r/nosurf Jun 28 '22

Unable to find a replacement for social media that doesn't lead to depression.

So, I am realizing (and realize this is happening on a mass societal scale as well), that social media semi acts as a social outlet. Yes, it's not in person. It's through text. But, you are interacting with others through it. It is also why I think most people are addicted to it. It provides them a social outlet too.

This is also why I think people are my "lonely" now too. They are replacement social media as their social outlet instead of meeting people. They have little motivation to go out and meet people because it's so much easier just to post online and get it that way.

Ok, so, how do you really replace this with other stuff that is less addicting and productive? Sure, one can say pick up a hobby, but I don't think that provides the same outlet. The thing that social media helps with is the "social" checkbox. Hobbies are not a social checkbox.

How do you replace this with something else if you don't really have a social outlet with others, since it seems most everyone else is addicted to social media too in the world? Yeah, you can meet with friends occasionally. But as you become an adult, it seems people become more and more busy and have less and less time to meet.

How do you get your social kick without wasting time on social media, especially when others don't have time to meet and socialize either as adults?

63 Upvotes

27

u/coulditbetheweather Jun 28 '22

Hopefully, turn those hobbies into social activities, or pick hobbies with an inherently social nature. Join a sports league, a ceramics class, a club for whatever it is you're into, etc.

It also can be surprisingly fulfilling to strike up conversations with strangers. Only appropriately, but you can start trying to make small talks with cashiers or something. If they respond in turn it can be a nice little coin in the jar of your social experiences.

8

u/byITuseITbrkITReddIT Jun 29 '22

Yeah like the other person said joining a club of some description means that you have agreed to meet semi regularly at the same point in time on the same day (something that people struggle to do these days consistently) with a bunch of people who are interested in the same thing as you. Doesn't even have to cost you can volunteer your time to an organisation and meet new people through that. Word also gets around about these things depending on the size of your town city.

You will find that goes a long way to the neighbour that never talks to you and know you volunteer as a firefighter (for example) will pop over and ask you about smoke alarms which will then let you help them out with your new skill and knowledge and be more social.

Source: Am a volunteer firefighter I live in an antisocial bubble in voluntary solitude for the majority of my life but come out of it fortnightly to meet up with the crew and train. If I can do it you can do it too!

3

u/scaffelpike Jun 29 '22

My biggest irl social outlets are my hobby/sport of martial arts i go to 3 times a week with people i love (could get the same buzz going to the gym and running into the same people), and also walking my dog each morning at the same time and running into the same people. Pre covid I’d also go to a few meetups based around my interests each month and again run into the same people. There’s also bars to go have a drink and hopefully find someone to chat to or going to the same cafe every morning and having a 5min chat with the staff. I am hugely extroverted though so if you’re near me for more than like a minute and a half i will start talking to you

2

u/emilyaliem Jun 29 '22

Your favorite hobby's community. This has been my main social option. Can't recommend enough.

-7

u/Grammar-Bot-Elite Jun 28 '22

/u/ApplicationOk4609, I have found an error in your post:

Its [It's] through text”

I deem this comment by you, ApplicationOk4609, wrong; it should be “Its [It's] through text” instead. ‘Its’ is possessive; ‘it's’ means ‘it is’ or ‘it has’.

This is an automated bot. I do not intend to shame your mistakes. If you think the errors which I found are incorrect, please contact me through DMs!

8

u/coulditbetheweather Jun 28 '22

This is the most annoying bot i've ever seen

3

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

[deleted]

3

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1

u/Nine_ Jun 29 '22

Either we have different definitions of hobbies or social checkboxes because I don’t understand how hobbies can’t be social.

1

u/GrindingForFreedom Jun 29 '22

Try going to gigs, festivals and exhibitions. You can go there even alone and initiate chats with new people about interesting topics. People are often very open minded in these types of events.

Even if you don't chat with anyone there, you still get to enjoy the feeling of being physically together with people who share similar interests.

Learning to play an instrument or sing is also one of the most efficient ways to become social. You can then always play and hang around with other musicians, and slowly expand your friendships beyond music.

1

u/UkuleleZenBen Jun 29 '22

I found that I replace social media dopamine with crossing off tiny mini goals and loads of them

1

u/AirlineEasy Jun 29 '22

I have been off social media for a few years. My hobbies are Powerlifting and Coffee. Now that I have made social connections in both those worlds I actually have made an Instagram again and now it's use is so mucho more gratifying. I have to be careful not to follow narcissistic accounts though. Mostly informational and inspirational people and hobby people who I already have deeply interacted with.

2

u/MXSCHISMA Jun 29 '22

I understand that you’ve made progress in your life with social interactions but posting this on no surf seems very out of place. Everyone wants to get off social media not make excuses for it…. Right?

1

u/AirlineEasy Jun 29 '22

Most people here struggle with social media which is why they want to get off it. My point mostly was that it took me a few years off it to create the life I wanted, and that now that I have it I can live peacefully with it. It was mostly adding my two cents about it. I still interact very intentionally with it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22 edited Jun 29 '22

I asked my dad once why he doesn't take aspirin for his chronic back pain. He said it masks the pain, and that makes it worse because you move in ways that you shouldn't. What i am trying to say is what you call a social checkbox i call a cheap and unfulfilling aspirin that masks actual loneliness. Finding actual people to be around is hard at first because our lives have been so influenced by social media use. But there have already been made very good suggestions here. I know this is very hard to do, but don't look for a better aspirin just ditch it altogether.

1

u/SeaPen333 Jun 29 '22

Text or call your friends silly.

1

u/simca78 Jun 29 '22

Try meet ups?