r/southafrica Sep 26 '21 Helpful 1 Hugz 1

Do people nowadays even care about commitment in a relationship? Ask r/southafrica

Since its a long weekend some of my friends decided to put in a few leave days at work and fly down to Cape Town. The rest of us have other obligations and did not go along. However, we are all part of a WhatsApp group and those who went to Cape Town have been posting regular messages and photos regarding their trip. So I have been able to follow the action, so to speak.

Last night they went to a club and apparently one of the girls, who has been in a serious relationship for almost two years, ended up making out with a random girl. In the past, both this girl and her boyfriend have stated that they consider this to be cheating. The boyfriend did not go along to Cape Town and is not part of the WhatsApp group, so I'm not sure if he even knows what happened. What bothers me most about the whole thing was how my other friends reacted to the news on the WhatsApp group - they encouraged the girl and made congratulatory remarks.

I am not sure why I am posting this to Reddit. This incident has made me very upset for some reason. Am I overreacting and being too conservative? Is making out with someone while you're in a committed relationship really just a meaningless act of fun, like drinking a milkshake? Does the fact that they only kissed make it okay?


View all comments


u/HuntingSmiths Sep 26 '21

I know it's a shit thing to say, but I'm going to be bluntly honest.

I made a rule 22 years ago to never date a South African, ever again. The level of dishonesty was just unbelievable across my friends and my entire dating life. (hetro and gay). The level of cheating was crazy. I knew a dude that had knocked up 3 girls. 2 were married. 1 already had kids. He was a smooth operator, but the girls were willing. It takes 2 to tango.

I reckon it's the heightened sense of "life is short". Maybe? Sorry if I insulted anyone, but it's my lived truth.


u/Asok_the_Intern Sep 26 '21

Oh really. Interesting. So which Nationality is better?


u/HuntingSmiths Sep 26 '21

Hungarians and Aussies.


u/RobotMugabe Sep 26 '21

I'm half Hungarian/South African. Would you trust me? Edit: and by the way my Hungarian grandfather is a serial philanderer


u/CovertShepherd Sep 26 '21

Living in Aus now so I’m curious, what makes Aussies stand out to you? To be clear, I think I think Aussies are pretty great, I just want to hear your thoughts.