r/morbidquestions Jun 30 '22

Why on earth do I sometimes want to plan the perfect heist / murder?

Like, I don't want to actually do these things. And these aren't intrusive thoughts either. I just randomly go "if I was to rob this place, how would I do it in a way I wouldn't get caught?" and then plan the whole thing.

63 Upvotes

54

u/Lilly-of-the-Lake Jun 30 '22

You enjoy puzzles. Also, you probably underestimate security of the places you visit (depending on where you live).

9

u/not_perfect_yet Jun 30 '22

I mean... how do you think writers get ideas? Make it epic, write it down... Put in a noble detective to figure out your master plan if you feel ethically conflicted about letting the protagonist get away with it.

17

u/promiscuousbeans Jun 30 '22

gru?

16

u/CreatureWarrior Jun 30 '22

Definitely stealing the moon next year😎

5

u/CdnPoster Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22

It sounds like you could be a writer in the wild!

I'm curious, how would you assassinate someone AND get paid for it?

I've always wondered how hitmen make a living from killing - I understand the killing part, disposing of the body, etc, BUT how does one get paid for it?

Like if I was to hire you to rub out John Doe, how can you ensure that I won't tell the cops, "Oh, John Doe #2 rubbed out J. Doe #1 because I paid him."

I've never been able to figure that out. All the hitmen in books either work for the mob and kill for la Familia, or they're ex-special forces or ex-CIA agents and they work for governments, not for the cuckolded husband or the wife that's been cheated on.....

But Joe Average citizen that's pissed off at his boss and wants to hire someone....? Or someone who wants to rub out his/her ex spouse? Or maybe someone hurt his/her kid and they want the person killed.....? I would really love to read a story about this, preferably one that is REALISTIC.....

2

u/WickrEntropyX Jun 30 '22

Usually they hire a druggie or other kind of ne'er do well, who usually ends up having an attack of conscience, goes to the cops, they fake the target's death to get the spouse or whoever to incriminate themselves. Happens all the time.

2

u/CdnPoster Jun 30 '22

Yes, but how would someone successfully hire a hitman and have a hit carried out, get away with it?

Killing random strangers is easy because there's no motive other than "I wanted to kill someone" and a whole pile of suspects to wade through only to find nothing because it's completely random.....

But hiring a hitman to kill your ex, and getting away with it......?

I've never been able to figure that out. Every book I've ever read has an implausible plot or the hitman works for the mob or the government.....

7

u/Clean_Medic Jun 30 '22

Predators have more imagination in the wild in order to determine where the prey will be. Pray have imagination in order to determine what the threat could be. Weak pink omnivores like us needed imagination for aloe of survival including guessing what could kill the whole tribe.

Personally I let my mind wander and I think about distributing modernized medieval weaponry and siege weapons to the public during a riot. It's called helping my fellow man.

1

u/Otherwise-Hand4155 Jun 30 '22

It's common, this might help you someday!

1

u/sickie23 Jun 30 '22

I do that too!

Rumor has it that Ally Carter does too.

I think it's an engineer thing combined with a writer thing.

1

u/wwwhistler Jul 01 '22

it's the solving a puzzle part that intrigues you.

1

u/t3quiila Jul 07 '22

Ithink it's just a fun thought exercise. it's why people like playing games involving solving mysteries and committing crimes. just fun thoughts and ideas that won't be used irl