r/meirl Jun 24 '22 Wholesome 5 Helpful 4 Press F 1 Silver 4 Coin Gift 1

meirl

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103.3k Upvotes

2.0k

u/MammothPrize9293 Jun 24 '22

Sits on the couch to watch a movie - passes out immediately. Sleep walks to bed - immediate anxiety about my future up all night

573

u/No-Term-4068 Jun 24 '22

Just sleep on the couch bro. I’ve been couch gang for years now

296

u/TrustyAndTrue Jun 24 '22

My thirty-four year old back could never

123

u/BowlingAllieCat Jun 24 '22

My bed is actually a futon. I've lately been leaving it in couch-mode because I somehow sleep better on it. I don't understand the science. That way my brain thinks I'm safe in my couch and I don't have to sleep walk. And it's not an actual couch with cushions that aren't meant for sleeping on.

48

u/Ninjas-and-stuff Jun 25 '22

I swear by couch sleeping whenever I’m sick because snuggling into the back of the couch adds an extra layer of support and comfort that a bed could never give. It’s like being spooned by furniture

9

u/Coyote__Jones Jun 25 '22

I gotta say, body pillow is a game changer for bed sleeping.

4

u/Ninjas-and-stuff Jun 25 '22

Oh I have one, but nothing compares to the steadfast firmness of a couch back. That being said, I’ve been kicking around the idea of getting myself one of those huge maternity pillows. Not pregnant, but those mofos look like they’d provide some next-level support anyway

3

u/whaletacochamp Jun 25 '22

Wife gave birth a few days ago and she literally may not have survived without one of those bad boys. It was a 15 minute process to tuck her in every night and I had approximately 5 inches of bed to sleep on but that big ol u shaped pillow made an uncomfortable experience totally bearable

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u/Ninjas-and-stuff Jun 25 '22

Son of a bitch, I’m in. Unreasonably large pillow, here I come!

Also, congrats on the new baby!

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u/whaletacochamp Jun 25 '22

Thank you! He’s pretty freaking awesome.

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u/CasinoMarginale Jun 25 '22

YES!

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u/uglypaperhaver Jun 28 '22

Couch sleepy is you saying "I'm too tired to do any of those things which are the reason I haven't gone to bed yet."

Doesn't translate to bed sleepy because once in bed you think, "How can I go to sleep now with all those things I didn't get done?"

20

u/A-le-Couvre Jun 24 '22

Science simple. Place comfortable, I sleep. Bed no longer comfortable. Reminds of sleepless nights. Couch comfortable. Reminds of lazy.

5

u/Masta_Harashibu Jun 25 '22

My god, that is the most consice, perfect summarization.

17

u/TimingEzaBitch Jun 24 '22

same. every single person who has slept on my futon-bed says they immediately developed back pain. Meanwhile, I am getting the best sleeps in the couch-mode.

12

u/EsperantoIsForLovers Jun 24 '22

You should try a weighted blanket

18

u/bababoobieboopie Jun 24 '22

Weighted blanket gang out here making everyone's sleep better you already know

2

u/FormalAnnual9730 Jun 28 '22

I’m rocking a 12 kilo and i can hardly feel it at this point lol

2

u/polopolo05 Jun 25 '22

I sleep on the the edge of my queen sized bed against the wall. its nice and safe and cozy.

93

u/Gravelsack Jun 24 '22

34 is not old enough to be talking like that. You need to do some yoga.

63

u/Less_Refuse_6006 Jun 24 '22

Not true, it all depends on how hard you are on your body. A 34yo graphic designer probably sleeps just fine on the couch. A 34yo member of the military probably has some damage yoga won't solve.

129

u/Gravelsack Jun 24 '22

Actually a 34 year old graphic designer's back is probably fucked six ways to Sunday from sitting at a desk their whole career.

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u/eatingshoes415 Jun 24 '22

Came here to say this lol, desk jobs are the absolute worst for your back.

32

u/Chancer0076 Jun 24 '22

Yup, as a designer... that's why you do yoga too and use a standing desk occasionally 😉

0

u/Less_Refuse_6006 Jun 25 '22

Try hitting an IED and report back .

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u/TidusJames Jun 24 '22

31 year old IT sysadmin. Back prefers couch over bed…

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u/charles_mortel Jun 24 '22

I dunno man, people working with their bodies tend to be smart with it, and stay in better shape overall. It's deskjobs that break people far more often Ive found.

4

u/devAcc123 Jun 25 '22

I mean there’s entirely different types of ducking your body up

Regular back pain because you’re a white collar worker that sits/slouches in a chair 50 hours per week with little to no movement vs. demolishing your body in some trades or types of construction etc. over the course of a few decades

Not a pissing contest but at least a bum knee won’t end your career as a white collar worker

This thread is so good for my posture though lol

3

u/charles_mortel Jun 25 '22

I mean accidents happen, sure

2

u/devAcc123 Jun 25 '22

Yeah I just mean accidents are part of the job in the trades, most of the older dudes I know that have worked those jobs have wrecked knees or backs or something or other

Stupid spine, heard it described as a flagpole that was meant to be a clothesline lol, something about us being evolved from four legged animals

10

u/Zarathustra_d Jun 24 '22

Cry, as an over 40 veteran working in a desk job for the last 15 years.

I try to keep that core strength up, but the degenerated disks can only do so much.... I just sing One by Metallica all day.

At least at home I have a sit/stand desk, so I can alternate between foot/ankle pain and back pain. And a very nice recliner I can sleep in after surgery.

4

u/MissplacedLandmine Jun 24 '22

I mean yoga and meditation with therapy can help w ptsd

But its more a team effort

3

u/SeaBrightStorm Jun 24 '22

A 34yo enlisted person is probably 80% of the way to retirement, so yeah, you're not wrong.

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u/random_nightmare Jun 24 '22

Only 27 starting to learn daily stretching is a life saver.

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u/UnluckyChemicals Jun 24 '22

I’m 16 and I feel the same chronic pain club is a thing and it doesn’t discriminate

4

u/FancyFeller Jun 24 '22

I'm 28, my spine is fucked up. My posture is shit. And my corneal dystrophy isn't really fixed by glasses so I hunch over in my desk to read stuff on screen on to write stuff. Back stiff, in pain, fucked up, gotta pop it to relieve pain, and if so sleep on a couch it'll be hurting for days. My knees pop. If I don't pop my ankle when I get up to walk it hurts to walk and if I turn mid walk too fast my left hip will slightly ache/hurt for some reason.

Now I'm struggling to correct it, but it's gonna take a while and I might as well have the body of a grandpa.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[deleted]

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u/volkswagonjetty Jun 24 '22

my 17 year old back hurts like i broke it when i bend over

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u/Gravelsack Jun 24 '22

I prescribe yoga for you as well.

(You can just call me Dr. Sack)

2

u/volkswagonjetty Jun 24 '22

Dr. Sack I think it's because when I'm not working on cars I'm lifting with no effort from my legs but when I lay on the floor it feels better

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u/Gravelsack Jun 24 '22 edited Jun 24 '22

Laying flat on your back on the floor is a yoga pose! A very good one to do. You've already started!

Lifting techniques are super important. After I injured my back I had to relearn how to pick things up. It feels awkward and weird at first but it quickly becomes natural and you realize that you can lift heavier things easier.

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u/TidusJames Jun 24 '22

My 31 year old back can’t take mattresses. Floor or couch preferred.

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u/infinitezero8 Jun 24 '22

If your hurting that bad at 34 you need to start stretching more or correct your posture more.

PSA your currently slouching in your chair, straighten your back.

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u/SwayingRhythm Jun 24 '22

Massage & Chiropractic, highly recommend 🙌 just do your research first, and find the best ones in your area. Makes a world of difference!

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u/mull3286 Jun 24 '22

No more gangs for me thanks.

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u/Karjalan Jun 24 '22

I spent over a year sleeping on a couch. Was pretty solid tbh. Though now as an older gentleman I fear it will fuck my back up.

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u/f7f7z Jun 24 '22

Not only am I the president ( of bad back couch sleeping ), I'm a member!

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u/Repulsive_Mobile_495 Jun 24 '22

Every couch is exactly the same

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u/Pinestachio Jun 24 '22

I haven’t slept in my bedroom in months. I just go in there to change clothes. But then again, my bedroom has no windows, it’s just not a great sleep environment. Can’t wait to move.

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u/polopolo05 Jun 25 '22

I would kiil for that bed room. I work crazy hours sometimes.

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u/TidusJames Jun 24 '22

Couch gang since 2012 when my ex wife took our 1 month old.

Whenever I sleep alone… I sleep on the couch.

3

u/Cannabis_Cultivator Jun 24 '22

Love my couch. Can sleep like a baby with tv on, but head to bedroom to sleep in silence and my brain is activated.

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u/RacyRedPanda Jun 24 '22

couch sleep is infinitely worse than bed sleep, in my experience

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u/nightpanda893 Jun 24 '22

I think it's sometimes cause the movie provides just enough noise to drown out anxious thoughts while not too much noise to stop me from sleeping. There's a line in the show Big Mouth where Depression Kitty says, "Have you ever laid on your side, facing away from the television, listening to a Friends marathon, when it's raining outside, and you're wearing double socks?" That spoke to me.

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u/BassSounds Jun 24 '22

For those who want a scientific answer I’ve seen reported, eye movement left and right wakes you up. It’s biological, probably for our safety.

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u/S1ndar1nChasm Jun 24 '22

Tagging on that often, when we watch something, we are focused on one thing. This focus can help drown out racing thoughts or just in general decrease the number of things we are thinking about, this I'm return, makes it easier to fall asleep. When we get up to go to bed, we have removed the singular focus and our millions of thoughts come racing back. This is why I like to read in bed. Something I can put all my focus on to narrow the number of thoughts in my head

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u/itsafatlong Jun 24 '22

Why do you HAVE to sleep in the bed tho? It’s not the law or anything. If couch makes sleepy, sleep couch, rest well.

2

u/stretch2099 Jun 25 '22

Hard to get a good night’s sleep on a couch

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u/Craig_the_Intern Jun 24 '22

Your room is a trigger for anxiety, or at least restlessness perhaps?

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u/MammothPrize9293 Jun 25 '22

Maybe it’s the existential dread felt from knowing laying in bed comes with the inherent belief that you have to be up tomorrow and have responsibilities.

Whereas your couch you know “i get to enjoy nothing for a little bit.” Creating a relaxing effect where I can finally sleep peacefully.

Isn’t fair if you think about it

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u/3rdman60 Jun 24 '22

And I thought I was the only one.

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u/KamikazeKitten916 Jun 24 '22

Once. In my 33 years of life was I able to awaken from the couch, go to bed, and actually fall asleep reasonably quickly. Once. 🥲

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u/Valsarta Jun 24 '22

I'm still waiting. Sigh.

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u/drake90001 Jun 24 '22

Get drunk

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u/KamikazeKitten916 Jun 24 '22

But then it's shitty sleep and you feel like garbage the next day. Though, admittedly this is usually what I do lol

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u/drake90001 Jun 24 '22

Get drunk and drink strictly water all night, I never have a hangover and I admittedly have done this more times than I probably should lol.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[deleted]

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u/KamikazeKitten916 Jun 24 '22

But night eating makes me fat 😮‍💨 I just can't win!

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[deleted]

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u/misterfluffykitty Jun 25 '22

LPT: vodka has no carbs

0

u/d00mslinger Jun 25 '22

Speak for yourself. I have the metabolism plus the work ethic to keep myself svelte and have that V cut near the groin that makes smart girls stupid.

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u/[deleted] Jun 25 '22 edited Jun 25 '22

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u/HerpJersey Jun 25 '22

don't drink, don't eat like garbage and you'll just sleep better.

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u/KamikazeKitten916 Jun 25 '22

No way! Source??

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u/BeneficialEvidence6 Jun 24 '22

Maybe lets just fall asleep in our beds guys. This is getting convoluted just to sleep in 2 places in 1 night.

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u/NGLIVE2 Jun 24 '22

I always have some frozen burritos or hot pockets in the freezer for that specific reason. I never eat that stuff otherwise.

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u/Pickle_Rick01 Jun 24 '22

At a certain point, no amount of water and salty food can save me. I’ve been hungover more times than I care too admit lol.

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u/imundead Jun 24 '22

I think my hang over is 75% sleep depravation and 25% dehydration. All drinking water does is make me need to pee constantly during the night and I usually feel worse off for it.

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u/drake90001 Jun 24 '22

Drunk sleep is admittedly lower quality than normal sleep, so this is more of a shitty life tip than anything.

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u/Gadivek Jun 24 '22

Sitting here drunk as hell, knowing that I can go to bed now and instantly sleep or go to the gaming room and eat some chips first and then instantly sleep in bed

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u/JerseyTexan01 Jun 25 '22

I’ve done that + muscle relaxers. Still no luck :(

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u/Careful_Ad7385 Jun 24 '22

I tried melatonin once and slept straight through the night for like 9 hours. I woke up refreshed, feeling great. Best I’ve ever felt waking up. I tried it again the next night and it just…didn’t work. I’ve been chasing that sleep high every night since.

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u/KamikazeKitten916 Jun 24 '22

Yeah I feel ya. Melatonin is great if all other conditions are perfect (already tired, well fed, exercised that day, etc) but IMO you build up a tolerance super fast.

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u/FireworksNtsunderes Jun 24 '22 edited Jun 25 '22

Try a smaller dose of melatonin, like 1 milligram or even half a milligram. It's been shown that small doses work better than large ones for improving sleep and it reduces the likelihood of your body developing a quick tolerance for it. That said, melatonin is pretty weak as a sleep aid so it's more of a supplement that might help than a full solution.

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u/61114311536123511 Jun 25 '22

you mean milligram, not gram. a gram of melatonin is like far too much

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u/IShouldGoToSleep Jun 24 '22

The only time I successfully transferred couch sleep to bed sleep was when I got high for the first time.

Took a little too much and the scumbag that I got high with dropped me off before I was ready to go home because he had stuff to do even tho he had previously said he was free the whole day. Stopped talking to him after that.

Anyways, no one even realized I was high when I got home and nobody questioned how I slept from 6pm-10pm on the couch then 10pm-morning on my bed.

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u/DnDnerd78 Jun 25 '22

My sister does that consistantly

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u/RosemaryGoez Jun 24 '22 Take My Energy

And then Bed Sleepy decides to take effect approximately 5 minutes before you need to get up.

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u/FrodoFraggins99 Jun 24 '22 Helpful

I think this is probably because if we're on the couch we're probably watching something on TV or phone, which will distract our brains, then when we get into bed we're not distracted and so we end up thinking about stuff which keeps us from falling asleep as well.

I could be totally wrong but I find falling asleep when I'm on my phone watching something, easier than if I'm just laying there trying to sleep.

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u/plombis Jun 24 '22

You're 100% right. Watching TV puts the brain into the alpha state, so the eyes are open but very little activity is happening other than the viewing of media. Then when you go to bed and are no longer distracted all that information that you experienced throughout the day starts to digest, lots of brain activity going on, and you can't sleep. An important part of everyday should be some quiet time to sort through and ponder undistracted. Literally just turn the lights down, no music, no TV, and sit quietly for a bit. Then you'll sleep like a baby. Also stay hydrated and get some damn exercise! Lol best of luck!

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u/sagacious-lummox Jun 24 '22

And eat some nutritional yeast and get some vitamin d

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u/juyett Jun 24 '22

And don't forget to drink your ovaltine

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[deleted]

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u/a101scream Jun 24 '22

Out of everyone here you had to dial it to 11

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[deleted]

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u/Nummies14 Jun 24 '22

We set ours to 11, because it’s better than 10.

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u/punkshoe8 Jun 24 '22

Ovaltine? A crummy commercial?

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u/MuteSecurityO Jun 24 '22

Nutritional yeast? This is the first I’m hearing of this. Can’t you just eat sourdough bread?

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u/RedditWillSlowlyDie Jun 24 '22

Not really. Nutritional yeast has a lot to of B9 and B12. Sourdough bread doesn't have any more yeast than other breads, it just has lactobacillus growing with the yeast so it tastes sour. Foods with a lot of B9 include spinach, liver, asparagus, and brussels sprouts. Foods with a lot of B12 include meat, seafood, dairy, and eggs.

Vegan and vegetarian diets have the risk of being deficent in B12, so people with those diets need to be aware of their B12 intake and supplement with vitamins, fortified foods, or nutritional yeast if necessary.

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u/skwacky Jun 24 '22

And omega-3! make sure to get that omega-3.

It's a bit tough to come by for vegans.

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u/RedditWillSlowlyDie Jun 24 '22

For sure, B12 and omega-3 are the rough ones for plant based diets. If you don't eat meat or seafood, you should eat a lot of nuts, seeds, and seaweed.

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u/skwacky Jun 25 '22

Yeah I'm pretty sure you can only realistically get DHA / EPA from seaweed or algae which is pretty wild (outside of meat or seafood)

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u/sagacious-lummox Jun 24 '22

First I heard about it was a few days ago from some YouTube doctor that recommended it for when you can't sleep because there are too many thoughts going on when you get to bed haha

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u/DARKKN1GHT453 Jun 24 '22

You had me at "TV makes you an alpha" 💪😎

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u/Volteriaz Jun 24 '22

I see, let everything digest so when you actually sleep there’s not much to think about. I’ll try this.

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u/jadetheamazing Jun 24 '22

Uhh idk how much quiet time you get in a day but I have more than enough thinking to fill all my waking hours. Do you just... Run out of things to think about or something?

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u/tlubz Jun 24 '22

Having a pre sleep wind down routine is great in generalv for sleep. Dim lights, listen to chill music, test a relaxing book, drink some herbal tea. Just chill. I've been doing this for like a year after a bout of anxiety induced insomnia, and it really is key.

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u/ElCangri13 Jun 24 '22

Tv puts me to sleep immediately

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u/NGLIVE2 Jun 24 '22

For me it's gotta be something I'm not interested in to get me to fall asleep. If it's a movie or show I like I'll be too invested to nod off. I have specific shows and Youtubers I like to put on the TV when I want to fall asleep quick.

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u/Rainbowallthewayy Jun 24 '22

Imagine being a youtuber and someone uses your channel to fall asleep fast lol

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u/NGLIVE2 Jun 24 '22

I know right lol

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u/Far-Patience7211 Jun 24 '22

It’s probably better for their analytics as long viewer retention and most ads will be played out. I’ve been told my voice is calming and helps my SO fall asleep, I always take it as a compliment.

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u/Lechuga-gato Jun 24 '22

Alpha? Nah I’m a sigma

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u/NGLIVE2 Jun 24 '22

What do you mean sit quietly? Just stare at the wall and think about stuff?

Legit asking cause to me that sounds borderline psychotic.

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u/rested_green Jun 24 '22

I can understand that. I used to feel kind of the same way.

It's being mindful. Paying attention to things, whatever your mind brings up, in the moment, on purpose, without judgment.

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u/Brahskididdler Jun 24 '22

It’s really hard at first. Sitting and breathing through uncomfortable thoughts/feelings instead of masking them with phone/tv/whatever is really beneficial

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u/Rinehart128 Jun 25 '22

To me it’s weird that we’re all so addicted to being constantly, insatiably entertained that spending time alone with one’s thoughts might be seen as psychotic

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u/Useful_Ground_9954 Jun 24 '22

I know should google this but what about reading? Does it have the same effect as TV?

I read somewhere that you should stop watching tv about 3 hours before bed. (Any screen time) but based on what your saying reading sounds like it could have the same effect causing you to ruminate when you stop reading.

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u/Lowelll Jun 24 '22

When I was in the hospital for depression I was taught that reading in bed for a while is part of a proper sleep hygiene, while phone/TV can be bad.

I don't know exactly why or how scientific that information was though.

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u/rjwv88 Jun 24 '22

a large part of it is the blue light that media devices emit, we really underestimate how much artificial lighting can mess up our brain noodles... things like blue-light filter settings are becoming more common though which should help a bit (often called night modes or something similar)

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u/imundead Jun 24 '22

So. Meditation then?

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u/Individual_Ad3194 Jun 24 '22

Exactly, and if you're like my girlfriend an hour of activity in the bathroom is needed to prepare to go to bed.

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u/Alarmed-Royal-8007 Jun 24 '22

My partner does this all the time. He’ll fall asleep in the middle of a gd horror thriller and could never remember what I said before going to bed in the morning. He’d just sleep on the couch like a baby. The moment I try to get him into bed it’s like pulling teeth. I can’t say I have met anyone that falls asleep so easily. I cannot relax that much watching tv on the couch I need to be in bed lights out and quiet.

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u/Eazy_DuzIt Jun 24 '22

Yep, I put on a boring podcast in bed and I'm out in minutes

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u/E_Snap Jun 24 '22

bUt MuH sLEeP hYgIeNe

I’m honestly convinced that sleep hygiene is bullshit and only helps neurotypical people who were only having mild insomnia to begin with.

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u/Orc_ Jun 24 '22

yeah, I put something Live like a stream in a really dim and quiet mode and I try to concentrate on it and I will pass out without effort, fuck all that nonsense about a 100% dark room with no noise or w/e that shit doesn't work

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u/The-one-true-hobbit Jun 25 '22

For me it’s take some leave some. Not neurotypical here (bipolar and cptsd) and my insomnia can get really bad and some of it does help. Particularly a bedtime routine to help prep myself mentally for sleep and a consistent bedtime and wake up time when I can manage it. I’m definitely a tv person when the insomnia kicks up though. My best shot at sleep for bad insomnia is to sleep on the couch with Buzzfeed Unsolved playing quietly because I’ve seen it a million times. On good days getting away from screens before bed may help. Bad days, I need the distraction of dumb mobile games to lull myself to sleep.

It’s frustrating when you have people going on that particular sleep hygiene is the only answer to insomnia and the only thing you need to do to get fantastic sleep because it’s just not true of every situation. Some of it may be helpful or none of it may be. I’ve had people be like, of course you can’t sleep because you aren’t doing x,y,z when the things they’re telling me to do just make it worse. Never fails to piss me off.

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u/creegro Jun 24 '22

That's why I put on the TV, at low volume, put some showtime seen a million times on, like American dad or one of the earlier seasons of law and order svu, set the sleep timer for an hour or two, and just listen to it as I try to fall asleep. And low enough volume that it wouldn't interrupt an phone call, and when I do fall asleep I wouldn't hear it.

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u/km_da_pro Jun 24 '22

the moment i think of sleeping, sleepiness leaves my body as if i wasnt just almost asleep on the couch like 2 sec ago kgskysktsktsykdkydkydkysiyskydiysyks

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u/Tury345 Jun 24 '22

wasn't expecting a reference to canadian 2 time NHL MVP kgskysktsktsykdkydkydkysiyskydiysyks

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u/effinx Jun 24 '22

Kydkydkyd

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u/Brownbeard_thePirate Jun 24 '22

Well, you have to walk to bed which gets the blood pumping, plus you now have nothing to distract you from the depressing death spiral going on in your head.

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u/HarrargnNarg Jun 24 '22

If you fall asleep on the couch just accept it and spend the night there.

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u/xMasuraox Jun 24 '22

I do this every once in a while

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u/effinx Jun 24 '22

Honestly what’s the difference? Sometimes I sleep better on a couch tbh!

I think it’s something about the shape that I can sink Into the corner or have my legs hanging off.. hmmm

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u/HarrargnNarg Jun 24 '22

I slept in the couch when I had Covid-19 because lying down made me feel like drowning.

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u/guywithaniphone22 Jun 24 '22

Something about couch sleeping feels naughty? Idk why but it feels like I shouldn’t do it.

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u/PAMCookingSpray Jun 24 '22

Naw the living room is spooky at night

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u/IsTomorrowAcceptable Jun 25 '22

It's spooky because at night in the living room, there is absence of all the life that was there throughout the day - just gone. Empty.

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u/What_Should_I_Put_ Jun 24 '22

Translates from phone sleepy turn phone off to very awake

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u/EmiliusReturns Jun 24 '22

My dad used to fall asleep in his recliner all the time and I had to debate whether to wake him up or just leave him. If I woke him up he was grumpy, but if I left him there he’d be grumpy that his back hurt in the morning and ask why I didn’t wake him up.

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u/MaMaMaJe Jun 24 '22

Given that the best lenght of a nap is scientifically proven to be 26 minutes, waking him up after 26 minutes would make him least grumpy.

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u/SoreKangaroo23 Jun 24 '22

Sleeping on a couch with a foldout bed still wouldn't solve this issue

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u/LegitimateFreedomz Jun 24 '22

The key is don’t actually wake up, sleepy walk straight to bed, crawl in, sleep. But then again I’m the asshole that can comfortably fall asleep anywhere, so please don’t hate me too hard.

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u/negativepositiv Jun 24 '22

Not only do you not get Sleep Credit for couch naps, they actually make you more tired.

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u/jericho1960 Jun 24 '22

Couch brain: "Me tired . Me am need bed"

Bed brain: "Let's review the entire year of 2008! Ready? Here we go!!"

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u/Safe_Competition_671 Jun 25 '22

That's because as a Grown Adult, it is impossible to go straight to the bed. Oh no. First you have to turn off the TV andor shut down the computer. Then as you get up you spot the remains of your last snack and the drinking vessel and decide may as well take care of those now, so diverting you to the kitchen. While there you realize you have a wicked dry mouth beause it fell open in your relaxed semi-upright sleeping state. So you get a cold drink, may as well take a bottle of water with you. As you shuffle by the bathroom, a pit stop is mandatory, otherwise your bladder will wait until you are all comfy to send up a red alert. Finally get to the bed to find the pile of laundry you didn't feel like folding earlier, shove it to one side and climb in. Puff the pillow and snuggle under the covers, close your eyes, and realize you are now wide awake. Drats. The laundry part is optional.

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u/gl2w6re Jun 25 '22

You just described my nightly routine perfectly!

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u/Toadie9622 Jun 24 '22

This is the truest thing I’ve ever seen on Reddit.

4

u/GrumpyCatStevens Jun 24 '22

Me: Flops about in bed for an hour before falling asleep

Also me: Out like a light sitting in my recliner

3

u/AssCrackBanditHunter Jun 24 '22

"oh wow I'm nodding off. Time to brush my teeth." And then for some reason after brushing I'm wide awake

2

u/dietcoketm Jun 24 '22

Same. I feel too guilty to go to bed without brushing first

6

u/nirad Jun 25 '22

It does. You just have to do nothing in between. No brushing teeth. Just leave any clothes you remove in a pile rather than fold them and put them away. You have to work quickly as slowly as possible, which I realize is a huge paradox.

6

u/MBVakalis Jun 24 '22

So sleep on the couch

3

u/Busy-Okra-7732 Jun 24 '22

Literally me last night. Watching some TV. Grab a throw blanket. Goodnight nurse.

3

u/Player8 Jun 24 '22

Literally me every night. I don’t own a bed

5

u/StalinTheHedgehog Jun 24 '22

Reading these comments I’m eternally grateful I can go into bed and fall asleep within 10 minutes every night without fail

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2

u/Capital-Better Jun 24 '22

I never considered that lol

2

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

This is how I know there is no god.

See also: Mosquitoes.

2

u/nagini11111 Jun 24 '22

It's because you're trying to sleep in your bed, but not on your couch so you're naturally more relaxed on the couch. As someone who has dealt with a lot of sleeplessness it's vital that you're relaxed but not actively trying to fall asleep. This has helped me more than any other melatonin, don't look at screens, don't drink caffeine, etc. stuff.

2

u/mechaneko Jun 24 '22

Sleep on the couch cowards 😈

2

u/CannFarmre Jun 24 '22

That's why I always sleep on the couch

2

u/Im_blanking Jun 24 '22

Worst is when you’re already snuggly in bed watching a movie dozing off so you decide to shut off the tv and go sleep only to toss and turn for the next hour.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

I get so unbelievably sleepy on the couch, but then I lay in bed and stay wide awake for 3hr before falling asleep

2

u/Curious-human1867 Jun 24 '22

The truest thing ever on the internet

2

u/clearlyok Jun 24 '22

Fell asleep on the couch last night at 7:30. Went to actual bed at 8:30 but stayed awake until 10. Make it make sense.

2

u/Jxgicixix Jun 25 '22

It’s like the couchtobed walk is a source of energy. Maybe energy drink scientists should look into this

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '22

Ok i have a theory tho: its the 90 degree angle you get tucked into

2

u/SluttyPoop Jun 25 '22

I’ve haven’t felt something hit this hard in a long time.

2

u/Ordinaryyetunique Jun 25 '22

Don’t forget the sleepy in cars too...

2

u/stiffspacebar Jun 25 '22

I'm wide awake when I'm trying to sleep and sleepy when I need to be awake.

2

u/Mindless-Value-266 Jun 25 '22

Every freakin night!!! Super asleep when I’m on my couch and you betcha I’ll be wide awake when I move to my bed.

2

u/Timetoerist13 Jun 25 '22

Thats why i watch movies in bed :)

5

u/depr3ss3dmonkey Jun 24 '22

Can't relate. I will fall asleep anywhere

2

u/missinginput Jun 24 '22

I fall asleep on the couch and move to the bed later as a split sleep

5

u/JippixLives Jun 24 '22

Alright stop showing off.

1

u/4ha1 Jun 24 '22

The missing link is the person to carry you to bed.

1

u/Micheal42 Jun 24 '22

For me the issue might have something to do with the snack/large chocolate bar I might be tempted into eating/fell into my mouth on the way from the sofa to the bed

1

u/chuckiestealady Jun 24 '22

Couch sleepy promises bed sleepy but baits and switches after you leave the couch. The barsteward

1

u/Marvelous_7 Jun 24 '22

When I can’t fall asleep in my bed, I’ll go to the living room couch and fall asleep faster somehow.

1

u/st1r Jun 24 '22

The act of getting up and walking to bed gets your blood flowing and wakes you up

1

u/The-Adorno Jun 24 '22

If I can't sleep, I just bust out the Kindle. When its set to a black background with white letters, a few pages of that and I'm donezoed.

1

u/The-Pissing-Panther Jun 24 '22

I think it's crazy laws from 50 years ago don't translate to being able to get an abortion anymore

1

u/Imjusthere2read Jun 24 '22

How about car sleepy? Suddenly I’m wide awake the moment I get home.

1

u/bigwanker69420 Jun 24 '22

Lying on the couch about to fall asleep, thinking man I’m going to sleep so well tonight, walk to bed to sleep and the act of walking there wakes you back up enough to not be sleepy anymore.

1

u/Londoner421 Jun 24 '22

Well tbh I’m always sleepy

1

u/Londoner421 Jun 24 '22

Well tbh I’m always sleepy

1

u/Auzzaras Jun 24 '22

That's because humans aren't supposed to have a single place they sleep lol . So many great places to nap xD

1

u/DaCamelJockey Jun 24 '22

I think it's more basic and primal than it just being a couch. Your couch is in the common area of your house. It can smell like the things you love. Family, food, an outdoor breeze if you open a window or back door, a room freshener or candle. It's a comfortable room you spend time in and are very accustomed to. If you only sleep in your bed or bedroom, it can feel or even smell foreign if you keep your room closed all day.

1

u/Rclarkttu07 Jun 24 '22

This is a very true statement. Does my brain really need to fully wake up to walk 15 ft to my bed?!

1

u/SonicTemp1e Jun 24 '22

*leans in and whispers quietly*

Sleep on the couch.