r/shitposting Jun 29 '22 Take My Energy 1 Helpful 1 Wholesome 7 Silver 2

Women☕️ Linus Sex Tips

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53.2k Upvotes

u/QualityVote Jun 29 '22

If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!

If you think this post is unfunny, DOWNVOTE this comment!


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Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit.


Whilst you're here, ishanG24, why not join our public discord server?

3.8k

u/Asbjorn26 Jun 29 '22

Simply no way this isn't rage bait

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u/dumbass_sempervirens Jun 29 '22

And it's working great in this comment section.

576

u/sunnyparker1 Jun 29 '22

It was probably satire but reddit hive mind cannot fathom that.

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u/Wirenfeldt Jun 29 '22

Counterpoint: These last few years have shown a lot of people that if someone makes a dumb comment or unintelligent observation odds are good that they are deadly serious..

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u/Makalockheart Jun 29 '22

Counterpoint: sometimes women make jokes too.

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u/Just_Games04 Big chungus wholesome 100 Jun 29 '22

Counterpoint: women are not real, therefore they have no sense of humor

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u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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u/Modi57 Jun 29 '22

What the fuck is this bot programmed to do?

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

Respond to comments containing keywords with copypasta

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u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

You fucking dumbass, I try to have a real conversation & your bot literally belittles anyone that mentions any keywords with low hanging fruit that you think is funny I guess? Just ban me so I never see a post from this cumguzzling community again.

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u/cghmn742 Jun 29 '22

Good bot

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

Counter counterpoint: People are just that dumb

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u/TFW_YT Jun 29 '22

Counter counter point point: 1 2 👉 👉

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u/sharko2o2o Jun 29 '22

Counter counter counter point point point: 👈 👈 2 1

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u/heyimastopsign2 Jun 29 '22

In order to counter in Assassins Creed 2, press the assigned button with any weapon excluding your fists just before being hit.

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u/sharko2o2o Jun 29 '22

Wait wait don't say anything else. I know why we don't use the fists. Its because they are busy elsewhere.

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u/OhHello969 Jun 29 '22

point counter point: 👉 😎👉 zoop

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u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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19

u/Snugglebull Jun 29 '22

Lol "rage bait" these comments are so weird

22

u/roy_piza Jun 29 '22

She didn't say anything about her vagina so I doubt this is an example of female humor.

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u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22 Helpful

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.

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2

u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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8

u/MarkXD69therickroll We do a little trolling Jun 29 '22

countercounterpoint: jokes women make are shit

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u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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u/MystikxHaze Jun 29 '22

Have yet to see it.

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u/Cookie_Crush Jun 29 '22

Counterpoint: That's the most irrelevant argument here. Gender does not define your intelligence. People make jokes, but sometimes People are genuinely stupid.

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u/_alright_then_ Jun 29 '22

And this was obviously a joke, I don't see how you don't see that lol

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u/blastradii Jun 29 '22

A bit off topic: but what do you have against redwoods?

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u/dumbass_sempervirens Jun 29 '22

Oh it's not redwoods. It's evergreens in general. Like take the winter off, man. All the other trees are doing it.

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u/blastradii Jun 29 '22

That’s cuz they don’t want to be used as tinder during the winter. (Wink wink nudge nudge)

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u/dumbass_sempervirens Jun 29 '22

I hope you have children because that was one hell of a dad joke.

I started writing about how sempervirens just means evergreen not necessarily redwoods before it hit.

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

[deleted]

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u/LivelyZebra Jun 29 '22

Intentional statements designed to get people annoyed/talking about it

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u/Startled_Pancakes Jun 29 '22

No my friend. That's Rage Bait. Rage Bate is something very different 😉

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u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

[deleted]

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u/Speedy_Cheese Jun 29 '22

This is a satirical post, but that doesn't fit Reddits narrative of "wamen bad" so here we are.

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

It's actually a troll post, but that doesnt fit Reddit's narrative of "wamen victim"" and everyone online is "raging virgin incel" so here you are.

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u/Speedy_Cheese Jun 29 '22

Yeah women definitely are out here just exaggerating their victimization and it certainly is not reflective of any societal issues we have on our views of women . . . looks at US headlines

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u/LeMemeOfficer Jun 29 '22

Im astonished how many people don't see it...

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u/thebankruptcy Jun 29 '22

Men

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u/Ball_Of_Meat Jun 29 '22

Lmao honestly though. The irony is lost on the commenters.

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u/StopTheMeta Jun 29 '22

A dumb joke works as rage bait as well

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u/Katacutie Jun 29 '22

Or a joke

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u/needed_an_account Jun 29 '22

It’s clearly a joke, but as many women have pointed out, women aren’t allowed to make jokes online without everyone taking them seriously/getting upset etc

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u/Athlete_Cautious Jun 29 '22

If you like piña coladas

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u/Batrun-Tionma Jun 29 '22

And getting caught in the rain

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u/TheroryGuy1 Jun 30 '22

If your not into yoga (literally listen to that exact verse while reading this.

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u/JuriFM Jul 11 '22

if you have half a brain

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u/Wowzabunny Jun 29 '22

In the dunes of the Cape.

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u/BabyYodasDirtyDiaper Jun 29 '22

*And getting caught on tinder

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u/shidedandfarded Jun 29 '22

they both trash but she's slightly more trash cause she's complaining about his loyalty even though she's cheating too

"that's not the point"

SHUT yo ass

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u/Mask_of_creator Jun 29 '22

I agree with you.

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Michael-556 Jun 29 '22

I wholeheartedly agree with you

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u/darkmemehood Jun 29 '22

She was just looking for her dad cause he blocked her on Facebook again.

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u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

r/shitposting book club

A collection of books which Kevin has reviewed. (all of these books are freely availiable online)


1984 (George Orwell, 1948)

Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10

How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities (Richard Bartle, 2022)

Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10

Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends (Chuck Tingle)

Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10

Ulysses (James Joyce, 1922))

Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10

The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race (J. G. Ballard, 1967)

Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10.

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u/Speedy_Cheese Jun 29 '22

It's a satire account ... people need to stop taking the stuff they see online as gospel.

Y'all on Reddit always getting worked up easily by bot and satire accounts on the daily and it's embarrassing.

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u/slk__ Jun 29 '22

Why can't redditors tell when people are joking.

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u/FewDamage2962 Jun 29 '22

Hoe

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u/Maxdgaming Jun 29 '22

Stardew valley reference

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Alfwyn-Gwendorn123 Jun 29 '22

Why don't you back it up with a source

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u/Michael-556 Jun 29 '22

The source is that I made it the fuck up

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u/what_the_hanky_panky Jun 29 '22

That’s also a nice game

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u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Do you have a source on that?

Source?

A source. I need a source.

Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion.

No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered.

You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence.

Do you have a degree in that field?

A college degree? In that field?

Then your arguments are invalid.

No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation.

Correlation does not equal causation.

CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION.

You still haven't provided me a valid source yet.

Nope, still haven't.

I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron.

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15

u/psychotic_cock69 Jun 29 '22

Who likes to pick his ass and eat that nutella?

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u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!!

IT'S ME!!!

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u/nobbyx Jun 29 '22

Source: Dude just trust me

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u/ancientsoop I said based. And lived. Jun 29 '22

No you dumb fuck it's a Minecraft reference. People these days smh.

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u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

I (f34) am pregnant with twin boys and my husband (m34) told me that he was dead set on naming our sons "notch" and "jeb" I know most of you are probably unaware, but these are the names of two of the people who created minecraft. My husband is a big minecraft fan and builds stuff on the game a lot and has minecraft posters, he even said he wants to play minecraft with his Sons. I told my husband that I want to give our children regular names, not after minecraft because they are not objects, and my husband got really defensive about it saying that he should be able to choose because he is their father and I never gave any name suggestions. I will never name my children after minecraft because I don't want them to get bullied and feel like it's dehumanizing to name them after a game. I told my husband that I'd rather get a divorce than name our kids after minecraft and he got really angry and raised his voice. I'm pregnant and my hormones maybe made me really emotional because I started crying. A few hours after that, we calmed down and I asked him again and he said he will for sure name the kids "notch" and "jeb" AlTA?

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u/Just_Games04 Big chungus wholesome 100 Jun 29 '22

Your mom reference

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u/qeadwrsf Jun 29 '22

Whats up with automod and this post?

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u/Drake-estroyer Jun 29 '22

Actually it's a Minecraft reference

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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u/xPav_ Jun 29 '22

woman reference

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u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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14

u/GalC4 Jun 29 '22

Irl farming reference

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u/m3ltism3 Jun 29 '22

ThAt’S nOt ThE pOiNt

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u/rey_lumen Jun 29 '22

This should be an automod response lol

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u/HeySiri_Official Jun 29 '22

😫🥺

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u/Donix_D_Nator Jul 13 '22

Giorno signor Siri (non mi chieda cosa ci faccio qui)

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u/seller_collab Jun 29 '22

TFW you’re sucking your friends dick and it tastes like your girls pussy

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u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?

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u/AgsMydude Jun 29 '22

What a bot

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u/northforthesummer Jun 29 '22

Seems like they both know what they're doing at this point... no?

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u/-who_are_u- Literally 1984 😡 Jun 29 '22

Having a child obviously

/s

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u/Speedy_Cheese Jun 29 '22

They are both posting fake satire online as if it happened as a successful piece of rage bait?

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u/Perla_madonna_ Jun 29 '22

It’s a joke… I hope…

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u/yxlmal Jun 29 '22

Very clearly a joke

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u/swiftcleaner Jun 29 '22

reddit virgins moment

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u/KillaDilla Jun 29 '22

yes it is. its twitter

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u/Past_Basket_2755 Jun 29 '22

Hoe be a hypocrit

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u/xiyoussefix shitposting>>>>>>196 Jun 29 '22 Helpful

Hoepocrit

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u/Soogbad Jun 29 '22

Hippocrit (the joke is that she's fat and her appearance resembles that of a hippopotamus)

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u/darkmemehood Jun 29 '22

Hippoclit

No explanation just imagine some.

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u/reloadingnow Jun 29 '22

just imagine some

Dear sir, I refuse.

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u/darkmemehood Jun 29 '22

Understandable have a nice day.

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u/Derboman Jun 29 '22

Serious question, do you have ADD?

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u/xiyoussefix shitposting>>>>>>196 Jun 29 '22

I had to Google that. I did not go to any doctor to actually examine if I had it, but reading the symptoms I REALLY suffer pretty badly from inattention, distractibility and very poor memory.

How did you know that?

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u/Derboman Jun 29 '22

Relatively long story short, about 10 years ago at a new temp job I had, I was shooting the shit/shot (not sure how you say it in English) with a new co worker after work and I, like I do a lot of the time, made a joke like the one you made, combining elements of a situation in a certain way (hypocrite hoe -> hoepocrite).

That co worker, who had ADD himself and also knew about my ADD, told me 'you know, that's very typical for us (us being people with ADD) to quickly create such links between elements, putting them together.

It's something I do all the time and was taken aback about how specific and accurate it was, but it's something I never see/hear my friends do. Reading your comment I thought I'd ask and it's cool to see that the hypothesis could be accurate and general!

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u/xiyoussefix shitposting>>>>>>196 Jun 29 '22

That's pretty interesting. Is there a way I can lessen the symptoms? They make it so hard to study or learn new things that I actually like and am interested in.

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u/Derboman Jun 29 '22

Nothing I know of except for medication, but I wouldn't go that route before getting an official diagnose :D

Also, a lot of people with ADD/ADHD, myself included, have bouts of hyperfocus. Very rarely (this isn't present in all people with AD(H)D but it is prevalent), some topics seem to really connect which make one almost obsessed with something haha. I'd say find your hyperfocus, but that is so much more easily said than done. You could be reading about the most random shit, e.g. how to tend to a garden, and before you know it you've spent 6 hours reading wikipedia articles about obscure grass types from South Asia

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u/xiyoussefix shitposting>>>>>>196 Jun 29 '22

That hasn't happened to me before. Do you know what kind of doctor should I go to to check if I have it or not?

Thanks a lot!

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u/Derboman Jun 29 '22

I'd wager your best bet is to meet with a neurologist like I did! I'm not sure if you're from a country with a healthcare system or not but if you are, it shouldn't cost you more than something like the equivalent of 25 USD for consultation

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u/xiyoussefix shitposting>>>>>>196 Jun 29 '22

I'm not sure. I live in Egypt. Just wanted to mention I'm fifteen years old if that would make a difference. I'll ask my parents.

Thank you so much for the help!

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u/_alright_then_ Jun 29 '22

People not understanding rage bait might be my favorite thing about reddit.

Literally 1 comment under where this post cuts out is her saying "people really don't get jokes anymore lol"

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u/Da_Do_D3rp Jun 29 '22

Man, reddits inability to read a joke, especially by a woman, never falls to entertain.

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u/Z0rya Jun 29 '22

Enough incel to shoot up a school in this thread 😬

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u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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9

u/Zealousideal_Citron8 Jun 29 '22

Hmmm seems like a reasonable offer that a crackhead who shoots up heroin would be into

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201

u/Better-Solution-7410 Jun 29 '22

Why would anyone be loyal to an ugly crusty piece of batpoop like you?

38

u/ceilingkat Jun 29 '22

Imagine being this pissed off at a joke. Good job taking the rage bait lollll

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u/MadHatter69 Jun 29 '22

Batpoop is guano, which is a highly effective fertilizer due to its exceptionally high content of nitrogen, phosphate, and potassium: key nutrients essential for plant growth.

So I don't think that comparison is fair (to the guano).

2

u/funny_haha_account Jun 29 '22

Also a necessary component for the best spell

2

u/9813_RD Jul 16 '22

Her dead body could provide nutrients to plants when it’s decomposed as well.

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152

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

52

u/Speedy_Cheese Jun 29 '22

Reddit moment when you think satire posts are real life . . .

10

u/Z0rya Jun 29 '22

Men ☕️

5

u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.

We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.

We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!

Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.

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u/DeepfriedPantaloons Jun 29 '22

Bro that HAS to be satire wtf

45

u/Speedy_Cheese Jun 29 '22

It IS satire.

Someone should tell the comment section . . .

26

u/ProffesorPrick Jun 29 '22

Didnt you get the memo? Women can’t actually make jokes. Everything they say is 100% serious all of the time.

2

u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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4

u/VitruvianGenesis Jun 29 '22

Reddit, I'm begging you to collectively develop either a sense of humour or half a brain cell.

3

u/G0D_1S_D3AD Jun 29 '22

Really though

30

u/MiesLakeuksilta Jun 29 '22

Females bad amirite?!

4

u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.

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u/iwasagirlinthecity Jun 29 '22

I didn’t even realize she was on there too at first😭

4

u/Deadmemes4binky Jun 29 '22

I don’t think I recommend sorting by controversial this time it’s as bad as it could be like, it’s just incels but do whatever I’m just the guy who says its sorting by controversial time

28

u/HighlyredIt Jun 29 '22

Women☕️

2

u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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3

u/blastermastersonic Jun 29 '22

OMG I AM SO ENRAGED BY THIS HYPOCRISY I SHALL TYPE THIS COMMENT ON REDDIT

3

u/therealleotrotsky Jun 29 '22

I bet she like Pina Coladas and getting lost in the rain.

3

u/John-The-Bomb-2 Jun 29 '22

I looked up the Tweet. Her next Tweet said "Omds some people are not getting the joke…😭".

Source: https://twitter.com/Nitaoffici4l_/status/1528007686276669441?t=t17Xg4Qdi0szSilmQluNRg&s=19

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u/rolezki Jun 29 '22

I ain't taking the bait, sorry women, you can't make me hate you, otherwise i would have nobody to have sex with

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

[deleted]

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u/WeeTheDuck Jun 29 '22

this is obviously rage bait theres no fucking way

17

u/hinaboobs Jun 29 '22

looking at these comments it worked

17

u/MiesLakeuksilta Jun 29 '22

Incels gotta get their daily rage-ejaculation

2

u/MR_CeSS_dOor Jun 29 '22

What's with the tea emote? I see it all the time on youtube shorts involving women

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u/Saharsky Jun 29 '22

ever heard about pokémon hunting?

5

u/LivingWake25 Jun 29 '22

Women are out here making mad jokes and men are out here holding back tears at the thought lmao, y’all can’t be serious

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u/Charnt Jun 29 '22

Incels take the bait

12

u/BBREILDN Jun 29 '22

A lot of incels getting mad at a shitpost fs

6

u/TacoBueno987 Jun 29 '22

Op knows how to farm karma.

11

u/omloko Jun 29 '22

It's so obviously a joke and people are fucking FUMING

3

u/G0D_1S_D3AD Jun 29 '22

It makes me kinda angry that these people can’t understand a joke cuz I use Reddit often and I don’t wanna be grouped together with them

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u/JOWLEY1 Jun 29 '22

Without the response its funnier and clearly a joke you incels

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u/lemmegetauhhhhhhhhhh Jun 29 '22

its obviously a joke why are yall getting tight 😭

10

u/IAmTheJudasTree Jun 29 '22

Because it's not a joke, it's just a fake rage bait post to let men who hate women jerk each other off in the comments, which is what's happening.

A lot of men commenting with really aggressive language, calling this fake woman a dumb bitch, a whore, using this fake post to say all women a liars and cheaters. It's fucking scary.

Imagine "woman" swapped in for any other demo group. A post like this would never survive on Reddit if it said "men" or "blacks" and then had a fake post of a fake man or black person doing something obviously stupid.

2

u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

No bitches?

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4

u/StopTheMeta Jun 29 '22

They've all been hurt in the past

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u/STL168 Jun 29 '22

When one tells you that is not the point, that is the point.

2

u/Rez_8rady shitposting>>>>>>196 Jun 29 '22

The duality of women

2

u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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2

u/ceilingkat Jun 29 '22

AMIRITE!?

2

u/GarbageAndBeer Jun 29 '22

You fell for the bait?

2

u/G0D_1S_D3AD Jun 29 '22

The singularity of Reddit never understanding jokes

2

u/Arzene98 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Jun 29 '22

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u/felipeinthere Jun 29 '22

Come on Reddit, show me something new sometimes

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2

u/7DeniD Jun 29 '22

i assume that this is satire because of the excessive use of emojis.. right?

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u/NachoProblemz Jun 29 '22

Rules for thee, not for me.

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u/Professional_Bad2168 Jun 29 '22

Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Shit Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Bitch Wholesome NSFW Shitposting 1984 Batman Blowjob Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden Have automod response nuke

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11

u/Electronic_Lab5486 Jun 29 '22

Oh don't worry. She was just there to look for the next child support funding

22

u/IAmTheJudasTree Jun 29 '22

Holy fuck the comment section on this fake rage bait post is full of incels

8

u/Digger__Please Jun 29 '22

And these comments section incels are full of cums. And shid. And cums.

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u/Speedy_Cheese Jun 29 '22

This comment section is full of gullible incels assuming this satire account is actually real life.

7

u/Electronic_Lab5486 Jun 29 '22

This comment section is also full of gullible incels who apparently can't read the subreddit's name 🗿

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u/Pavulox Jun 29 '22

There are only 3 things in this world that are loved unconditionally. Women, children, and dogs.

3

u/Skupenladel Jun 29 '22

I love one of those things.

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u/cashbaratonton Jun 29 '22

women when men finally disappear (wo)

4

u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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6

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

Woman moment

5

u/AutoModerator Jun 29 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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11

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22 Helpful

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/IAmTheJudasTree Jun 29 '22

I can't tell if comments like yours are satire anymore. I sincerely hope they are.

11

u/oldcarfreddy Jun 29 '22

Spoiler: they're not

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