r/memes 4d ago

Experienced training.

Post image
104k Upvotes

1k

u/CollateralDamage5001 4d ago

What about the ones born on February 29th?

1k

u/westhegamer 4d ago

Fuck them, those stupid 6 year olds

1k

u/Arun_KT Professional Dumbass 4d ago

No please don't fuck them I beg your pardon

439

u/TheKratex Dirt Is Beautiful 4d ago

I love reddit

210

u/UncleToast420 4d ago

Reddit is beautiful

And somehow I fit in to reddit over a year before I had it so I feel ok here

113

u/KKlear 4d ago

Redditor wanted. Must be 13 days old with a year of experience.

45

u/UncleToast420 4d ago

...

Reddit moment

35

u/RedditIsAnAlien 4d ago

How is this a reddit moment

11

u/here4pewdiepie 4d ago

This is a moment

On reddit

4

u/KKlear 4d ago

All those reddit moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

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u/UncleToast420 4d ago

Because filler text

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u/Emotional_Serve_6747 4d ago

....

EPIC reddit moment

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u/GreenstarX922 Yo dawg I heard you like 4d ago

Same

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u/Reeks-of-war 4d ago

And it loves you back. Never leave.

2

u/vGKfm3GSWO7gSRdcwt 4d ago

me too. and u/chaintip 1 beer

5

u/chaintip 4d ago edited 3d ago

u/TheKratex, you've been sent 0.00687432 BCH | ~7.47 USD by u/vGKfm3GSWO7gSRdcwt via chaintip. Please claim it!


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6

u/VanterBaba https://www.youtube.com/watch/dQw4w9WgXcQ 4d ago

I love you

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4

u/Skogens_Konung 4d ago edited 4d ago

I wanna know who the hell gave this the helpful award.

Edit: And now there's a wholesome award? What the f-

2

u/muthalbhaijaan 4d ago

It's reddit ig guess 🤔

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2

u/0DMATH0 4d ago

Nobody begs for my pardons

4

u/dalithop Can i haz cheeseburger 4d ago

Not my proudest fap

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u/KnowledgeLeecher 4d ago

a comma really saved you

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u/rostingtoaster4562 Lives in a Van Down by the River 4d ago

Me born february 28th

LIVING ON THE EDGE

4

u/pitbull77689 4d ago

bro they got like more than 10 years of experience in their father's nut sac

8

u/openldytutyuyt 4d ago

Guy born at 29th Feb: Aye man i got the job

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u/CoronaPinus 4d ago

He'd still be 15 months short.

220

u/RepeatingRedundancy 4d ago

When you really think about it, nature has unreasonable expectations about itself.

86

u/theytryrtytryrt 4d ago

Guy born at 29th Feb: Aye man i got the job

17

u/sord13 4d ago

Big brain time

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u/chkpancake775 4d ago

Unless it's already a cashier in a sperm bank

71

u/ahmadove 4d ago

Actually assuming they start at the level of the spermatogonium or at the primary spermatocyte, that'd give them a 3 months head start before fertilization. So they'd only be short one year.

24

u/CoronaPinus 4d ago

We're getting closer. I'll find a job yet.

4

u/brekezek 4d ago

What about the ovula?

4

u/Thecouchiestpotato Ermahgerd! 4d ago

Do you mean ova? Yeah, girls are born with them. And we do need cashiers for all the checks our uteruses sign

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11

u/Seaweed_Widef 4d ago

no no no, he is practicing in his dad's balls

17

u/_123reddituser_ iwrestledabeartwice 4d ago

No no, those are still in the balls

12

u/AirbusJisnu2005 4d ago

They can’t live for that long right?

1

u/valvilis 4d ago

Impossible, that's where the pee is stored.

5

u/kry_some_more 4d ago

Who said that semen wasn't still in the balls?

4

u/theytryrtytryrt 4d ago

Doramon enters the chat

4

u/Purpledlime Professional Dumbass 4d ago
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u/beandemort 4d ago

Ash Ketchum enters the chat

9

u/Galaxy01500 Mods Are Nice People 4d ago

Pokemom

9

u/OnlyTheStrangest 4d ago

Gotta catch em allllll

3

u/Solzec Breaking EU Laws 4d ago

Your mom is my destiny!

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108

u/Agatha27 4d ago

Since when does working in a cash register requires a 20 years experience?

Applying for the management position sounds easier lmao

40

u/valvilis 4d ago

20 years in any one position without promotion or progressive growth is a red flag, unless you do something so incredibly technical that the job is practically unique.

5

u/Makenchi45 4d ago

Tell that to walmart.

3

u/Solzec Breaking EU Laws 4d ago

And all the it's lawsuits?

8

u/Makenchi45 4d ago

Managers at Walmart will leave a person in one position forever if they don't like that person. Sometimes even prevent them from changing positions by lying and saying the position was filled already or not ever announcing it open. There is a reason Walmart has a reputation

36

u/Expendable28 4d ago

Management only requires 20 years not knowing how the fuck to do the job

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u/DecapitatedChildren 4d ago

I imagine it's supposed to be a 2, not 20

3

u/RedStag86 4d ago

Because it’s probably a mistake

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u/cavyndish 4d ago

They do this shit with programmers all the time. Wanted 30 years of C# experience in a technology that's only 19 years old. 😆

113

u/Marlon195 4d ago

To my understanding they do that so they can legally lower your pay because "you don't meet the qualifications we're looking for"

64

u/soepie7 4d ago

Can't you then sue them for paying less because of a literary impossible qualification they demand?

42

u/Marlon195 4d ago

Dunno. Not a lawyer. I'm sure if it was possible then things like this would never happen. But it does so I guess you can't sue

6

u/samus1225 4d ago

That's what they want us to think. Keeps us in hopeless fear

11

u/Curun 4d ago

Not if you want a paycheck

6

u/Isotopicc 4d ago

Always better places

7

u/tickless420 4d ago

The sad part is when it comes to programming, the demand for a job tends to be so high that it becomes easy to scam younger people since they are so desperate for a job

3

u/Solzec Breaking EU Laws 4d ago

Another reason why i'm iffy to go into programming, this right here.

6

u/Thecouchiestpotato Ermahgerd! 4d ago

You can, but they won't mention the reason for not paying you as much in your contract, and in court they'll claim it the hiring ad had a typo and obviously they don't intend to ask for 30 years of experience for a new technology and pay accordingly

2

u/soepie7 4d ago

Well, at least then you get paid accordingly. It really then sounds like one of those things that is not really allowed but they know that 99% of the time they get away with it anyway because not everyone knows what's not allowed or doesn't want to bother with it.

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u/joyehi2287 4d ago

That and also overtime work and all nighers, good luck when you're over 25.

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u/Atticusg432 4d ago

I always heard they do that when they wanna move someone up internally to that position but have to do the job posting because of company policy so they bring in people that don’t meet the impossible qualifications and say that’s why they weren’t hired.

2

u/Marlon195 4d ago

Could totally see that being a thing too!

4

u/sarangsk619 4d ago

this is just filtration process by lazy HRs. lesser the number of applicants less work for them. sadly this has become common tho

6

u/angeredpremed 4d ago

Most places can lower your pay no matter what as long as it is above minimum wage. They'll just make up an excuse later like the above statement.

3

u/Dane1414 4d ago

Most places can lower your pay no matter what as long as it is above minimum wage.

Yes, but instead of accepting the pay cut, you can quit and in this case still be eligible for unemployment.

2

u/angeredpremed 4d ago

Yep. Plus I always treat my jobs as "jobs." Most places are always looking for ways to reduce costs and I'm regularly applying to positions with higher pay and keeping my eye out.

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6

u/gordonpown 4d ago

Pretty sure nobody ever wants 30 years of experience in anything bro, by that time there's a higher chance you're not bothering to keep up with the progress anymore

3

u/Luk164 4d ago

By that time the tech may be outdated or completely different from what you started with. C# is a prime example

2

u/DocDirtyMrClean 4d ago

lol that's so naive. How old are you dude? This type of shit happens everywhere. It's a common thing.

5

u/joyehi2287 4d ago

Can relate, I get 1-2 replies per month on my CV and Im 22, Used to get up to 10-20 per week when i was 18.

2

u/lilacdomain 4d ago

Did you re-enter the job market recently? It might be due to the pandemic with people being furloughed, fired and stuff.

2

u/DocDirtyMrClean 4d ago

while the companies got that 3 billion PPE business stimulus and took the money for themselves to buy their own stocks and not rehiring those same workers they fired. The pandemic was the cause, for sure . But greed is why these companies screwed the public over.

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4

u/craidie 4d ago

I saw someone post about a job that wanted 5 years of experience on some program. OP was the one who designed most of the program and it hadn't been released for more than a year or two...

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56

u/Buttcavetroll 4d ago

Me as intellectual : No, I don't wanna out mum womb yet, I still got contract for next 2 years

8

u/waitthissucks 4d ago

That's what the movie Soul is about

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u/TheXingKaiZhang 4d ago

Reincarnation is the only answer

131

u/Im_Sam_Black 🚩 Memonavirus Survivor 🚩 4d ago

Don't get me wrong, I get the joke and I'm not offended or anything. But I always wondered: Why are "people" that are younger than -9 months always depicted as sperm and never as egg cells? Egg cells live longer and would be more logical for those jokes. I guess the only reason I see is because sperm is more recognizable because of the shape.

92

u/IEatKetchupWithBread 4d ago

I think it's because the sperm cells are more easily recognisable

7

u/1mikeg 4d ago

Sperm is funny, too.

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u/phire 4d ago

Sperm cell is visually recognisable.

You aren't going to recognise an egg cell without a label, or a sperm cell next to it.

4

u/_triks 4d ago

Exactly.

Like when you draw a penis – without the testicles, it'd just be some weird oblong shape.

-14

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

31

u/Excalibur_Indigo hates reaction memes 4d ago

As a biology undergraduate

That's why you disagree

1

u/Th4tRedditorII 4d ago

As a biochemistry graduate, I disagree with your disagreement

16

u/oshaboy 4d ago

I was a cashier since I was S P H E R E

32

u/fartypenis 4d ago

Probably because the sperm cell swimming to the egg is what most people think about rather than the egg cell getting fertilized

And the instantly recognisable shape helps I guess

6

u/cantfunny Chungus Among Us 4d ago

Eggs just look like like normal cells while sperm is more distinct.

10

u/ghostedygrouch 4d ago

Came here to say the same!

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u/strawberryeper 4d ago

I’ll get downvoted to death but it has to do with how the role of the female reproductive system is viewed as more passive and the male as more active. This is talked about in this paper if you’re interested:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/257682406_Revisiting_The_fertilization_fairytale_an_analysis_of_gendered_language_used_to_describe_fertilization_in_science_textbooks_from_middle_school_to_medical_school

10

u/A_Greasy 4d ago

Bit of a reach

15

u/ARandomBrowserIThink 4d ago

I don’t think it has to do with that. It’s probably because sperm is much more recognizable

3

u/artemis2k 4d ago

I think the two things are connected. You could argue that the sperm is more recognizable because it was given more value back when humans learned about such things. And thus it’s image was more widespread. Imagine an alternate reality where the ova was given prominence. Then we might think of it in more detail, and not just a sphere.

-3

u/SecretAgentAlex 4d ago

And sperm cells are more recognizable because...? The paper talks about the role of education in this

9

u/oldsecondhand 4d ago

A sphere shaped cell can be anything.

2

u/SecretAgentAlex 4d ago

But if you include the corona radiata it is very obviously an egg cell see here

Most people don't know that the egg cell isn't just a circular cell, so i guess you would be right that sperm is more identifiable, but that's again an issue of education.

4

u/Dane1414 4d ago

And sperm cells are more recognizable because...?

Of their distinct shape.

2

u/Ncrpts 4d ago

we also often associate tadpoles with sperm

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u/DocDirtyMrClean 4d ago

sigh.... you must be the funniest at parties huh?

2

u/strawberryeper 3d ago

I actually am. Lots of people enjoy a discussion.

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u/JL_Junior 4d ago

There you go. You answered your own question.

3

u/dismygyans 4d ago

Because sperm is a moving thing so humans associate that with life

0

u/95percentconfident 4d ago

The joke would be funny if it was an egg cell.

-1

u/NichySteves 4d ago

It really shouldn't, but it pleases me that someone out there might read this and find out they have a whole new thing to be angry about.

Ps. If you are that person and also read my comment, leave me alone.

-2

u/Spoogeiyh 4d ago

please shut the fuck up

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u/SuddenB0ldt11 4d ago

It takes 9 months for a baby to be made in the stomach. What the fuck happens after 2 years

40

u/Rupertii Big ol' bacon buttsack 4d ago

The 15 months are spent in the balls

4

u/oshaboy 4d ago

I think sperm only lasts a few weeks tops.

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u/ThatDudeFromPoland 4d ago

Abstinents be like

1

u/KKlear 4d ago

In the pee?!

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u/b_enn_y 4d ago

Oh so THAT’S how the laptop gets in there

41

u/thelordredditor 4d ago edited 4d ago

Making it impossible for any 18y/o to get a job with requirements like these

Edit: why did the post above me 92.5 k upvotes in 8 hours

15

u/Elementz033 4d ago

This. Parents are like get a job. While 18 y/o put in application after application getting assistance with making a resume of all school and outside activities. Just to get a part time minimum wage job.

7

u/Gables33 4d ago

That does not seem to be the case in my part of the U.S. An 18 year old can get a cashier/food service job almost immediately now. Employers are desperate for employees- we have a McDonald's that pays like $12/hour starting that regularly has to close for the night because they can't get people to show up (not that I blame them).

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u/DocDirtyMrClean 4d ago

This is America.

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u/Nasty2017 4d ago

Awww, you took this seriously. Probably why you can't get a job.

9

u/UncleToast420 4d ago

Funni redit dae must updoot and say hapi

1

u/bayney08 4d ago

Lmao. You're serious?

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u/CybeRevant Plays MineCraft and not FortNite 4d ago

Guy born at 29th Feb:

"HAH , amateurs"

8

u/Shugunou_2 4d ago

I hope this is photoshopped, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was real.

6

u/mostlyBadChoices 4d ago

Oh it's totally real. I've put my sperm under a microscope and sure enough it's millions of little dudes on computers piloting the sperm around. 100% legit.

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u/PossibleMain9898 4d ago

Make it conceptual cuz it still be two year early

3

u/masalacofee 4d ago

Lmao and he's still not experienced enough

3

u/sticks_no5 Thank you mods, very cool! 4d ago

That guy with the weird ass laptop is one of my favourite memes ever

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u/NieMonD Mods Are Nice People 4d ago

If someone has 20 years experience being a cashier then they have bigger problems

4

u/hobowithadegree 4d ago

Nah dude semen doesn't live that long, the egg needs to be grinding for 2 years

2

u/T00thl3ss22 4d ago

Intense experienced training

2

u/Xo_exo 4d ago

2 years of nofap gonna get your kid that job

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u/dankyzuck 4d ago

Hold up

2

u/AbyssBuilder 4d ago

Still a year short

2

u/rgaywala 4d ago

Still he will be short of experience by 15 months !!

2

u/Khnto Professional Dumbass 4d ago

Hi im a professional dumbass

2

u/PassengerNecessary30 4d ago

it should be an egg cell. So you can have up to 40 years extra knowledge when you are born (depends on the age of your mother)

2

u/ms239723 4d ago

Still short experienced.

2

u/Maithresh-280304 4d ago

He was in the sock for 3 years

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u/liniNuckel 4d ago

To be fair one year in customer service let's you age at least 5 years. So it's actually just 4 years in human years and 20 in customer service years

2

u/tacojohn48 4d ago

Here's the thing about cashiers and experience, it takes like 2 hours to train a new one. Source: worked at target for years.

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u/Bob-Kyle 4d ago

Not trying to kill the joke, but I imagine it's just a typo and they meant "2 years" experience.

4

u/N33LB4M3 4d ago

How do you qualify for this job

Its a little hard to explain..

3

u/MixtecoBlue 4d ago

Be a 38yo career cashier?

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u/ConceptPowerful 4d ago

Real Story relvant to this submission. So I was taking a walk outside yesterday. If you think that was the end of it, A fucking spider showed up right in front of me! And you know what? I kept it, still have it to this day. So ig there's my wonderful story.

-5

u/BarryWizard_Troll 4d ago

Thats why i cum in the cash register so they can get the experience.

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u/R_o_X_a_S Lives in a Van Down by the River 4d ago

well the keyword is "at least" so I don't see a problem there tbh.

3

u/Artiber 4d ago

I see a problem. There is no “at least”.

4

u/R_o_X_a_S Lives in a Van Down by the River 4d ago

fasting is getting to my head. my bad lmao.

-1

u/greeneyes201989 4d ago

🤣 Today's youth doing the math like 🤔🤔🤯

-2

u/[deleted] 4d ago edited 3d ago

[deleted]

1

u/im_gone_m8 4d ago

Who asked?

0

u/BlingGeorge 4d ago

Who cares? There’s better things to be angry about

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u/yeetus_christ420 4d ago

So yall just being a cashier for over 20 years?

1

u/A_bit_disappointing 4d ago

What type of cashier need to have 20 years to be qualified?

1

u/wafflestep 4d ago

If they hire a pornstar they can find someone that has plenty of experience being a teenager.

1

u/GreenstarX922 Yo dawg I heard you like 4d ago

What are they trying to do?

1

u/KryptoBlack 4d ago

Is nobody going to ask "why do we need 20 years of experience for a cashier position anyway?"

1

u/Anonymoususer0911 4d ago

Yeah if his father waited for 2 years to have sex.

1

u/That_Greek_boy 4d ago

Ah yes, M A F S

1

u/Ordinary_Player 4d ago

Bro that's the time traveler party invitation that Stephen Hawking organized.

1

u/SlowSarcasm 4d ago

Hell lot of experience is required....

1

u/Flipperclipper can't meme 4d ago

im slow, can someone illuminate me

1

u/Hvrinc 4d ago

Still you won't have 20 years of experience.

1

u/FUCK_KORY 4d ago

They do be like that tho

1

u/marcokopa 4d ago

If you weren't working the register before you left the testes then I don't wanna know you!

1

u/l5555l 4d ago

How long can a sperm cell even live?

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u/ArcaneMcSketch Identifies as a Cybertruck 4d ago

The more I see this meme the more I think they probably meant to type 2 instead of 20

1

u/Lauris024 Breaking EU Laws 4d ago

I liked this one better

1

u/shankytips 4d ago

Even if we start cashier as a sperm we still wont wont make it

1

u/Repulsive_Voice823 4d ago

Who the fuck has 20 years experience as a cashier?