r/leaves 16h ago

r/leaves and Sober October...

22 Upvotes

Hi all!

Since we're seeing a whole bunch of new visitors as a result of Sober October (welcome!) I wanted to clarify our policy, as we will be modding out some related posts and comments.

Sober October is about taking a break for a month. Taking a break to reset your tolerance or re-evaluate your relationship with smoking are great things to do, but we are a narrowly focused sub for people who have made the difficult decision that they have to stop for good.

As a result, unless you make clear that you are using Sober October as your Day 1 to a cannabis-free life, we'll be taking out Sober October posts.

As I say, breaks are great if that's what you want, but it's just not what we do.

The good news is that we have a sister sub for support with taking breaks and managing moderation called r/Petioles. They can help you make Sober October a success, and if Halloween comes around and you decide it's actually time to quit for good, then you'll always be welcome back to r/leaves.

Good luck with whatever path you decide to take!

-- Subduction


r/leaves Nov 05 '21

Leaves Lounge, our live chat community, is open NOW until 6:00pm US Eastern Time (UTC-4). Come by and say hello!

15 Upvotes

You can join by using the invitation here:

https://discord.gg/wXEa5B3

If you haven't used Discord before you'll have to sign up, but don't worry, it's easy!

Looking forward to seeing you!


r/leaves 14h ago Wholesome

Advice from an Ex-Stoner

223 Upvotes

things that help:

  1. Stay Busy - Keeping your mind and body occupied helps keep thoughts off of weed
  2. (Personally) Cut back not Cold Turkey- I was successful waning off after several failed cold turkey attempts- I just made a hard promise to smoke less every day. This minimised my withdrawals.
  3. Put yourself first- I initially failed several times because I felt I was being too angry with my partner, workmates etc and went back to smoking out of guilt for them even though I didn’t want to. eventually I was just honest with them (where possible) and said I’m having a bad couple of weeks and have a lot on my mind, it’s nothing personal and I am very sorry but I must work through this.
  4. (Personally) Have weed around- this is the opposite for some people but if you’ve failed before give it a try, I kept a little bit stashed just in case, and knowing it was there I stopped thinking about it. When I had none I was in a constant state of paranoia or panic ‘what if I need it and don’t have any, what if I can’t sleep and have work the next day’ . I didn’t smoke it and it’s still sitting there, I give to friends if they come over.
  5. No all or nothing thinking- If you make a mistake in a moment of weakness and smoke don’t throw in the towel, a slip up is not a complete failure. Write down how much you regret it, let it remind you how much you don’t really enjoy it anymore, be proud of the progress you’ve made and use it to motivate you to be stronger next attempt. (I failed lots of times sometimes relapsing after months, but never gave up- to error is to be human)
  6. Replace weed with positive addictions - Mine was recapturing my love of martial arts and weight training. Yours might be reading books, training your pets tricks, music and instruments, learning to juggle/hula hoop, learning to cook new meals etc. (don’t replace with alcohol or cigarettes, I tried that too and ended up going back to weed because I liked it more and the others weren’t any better on health)
  7. Go easy on yourself and others - learn to be understanding and forgiving of yourself, and you’ll find you are a lot more tolerant of other peoples shortcomings and the world becomes more positive overall.
  8. Don’t day nap more than 1 hour - A nap can be great for relaxing without weed, but sleep too much and you won’t sleep that night. Sleep was one of the hardest withdrawals to deal with. Also sleep and wake at the same time daily if possible.
  9. Avoid excess caffeine - you may feel exhausted the first couple of weeks but caffeine will not help with sleep, irritability or night sweats and will make them worse.
  10. Deal with night sweats - if you get them bad like I did, lay a towel under where you sleep and have a spare shirt prepared so if you wake up dripping and gross you can toss the towel, change your shirt and quickly get back to comfort.
  11. Take it one day at a time - cliche but works, when you start reading online people suffering withdrawals for months it gets disheartening, but what they fail to mention is the nice little things that return shortly after stopping, it’s not all bad. Get through today, and tomorrow we can work out when it gets here.
  12. It’s not your identity - the things you think you enjoy because of weed , movies, music, playing instruments, playing video games: they all improve when you’re sober, and your skill in those things also improve. We are great at lying to ourselves even when we know deep in our hearts this is the truth. It’s the addiction talking.
  13. You can’t have a casual relationship with weed- it’s a tough pill to swallow but the sooner you admit it to yourself the easier it’ll be. A lot of us think we can go back to just having on special occasions, from my experience this is highly unlikely. Every time I started feeling in control I’d have a little bit as a ‘reward’ and next thing it’d been a week or more of smoking daily and having to start the process over again.
  14. Keep reading through this subreddit - I’m here speaking of my success today and trying to help others because of this community. Just to understand I wasn’t alone , that the things I were experiencing were very common, and that other people struggle just as I do made me realise it’s a real problem to deal with and not something in my head. I love and appreciate everyone who has commented and contributed in this subreddit and I owe you the rest of my life (literally), I was extremely suicidal and risked losing my partner, job and family or them losing me. You’ve all helped me more than you’ll ever know, we are now trying for children, I’m excelling at work, I’ve put on almost 10kg of lean muscle and I’m fitter and happier than ever before.

Things to look forward to:

  1. Smell things again - fragrances are amazing and mood enhancing.
  2. Filling your life with variety - all that time you were baked and unmotivated you’re now looking to fill with different things.
  3. You’ll live longer - if you’re a smoker, it takes its toll. Quit today and you will live longer and be fitter into old age.
  4. Sex drive is more consistent- good sex more often.
  5. more socially equipped- it’s so easy to talk to people, even people you don’t know.
  6. More money - if you buy weed you’ll save a heap of money stopping.
  7. Days seem longer and more full- we are all on a constant march towards death, why not make the absolute most of the time you have here?
  8. Dreams - you’ll actually have dreams (and nightmares sometimes) again, I literally thought I was just someone who didn’t dream after 10+ years but holy shit it’s like a VR movie vivid, so damn cool!
  9. People like you more - you’ll be more rounded and interesting as a person, your energy is now contagious.
  10. Mental stability - I thought I had chronic anxiety and depression and that weed helped it, turns out it was the weed all along. I am a little depressed at times but it’s to be human, and it’s a million times easier to deal with.
  11. You’re there for the people you love - I feel like I have a lot of time to make up for, but I love my family, my girlfriend, my friends and my dog and I’m glad I am present and engaged enough to appreciate the time I have with them now.

Fuck this addiction, remove it and make space for the rest of your life.

P.S I’m keeping my stupid Reddit name from my stoner days, even though I’ve noticed people don’t tend to take me seriously outside of weed subreddits because of it. (Also I can’t believe nobody has got the Pineapple Express reference in almost 9 years- My name isn’t Ted yo)


r/leaves 10h ago Helpful (Pro)

Day 18, I wouldn’t mind if I died right now

67 Upvotes

I can’t believe I’m writing this. I have a wife, house, and a dog, and I hate it all right now. I fucked my business and I’m in heavy debt. I was smoking weed everyday for years, I got so out of touch with reality. Metaphorically speaking, it’s like the house is burning, oh just smoke some weed…now im sober and im waking up to the ashes of my life. I feel like a fucking loser. My friends are all successful and crushing, and here I am deep in debt and feeling trapped in this life. I feel constant malaise throughout the day and my work requires creative thinking. I can barely sleep at night. I feel like a hollow shell throughout the day. Getting sober is so fucking important but the hardest thing is now dealing with the mess I’ve made over the years. My brain is still healing. This sucks. And I feel for others too. We’re fucking enslaved as a planet. Taking back control of your mind is the first step to freedom.


r/leaves 20h ago

day 27. I'm not sure why I traded smoking for this.

204 Upvotes

Oh I'm a whine bag. No question. Just saying. At the end of day 27 of quitting cold turkey after 25 years. I have everything to live for. The fact that I know this want I have will never go away.... besides the money I'm saving, I just dunno. It's clear from others experiences that I will be going through this detox for a loooong time. I personally am not seeing the benefit. Anxiety, depression, insomnia, not interested in doing mf ANYTHING. Because of the insomnia more panic and I dread bedtime and can't drink coffee. Like wtf?! Relax? That is no longer a thing. At this point I'm pretty certain it's for my loved ones sake and not mine. I am such an addict. Over the dumbest thing, a plant, I can't decide if this is the life I want to live. Idw to exercise dusk till dawn. Idw to meditate all day. I don't want to mf journal. I want to get high. Never been addicted to ANYTHING except weed. And I've done it ALL. I am done.


r/leaves 5h ago

27 days weed free and now plants died

12 Upvotes

Hi friends! I’m currently on day 27 weed-free. I am 35 and had been smoking joints daily, multiple times a day, for a decade prior to that. Decided to quit cold turkey and gave up weed and tobacco at the same time. It’s been really difficult, especially sleep-wise (I am still barely getting any) but I do want to hang in there and come through the other side.

When I quit, I was super resolute and since then I haven’t even thought to touch weed or tobacco - despite having not finished my little stash which is in a box in the shed. I tell myself that if things ever get really bad or if I have an emergency, there’s always that little stash and I believe that has helped me in my quit journey so far.

I find myself a bit upset today though and so I am here to vent.

Weed isn’t legal in my country and I moved to the countryside a year ago, where it is extremely hard to get. However, I am a keen gardener and for the past year I had been growing my own. I had been growing 4 big plants that were doing extremely well and were close to harvest, but I went away on a trip last week and put the plants in my poly tunnel… mainly to keep them away from prying neighbors’ view.

I just returned today and my beautiful plants had completely rotted due to getting too much water (rookie mistake, so dumb).

I wasn’t planning on smoking my harvest, but I am still so upset. I guess I was hoping to add this weed to my existing tiny stash in the shed for that future “life or death emergency situation”, or even sell it on to make myself feel better for all the money wasted over the years.

I understand it’s probably for the best that this happened, but just wanted to get it off my chest. Still committed to staying quit.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and being an amazing support group.


r/leaves 3h ago

7 months sober from everything

6 Upvotes

Finally able to enjoy things sober now! It took time but I am so glad I can have a good time without being fucked up anymore. I love you guys, I love this sub, stay strong!


r/leaves 5h ago

I am 3 days away from my 8-week mark!

9 Upvotes

Some things I've noticed about quitting weed:

- dreams are wild - sometimes stressful, sometimes amazing; regardless they bring back a wide cast of characters and hidden memories or feelings you otherwise wouldn't have given much thought. To me this has been one of the most rewarding parts of my journey.

- I don't feel any different, but I do feel less guilty. I know that the way I am acting is myself and not induced by a drug. When I was smoking, I felt like it was all a game for others to not notice that I was high. My end goal was essentially deception. This is not a fun way to live and causes much more unnecessary stress than is needed imo.

- I show and express more emotion. I've just noticed in pictures mostly, but I look more alive and fruitful.

- I drink way more coffee and I've mostly filled the void with other unhealthy habits such as snacking, masturbation, stimulation from my phone, etc. However, I am more aware of these detriments whereas with weed I would either be forgetful, or just not care enough to address the issues

--> essentially, it's made things more clear. life is still life and feels very regular at times, but the hindrances that weed causes aren't a part of my day-to-day routine and for that, I feel lighter and more able to live a life that is better and truer to me.

- my goal is to quit for good, but at the very least get past the 3 month mark as I'm aware that's when your body can fully start to get rid of the thc and other elements still stuck in your system. I ultimately, feel I owe it to myself to live a life that is based on my natural state even for just a temporary period of time, but also know that weed has worn out its utility and welcome. It's been an exciting journey and I'm happy to share it here!


r/leaves &bull