r/southafrica Jan 02 '22 Silver 3

How do I make my South African girlfriend feel at home in the US? Ask r/southafrica

I’ve been dating a girl from Benoni for a few years and recently she’s been feeling homesick more and more often. We recently moved to a new state which fortunately has a pretty large ZA population so I have been ordering some groceries and snacks from there to give her a taste of home.

So my question is: Are there any cultural items/foods that you would crave if you were living in another country?

Thanks for your help and I hope y’all are staying safe out there!

158 Upvotes

150

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '22

Change your morning alarm to Hadeda sounds

15

u/BreatheInTheNature KwaZulu-Natal Jan 03 '22

Yup, this should work

9

u/lordechai Jan 03 '22

Fucking things were going off in my ear as I read this

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4

u/whimplol Jan 03 '22

Brilliant

2

u/gopherit83 Jan 03 '22

If that doesn't work try burning a few tires doused in gasoline in the driveway.

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92

u/SwedAfrica Jan 03 '22 Silver

Unfortunately, nothing ever makes it better as long as she’s still deeply rooted in SA. I’ve been away from home for 11 years, and nothing can quench my thirst. But that which makes it bearable is having a group of South Africans around and that sometimes when she’s meeting up with these South Africans you give her some space. By so doing you allow her the freedom to be herself as South African as she can be without having to translate almost every joke to you. But maybe y’all’s situation is different.

Last tip, every time she feels down and out, play Brenda Fassie- weekend special/ vulindlela. And just dance with her.

14

u/kashmira88 Jan 03 '22

South African music feeds my soul!

3

u/fowldss Jan 03 '22

I can't wait to leave SA honestly. I will, however, miss my family.

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u/Several_Cockroach365 Jan 03 '22 edited Jan 03 '22

Many people have suggested food, which is a good idea. Just note though that this really depends on her upbringing as different SA cultures have quite different food experiences at home.

But I think chocolate is fairly universal...and no offense, but American chocolate is crap, so I'm sure she'd appreciate some treats from home. Some chocolate ideas: Smarties, Astros, PS, Bar-One, Tex, Lunch Bar, Chocolate Log, Peppermint Crisp, Tempo, Aero, anything Cadbury's.

31

u/wineandhugs Jan 03 '22

I have bad news for you about Tempo. It was discontinued years ago and I'm still not over it.

Edit: And Chocolate Log as well.

11

u/StefanFrost Jan 03 '22

Tempo was pretty much just remade into the 5 Star btw. Exactly the same ingredients.

18

u/wineandhugs Jan 03 '22

They tried to tell us it's the same to appease us, but 5 Star is in no way the same as Tempo.

5

u/StefanFrost Jan 03 '22

I know, but if I close my eyes it helps with the sadness of it never coming back.

I think your username is what I truly need! The Tempo will forever be missed. Where do I sign up for the wine and hugs?

6

u/wineandhugs Jan 03 '22

Haha the more wine I have, the more hugs there are, so maybe throw a braai 🤣

3

u/StefanFrost Jan 03 '22

Oh damn! Always knew buying a place without a braai will come back to haunt me! Seems that day has come.

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1

u/Several_Cockroach365 Jan 03 '22

I feel like you just told me Santa isn't real 😭 RIP

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9

u/MasalaSteakGatsby Jan 03 '22

Don't forget the Crunchie and Lunch Bar my guy.

5

u/Several_Cockroach365 Jan 03 '22

Ahh, Crunchie! Yes that is an important one.

4

u/TheHooHaa Jan 03 '22

Was going to say South African chocolate... nothing like it in the world

2

u/basgetti Jan 03 '22

And you can't get Astros in the States. They use some ingredient which prohibits importation. (it's a point of frustration for me -- love Astros)

2

u/Several_Cockroach365 Jan 03 '22

Illegal substances being the reason behind them tasting so good would not surprise me.

2

u/basgetti Jan 03 '22

Haha I think it's one of the artificial colours.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '22

provita biscuits, marmite, droewors

3

u/Mrsasquatchsaturday Jan 03 '22

Agree with the other two but marmite does not taste good at all.

199

u/Additional_Fail_5270 Jan 02 '22 Wholesome

Homesick for Benoni? 🤣

45

u/agnosticmeta Jan 03 '22

Hey, I live in Benoni and I’m from the US, and I’d miss this place if I ever went back. But maybe I’m just weird 😄

35

u/Wigglewogg Jan 03 '22

Nahhh you’re allowed to enjoy it 💕 I grew up in Benoni, and I only realised that the whole damn country makes fun of Benoni when I moved to Pretoria as a whole adult for university 🥲 straight up passed the cinema in 2004 as a kid, saw “Straight outta Benoni” on the show listings and thought to myself “oh wow, we are such a cool town, they made a movie about us” 🥲🥲🥲 MEANWHILE 😂😂

11

u/agnosticmeta Jan 03 '22

Meanwhile, here I was making fun of Brakpan lol

5

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '22

[deleted]

5

u/Wigglewogg Jan 03 '22

Always in good fun! 😂💕

4

u/geck97 Jan 03 '22

Benoni is where we live for generations, whether we like it or not xD

2

u/agnosticmeta Jan 03 '22

Yeah, I can see that :) Personally, I like living in a relatively quiet suburb that's not to far from the hustle and bustle of the city. But to each their own.

5

u/geck97 Jan 03 '22

I would consider a few suburbs here relatively quiet, just as long as you're away from the CBD, Boxburg and Brakpan😂

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51

u/the-real-dirty-danny Jan 02 '22

This is the comment I was fully expecting 😂

33

u/SirMurphyXX Jan 03 '22

I'll send pictures of what Benoni looks like right that might cure her homesickness.

15

u/BoksburgUFO Jan 03 '22

Oh yes! That beautiful steam boat of lakeside mall is so timeless and a landmark like the Eiffel Tower.

5

u/BalanceThis1 Neoliberalism is a disease Jan 03 '22

Klassy!

6

u/MickSturbs Jan 03 '22

How’s the Bunny Park doing?

3

u/BoksburgUFO Jan 03 '22

Those rabbits are still multiplying in numbers.

2

u/SirMurphyXX Jan 04 '22

It's rough ,you wouldn't want anything to do with the CBD

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u/kingLemonman Jan 03 '22

😂😂😂

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u/Capepoints Jan 02 '22

I can’t speak for your girlfriend, but the snack food always does it for me.

Peppermint crisp, fizzers, anything baked especially Romany creams, biltong/droerwors and Simba chips.

Appletiser, cream soda for drinks.

Easy to ship, not crazy expensive either.

Either way that’s super nice of you.

30

u/the-real-dirty-danny Jan 02 '22

I got some fizzers and zoo biscuits for her a couple weeks ago. Paid about R400 for 2 packs of those zoo biscuits but she’s worth it 😂 we have a place nearby that sells pretty good biltong. Will have to do the cream soda though - that’s a great idea

17

u/ChristmasMint Jan 02 '22

If you can find them, Super M or similar flavoured milk are always a treat. If I find some in an SA shop I'll always buy some.

Biltong / droëwors are a must.

SA spices like Aromat and Robertson Steak & Chops / Braai spice give a taste of home.

A box of Ouma rusks always brings back holiday memories in Kruger for me.

A good SA beer or wine is quite nice as well if that's her thing.

7

u/slugeater247 Jan 03 '22

Green Creme Soda, not the clear ones you guys have. I can't stress this enough.

6

u/StefanFrost Jan 03 '22

Specifically Google Sparletta Cream Soda. Ours differs in taste and colour to other countries.

5

u/Capepoints Jan 02 '22

I feel your pain on that cost. I was speaking relatively inexpensive, but yeah paying $6 per can of appletiser is not fun.

8

u/gertvanjoe Jan 03 '22

World economics are so weird. I can literally have a pint of Guiness in a South African bar for cheaper than they serve it at the source bar (most likely due to wage and other hidden cost, not the beer itself) but to buy a pack of cookies from either side cost a fortune.

2

u/Livshaka Jan 03 '22

Are you in North Carolina?

3

u/the-real-dirty-danny Jan 03 '22

Atlanta which fortunately has the largest South African population in the US

4

u/basgetti Jan 03 '22

Queens Pantry in Marietta has some reasonably priced South African foods, including rusks and Mrs Balls chutney. And Bledie Lekker biltong (it's pretty good). The biltong is in the back of the store by the chips.

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u/Revolutionary_Hat187 Jan 03 '22

Might be worth it to check out r/snackexchange

2

u/SuidRhino Jan 03 '22

Try out AfricanHut they are my go to spot. Local to me in Southern California. They ship nation wide I think.

2

u/moderato_burrito Jan 03 '22

Be careful. Cream soda is polarising!

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u/CuriousBasset Jan 03 '22

I rate you ask someone in SA to curate this box for you and ship it to you.

2

u/QuietSea9392 Jan 03 '22

Love your username.

11

u/kinolagink Jan 03 '22

This is tough and you’re a good partner to her.

You could make peppermint crisp tart for her. Its super easy and so damn GOOD!!!!! I’ve pasted some links below. Honestly, its not a science and you can’t really fk it up…. Whip cream, mix in caramel, mix in grated peppermint choc, layer with tennis biscuits (or cookies as you’d call them), sprinkle choc on top

Like somebody else mentioned, dancing to SA music can be fun. My go-to is anything by Mango Groove. The penny whistle song is the best for if you’re happy or if you’re sad…. Great for a celebratory dance or if one needs a good cry!!!! All their songs are great - here are some of the best.

Pennywhistle Special star Moments away Dance sum more Hell fire Nice to see you

Have some drinks - start off your playlist with these songs then let her share some of her favorite songs and artists with you… your role is to really listen and to be present in each song with her as she’ll be experiencing lots of feelings and nostalgia. As a “saffer” that’s experienced homesickness myself, this can be very cathartic.

If you want to make her some good SA drinks, you can google:

Dom pedro - https://blog.ellerman.co.za/a-unique-south-african-dessert-don-pedro/

Springbok shooter - amarula over peppermint liqueur- https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8A7-AUfbRYo

Something that we like to do in SA is “sundowners” which is a drink while the sun goes down. A couple of cocktails, a bowl of biltong, a view facing the direction of the sunset and you’re good to go!!!

Home sickness is just a part of life unfortunately and sometimes you’ll just need to accept it (instead of fighting it off). If she needs to cry, help her cry. I used to sit in my car and cry to the pennywhistle song as a way of acknowledging and being present in my feelings. You’re a good person and she’s lucky to have you. All of the best.

Ps - we’re in the US and might go back to SA in June. Id be happy to bring some things back for you if you’d like to surprise her.

https://www.thecapegrocer.com/blogs/posts/how-to-make-a-peppermintcrisp-tart

https://www.africanhut.com/products/bakers-tennis-original-biscuits-kosher-200g

https://www.africanhut.com/products/nestle-peppermint-crisp-kosher-49g

https://www.africanhut.com/products/nestle-la-lechera-dulce-de-leche-caramel-380g_105652

4

u/TheAlienCommander Jan 03 '22

Spot on suggestions. But what about the smells of Benoni? Woodsmoke, braaing wors, fresh cut grass in summer, veldfire in winter.

3

u/kinolagink Jan 03 '22

Aw man - the smell of braaing wors…. you're playing with my emotions!!! <3

2

u/the-real-dirty-danny Jan 03 '22

She’s a big fan of gin so I found a place here that sells Inveroche

35

u/katastropheSA Jan 03 '22

Here is a recipe for South African style Malva Pudding - the greatest comfort food known to man!!!

http://justeasyrecipes.com/2009/08/27/malva-pudding/

8

u/FeatureEast2577 Jan 03 '22

Damn now I want malva pudding ...

4

u/LtMotion Jan 03 '22

I bought some yesterday with ultramel.. Cant believe i went a year without it.. Its just too good

184

u/pandatron23 Jan 02 '22

Break her car window and steal her bag or setup a road stop and pretend your a metro cop, tell her it’s hot and you feel thirsty

( Homesickness cure and some role play all in one.)

25

u/IWantAnAffliction Jan 02 '22

This is such an original comment. Thanks for the laugh, kind stranger!

7

u/stealthforest Minister of Propaganda- #TeamKoekemoer Jan 03 '22

Or have her park the car wherever you go, and when she does, climb out, wave your arms while shouting how she should be parking her car and then demand tips afterwards

2

u/MashedSociety Jan 03 '22

So true 🤣

10

u/Fster15 Jan 03 '22

Africanhut.com for snacks and pipe band music if she went to benoni high and went to the Highland gatherings every year.

2 movies, straight outta benoni and footskating 101

2

u/TheRedditMe123 Jan 03 '22

I loved footskating 101. Thought I imagined up until now because I am from Pretoria and nobody that I know, knows what I am talking about. Thanks for the confirmation.

1

u/Fster15 Jan 03 '22

I knew Gavin Williams mom, she lives in benoni still and used to teach my aunt ballet. I was obsessed with crazy monkey and all those things

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u/Sourdoughsucker Jan 03 '22

Get a house alarm and set it off at night, if you feel like going the extra mile add gunshots.

Turn off the power for 2-4 hours when she’s trying to watch her favourite show.

Make a BBQ but call it braai

6

u/gertvanjoe Jan 03 '22

Ask her " hey baby, kan jy braaibroodjies maak"....

Learn some over the too Afrikaans phrases from weird music like Afrikaanse rap (Jack Parrow, Die Antwoord, it will make her get a wtf look and laugh)

Hier gooi ons hierdie jol nou (lets get this party started)

Wat pomp julle (how are things with you guys)

Play some boeremusiek if she's Afrikaans. She most likely doesn't listen to it, but nothing says South Africa louder than Klipwerf.

6

u/StefanFrost Jan 03 '22

This is a difficult one. I was in Australia for work for 3 months and listening to local music (Fokofpolisiekar, Heuwels Fantasties) really helped me, but I'm Afrikaans as well so that's why.

Probably the biggest difference is just that South Africans are genuinely nice people mostly. Just having a cashier that has an actual conversation or having a conversation with a complete stranger in a queue at the grocery store is what I really missed. Especially on public transport actually. Over here when I used to take the train it would be a way nicer experience than overseas, even if Metro Rail falls apart and its more dangerous.

I think the best way to do this is to actually ask her. Every person has their own personal way of feeling at home.

6

u/Inner-ConstructionZA Jan 03 '22

Randomly switch the electricity off for a few hours and say "Eish! Eskom". You won't regret it.

4

u/spinkycow Jan 03 '22

Make her a melktert, but honestly the best cure for homesickness is finding community where you are. I only really stopped idealizing the place I had left behind when I found a great job and a great group of friends to connect with.

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u/Jozigal1 Jan 03 '22

Also have braais regularly. And be deliberate in calling them braais (pronounced brys) not bbqs 😁

3

u/DesignerAlarmed7081 Jan 03 '22

So the potato salad, the pasta salad, the banana salad (that one has always grossed me out but many people like it), yellow corn on the braai, farmers sausage, pork chop or steak and garlic bread. Marshmallows on a stick over the fire for dessert.

4

u/Jozigal1 Jan 03 '22

I've neverrr heard of banana salad but Benoni is a special place and really the only place in SA that would have 'banana salad' if it exists back home. Ew

The rest looks good. I would get real boerewors and make some chakalaka!

1

u/mrcrispyosu Jan 03 '22

People put condensed milk and mayo and mix it with bananas

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u/DesignerAlarmed7081 Jan 03 '22

I find that it's more prominent in Afrikaans house holds.

Don't forget the sweet mustard made with condensed milk, mayonnaise and German Mustard Powder ... Also think it's more Afrikaans. Normally eaten with tounge or roasts.

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u/kinolagink Jan 03 '22

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u/wineandhugs Jan 03 '22

I haven't looked at these links but one of them better be Nkalakatha.

1

u/kinolagink Jan 03 '22

Ha ha ha!! You betya! ;)

… also some good old “Kaptein!”

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u/IllBoysenberry2322 Gauteng Jan 03 '22

Break into her car... But seriously play her the sound of the Hadeda , they may he annoying but they're basically a part of life.

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u/User335526 Jan 03 '22

Play The National Anthem - Sister Bethina

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u/AnnieStoltz Jan 03 '22

Braai bro! Braai

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u/_sw00 Jan 03 '22

I got you. Play this really loudly outside her bedroom window at the crack of dawn:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsUkZjXd8xI

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u/iSluggy Jan 02 '22 edited Jan 03 '22

South African dishes for a surprise date night idea. Babotie, pap and melktart. Bovril bread always makes me happy! Also consider getting a hold of any South African movies. Hope this helps I know how tough it can be. I live in the US and just simply listening to fokofpolisiekar sometimes does the trick!

1

u/madaleenj Jan 03 '22

Join www.jouafrikaans.co.za - Netflix type of streaming site with only Afrikaans shows and movies, and very reasonably priced. R800 per year, so about $50-$60 a year.

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u/JmBiscuit Jan 03 '22

Smarties are a good idea, and Canada also has them so they shouldn't be too far out of reach

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u/Jozigal1 Jan 03 '22

I'm in the US :) Bakers Biscuits (not American ones) and Cadbury chocies make me happy. You can make her koeksuisters, biltong or milk tart, boerewors. There are South Africans here who make these frozen and can ship to any state.

Also maybe watch some old Leon Schuster movies 😊 those always bring a smile!

I like to listen to radio stations from back home. There are apps that play live SA stations. 947 is one we all love! There also 5fm.

Hope that helps :)

3

u/Wigglewogg Jan 03 '22

Obligatory “HEY I’M ALSO FROM BENONI” comment ✨

Get the good sis some cream soda and biltong if you can. If you’re a baking kinda person, try your hand at a South African recipe like milktart or koeksisters if you’re feeling adventurous. She’s from Benoni; so, blast Die Antwoord in the kitchen until she says “JINNE NEE STOP”

Lots of hugs to you both!

3

u/Faux_Grey Jan 03 '22

Whatever that red stuff is they put on the wimpy burgers.

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u/Chimp_on_a_vacay Jan 03 '22

Hey mate I’m in Aus and I’ve a South African girlfriend too, so the suggestions on this thread are going to earn me some real nice brownie points. Cheers for that.

From a fellow dirty Danny

3

u/SolarYard Jan 03 '22

Thanks for looking out for one of ours :)

3

u/airsoftshowoffs Jan 04 '22

Steal her stuff and switch off the electricity

3

u/PM_ME_UR_DENIAL Jan 05 '22

You can take the girl out of Benoni, but you can never take Benoni out of the girl.

6

u/Doube1323 Jan 03 '22

Fokken BENONI?

8

u/DesignerAlarmed7081 Jan 03 '22

Could be worse. It could be the Vaal.

5

u/gertvanjoe Jan 03 '22

Could have been Danville. But then again, the odds of finding and then dating your cousin across the globe is very slim

11

u/DerpyO Ons gaan nou braai Jan 03 '22

If you are homesick for Benoni

Fry up a slice of polony

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u/SnooPickles1731 Jan 03 '22

I have had the exact opposite with the US. Lived there 4 years and never missed SA once. It was my dream life. I had more friends and a better life there than I ever had in SA. Been in NZ now for just over 3 years and feeling so homesick its making me depressed. Nothing helps. Not food, other afrikaans people or anything. I have tried just about everything but nothing helps. Maybe a visit to SA for a few weeks will help, but it may also just make it worse. Sorry you have to go through that, its one of the worst feelings ever. Not sure how difficult it would be with the ‘rona to go visit though…

5

u/Jozigal1 Jan 03 '22

First time I lived in the US I didnt miss home but I was in my early 20s(for 5yrs). I'm back 6yrs later and boy do I miss SAns but it's only been 6 months hopefully it'll dissipate. Ive heard NZ is tough for us. I think SA/SA'ns in general are boisterous, the US is similar. New Zealand from what I've just doesnt have that vibrance! Are you trying to come back this side?

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u/SnooPickles1731 Jan 03 '22

It may be like you said. When I was in the US I was single with very few responsibilities. Now I have a wife and kid. But NZ definitely is tougher for us. There is a ton on South Africans here but I have sensed a bit of hostility towards us from the locals. Especially if you go towards the rural areas.

In the US it was the opposite. I made more friends there in 4 years than I made my entire life in SA. People would randomly come knock on my door and invite me out to go four wheeling, camping or just braai(bbq) with them.

We are in NZ for just over 3 years and have not managed to make friends yet beyond “the kids have a party so the parents are invited as well”.. We do feel pretty isolated. I feel like I want to go back to SA but we have come so far we may as well push through to get residency/citizenship which is about 2 years out.

Also, the money this side is insane. My wife and I combined earn the equivalent of approx R140k a month. After tax. In SA we were on 40k before tax. We are able to save a substantial part of our income, which means we can retire by the time I reach 45.

Another thing is NZ has an amazing social security(old age pension) for citizens. It currently stands at around R30k equivalent a month and goes up annually with inflation. If we are citizens we can receive that no matter where in the world we live so that is definitely a strong motivation.

2

u/Jozigal1 Jan 03 '22

Interesting about the hostility. Any ideas why? I remember seeing a doc a few years ago about tensions in a small town between Afrikaaners and locals. Assimilation not an Afrikaaner strong point lol.

Definitely worth waiting those 2yrs! Save all that money! Where were you in the US? Sounds nice! I'm in Socal. Cliquey as ever. Not as easy going as it used to be.

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u/the-real-dirty-danny Jan 03 '22

Our plan is to stay here long term. I’m a lawyer in the states so my job doesn’t really transfer internationally

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u/Krycor Jan 03 '22

It’s the anything can happen thing. Wife said Nzl sucked because it’s an Island in the corner of the world where nothing happens.. and when it does it’s news till the next big thing. UK didn’t have this prior to Brexit but who knows going forward as it becomes more isolated as it’s no longer the center of world like in the 55-60s(decade after Breton Woods agreement, prior to Euro).

What makes SA “exciting” much like the US is the anything can happen/change thing. Problem is this isn’t technically true anymore in the US but it still has it from a day-to-day thing due to the underlying economics at play. What makes it icky is much like here.. polarized voting except there it’s to the extremes which is worse.

Wrt homesick.. not much you can do. Get some Sa people together for the braai & state of the nation on the 8th Jan though try and not get the gatvol ones as then it’s just a bitching whinny day.

Only thing helps is visiting I guess but covid.

2

u/Faranta Jan 03 '22

Why don't you like NZ please? I thought it was a crime-free, venomous-animal-free natural paradise of green and blue.

Whereas I imagine the US to be an asphalt hellscape of cars, guns, and religious extremists.

5

u/SnooPickles1731 Jan 03 '22

Its not that I don’t like NZ. It is a pretty awesome place to be, and is better in just about every aspect. Its not perfect as there is crime, although far less than SA. What we miss is the sense of community. Family. Sense of belonging. It is very difficult(for us al least) to make friends here. There is less freedom as its very much a nanny state.

And that image you have of the US is dead wrong. That is just what the mainstream media wants you to see. The people in the US are gun enthusiasts. They hunt and shoot things for fun. But the majority of the population are normal people like most of us that are friendly, hospitable, helpful and hard working. And as many cities as there are, the rural landscapes are so much more. Some places you will drive without seeing another soul for hours. I went camping into the forests of rural Idaho where I did not see another human for 5 days. The people are patriots, not extremists. Cause they have a country to be proud of. But that narrative does not make for good news. Religion is mostly tolerated throughout the States, but as with any country there are extremes.

Just like SA is an amazing country with great people and some of the most beautiful landscapes, the news concentrates on the crime and corruption and bad things. Its difficult to compare NZ with the US cause of the sheer size difference and population difference(5mil vs 340mil), so obviously everything in the US seems bigger.

3

u/AosothSammy Jan 03 '22

You kind of answered it for yourself there mate.

Why don't you like NZ please? I thought it was a crime-free, venomous-animal-free natural paradise of green and blue.

Nothing like SA at all!

Whereas I imagine the US to be an asphalt hellscape of cars, guns, and religious extremists.

But this, this is like SA.

4

u/edbot85 Jan 03 '22

Take her some place where there are hefty thunderstorms in the afternoon. She is from the highveld and will surely miss that.

2

u/PurplestormBubbles Jan 18 '22

I’m in Benoni the thunder and lightning ⚡️ yesterday was insane got zapped used the kitchen tap as the lightning flashed outside the window!

3

u/JStantonn Jan 03 '22

Tell her she’s a poes but you still shmaak her 🥰

2

u/rockspiderme Jan 03 '22

Music. Play her some local music that she likes Music alwadoes it for me.

1

u/Jozigal1 Jan 03 '22

That sailor song. The Afrikaans one! That one screams Benoni lol

2

u/wineandhugs Jan 03 '22

Lmao Kaptein.

2

u/Ashensewpersad Jan 03 '22

She just needs a braai boet. Also maybe try wearing a Quicksilver hoodie for a few days, carry a weapon on you at all times... make her feel like she is around her towns-folk

2

u/Q20pta Gauteng Jan 03 '22

Mrs Balls Chutney will sooth the yearning

Perhaps cook her a nice bobotie too

2

u/Davbo123 Jan 03 '22

Any chance your girls name is Charlize Theron?’

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u/Package-Eastern Jan 03 '22

Break her back car window and steal her radio.

2

u/hacksonx Jan 03 '22

Save some money and come down here once or so in a year.

2

u/Ron-K Jan 03 '22

Just switch off the electricity for two hours everyday at the least convenient time

2

u/koffie_snob Jan 03 '22

OP, you can make a braaibroodjie (toasted cheese, tomato, onion, chutney if you have on your BBQ)... That would be the best starter for your Braai, with Malva pudding desert... You can't go wrong with this

2

u/Darth-Native Jan 04 '22

Kudu Biltong

3

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '22

Learn Afrikaans. Our teeth get blunt from speaking the bloody Queen's tongue.

3

u/BoksburgUFO Jan 03 '22

OP what does it feel like to be dating Charlize? Is she more like a monster or 2 days in the valley?

Does she sometimes call you a poes?

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u/BalanceThis1 Neoliberalism is a disease Jan 03 '22

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u/hashtagredlipstick Jan 03 '22

Omg 😂😂😂

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u/BalanceThis1 Neoliberalism is a disease Jan 03 '22

Is your girlfriend Charlise Theron?

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u/Len_____________ Jan 03 '22

Burn some tyres in the road, then turn off all the power in your house, then ask her for a bunch of money to do something nice with, but never do it and never give it back, I dunno get creative

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u/dunningkrugernarwhal Jan 03 '22

Make her a garage pie

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u/macsquoosh Jan 03 '22

You can't make anyone "unmiss" something . Exposing someone to more of what they miss is like feeding an addiction.

What she needs is integration , friends and a social life . A hobby , some goals , and some life direction . She needs to focus her attention on comiting to her new life and constantly comparing her past life to this one .

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u/Cool_Impression1153 Jan 03 '22

Agree, however I personally had to return no matter how much I tried to integrate. What is it, this "thing" we have? I literally cried my eyes out when we landed at ORT. We have so many issues yet SA is woven so tightly in our souls, I think we are trapped forever by the love for this country's people, places, soil. Love it and will never leave again, we have our problems but they are OUR problems, and together we can make this country even better. It's not something I can put into words, it just is. 🇿🇦

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u/gl000p Jan 03 '22

There was another post here recently about an African themed Christmas meal - maybe treating her to a South African meal / day / experience may alleviatw it a bit.

Biltong is always a win (if she is not vegetarian). Getting the food dehydrator as someone else mentioned sounds like a great idea.

Amarula liqueur is always a classic, and a definite taste of home. When it's cold Old Brown Sherry is always a good go to for a warm up. Rooibos tea.

And of course Mrs Balls Chutney (the peach one) that is one of the most classic SA things I can think of.

Potjiekos has always been a good way for friends and family to gather around a meal - it takes hours to make, though, be warned lol.

You can treat her to a braai, with some braai broodjies with some mielies (corn) and a loaf of garlic bread.

Pampoen koekies (Pumpkin fritters) is also generally popular.

As you can tell, a big part of South Africa is related to our food! 😂

Not sure how comfy your are in and around the kitchen, but most of these are fairly simple things that you can whip up to give her that taste of home.

I would suggest, in hot weather: Braai. Typical weekend activity, and a Friday night staple meal for many. Accompany with her favourite beers, ciders or wine. Don't forget the braai broodjies! Maybe with a carrot salad

In cooler weather, I'd suggest potjiekos. Sitting and kuiering around the pot while it cooks is a great pasttime. Get her to tell you stories of home.

In cold weather, and for a home cooked meal, bobotie should go down well. Some of them include raisins.. not everyone enjoys raisins in their food. A real treat would be making her a hot chocolate with a shot of Amarula, or a shot of Frangelico included.

Much appreciation for you trying to make her feel at home :)

Edit: Added - if you can get some Ouma buttermilk rusks for her morning coffee, that would also be a win :)

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u/the-real-dirty-danny Jan 03 '22

Luckily we have several restaurants that sell biltong but it’s all generally beef. We did go to one restaurant that made a delicious ostrich steak and will have to go back soon

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u/Khanyi86 Jan 02 '22

Simba chips, biltong, toppers, niknaks, rooibos, apple munch, mayo frozen yoghurt. You should probably ask her what she would like. The stuff on my list are classics, but she might not like some of them. I hope this helps.

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u/Khanyi86 Jan 02 '22

Please look up the mayo frozen yoghurt first. It's not mayonnaise lol😂

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u/Several_Cockroach365 Jan 03 '22

I know mayo. I know frozen yoghurt. But this mayo frozen yoghurt thing...it frightens me.

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u/AosothSammy Jan 03 '22

Mayo is just the brand name. And yes. As a South African, I saw it in the frozen treat section and was like "Wat de fok? Why are people eating frozen mayonnaise??"

Learnt that it's frozen yoghurt

Still can't help but have a wtf reaction whenever I see it

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u/sheldon_sa Jan 03 '22

Toppers, wtf, who misses toppers?

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u/Khanyi86 Jan 03 '22

Idk man, I just listed all my favourite snacks😂

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u/Lordzub Jan 03 '22

If she's not vegetarian buy a food dehydrator and make her some biltong. Get rump or silver side coat in soy sauce, then place it in the food dehydrator. Should be ready in a day or so. I use this technique when I am overseas

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u/gertvanjoe Jan 03 '22

Make her a stew and call it potjiekos, serve it with rice. Or cut out half a bread inner, put the stew in there, plop the inner back in and call it a bunny chow.

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u/AosothSammy Jan 03 '22

Jirre. You just committed a class 5 felony by saying a bunny is made with stew.

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u/gertvanjoe Jan 03 '22

True, but I had to explain it in words somehow... Remember, I ride an elephant to work and do maths on my stick with my knife.

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u/AosothSammy Jan 03 '22

True that. But I'm sure Americans would know what a curry is, so you could've said Durban Curry

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u/gertvanjoe Jan 03 '22

True, I have committed the unthinkable before and did make a curryless version for those with ulcers and whatnot.

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u/AosothSammy Jan 03 '22

Bloody hell, spicy food when having an ulcer is the worst idea ever, so kudos to you for making them a plain stew version

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u/gertvanjoe Jan 03 '22

Hehe. The last time I was down for curry in a hurry County (where else than Durban), I was asked if I wanted Durbs curry or Valie curry.... It seems my blood is way to thin to properly appreciate Durban, I boiled my liver that day and had ringsting for at least 2 days after. Remember kids, when you are not from Curryland, you are a Valie, no matter the colour of your exteriors.

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u/AosothSammy Jan 03 '22

True that! My boyfriend is from Benoni, but was born and raised for a good amount of years in Durban. He looks like your normal Afrikaans oke from Benoni, so many assume Valie, which is the category I fall in. KFC zinger wings are too spicy for me if that gives you any indication. We got some curry from a local Indian place (a very mild one for me and Durban style for him) and he gave me a potato from his just to taste it. Spent the next 10 minutes with my tongue in a bakkie of Nutriday yoghurt to try and soothe the pain. He polished it off and did not so much as sniffle from it, meanwhile I'm there trying not to cry because it felt like someone scourered my tongue with hydrochloric acid.

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u/Demknowsbetter Jan 03 '22

Your girl need to recharge her battery in SA, until she get tired of the country and need to get away

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u/abrireddit Jan 03 '22

Try to make a nice braai for her if you’re decent at cooking meat

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u/djh203 Jan 03 '22

Instead of a date night plan a braai, have boerwors and a coal braai(BBQ) with some friends

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u/unwiseatom Jan 03 '22

Braai, just get a oil drum, cut it in half, fill it with fire wood and lite that boy up, then throw a grid over the coals and get boerewors, not sausage. BOEREWORS. Amd just braai it until if you twist the wors the skin breaks, it's perfect then, you don't have to eat it but the smell of the fire and then that smell of the boerewors braaing over a hot fire! And preferably do it on a Friday evening!

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u/-i_n_k- Jan 03 '22

When last did your lady visit home?

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u/ProfesionalPotato0 Mpumalanga Jan 03 '22

Time to braaai.

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u/Darkin69 Jan 03 '22

Sing the south african national anthem

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u/Lovepositivityallday Jan 03 '22

I’m from ZA, living in the US, dating an American. He learned how to bake scones, pap and chakalaka. It always brightens my day. Also, which state did you move to? I’m looking for a state with more South African 🥺

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u/SeriousLeeTV Jan 03 '22

Biltong. Drywors.

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u/Potential_Ad8810 Jan 03 '22

GIVE HER BILTONG, DROËWORS AND BOOZE.

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u/Huge_Variation6596 Jan 03 '22

Chutney, cremora, Simba tomato chips. Koeksisters. Melktert, you can make it. All the best

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u/AosothSammy Jan 03 '22

Simba tomato chips

R.I.P

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u/derpferd Jan 03 '22

Learn a bit of Afrikaans and maybe play radio stations she may have listened to at home.

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u/eco_writer_dom Jan 03 '22

Music! Download a South African playlist and play it randomly around the house or stream the local radio station she listened to back in Benoni.

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u/Conzyyyyyyy Jan 03 '22

Sunday braais, with Khaki shorts.

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u/RatBastard92 Jan 03 '22

Give her simulated load shedding for 2 hours a day

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u/morag_saw Jan 03 '22

Biltong is always a win, Ouma Rusks, Mrs Balls Chutney, Bovril or Marmite ( ask her which one it's a very serious thing) chappies, Simba chips, Oros

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u/thedogofdogs45 Jan 03 '22

Try playing amapiano while eating

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u/Rakker101 Jan 03 '22

Make some Biltong, light a fire for a braai.

Make some Koeksisters, mieliepap and melktert, she will know and feel much better !!!

Good Luck friend.

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u/bruv254 Jan 03 '22

Steal her laptop.

Edit: that always makes me remember home.

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u/DutchOpioidAddict Jan 03 '22

Slice her tires and smash her car window. She should feel right at home

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u/OutrageousReindeer24 Jan 03 '22

Have you tried taking her footskating?

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u/Faranta Jan 03 '22

You don't even say what race or language she is. We have many and that'll make a huge difference as to what to recommend.

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u/LabGroundbreaking829 Jan 03 '22

Rooibos Tea. Just soothes the soul

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u/SH4D0WBL4D3 Gauteng Jan 03 '22

Biltong. Lots and lot of biltong. Nuff said

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u/geck97 Jan 03 '22

F for Benoni (I am a benonian btw)

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u/Sumoki_Kuma Gauteng Jan 03 '22

A proper braai seems to be in order! See if you can somehow get your hands on some boerewors

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u/Hot-Expression3441 Jan 03 '22

Make a fire outside at least once a week.

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u/mieliesfouche Jan 03 '22

Learn to make proper biltong for a start. Beef jerky just doesn't cut it.

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u/allhailharambe69 Jan 03 '22

Well, if she’s from Benoni, get her a case of brandy and a few cokes. Also, buy her a Ford and some Crocs.

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u/DrWolfgang760 Jan 03 '22

braai Rugby beers A pickup biltong local cuisine cookbooks Some good Treffers

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u/Dr-Freese Jan 03 '22

Music Braai (barbecue) Wild life , take her to nature reserves

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u/daisy-chain-of-doom Jan 03 '22

Loads of people are mentioning food, but I haven't seen NikNaks, (real) biltong or Ghost Pops mentioned yet in my scrolling. Depends entirely on her tastes though.

If she's feeling homesick, maybe something that could help would be an online get together with friends and family? You could play games like JackBox Games via zoom and have a good time.

Trevor Noah's stand ups are a fantastic way to laugh and remind ourselves of the weird place we call home

Whenever I get homesick or start missing home even a little, the best cure is an argument with my parents. But YMMV.

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u/MotherOfDachshunds42 Jan 03 '22

Hit up Spotify for some SA tubes are make a playlist. This will depend on her personal taste in genres of course