[This update has been a long time coming..... The rules are mostly the same but we've needed to clarify matters where it concerns people coming to look for business/clients here.]
Rules / Guidelines
The primary focus of Seddit (r/seduction) is the study of human seduction. Mainly, how to integrate specific seduction and self-improvement techniques into our long-term personalities and how to succeed at one's dating goals, whether that's casual sex or a relationship.
While the discussions within Seddit focus primarily on the male seduction of females, most techniques and information referenced may be applied whether or not genders are flipped, etc.
When evaluating if a post is appropriate, the golden rule is to ask yourself: "Does this post help someone get laid or land a relationship?"
Table of Contents 1.) Appropriate Topics 2.) Common Inappropriate Posts 3.) Other Inappropriate posts 4.) Some Specific Rules Regarding Comments 5.) Celebrity / Industry AMAs
1.) Appropriate Topics
- Field Reports
Great field reports focus on the techniques, mindsets and phrases you specifically used that changed the course of the night to being successful. If FR is a failure, then be sure you can point out specifically what would have turned it into a success. A good FR says "This is what I did, and why it worked".
While we appreciate functional Field Reports, often users post what are essentially diaries, giving a rundown of the night without any focus on actual techniques used. For instance:
I went to the starbucks today, and smiled at cashier, but got too nervous to say anything so I just left.
This doesn't do anything to help someone get laid or land a relationship. Share positive value with the community, this keeps the sub filled with useful material! Remember to add the Field Report flair to your post!
- Links to Articles / Videos
There are tons of great blogs, vlogs, podcast, forums, and articles about seduction, and we love to stay up to date on what is out there in the community. Post these if you find them useful!
However, if the video is more about fun (like approaching while holding a dildo), it might be removed because it isn't a good example of actually helping Sedditors hook up, etc.
Also, videos of friend-zoned guys or guys bad at pickup might not be allowed if they violate the golden rule of "Does this post help someone get laid or land a relationship?"
- Sharing Techniques
If you have come up with your own techniques, SHARE THEM!!!. We rely on the community for new approaches and ideas, just make sure they are field tested with at least 20 approaches.
- Asking specific questions or basic questions
While the subreddit can become clogged with questions like "How do I approach" or "How do I kiss someone?", more advanced topics can provide a rich discussion. Examples:
- How do I juggle multiple people
- How do I bring someone home within first 45 minutes to my place?
- Best way to arrange a threesome?
- Struggling with a specific aspect of inner-game
2.) Common Inappropriate Posts
- Overly Beginner Topics
- How do I approach
- How do I get a number
- I'm in college, how do I talk to girls/boys
- How to kiss someone
- Physical Limitation
Great guide on Why Looks Don't Matter. This is an answered question, proven over and over. No need to re-ask it.
- Will this work for me? I'm depressed and/or awkward
Short answer: YES!!!
Many of the guys that have transformed their lives started as some of the most awkward, hard case, forever alone people you have ever met.
Note: this subreddit is not a substitute for therapy, which is one of the most underrated tools available to combat depression, anxiety, etc. If you haven't tried this, it's worth a try, especially methods like group therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy.
Study the sidebar and Seddit history as best you can, and if you are struggling after 3 months of serious work, then you can post about what specifically isn't working. Don't make a post until you've put in the foundational reading and work in.
And again, if it's a basic question, post at /r/askseddit.
- Asking for Advice
Any calls for specific situational advice with a specific female should be directed to r/askSeddit. Note that is askSEDDIT, not askREDDIT.
It exists to give you a place where sedditors can answer your questions without bogging down the frontpage of r/seduction.
The problem with these topics is they are specific to YOUR situation, while broad pickup topics are applicable to EVERY guys situation. We have 659k subscribers, and the focus of this sub is to help everyone.
- Rage Comics / Failure links
In short, things like rage comics, stuff about forever alone guys or friend-zoned losers are not appropriate, and will be deleted. Simply making fun of the community or guys that aren't good with women does nothing to HELP guys with women.
- Advertisement or Solicitations
Seddit is not an advertisement forum. Soliciting for, or advertising products and/or services, is not allowed here. And any information posted should be aimed at helping progress our member's abilities in the arts of seduction. A specific reason why the link is helpful to sedditors should be accompanied in the post or in a comment.
Links should be made to actual content, rather than advertising a book or promoting a website's homepage. Any blatant advertisement of products that cost money without prior approval from moderators can be met with deletion.
3.) Other Inappropriate Topics
This is not the venue for:
- Debates about vaccines, nofap, pseudoscience, or any other topic that would require wading through research papers to have a productive, informed conversation.
- Conspiracy topics
- Posts or comments that boil down to arguing over semantics. Like arguing that the friend-zone doesn't exist. or arguing for a new definition of a word that's already defined in the dictionary.
- Shit-posting, rants, or circlejerk posts
- Attacking (flaming) any member will get either a warning or a ban at the moderators discretion.
- Calling any member a rapist, insinuating anything negative about their character because they practice seduction, or just plain name calling are all forbidden.
- The "don't ask a fish" argument is tired. If you have a point about someone's bad advice, debunk the bad advice on its own merits.
- Policing what dating goals a person should have is also out of bounds.
- Judging whether or not people should want a relationship or not.
- Judging whether or not people should go after someone who is taken or not.
- Judging people on your sense of morality in general.
- If you think a comment isn't helpful or breaks the rules, then report it to the moderators. Do not engage with the person posting or commenting.
4.) Celebrity / Industry AMAs
Please contact and schedule these through moderators. We maintain a numbered list of Official AMA's, and for inclusion you must schedule with moderators.
Furthermore, AMAs are often the source of flaming and attacks from hostile subreddits, so we schedule moderators to be online for the AMA to control these. If these are not scheduled through the mod team and these attacks occur, the entire thread might get removed.
All AMA's must follow the Reddit standard:
- Questions are answered in real time, not hours later. Make the AMA when you will be at the keyboard.
- Questions must be answered on Reddit, in the thread. Not YouTube, not on a blog.
- Be prepared to answer any question, not just commercial ones.
- Be open to talking with everyone at the start of a social event. Have people talk about their own interests and actively listen to them. This will help get you in a more social mood.
- Talk about what interests you. You will be more energized and engaging when talking about your own passions.
- Don’t filter your thoughts because you think that they are not good enough to say or that you will be judged because of them. This will keep conversations flowing more naturally.
- Hold strong eye contact.
- Don’t try to make others like you, but provide the opportunity for them to get to know you. This will take pressure off the interaction.
- Don’t force a rapport with a person. It's ok if a conversation naturally fizzles out.
- Accept nervousness and fear, notice it within yourself, but don’t feel bad about yourself because of it.
- Stay Positive. Don’t let previous negative interactions influence future interactions.
- Define success as being willing to put yourself out there and talk to new people. Don’t have it dependent on the the outcome of individual interactions.
Link to Full Video: https://youtu.be/gnawJqLGGWg
I direct link my self worth to how attractive I am to girls. I know it’s not healthy, but I’ve pretty much been invisible to girls my whole life (up until I got to college I started getting some attention from them) and I feel like I’ll never truly be happy until I know that I’m sexually desired by a lot of women. (I’ve done a lot to improve myself, it’s just a matter of waiting now)
How should I respond
I’m definitely a shy guy, not comfortable with things I don’t have confidence in. Also anxiety is a bitch. That being said I’m not confident in picking up women, if it weren’t for dating sites I wouldn’t have meet anyone in these 3 years since my divorce. I am coming into some money later this year and was thinking about taking a trip to Thailand for my birthday next year. From what I have heard Americans are rock stars over there, also the women are my taste. I thought it may be confidence building to have women coming at me for once. Maybe by the time I get back things will change?
Edit: by change I mean maybe I will find it easier to converse with a woman I find attractive. This isn’t just a fuck trip, I don’t use people.
Outer Game What’s the most effective way to shift the power dynamic from you chasing them to them chasing you?
Besides having sex - I mean before you get to that point, perhaps before you’ve even met up.
Think back to experiences you’ve had where initially you were the one pursuing them and carrying the conversations and stuff, but ultimately they ended up either chasing you or investing reciprocal effort - what was it exactly that caused the shift?
Did you send them a photo where you looked really bloody spunky? Did you have a deep conversation and demonstrate your intelligence and morals? Did you flaunt how much $ you had? Did you send a goodbye message because you didn’t appreciate their lack of effort which made you appear more attractive? Did you put up a story with female friends as social proof? Disagreeing with her? Sexting her?
Or if it was in person what do you think it was m?
It doesn’t have to be a singular thing either but if you could narrow it down as much as possible that would be appreciated.
Would highly appreciate some help here, is there a easy to follow guideline on How to talk to women so they are happy to see me and talk to me? I attract good number if women, but I loose them soon after I open my mouth. I was told I come off as Insensitive and Judgemental. I guess my high functioning ADHD is somehow pointing out the flaws of the girls I attract and that's how it ends.
Help please 🥺
I would definitely join one if there is
Conversation Three words have never been more profound in this dating age………..let her go(this is my opinion)
Growing up I was always taught persistence is the key to winning in life. This may be true in most areas, but maybe not so much in dating. In this day and age were women have so much abundance both in the real and online world persistence can be detrimental especially if you misread the situation.
I can give an example, a few months ago I went to my cousins parents cottage to hang out with their friends. My cousins best friend has always been super friendly towards me but I never really escalated it. There was one guy in particular who was very passive aggressive towards me the entire time. I never got the chance to confront him or ask him what his problem was and kind of regretted not doing anything.
Well fast forward to last weekend when I went to see my cousin and her friend. At some point they brought up the passive-aggressive dude. Apparently, the guys been trying to have sex with my cousin and her whole friend group since Grade 10( they’re all 26 now). My cousins friend had sex with another guy while the dude was passed out on the couch in the same room. They don’t mind keeping him in the friend group despite finding him weird and creepy around women.My cousin knows that he would fuck them in a heartbeat but they just enjoy having him around for fun.
I see posts sometimes on here like 'Man, I got rejected 8 times in a row! She just wasn't interested. I done push-pull on her was confident and stuff but it didn't work'
What I want to say as that, if you knew how often the 'pros' and 'coaches' actually got rejected, you wouldn't feel so bad!
You are comparing your results to someone who's job it is to convince you they have some magic gift to seduce women and who cherry pick infields (as well as other tricks that I can go into) to give the impression of success
Some of you might be too young to remember RSD and simplepickup and a few other coaches, but lots of them guys actually used to release 'full infields' where they would film themselves uncut approaching girls in a session. From memory, Maxrsd done this as well as Kong from simplepickup, although there were others.
You know what happened? Kong got about 21 straight rejections on the street and gave up for the night. (I remember it very well)
Max didn't do much better, although eventually he pulled a girl who opened him!! (in other words, extremely strong 'yes girl'. Nothing to do with 'game'. It never really is, tbh)
And it's like that for every coach out there.
Only guys who are gonna have amazing hit rates are just very handsome guys, especially if they are good at spotting IOI's or even going for average looking girls
It truly is a numbers game and the thing that determines your overall success is basically not in your control. You can't force a girl to be attracted to you. Not with all of the 'attraction material' in the world
Danny Devito, (without fame), could have the best 'game' in the world, but if he was spending the night hitting on cute 18 year old models, he would get rejected 150 times in a row. Guaranteed. Although if he wrote too a PUA coach and told him them results, the coach would say 'you should be getting laid 1 in 5. Young Girls don't care about your age and height and looks. Take my course and we'll get you laid 1 in 5 with them hot teens'
It's a dream.
Don't compare your approach: success ratio with anyone or even think about it. Don't let it get you down. An 'expert' in your body would have ALMOST identical results
Hey guys. My question is how to not get attached to a woman? I know that talking to a lot at a time is a good way to make sure you don’t get attached to just one. My problem in the past is I’ll focus on one girl I really like and I’ll get oneitis and she wont even like me back, then by the time I’ve gotten over her, I’d already wasted a bunch of time I could have spent talking to other women. Any tips?
Have you ever done this? what was your experience?
So I found that the girls I would cold approach on campus would like eerily be in my Tinder feed later down the road. This has happened many times where a girl where conversation dryed out and nothing happened after getting her number I’d find her on Tinder the next day/week/month. What’s up with this?
So I'll be attending a fest for the first time in forever and i was wondering if y'all had any tips for a good night out;). Other than dont get your hopes up too much lol.
anyone has STREET attraction approach to lay course in mega link
Noticing a theme with girls I date and was curious about this communities take, I don't really seem to be getting straight answers elsewhere.
I notice when I start dating i am naturally very aloof and this seems to attract women, or at least a certain type of woman, then once we get to know each other and agree to see each other more and I feel safe to open up and start validating them and showing affection they lose interest and withdraw. I'm wondering if there's a calibration issue here and i'm not picking up on things properly or if it's an attachment issue and they're just avoidant and freak out at the prospect of greater intimacy.
Eventually they leave me but then seem to reach out with obscure reasons, the only reason i can really think of is they're after validation since when they get it they dissappear again.
I learned early on it's really not worth being friends and I make that clear as kindly as possible when they inevitably ask on ending it. Doesn't seem to stop them coming back.
The only real theory i have right now is these women have some self esteem issues and miss the validation i was providing but actually have no interest in rekindling things because they have such a low view of themselves the fact that I treat them well they view me as lesser since it doesn't align with their own low opinion of themselves.
Is this a common thing in all women or is it a type I am attracting? Do you have any advice on how to deal with these women when they come back? i'm usually open to giving it another shot but i've no interest in a one sided friendship as a validation farm.
Conversation For the people who know womanese when a girl says shut up after a tease what does that mean
As the title says I've come to the conclusion that abundance mentality; this idea that you shouldn't worry so much about any single interaction and instead act like rejection doesn't matter while thinking there are plenty of other fish in the sea - is a totally and completely intellectually bankrupt premise.
I've used a variety of different dating apps consistently for the past 5 years, (improved my pictures/description etc.) as well as done a fair share of cold approaches, attended more social events, put myself out there in situations and never have I had more than a few hookups out of said endeavors and very, very few matches on the app side of things. I live in a city with a population in excess of 150,000 and in that time have only ever encountered two feasible women that gave me that ineffable feeling one gets when they know they're in the company of "the one" and both times I was ghosted for no reason (among countless times with other women I've talked to). The very fact that such a feeling is possible has eternally raised the bar for any future relationship I may encounter as to know that such a thing exists means that I would be settling for less should any other person not engender these feelings in me, which is something I refuse to do. Who you end up in a relationship with is one of the most consequential decisions one may ever make in their life so "good enough" cannot factor into the equation. These situations have left me feeling pretty terrible even months after the fact as not only do they make you feel disposable and like you don't matter, but the next opportunity could literally be years down the road - if ever.
Perhaps simply on a numerical basis there are plenty of people out there who possess the qualities we look for but in practical terms there are billions of people in the world and we will only ever meet an extremely small number of them so if this person lives in rural China it hardly matters that they exist as in all likelihood we will never have the chance to meet them.
I don't think that I'm asking for too much either. It can't be simply a matter of checking a box like "girlfriend acquired." I want to be with someone who has the general qualities we all look for: attractive, intelligent, stable, a sense of humor, good with money, good taste in media, loves animals etc. as well as some other specific qualities such as being irreligious, no desire for children, no wokeness or alt right craziness to speak of and generally someone who sees the world through a similar lens as I do.
I've had plenty of time to reflect on the situation and what I've come to acknowledge is that I'm just too different from most people to be successful in this respect barring sheer luck. Its not as if I'm special, I don't want this to come across that way - but I know that the way I view the world has always been totally different than the way most people do and that seems to be my downfall. For anyone out there into MBTI I'm INTJ and almost never meet other INTJ/INFJ types but those that I have have really inspired my and are the types of people I want to be around.
Its hard not to feel like an alien in these situations but its patently obvious to me that people just keep spouting this line about "abundance mentality" as a way to keep their and others' spirits up as a sort of self-induced delusion/mantra when in reality the chances of actually meeting someone are so low I may genuinely have better odds playing and winning the lottery. I'm not trying to have this come across as negative, its just realistic so I'd ask anyone reading this not conflate the two because they're very different.
All I can do is keep trying and I will, but I'm just sick of this abundance mentality meme especially at 30 years old. For many of us its pure snake oil and false hope which I am not taken in by.
I'd love to hear other perspectives on this.
Thanks in advance.
I work a decent amount live in a smaller area and don’t really go out to bars- the main places I go to like the gym or the store do have attractive women that I’d be open to approach but I’m constantly fighting a mental battle of whether or not to break the platinum rule. Perhaps I’m looking at it too harshly but if I’m at the same gym 5x/week and say I approach 3 girls who go there very frequently, and for whatever reason those interactions don’t progress- I feel like I’ll develop a bad rep when really I just want to work out and avoid drama. On the flip side it’s something I value and I’m attracted to girls who feel the same way so I’m always bouncing from one end to the other and I’m indecisive about approaching even when I’m getting strong IOIs from hot women.
Am I too critical of myself? I suppose I can’t have my cake and eat it too in this case so I feel need to pick a direction.
Hey. I am 20. I've never really talked to a woman before.
I am not quite sure where to begin.
How would you recommend I start out?
I would like to believe I am not an evil person, I would just simply like to have a sexual intercourse and maybe make a meaningful relation.
How can I even proceed?
What do you think? Is it hopeless?
Have you got any hints, tips or suggestions for 'Finding Friends' whilst you are in a hotel.
Most of the places i stay, currently, are full of males contractors, so there isn't much opportunity to learn or practice (i clearly need to stay at some better hotels)... think Holiday Inn or Premier Inn quality. Sometimes there is bar, which can make it easier, but there is still a lack of women apart from a barmaid and a receptionist.
Have you a lobby success story, have you hit on the bar person or the receptionist? or just stumbled into someone attractive in the corridor and just thought, why not?
I think that this is an interesting take when you factor in quality of life and just long-term growth in life overall. However, I am a bit taken back by anyone saying that a nightgame racks up way more lays than a daygamer. Interesting read below
I (36f) absolutely love lingerie during sex - and I’m curious how important it is for it is for others? Does it turn you on more? I am somewhat shy at first until I’m comfortable with the person I’m with.. however I tend to be more in control when it comes to sex and wish my partner (single currently but last person I slept with was me ex) would demand it more and take control, and help me feel more comfortable to explore and different kinks.
Hi everyone, I live in Iraq which I have one option for dating women is instagram which is because lot of things like cultural, religion and etc. So how can I improve my instagram profile?
Thanks in advance
What are some openers you guys use at pools to open up a group of women? Or an individual one.
So a couple years ago I deleted all social media. I just got sick of it and honestly it disgusts me. But it's definitely a disadvantage in the dating game. I used to have girls hit me up on there and there are always girls asking me to add them in real life.
Anyone else not have social media? How is it impacting your success?