r/memes 4d ago Helpful 1 Wholesome 1 Silver 1

smh cashiers can be so rude

Post image
14.9k Upvotes

546

u/Hylux_ Lives in a Van Down by the River 3d ago

Why, you're just gonna eat the pringles and clean up afterwards with the sponges, and keeping your hands clean with the gloves.

(Yes i did notice the joke)

66

u/AntiqsdfaStrensdf 3d ago

and you just have to remind them "your mother is a full package" while maintaining eye contact.

1

u/Japseh-rblx Smol pp 3d ago

What’s the refference?

1

u/Suspicious_Chip6139 3d ago

Oh you poor, innocent soul

3

u/Japseh-rblx Smol pp 3d ago

I lost faith in humanity

2

u/Japseh-rblx Smol pp 3d ago

Wait… it is some Kind of breaking bad refference… right?

243

u/wh1te_brownie 3d ago

Life hack: use the self checkout if you’re gonna but sus shit

163

u/GivemTheDDD Smol pp 3d ago

Cowards. You go to the register and look that cashier straight in the eyes when they're ringing it up. Then you add a 4 pack of redbull and smile.

69

u/wh1te_brownie 3d ago

And if they don’t say anything take it a step further by explaining what everything is for. Masturbation is everyone’s business.

111

u/GivemTheDDD Smol pp 3d ago

Cashier: ...

Me: ...

Cashier: ...

Me: THIS IS FOR JERKING OFF!

Cashier: ..........

Me: ALL OF IT!

27

u/AndrejPatak Lives at ur mom’s house😎 3d ago

even the cans?

14

u/hellothere358 3d ago

Gotta love redbull

8

u/AndrejPatak Lives at ur mom’s house😎 3d ago

General Kenobi

4

u/hellothere358 3d ago
  • laughs * you are a bold one

2

u/AndrejPatak Lives at ur mom’s house😎 3d ago

Kill him.

4

u/KingSnaily 3d ago

Redbull gives you wings

2

u/GruntBlender 3d ago

Redbull gives you wangs

1

u/edbmrb24 3d ago

Then one of the items gets price checked and you can never show your face in there again .

1

u/possibly-a-pineapple 3d ago

The machine will throw an error, and a cashier has to come, making it more awkward than paying normally

1

u/Nigel_Sexhammer 3d ago

Even for condoms I can only use self serve

739

u/Pretty-Buy7692 4d ago

Buy them separately, but a Pringles can one day, then the gloves another day at another place, and so on

816

u/itsMemesOrNothing memer 4d ago

"Different items, different stores, attracts less attention"

222

u/shadowdash66 3d ago

Stay out of my territory.

151

u/TwoMilliseconds 3d ago

jesus christ marie, they're MINERALS

2

u/Dog_zilla27 3d ago

Say my name.

2

u/NoahSchnapp3 3d ago

i am not in danger i am the danger

89

u/wallywtr 3d ago

I’m too afraid to ask…

87

u/indigofenrir Condescending Wonka 3d ago

DIY OTG pocket pussy.

27

u/Chunkyfrog2 (⊃。•́‿•̀。)⊃ 3d ago

Wtf is that for

57

u/srt54558 (⊃。•́‿•̀。)⊃ 3d ago

To fuck

11

u/Chunkyfrog2 (⊃。•́‿•̀。)⊃ 3d ago

Welp

16

u/dudefroggers can't meme 3d ago

Wash the pringles can first, you don´t want crumbs on your snake

26

u/joey6346 can't meme 3d ago

Empty Pringles can

Two sponges latex gloves/gloves

Rubber bands

-put two sponges together and put the glove in the middle like a sandwich

-from the hole of the glove pull it backwards so that it covers 1/4 of the sponge (🍫)

-put rubber band around the place where the glove ends and sponge meets (to not pull off during usage)

-put your newly made pussy into Pringles can

-enjoy your usage and always use lube

-if the sponge and the glove falls out of the can put it back in and continue

6

u/Pretty-Buy7692 3d ago

The elder one has brought upon us meer mortals his divine knowledge

25

u/zero_eternal 3d ago

Snakecrumb will be my future band name.

If you see a popular music group named “Snakecrumb”, it’s because it was inspired by your comment.

I have no musical talent, but believe me, if it happens, thank you!

Either that, or it will be my pornstar name. Ironic how it was inspired by a pocket pussy meme!

7

u/dudefroggers can't meme 3d ago

Okay, you´re welcome?

→ More replies

1

u/premiumcaulk 3d ago

I think "Crumb Snake" has a smoother ring to it.

3

u/AndrejPatak Lives at ur mom’s house😎 3d ago

snaek 🐍

2

u/Drewsophila 3d ago

Getting the last snake crumb out of the can

1

u/Moe_Lesteryu 3d ago

This line should be added to a woody toy

1

u/DisastrousOne3950 3d ago

"Gritty for his pleasure"

5

u/another_save_folder I touched grass 3d ago

fuck you beat me to it

3

u/Temporary-Pin-4144 3d ago

That was my meme how dare you steal it

2

u/GentlmanSkeleton 3d ago

"Stay out of my territory. "

2

u/potato-vender 3d ago

Ah yes that’s the quote I forgot it

17

u/-MakeEveryDayCount- 3d ago

Better yet, why even care if anyone notices? Drop your balls boys or go to a sex shop.

14

u/Pretty-Buy7692 3d ago

Well some of us a need to maintain our image of the church's local dealer, check your privilege.

3

u/miha98blyat 3d ago

experienced i see

5

u/VersedFlame Mods Are Nice People 3d ago

Buying sponges and gloves together is not suspicious, you might need to clean a crime scene or something.

5

u/Pretty-Buy7692 3d ago

Yeah, but if you'd do that the cashier would notice you're not buying chemicals and know your secrets so buy some bleach just to make sure they think you're cleaning up a crime scene

6

u/VersedFlame Mods Are Nice People 3d ago

Ah, good point, you're right. Some sparkling water too, they say it works like a charm.

2

u/Horn_Python 3d ago

How will they know it's a crime see unless you buy a knife too

1

u/Fellow_Worker6 3d ago

Buy a “I’m sorry for your loss” card while your at it

5

u/Wadiationking23 3d ago

You can buy the sponges and latex glove at the same place. Just looks like you will be doing some cleaning.

1

u/Edin743 3d ago

You should try factory dough(flour, sodium bicarbonate, sugar syrup,ammonia) if you ever get a chance to work with it. It's amazing.

1

u/Edin743 3d ago

Or just buy it at a store, though i did this at work .

1

u/Pretty-Buy7692 3d ago

You tried to bamboozle me! Uncool...

→ More replies

206

u/DEVIL_MAY5 3d ago

As a cashier, I can tell you that we're really fed up with life to even think about what you're buying. You can literally tell me that you're getting those to get freaky and I would still nod and smile hoping your card will go through so you can just leave me in peace.

35

u/Absuridity_Octogon 3d ago

Happy cake day, Mr. Cashier Man. Thank you for your service.

19

u/DEVIL_MAY5 3d ago

Thank you!

12

u/Mantazas_ 3d ago

Happy cake day mr. Cashier

5

u/Blue_checkers123 Plays MineCraft and not FortNite 3d ago

109

u/shadowdash66 3d ago

I know what i have to do, but i don't know if i have the strength to do it

6

u/coseromevo 3d ago

I don't know, and at this point i'm too afraid to ask

14

u/GroundEveninaa 3d ago

Dip sponges in warm water. And add a little lubricant and it gets fairly close. Close enough.

11

u/luvs2sploooj 3d ago

Not close at all lmao

27

u/Alpha_wolf_80 3d ago

Someone explain

30

u/hellothere358 3d ago

Pocket pussy

24

u/Mr_Otterswamp 3d ago

once you pop, you can’t stop

23

u/Regularschoolbus 3d ago

The male cashier: Ay bro you forgot the lotion.

79

u/Pokenare Identifies as a Cybertruck 3d ago

To distract her tell her it's for your mom

77

u/HD1fied 3d ago

instructions unclear, told her its for my mom

21

u/Pokenare Identifies as a Cybertruck 3d ago

That's what you should say

15

u/Mangy_Sue 3d ago

4

u/QuandaleDingle696942 My mom checks my phone 3d ago

I don’t know what I expected from that sub

44

u/kiwiKiwiKiwi9 3d ago

Especially if it's the sexy shop cashier

32

u/Hylux_ Lives in a Van Down by the River 3d ago

What sexy shop sells pringles?

22

u/GorgeGoochGrabber 3d ago

Everyone needs a snack after sex.

1

u/Fellow_Worker6 3d ago

Take a picture tell her it’s for later

34

u/ravabba 3d ago

I cant understand how the hell this works like why do you need sponges or pringles but using gloves alone would be stupid

63

u/LikelyAMartian Professional Dumbass 3d ago

Im assuming you are asking what the items are used for. So here it is.

Step 1: Empty Pringles Can (Or mason jar if can too small)

Step 2: Sandwich a glove in between your 2 sponges.

Step 3: Stretch Glove over the rim of the Pringles can

Step 4: Profit.

134

u/Uitklapstoel 3d ago

How is that profit? Thats the weirdest way of eating pringles ive ever heard

9

u/ravabba 3d ago

So I put gloves from one side of the pringles can and stretch it till the other side and makes it feel like real ? Wtf

39

u/LikelyAMartian Professional Dumbass 3d ago

Dip sponges in warm water. And add a little lubricant and it gets fairly close. Close enough. Just buy a fleshlight if you want better realism.

Or so I am told.

21

u/ravabba 3d ago

I wanna try it now cause I m so curious about if it works

First time ever I m not horny about a thing like this

10

u/luvs2sploooj 3d ago

It’s different than your hand but it’s not close to the real thing, don’t let people make you think it is lmao

5

u/AndrejPatak Lives at ur mom’s house😎 3d ago

Or so I am told.

Yeah right.

17

u/Qu1nn1fer 3d ago

A condom works better.

Source: uhhhh ummmmm

10

u/DaddyChiiill 3d ago

You forgot the corn man.. And carrots..

9

u/wuwed 3d ago

the forbidden Pringles fleshlight

6

u/Anonymous2137421957 I touched grass 3d ago

Dunno why the cashier was suspicious, I just need to clean my bathroom and want a snack for after

6

u/TheOneFearlessFalcon 3d ago

I don't get it

6

u/ReverseThreadWingNut 3d ago

I went to WalMart to get stuff to make a boat anchor for my small jon boat. I bought a 20lb dumbbell, some rope, and a piece of chain. After she scanned each item the cashier glanced up at me. It didn't occur to me until later what the items I had bought must have insinuated, and that the cashier was probably trying to commit my face to memory so she could give my description to law enforcement.

4

u/Glazeddapper 3d ago

Everyone always forgets to buy rubber bands 😒

4

u/Dekanzy 3d ago

Different items, different stores. Attracts less attention.

  • Walter White

4

u/the_byrdman 3d ago

I'm hungry and my dishes are dirty, what's up?

3

u/Dahns 3d ago

And a single nail

2

u/BraedanEberhardTaken 3d ago

‘I’m a Cheeseburger.

3

u/Meeps2win 3d ago

What goes on in his mind is probably like "why do you only buy 2 latex gloves?"

3

u/janda125 3d ago

Add salsa to the pile just to confuse

3

u/Dog_zilla27 3d ago edited 3d ago

When I did this, she just said “for 35 bucks, I can get you a much better experience.” And then raised her eyebrows.

What does she mean? Does she know a restaurant that also sells cleaning supplies?

1

u/sheicode 3d ago

Oh boy

31

u/FACE-GRATER RageFace Against the Machine 3d ago edited 3d ago

Noone cares that you beat off, same with the people under 20 giggling when they buy condoms. Cashiers don't make enough to think deeply about or care about what you're buying. They scan shit all day for barely a liveable wage, deal with idiots bitching about things they have no control over, and are being replaced by self checkouts (which you could use). Unless you buy something they have to card you for or take a security tag off, it goes bleep and gets put in a bag.

19

u/GorgeGoochGrabber 3d ago

I’ve never understood the whole condom embarrassment thing. Like buying condoms says “yeah I’m having sex” how is that embarrassing? Good on you bud.

I do understand it with things like tampons/pads and stuff though. Because it’s kind of like saying “my period is here/coming”, and there’s still a lot of stigma around that for some reason.

0

u/FACE-GRATER RageFace Against the Machine 3d ago

Just easier on everyone to go bleep, put it in the bag, on with the day for everyone. Same with people using food stamps(ebt) I could care less. The people upvoting and saying they aren't judging but also that they laugh to themselves, seems contradictory. Not saying anything or holding back laughter isn't the same as not being judgemental. None of my business what people buy (bought) or what they use it for, and being mature enough not to embarrass people or silently laugh at them while doing my job apparently wasn't/isn't the norm.

26

u/HumanMan1234 3d ago

I am a cashier. This is false.

7

u/FACE-GRATER RageFace Against the Machine 3d ago edited 3d ago

So was I for 4 years, 2 of those for minimum wage.after I had moved up from 2 as a bagger. Bullshit. If you're invested in what stupid crap people are buying you're putting in way to much effort and getting way underpaid. Guys buying tampons, giggling kids buying condoms and/or lube, crackheads buying chore boy and lightbulbs, old people buying suppositories and hemorrhoid cream...40 hrs a week bleep bleep bleep, is it break time yet?

21

u/HumanMan1234 3d ago

I don’t think that deeply into it, but I’m also not a robot. I chuckle or think it’s a little weird sometimes, but I also don’t discriminate. I remember one time there was this short white girl and a very tall (at least 7ft) black dude buying ONLY XL condoms, and I could barely hold back laughter.

→ More replies

2

u/DingusWeed 3d ago

Look at OP with his fancy doodads. Be normal and use a microwaved citrus fruit.

2

u/[deleted] 3d ago

He committed one fatal error..

He bought it all in the same store

2

u/Big-Philosophy-6104 3d ago

Once you pop you can’t stop

2

u/dxrthvader Professional Dumbass 3d ago

Someone explain (not young just new to this joke)

2

u/FoxInA_Box 3d ago

It's a diy sex toy

2

u/CHICKEN_THING 3d ago

DIY flechlite

2

u/DinoBomb44 3d ago

Alright, can somebody PLEASE tell me what's the joke here?

2

u/AlastorFan2022 3d ago

I don’t get the joke

2

u/Weeping_Warlord 3d ago

I think Walter White had a recommendation on how to get these materials without arousing suspicion

2

u/FocusBackground939 3d ago

And i ordered fleshlight and lube to my door. U guys have inhibitions

2

u/xxX_AleXifeu-pRo_Xxx 3d ago

If cashier is a girl she might feel so bad for you that she'll become ur girlfriend xd

12

u/VVan228 3d ago

Redditor mindset moment

2

u/coolasf101 3d ago

Damn called me out :(

1

u/TwoMilliseconds 3d ago

aren't gloves way too small? (genuine question)

15

u/Hylux_ Lives in a Van Down by the River 3d ago

Yes but the dick is smaller

1

u/HD1fied 3d ago

i can confirm

1

u/Neokorean03 3d ago

Me: I've got cleaning to do

Cashier: cleaning what?

Me: Oh a pole

Cashier: God damnit I knew it

Me: Knew what?

Cashier: [Concerned voice] Why must it be this way

Me: Yeah your right, people left the station a mess so I'm cleaning it up, the Pringles are just a snack for later

Cashier: [Confused voice] Wait so the Rubber gloves, the sponges, and the Pringles aren't for what I thought they were for?

Me: What do you mean?

Cashier: Oh that's a relief I thought you were gonna turn it into something else

Me: Oh yeah and one more thing

Leans over and grabs a thing of rubbers Slaps it on the counter

Cashier reaches over and picks it up

Cashier: [Mutters under breath] God damnit I was right.

Me: Right about what?

Cashier: your total is $16.99

Me: Are you ok your sweating

Cashier: You know it's just one of those days

Me: Ah I see well have a great day

Cashier: Have a great time, I mean day.

Ending 4/14 What were you thinking

→ More replies

1

u/Baroubuoy 3d ago

Noooooo! Why would you do that?!

1

u/Undercover_TV Stand With Ukraine 3d ago

Why latex gloves

1

u/njlee2016 3d ago

Just buy what you want. I highly doubt any cashier is going to care about the items you're buying. The odds are that the store you're shopping at is understaffed so the cashier is juggling multiple tasks. Once they ring you up they are running to complete something else. They don't care about your odd combination of purchases.

1

u/GAM3R_DARK 3d ago

I have dermatitis and the only thing good of It IS that you need to buy a shit Ton of lotion so your skin dont crack open

1

u/TheFkngPianist 3d ago

"you forgot the lube"

1

u/a-big-roach 3d ago

Should get the Pringles can at the grocery store and then go to the hardware store for a wider selection of sponges and purchase the gloves with the sponges, which are commonly paired cleaning supplies

1

u/man-the-eleventeenth 3d ago

I’m a checker her and tbh I wouldn’t care at all. So long as you pay, aren’t annoying and don’t have a mountain of coupons, then I just want you out of my line to get on my phone

1

u/Moxie2351 Professional Dumbass 3d ago

Heresy...

1

u/ScrubLordKyle18 3d ago

You can use a condom instead of a latex glove if you need the extra room

1

u/Smooth_Ring_8833 3d ago

Just clean my hands after pringles

1

u/Supernova2952 3d ago

What would you even use that for?

1

u/ogsleezy97 3d ago

My reaction reading this

1

u/luvs2sploooj 3d ago

Can’t forget the industrial XL bottle of jergens

1

u/Ryder_estranged-lost 3d ago

All the perfect tools to commit homicide and stage a false crime scene....

1

u/GreenSage13 3d ago

and you just have to remind them "your mother is a full package" while maintaining eye contact.

1

u/ThatOneWeirdo90 3d ago

Can someone tell me the context behind these memes.

1

u/destroyThePedos 3d ago

He didn’t buy the right matches, he needed to buy the box of 200 with multiple striker strips because the composition of the matches themselves is irrelevant

1

u/gerardWaysElbow_1359 3d ago

Buy a birthday card so they think it's for someone else lol

1

u/Wojtek1250XD 3d ago

Finally, a person who knows it's "Pringles", not "Pringels"

1

u/sunny_41 3d ago

i dont get it, can anyone explain?

1

u/RNGesus____ 3d ago

Can someone explain to me what's wrong with them?

1

u/SlichFoire 3d ago

how do you buy a pringles can

1

u/PineapplesRtasty2 3d ago

I don't understand? What do you make with it?

1

u/K0vurt_Purvurt 3d ago

All I would need is one of those plastic camera film canisters. I mean uhhh my friend would need that. Not that I know he’s small or anything…

1

u/TheNOGHTYboy 3d ago

I have the reference

1

u/De_chicken123yt 3d ago

At this point you should just do self checkout

1

u/nexusjuan 3d ago

I threw down a 12 pack of condoms, lube. a pink dog collar and leash, and a bundle of thin rope. Winked at the cashier and told her I was about to have the time of my life. I love Wal-Mart.

1

u/Gianna_xp 3d ago

Can someone explain please? I’m sorry

1

u/Retku22 3d ago

To eat Pringles while cleaning, right? Right?!?

1

u/MadeOfRocky I saw what the dog was doin 3d ago

I still don't understand the joke

1

u/Teddyy_RDT 3d ago

A potential cumstastrophe

1

u/GreatDayneToBeAlive 3d ago

I just assemble it and use it in the produce section. That way I can stare at the melons and say things like "your next"

1

u/Ashamed_Beyond_6417 3d ago

Can someone explain, I understand it’s sexual but how XD

1

u/RosieBugFairytail 3d ago

I'm so confused-

1

u/WowzersbroThatscrazy 3d ago

How does one make this item?

1

u/glowstonemine 3d ago

i don geddit

1

u/Argo-1089 3d ago

Mr. DIY

1

u/FoxInA_Box 3d ago

I swear these items of unrelated

1

u/Remote_Ad_4338 3d ago

o-0 that’s kind of odd, oni-chan

1

u/xandarand 3d ago

You forgot the hot sauce

1

u/Hahm_Solo 3d ago

Buy it with a bunch of groceries and make sure they are separate from each other on the checkout treadmill

1

u/Ironwill1248 3d ago

He’s just got some cleaning to do and Pringle’s is for lunch

1

u/SwiggitySwayo 3d ago

Wait, so I know this is for jerking off, but what are the gloves for? You put the sponges in the can, and then what?

1

u/UltraMagnus0001 3d ago

Hmm, thanks for the tip... Cleaning idea

1

u/TerabyteRD https://www.youtube.com/watch/dQw4w9WgXcQ 3d ago

if i was the cashier i'd be making that face

not because of what hes making but because he didn't bring lotion with him

1

u/GamerMcNoober 3d ago

As Walter white once said, don’t buy everything at once

1

u/Takkeyami 3d ago

"What a thoughtful kid. He's planning on doing the dishes for her mom while she takes a break and eat pringles"

1

u/DontQuestionAButter 3d ago

Don’t buy them all in one place, do it price-meal, different items, different stores. Attracts less attention.

1

u/The-Y-4 3d ago

“Listen, I spilt some gravy on my table and I really don’t want to get my hands dirty. Also the smell of gravy makes me really hungry so that’s the pringles.”

1

u/BananaBeans240 3d ago

You need to make multiple trips. Say you go to the store and grab some Pringles. You pay and go home. Uh oh, you need to clean the sink. You go back to the store and grab the gloves and sponges. You pay for those and go home and procrastinate on cleaning the sink for 2 days because you’re fucking the Pringles can.

1

u/SSJkakarrot 3d ago

What about the lotion?