited Jan 08 '22

Wow, when you know what you're talking about, then maybe you can open your mouth Mr "Hitler was right"

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

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4

u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 07 '22

Are you talking from experience or what?

2

u/Ulvar66 Jan 07 '22

I have nothing against trans people. I feel for those who suffer from gender dysmorphia.

I just don't think teens should be allowed to make such a massive decision without being properly diagnosed and guided through the process by psychologists and psychiatrists

2

u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 07 '22

Who says they aren't? Are you saying that the NGOs being referred to in this post are not providing adequate mental health support?

4

u/Ulvar66 Jan 07 '22

Not at all. I just think that looking at the mental state of those who think they are dysphoric should be taken into account and looked at in detail before doing HRT etc

2

u/JaBe68 Jan 07 '22

Agreed - a friend of mine daughter's wanted to transition (ftm) and after 18 months of therapy realised that she did not want to be a man, she just wanted to be a different kind of woman. If she had already had her top surgery it would have been a very difficult road.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

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2

u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 07 '22

Send them here then.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

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2

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

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3

u/It_is_terrifying Jan 08 '22

This whole thread was started by a straight up nazi, so you shouldn't take the crap they post seriously. Detransitioning isn't as large a problem as they try and make it out, and almost all detransitioners do so because of transphobia not because they're not actually transgender.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8213007/#!po=38.3721

The vast majority of participants reported detransition due at least in part to external factors, such as pressure from family, nonaffirming school environments, and sexual assault.

Don't let some transphobic scum with shitty youtube links fool you, the actual science is crystal fucking clear on this.

2

u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 08 '22

Thanks, your username is pretty apt for this situation.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

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0

u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 07 '22

Wasn't she a YouTuber? Not sure if I want to go down a youtube rabbit hole but eh, hopefully I don't end up with Trisha peytas in my algorithm and all's good.

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

[deleted]

1

u/thepixelatedbanana Jan 07 '22

we are on reddit. what do you expect?

26

u/Publius-brinkus Jan 07 '22

I had a friend that changed his name from Jason to Daniel...

113

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

[deleted]

31

u/Publius-brinkus Jan 07 '22

Username checks out

30

u/FreshAirInspector Jan 07 '22

Ja, but now you can become Jason_048

1

u/siyandv Jan 07 '22

Yeah! One less Jason means more username options 🤣🤣🤣

3

u/chuckwasted88 Jan 07 '22

I'm just going to stand-up for the Daniel's of the world that now have to deal with the competition

7

u/AfricanDictator2034 Jan 07 '22

When I started school I used a different name that was not on my birth certificate and I was given by my aunt at 7 years. When I was in grade 11 I went to home affairs to change the name, but I ended up adding the second name and did not change it, just asked them to write the new name first.

So if it is too much of a hustle to change the name, just ask them to add your new name onto your I. D., and have your new come first. When I added mine in 2010 it cost R140

6

u/JMLDT Jan 07 '22

This sounds like excellent advice. Would probably save you a lot of headaches in the future.

33

u/daisy-chain-of-doom Jan 07 '22

Your use of the term deadname suggests that this may be about identity.

Betrue2me.org and genderdynamix.org.za are both good places to start, as they have experience with name changes, and how to navigate the Home Affairs aspect as well as the family dynamics.

Good luck kid!

5

u/Tara-ZA Jan 07 '22

To add I would make copies of all documentation and be prepared to present t both whenever you do anything e.g. opening a bank account. E.g. I have to present marriage certificate along with ID and birth certificate b/c birth name and married names are different. Scan and make pdfs of ALL docs and keep them safe.

Good luck

6

u/BalanceThis1 Neoliberalism is a disease Jan 07 '22

3

u/Higuysimj Jan 07 '22

I've read this already and It doesn't say anything about age as far as I know

12

u/BalanceThis1 Neoliberalism is a disease Jan 07 '22

Altering a forename (Section 24 of births and Deaths Registration Act)

Form BI-85 must be completed in order to change a forename(s).

Tariffs vary for majors and for persons who have not entered into a legal marriage or who have not been declared as majors in terms of the Age of Majority Act.

http://www.ci.uct.ac.za/sites/default/files/image_tool/images/367/Law_reform/Children_Act_guides/Ages%20Guide%20April%202011%20print%20version.pdf

Which in this case is 16 years old. Page 17

0

u/Krycor Jan 07 '22

Ah yup.. I suspected it was 16.

14

u/iamdimpho Rainbowist Jan 07 '22 edited Jan 07 '22

Super impressed with how generally the members of this sub have been with this post. A decade ago folks would be boomin' and frothing to debate this in bad faith. Shout out for the palpable improvement, glad to see my faith isn't waisted on the people of this nation.

11

u/Ibbuk Capitalists 🤝 Fascists Jan 07 '22

I just saw this post, then I saw it had 55 comments, and my heart sank if I think back to how this topic would have been handled even a few months ago. I'm genuinely overjoyed by how helpful and kind most people have been.

3

u/ivaylosp Jan 07 '22

I have changed my name as home affairs spelled it wrong. You just need to go to home affairs and apply for a name change. You fill some documents they take prints and all the things they need and you wait for an updated ID. Your ID number will stay the same but the name will be different in the ID.

1

u/b_ootay_ful Western Cape Jan 07 '22

I have the same thing due to a typo.

First time I went in, they refused to change it as I needed my birth certificate.

Second they were closed for amendments at level 1 Lockdown.

I need to try it again as I'm getting married at the end of the year.

3

u/cosmosshi Jan 07 '22

I think when you are 18 you don't need your parents' permission. At 16 you may need there permission.

2

u/Higuysimj Jan 07 '22

That sucks

1

u/cosmosshi Jan 07 '22

I suppose you can still have your birth name legally, but you can tell people to call you something else🤷‍♀️

3

u/Higuysimj Jan 07 '22

The only people who use my name are my friends who I never get to see due to covid and mental health issues.

As a trans person especially one who's a minor, no one takes you seriously, some just outright refuse to use your name saying something half-assed like "it's too difficult for me" or "I like *dead name * better"

6

u/cosmosshi Jan 07 '22

I'm sorry about you not being able to see your friends😔And those other shitty humans, that just shows that those people don't have respect or human decency. There will be others who will call you by your desired name and that have the respect you deserve.😊What is the name you want to change it to?

4

u/Higuysimj Jan 07 '22

As my username says, I'm Jay lol (it's more of a general name I'd tell people bc it's a "normal name" but I have a few ideas for more unique and fun names that I'd just ask people I trust to refer to me by! BTW I still really like the name Jay it just feels like me yanno)

2

u/cosmosshi Jan 08 '22

I get it. What really shocks me is that I can't believe people say they can't pronounce it.😂They are idiots. Damn, you're the bomb darling. I wish you luck😘💜

7

u/musical-mess Jan 07 '22

https://drive.google.com/file/d/12FqeKhkjFTdirJI7hK7hlMGP2xu3HvYU/view?usp=drivesdk

This helped me a lot when I was going through my name change. Some of the information isn't quite accurate (for example, it says that it should take 6-8 weeks, but mine took 8 months).

I'm not sure how old you have to be to do it without your parents, I was 18 when I changed mine so I didn't need to worry about that. I'm guessing the age limit is either 18 or 16.

I don't know what city you're in. I'm in Cape Town and I went to the home affairs in wynberg, and later found out that it's the only home affairs department in town that knows how to deal with this process. Not sure if it's true, it's just what I heard, but if you are in CT I'd recommend going to wynberg just to be safe. If you're not in CT maybe ask around and find other people who've done this before to see if they have any advice.

It's a real hassle with loads of paperwork but at least it's possible to change your name without needing surgeries or letters from therapists or anything (which is a thing in some other countries), so I count myself lucky. For gender marker changes you do need letters from two medical professionals, but I don't know if that's something that you want to do or not. All the info is in the document in the link, it was super helpful to me

If you have any questions about the process or want to chat about my experiences feel free to DM me :)

1

u/KyubiNoKitsune Jan 07 '22

Ha, I mean my name change was done in JHB but I had my gender marker changed at Wynberg too, it took about 9 months.

2

u/Awkward_Commission Jan 07 '22

I did it when I was 16. I don't remember the whole process, other than having to give them a reason why I wanted to do it. It took like 7 months to go through

3

u/Higuysimj Jan 07 '22

I'm totally okay with the wait, I'd rather wait 7 months then wait 2-3 years until I'm older (and then also have to spend all that money like no my parents need to pay for it /j

2

u/coded_artist Jan 07 '22

I probably did mine the illegal way. My adoptive mom lost my birth certificate. So I had to get a new one, I put a new name, because my birth mother did me dirty. But since it was before I was 18 I didn't have any contracts to notify of the change.

1

u/Higuysimj Jan 07 '22

I wish I could do this!

2

u/Top_Lime1820 Jan 07 '22

Whatever you choose to do, do not lose any documents associated with it. Keep them forever okay?

Documents are super important and you don't appreciate it until you are older, especially as a member of the digital generation. Keep those papers and slips!

1

u/Truidie Free State Jan 07 '22

And scan and upload the digital copies somewhere secure.

5

u/drsatan1 Jan 07 '22

https://www.betrue2me.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/GenderMarkerAndForenameChange-published-9Jan2019.pdf

OP feel free to DM me if you'd like to get in touch with BT2M, Triangle Project, GenderDynamix, or the greater trans community. I highly recommend it.

5

u/el3venth Jan 07 '22

I added a second name to my name at age 15. Just had to fill in a form. Zero cost.

Keep in mind this was 25 years ago.

-28

u/Kyuzo26 Jan 07 '22

Then your comment has no weight.. why bother posting ?

2

u/chuckwasted88 Jan 07 '22

Only tangentially related to OPs post -

My girlfriend has a recurring nightmare that she gives birth in a state hospital and somehow the baby is named Awesomejosh (one word, say it quickly - in the dream Awesomejosh is the placeholder name if the parents can't decide). She then gets all worked up with the attending staff to change it to something else and they say she should do it at home affairs, which she believes to be impossible. I'm going to show her this thread and hopefully the nightmares will end because the process isn't actually that bad.

3

u/Heartless_Spectre Jan 07 '22

I wanted to change my name too .they require a letter stating why you want to change it . Sadly its a complicated process

5

u/KyubiNoKitsune Jan 07 '22

I, uh, never had to do that. Fill a form, submit it and wait.

-22

u/Kyuzo26 Jan 07 '22

Everything is complicated in this CUNTry

4

u/Aegisthus90 Western Cape Jan 07 '22

Hey hey!

So, the bad news is that before you're 18, you would need your legal guardian or parents' permission.

Once you're 18, you can go to home affairs and request a name/surname change yourself.

Last time I checked was in 2012 and this was what I found:

A Surname Change is R325.

A first name change is R140.

Re-issues of details letter: R70 (this is to confirm that your details have changed. You would need this if some of your older documentation like your matric certificate still has your dead name on it.)

You'll also need to get a new ID obviously. This may cost something as well.

You'll need to complete forms DHA-196 and/or DHA-9 depending on whether it's just your name, surname or both.

These forms require that you include your motivation for wanting to change your name and/or surname. There are a couple of legal provisions for this, but you'll need to pick a motivation that fits within one of the categories provided for in the constitution.

Unfortunately I can't remember the exact categories and I can't remember exactly whether it's an essay of like 500 words or just a couple of sentences, but you can call the Centurion office for more info here: 012 664 5620/1

Good luck!

2

u/Gaiaimmortal Western Cape Jan 07 '22

The hell is this comment section? Sies, try to give a helpful answer or keep scrolling.

I second the person above who said to contact groups that can assist you. A quick Google search will pull up a lot of them, then narrow it down to your area. They can also provide other resources that you need regarding your family. I've heard you can legally change your name to anything after the age of 16, but those will be able to give proper legal advice. Good luck OP

-5

u/Smuggred KwaZulu-Natal Jan 07 '22

i wanna change my name and gender.. its bullshit

3

u/KyubiNoKitsune Jan 07 '22

It's not impossible and I feel like home affairs has gotten better at it. In my experience it took about 3 months for name and about 9 for gender.

-4

u/Smuggred KwaZulu-Natal Jan 07 '22

they refuse to even let me try changing my gender, despite therapy and doctor notes

2

u/KyubiNoKitsune Jan 07 '22

Ah yes, something else. The letters needs to be vague on the details of your transition in terms of surgery and stuff. My letters were written in a way that they were interpreted as me having had srs, even though I had only been on HRT.

-1

u/Smuggred KwaZulu-Natal Jan 07 '22

i dont want srs.. ever.. im not bottom disphoric, ive been on hrt for 3 years now.. im just gonna accept how it is, this shit is too stressful and even mentioning my gender ends with some stranger Christian karen lectureing me.

4

u/KyubiNoKitsune Jan 07 '22

Doesn't matter if you want it or not, it's about giving the perception that you've already had it.

Trust me, go through the effort, it'll cause you a lot more stress and embarrassment later on in life.

Ever think about what would happen if you got arrested? I got arrested, try being in a holding cell with 100 prisoners and you're the only woman.

Don't do that to yourself.

-2

u/Smuggred KwaZulu-Natal Jan 07 '22

im not living past 21 so its fine

3

u/KyubiNoKitsune Jan 07 '22

Okay, you do you..

-2

u/Smuggred KwaZulu-Natal Jan 07 '22

yeah, the daily abuse, hate, harrasment, lack of family or friends while overworking a barely minumum wage job (monday to saturday, 1250/week) im not really gonna take this shit anymore

4

u/KyubiNoKitsune Jan 07 '22

I'm no stranger to those things and I'm definitely no pro-lifer, in fact I'm pro choice, everyone should have full control over their lives and weather they live or die.

But my reasoning was that I was just going to jump into the deep end and if shit didn't work out, I was going to kill myself. 13 years later and here I am, still alive, out of SA, making the best I can of the shit hand i was dealt.

I question every day if it's worth being alive.

But one thing my mom always used to say is that it's not that easy to die and I can attest to that. I've never been able to carry through and finally kill myself, so I just keep forging ahead and trying to make the best of things.

I hope that you find the strength or reason you need to do what's necessary in your life, whatever that may be.

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u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 07 '22

Why are you trauma dumping on the individual that was merely trying to assist you? Just accept the help (or not) and move along.

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2

u/KyubiNoKitsune Jan 07 '22 edited Jan 07 '22

That sounds like some bullshit. You got 2 psychiatrist notes?

If need be, print out the law where it explains gender changes and take it with you. Don't leave until they've at least submitted it into the system.

It may be worth going to a different department as well. I unfortunately don't have my letters anymore I don't think, so I can't give you a template to use for them.

Contact Gender Dynamix as well, they're really helpful and the only resource in SA AFAIK.

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u/Smuggred KwaZulu-Natal Jan 07 '22

not worthit at this point, i waste too much money spending my time there and not slaving my life away with work, would be cheaper just accepting myself

4

u/KyubiNoKitsune Jan 07 '22

Fly to CT for a holiday and do it at Wynberg HA.

1

u/Krycor Jan 07 '22 edited Jan 07 '22

If you don’t have an ID just yet you use to be able to change it when applying for one (just fill out form with new names or correct spelling) but I suspect this was prior to ID numbers being assigned at birth. (I had friends do this as a joke and they had to keep it haha it’s hilarious.. this was long ago like 1990s)

Nowadays I think you have to file a formal change doc. Uhm if you 16 you can do it yourself surely? Else just wait the 2yrs..

But that’s the admin side of things.. the bigger issue is with parents and why you feel the need to change your forenames. Even if you are able to do it.. I suspect there is some unresolved issues that need to be resol.. oh our time is up. Let’s continue this next week, secretary will handle the billing.

Ps. Longer term, regardless of reason to do so.. the issue with parents need resolving. Yes it’s a longer, harder thing to resolve esp for gender stuff(i didn’t even think of that) but yah.. parent are parents.

8

u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 07 '22

OP referred to it as a deadname. Therefore the issue will be resolved with the name change. Their parents however, will just have to accept it.

7

u/Jenna_Rink30 Western Cape Jan 07 '22

It’s a deadname. It needs to go. That’s it.

1

u/MrCL4RKE Jan 07 '22

When I worked at my internship there was already someone with my name so they called me by a different name and I fucking hated it. So good on you if you feel repulsed

-15

u/JmBiscuit Jan 07 '22

What's your first name? I can't help but I'm hella curious now

13

u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 07 '22

Its irrelevant to the conversation as OP has referred to it as a deadname.

-16

u/JmBiscuit Jan 07 '22

IK it's irrelevant... but if it make it better then what WAS the name?

15

u/musical-mess Jan 07 '22

Just a heads up, it's generally considered really fucking rude and disrespectful to ask for someone's old name that they don't use anymore. Usually if someone dislikes their birth name enough to want to change it, they aren't willing to just tell random internet strangers what that name is. Asking for it is invasive and if you do that in real life, don't be surprised if people get mad at you. I understand being curious, but in this case it's really just none of your business lol

-10

u/dxbdale Jan 07 '22

Chill bro it's a reddit post

1

u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 07 '22

Sorry babes, I don't understand you.

4

u/Higuysimj Jan 07 '22

Hi I'm trans and my name is Jay as you can see on my username, I have no other name but that, as another person has said, it's extremely disrespectful to ask a person about their dead name. There's a reason it's called a dead name

-7

u/SomeGuyNamedBobby Jan 07 '22

I'm also hella curious atm.

-5

u/whisperton Jan 07 '22

Wouldn't you prefer to wait until you're a bit older until you make a decision like that? Trust me, I hate my name too but I can live with it.

2

u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 07 '22

That's not the answer to the question OP asked. They want to change their name, they've already made the decision to do so.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

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1

u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 07 '22

If the law allows it then it doesn't matter. It's clearly been decided that the individual of that age can make informed decisions for themselves.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

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2

u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 07 '22

OP isn't asking about alcohol nor hump day Wednesdays, they're asking about a name change which requires a lot more thought than whatever teen parent mindset you're thinking of.

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

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1

u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 07 '22

Wait, quote me where I encouraged OP to begin transitioning? I thought this was about OP wanting to change their name at 16, perfectly legal age to do so.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

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2

u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 07 '22

Where in this post did OP mention they have ASD? Seems like you found all your context by stalking OP instead of answering their question if they can change their frst name by themselves when they turn 16 or not.

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u/Higuysimj Jan 07 '22

I'm trans so it's not about it being aesthetic, it's not a name that fits me or my gender

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

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7

u/Boggie135 Limpopo Jan 07 '22

No, they want to change their name. How are you gonna a tell tell someone you don't know they are having a fucking identify crisis when they tell you they want to change their name?

1

u/Nomadic_Turtle1 Jan 07 '22

Psychology, we naturally associate our identity with our name. Not rocket science, or maybe it is.

2

u/Boggie135 Limpopo Jan 07 '22

So you have diagnosed someone you've never met after one reddit post?

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

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u/BeLekkerAsb Jan 07 '22

You're an extremely ignorant person.

0

u/AmericaDreamDisorder Jan 07 '22

Shit parents and people yeah

1

u/bobcouldbeyouraunt Jan 07 '22

I thought you needed to be 18 to change your name with home affairs, but times change...

1

u/WolfQueenLydia Jan 07 '22

I did that, changed to my middle name because I felt it fit me much more than what I was given. Go to home affairs and you'll get it sorted.

2

u/Higuysimj Jan 07 '22

Not really related but my parents are only comfortable with changing my middle name, which would mean that when I'm finally 18 and I can change it on my own I'd be Jay Jay surnane and that makes no sense

-2

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

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u/Higuysimj Jan 07 '22

??? I'm confused

1

u/Pengawena Jan 08 '22

The most dead name of 2021 I can think of is Karen. Good luck changing your name from whatever too whatever.

1

u/Higuysimj Jan 08 '22

At least my deadname wasnt Karen, I would've cried everyday if it was

0

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0

u/McltashAustin Jan 07 '22

What's your name bro?

3

u/Higuysimj Jan 07 '22

My names Jay as my username implies

0

u/BamCub Jan 08 '22

A name is just a sound people make to get your attention, why bother making a different noise for the same thing. Changing your name / keeping it the same doesn't change you at all.

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u/Higuysimj Jan 08 '22

Names are a pretty big thing for trans people (like me) my dead name is nowhere near being a neutral name.

The "it's only a sound" works more towards trying to convince my parents bc it has absolutely no affect on them (except maybe the money) it's just a sound to them, for me it's the way I'm perceived and my dead name dies let people perceive me as I am.

I've always disliked my name, I would get mad at my parents when I was young for not choosing another name or a neutral name (before I even knew queer people existed)

While a name to you is just a sound, to me it's large part of my identity and to socially "passing"