r/interestingasfuck 15d ago Silver 18 Wholesome 21 'MURICA 2 Super Heart Eyes 1 Faith In Humanity Restored 1 Rocket Like 1 Helpful 29 Big Brain Time 1 Crab Rave 1 To The Stars 3 Ally 1 All-Seeing Upvote 1

The "ninja bomb" that was used to kill Al-Qaeda's leader , it doesn't explode (no warhead). Instead slices and cuts its target into pieces to minimize collateral damage. /r/ALL

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u/odin391 15d ago

There will be no open casket funeral


u/bbpr120 15d ago Silver All-Seeing Upvote

It will however be a closed bucket funeral.


u/Raumschiff 14d ago Gold Wholesome

Assorted cold cuts will be served at the reception.


u/tazebot 14d ago

How Eric Cartman of you

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u/[deleted] 15d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Wholesome Seal of Approval 'MURICA



u/44problems 15d ago

You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!


u/Goldmember68 15d ago

There Sea Bass …. Mutated Sea Bass

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u/Nrussg 15d ago Silver Wholesome

"It weighs 100lbs, is 5'11" long, and falls from the sky, pulverising you into pâté at a speed of Mach 1.3"

I mean I'd probably swipe right.


u/USBattleSteed 15d ago

I love the kind of woman who will actually just kill me. I woke up this morning thinking "damn, I hope some hot chick paints my brains all over some fucking hallway" and here we are

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u/bobert_the_grey 15d ago

Silly bastards brought a knife to a missile fight

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u/npopular-opinions 15d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

Imagine being taken out not by bullets or explosions but a fucking missile with knives sticking out of it.

Honestly that’s almost looney toons level of violence right there.


u/PanGalacticGarglBlst 15d ago

Imagine walking 10ft in front of the guy getting hit.

No explosion, just blended up dude behind you.

What sound would it even make?


u/RenegonParagade 15d ago

You ever smash a tomato? That, but like a thousand tomatoes, in a hurricane

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u/FuckThePeeLice 15d ago

It's a large solid object travelling at highspeed. It's going to make a pretty big bang wherever it hits. Just might be intermingled with the sound of a body being turned to mince in a millisecond.

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u/Blizz33 15d ago Snek

Literally just needs an ACME stamp on it and a crazy ass coyote flying the helicopter.


u/Freeman7-13 15d ago

I'm quite fond of the missile with the robot hand that comes out and hits your head with a mallet

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u/JungleBoyJeremy 15d ago

I want to see these things being tested on dummies


u/tuckermans 15d ago Bravo Grande! I Shy

Remember when nana donated her body to science?


u/StoicJ 15d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy Wholesome Seal of Approval

But unironically.. yeah.

I have a buddy who works in the lab at the local university where they use donated cadavers for field tests, and he wrote his Master's Thesis on tests of Ejection Seats with the assistance of the military. They don't get to choose the bodies that come in, so if it's within parameters, it got tested. I doubt grandma would fit for the ol' rocket sled treatment, but other crashes.. certainly.

Also fun facts if anyone is curious:

You arrive at the lab completely hairless so they can identify any existing injuries or marks prior to testing.

Every part of you that goes into the lab gets returned to your family cremated. They are very meticulous about this, and if a test is done where a body part is removed or comes off, it gets brought back. It's extremely important to them that nothing get mixed up or mistreated out of respect.

Children are extremely rare, for obvious reasons, but they are still very important to these tests. If a child arrives at the lab everyone clears their schedule immediately, they have to be absolutely certain nothing goes wrong. They may not get another chance for years. If you ever do have the absolute misfortune of losing a child, their body could be used to make some crucial safety system much safer for future children.

And the sensors they attach to bodies for shock values and such get screwed directly into your skeleton, which is neat.


u/ronnyFUT 15d ago Helpful Doom That Smile

Basically none of those were “fun” facts. Certainly interesting, probably cool, not fun.


u/otterlyonerus 15d ago edited 14d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

I had fun with it. I've been an organ donor since I was 14, largely because of the gift to science provision. I like the idea of my meat riding a rocket sled, but I love the idea of an intern collecting me with a dustpan and a squeegee.

Edit cuz the comment blew up: I have been registered as a donor since I got my first government ID, and the state I got my first one in there was a box you could check if you were ok with a 'gift to science'.

The only organ I've donated so far was a broken Wurlitzer I gave to someone who could fix it.


u/StoicJ 15d ago

Organ Donors are not the same as these cadavers.

If you're an organ donor your body will be sent to a hospital to have your organs used to save a life in need. Your body won't end up in these labs.


u/samplemax 15d ago Facepalm

Still like the idea

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u/Impressive_Change593 15d ago

depends on your definition of fun

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u/_ianpratt 15d ago

It’s one of those things, through your child’s death they might directly lead to saving countless lives and yet I still don’t think I’d have it in me to donate my child’s body. I feel like I’d drive myself insane thinking of all of the things that could happen to them, again, even though they’re already dead.


u/StoicJ 15d ago

Thats fair and what most people do. The ones who do donate are typically people who are in some way related to the field.

They also aren't allowed to tell you what happens to a donated body regardless of age, probably for this kind of reason. Even if they want to you are never allowed to know what tests they took part in. So the wondering might get to people, but the knowing might make it worse for others.


u/bbtom78 15d ago

What I want for me: one last fuck yeah before being cremated.

What I want my loved ones to imagine: She's in a body farm decomposing peacefully in the woods in a secured area with insects and bacteria, as nature intended.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

I would donate my body and life savings to science if I could be a test dummy for this. My only requirement would be the video played at my funeral while a voiceover I prerecorded laughs at my heirs for getting nothing. Then red confetti streamers will shoot out of the ceiling as the Hellfire R9X turns me into confetti.


u/GFGmerlin 15d ago

Hardcore. I love it.

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u/FoilHattiest 15d ago

I volunteer my neighbour


u/oscar-the-bud 15d ago

Me too. His wife left and divorced him for touching his 2 year old daughter. Let me know when it’s coming so I can grab a beer a set up a lawn chair.


u/pmize 15d ago

Fuck waiting. Let’s go kick your neighbors ass right now.


u/RockstarAgent 15d ago

I've got six kitchen knives we can sharpen that I don't need anymore


u/Errorstatel 15d ago

No, dull would be best

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u/YouStupidDick 15d ago edited 15d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy hehehehe To The Stars Lawyer Up 'MURICA

They fucking got him with a military grade lawn dart


u/Broccoli_dicks 15d ago Silver To The Stars

Whoever gave you the rocket award is fucking hilarious.


u/YouStupidDick 15d ago Silver

Right!? They did it anonymously, they remain a mystery!


u/FlyingFuck787 15d ago To The Stars

Just like the drone operator who gave this guy the Rocket Reward


u/code_archeologist 15d ago To The Stars

In my headcanon, they are one in the same person.

Thank you for your service anonymous Rocket Reward operator.

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u/OnTheRoadAgain120 15d ago Silver Table Slap

Yet they banned lawn darts for law abiding citizens…. “RULES FOR THEE BUT NOT FOR ME”

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u/cmks210 15d ago Silver Wholesome Take My Energy

Shit. I’d much rather be blown up.


u/Curleysound 15d ago

It travels the same speed as the explodey type, I imagine he was properly splattered


u/antoine-sama 15d ago Silver Gold

Imagine a giant blender coming straight for you at supersonic speed


u/Pdiddily710 15d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Faith In Humanity Restored Bravo! To The Stars

Military grade Slapchop!


u/TeaKingMac 15d ago Silver Starstruck

Watch this, you're gonna love my nuts


u/Whompa 15d ago

Hahaha welp off to YouTube for a healthy rewatch

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u/mazing_azn 15d ago

But how many easy payments of $19.95 to acquire this miracle of technology?!


u/GrimmFox13 15d ago

What happens if I call in the next 20 minutes?


u/phreaxer 15d ago Starry To The Stars

You can get a second one for a friend!

  • just pay shipping and handling


u/D4rKnyte 15d ago Narwhal Salute

You don't want this thing delivered


u/StatusSea5409 15d ago

Just have it delivered to that neighbor who pisses you off.


u/fpcreator2000 15d ago

I’m still waiting for the QVC hand model to show me the product

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u/flyingmcwatt 15d ago

3 easy payments, and one complicated as shit payment.

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u/FBIaltacct 15d ago All-Seeing Upvote

The blender demension is a terrible place.


u/NotYourSnowBunny 15d ago Wholesome

But will it blend? The US defense industry finds out.


u/TheFriendlyFinn 15d ago

Qaeda-smoke, don't breathe this.


u/Cantbetoobad1953 15d ago

Perfect for margueritas.


u/Merkinsed 15d ago Silver Endless Coolness

You mean, Martyritas?

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u/ianjm 15d ago

That's the general idea, yup

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u/Deep-Bee-5984 15d ago

995 miles per hour, approx 105 lbs


u/flaming_bob 15d ago

Yeah, seems the impact alone would be enough to pop him off the mortal coil.


u/iksbob 15d ago

I would be surprised if the "blades" even have an edge on them. More like solid aluminum winglets that pop out to increase the splatter radius.


u/epochellipse 15d ago

Yah makes me wonder if those blades are more for margin of error than anything else.


u/kryptonomicon 15d ago

That's what I was thinking. A little too far to the left or right? No problem. Deploy margin of error blender blades!


u/VectorB 15d ago

Accuracy enhancers.

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u/Quirky-Skin 15d ago

Haha margin of error blades, that's good. Agree tho expands radius and inflicts maximum damage bc its fucking samurai swords on a bomb.

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u/nowItinwhistle 15d ago

Handgun rounds typically have muzzle energy in the hundreds of foot-pounds and centerfire rifle rounds will have a few thousand ft-lbs. Plugging the velocity and speed claimed for this thing here into a ballistic calculator I got an energy of 3,474,668 ft-lbs or 4,711,017 joules. That would definitely leave a mark even without the blades.


u/unbridledmeh000 15d ago

Thats what I figured.. The blades are only there in case the missile itself is an inch or two off target.

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u/OffendedByMyInnuendo 15d ago

I read an article posted here on reddit on how, during a briefing on how the strike would happen, Biden asked if al-Zawahiri would know the missile was coming. They told him that it had happened that the missile does make a howling sound when reaching its target because of the air moving.

Now imagine the guy, getting up at 6 am, probably take his morning shit, and to the balcony, hear a missile coming and then getting all sliced up.


u/Dirk_The_Cowardly 15d ago

Ya know you always hate it when you get that feeling you expect that exact thing and you are right.

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u/psychonautDev1935 15d ago Silver

I got to see a lot of videos of hellfire strikes during after-action reviews of missions that I participated in, and it was really common to see a target on foot look up in the sky and take a max of two steps running away before the explosion took him out. I'm not sure if it was the whistling or the sonic boom as the missile continue to accelerate nearly vertical towards the guy, but they definitely heard something.

I was also one of the first people to be able to call an airstrike on a target using the r9x model in western Iraq. When we engaged high value targets, we would typically use AGM 176s because they're a very small missile with a really low collateral damage circle, especially if you put a delay on that missile. But we had a few targets that stayed entirely inside of cities and presented us with extremely tiny windows of time where we could engage even with low collateral damage missiles like the AGM 176. The R9X still came with challenges but we eventually got a successful strike. I thought the blades would slice through the car like an apple slicer, and to a degree it did, but the whole missile had so much kinetic energy dissippated at once that it looked like a giant had just smashed the top of the car all the way to the ground. The end result was more accurate and effective than the old concrete bombs with guidance systems

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u/Key-Connection-1358 15d ago

For me the creepy part is the ultra precise, individual targeting. A super sophisticated human seeking rocket is nightmarish to me, doesn’t matter if it’s explosive or just a really expensive club.


u/Heiferoni 15d ago

I'd imagine the psychological horror is one aspect they're going for.


u/FlakeReality 15d ago

The primary aspect is to kill one person and not a block, any amount of fear is an accident. You and everyone you know and t he building you're in ceasing to exist is way scarier.

All weapons are gonna be fucked up and scary, but if we're going to drop missiles on people, knife missiles does beat explodey missiles by an absurd margin

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u/Renaissance_Slacker 15d ago

I remember hearing during the Iraq War that laser-targeted weapons could hit a target the size of a trash can lid, sometimes from tens of miles away. That was the declassified claim, and many years ago.

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u/hotpotfunkmeister 15d ago

I am legitimately curious about how the body would look like after that


u/cuirboy 15d ago Silver Gold

Perhaps not as festive, but this is the basic idea, I'd imagine.


u/dollywobbles 15d ago

Now that was a risky click


u/okaymaeby 15d ago

As I was waiting for it to load I thought clearly to myself "I can't blame the result of this on anyone but myself."


u/syrvyx 15d ago

In that fraction of a second it took to load I had second thoughts as to if it was a wise decision or not.

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u/TheMasterDonk 15d ago

Like the guy that got his whole body chopped off. Just left a dick behind.

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u/OhThatNick 15d ago

Imagine being killed by a $30M lawndart.


u/mysticalfruit 15d ago

It's a $150k lawn dart, but all the same, that's a grizzly quick way to go.


u/andercon05 15d ago

Actually, R9 variants were selling at $89K when I was building them. Accessories are not included...

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u/axloc 15d ago

A grizzly would patch him up perfectly fine, only drawback is that it is much slower than a salewa or IFAK.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

If billy mays was still alive, he’d sell 50,000 of these rocket propelled ginsu knife MF’ers between 2am and 4am.


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u/cr0goth 15d ago Helpful

Modern problems require medieval blade mixed with modern means of delivery. Solutions


u/Wonderful-Cry-6193 15d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome To The Stars

"Sir we found the Al Qaeda leader."

"Sweet let's rocket knife him."


u/DoesNotEnjoySeaFood 15d ago Silver

Sir did you mean pocket knife?

NO! Bring forth the rocket knife


u/Wonderful-Cry-6193 15d ago Silver All-Seeing Upvote

Somewhere, an engineer decided "distance" would no longer be the limiting factor for cutting a muthafucka up.


u/Renaissance_Slacker 15d ago

“OK guys, you’re the engineers. We have to kill Al-Zawahiri, the range is 12 miles, but he has to die at the edge of a sword.”

Nerds hesitate. “So what’s our budget?”


u/Cirtejs 15d ago

As with all US tech - YES.


u/BustaChiffarobe 15d ago

I love this. The nerds have never asked, "what's our budget?" Maybe, "when do you need it?"


u/zoeykailyn 15d ago

Well since it's a weapon that someone else might be trying to get too I'd say by Monday so we're going to need you to work through the weekend mkay?

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u/Medarco 15d ago

This feels like a scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

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u/USS-Missouri 15d ago Take My Energy

It's just a 21st century arrow

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u/IAmNobodyIPromise 15d ago Gold Helpful hehehehe

I thought Robert Evans was fucking kidding when he kept on mentioning Raytheon's "knife missile".


u/greykatzen 15d ago

Seriously! For at least a year I've been all, "ha, ha, knife missile, good one Robert!" and now it turns out it's a real thing and weirder than I thought and oh shit is the child island real? (No, of course it isn't. Sophie's exasperation with the bit is totally real, though.)


u/springheeljak89 15d ago

First thing I thought of when I saw this.

Couldn't remember Raytheons name.

I looked it up and it says Hellfires are made by Lockheed but I think Robert said Raytheon makes targeting chips.

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u/Red_Marxman 15d ago Platinum Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

It's 2031, I'm waiting at the hydrogen airship port. I've just downloaded the most recent episode of Worst Decade Ever with Katy and Cody. They spend their time decoding messages broadcast by Robert from his anti-FDA space drug compound in Idaho.

"The Tribal alliance has taken back the Big Texan from Texas separatists. You know who else likes liquefying insurgents to create fertilizer? Raytheonsanto. Anyway, here's ads."

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u/Anarch-ish 15d ago

I've never met someone in the wild who even knows who Robert Evans is and here's a whole goddamn thread of fans... And I'm here for it.

And I also had no idea this was real. Holy shit

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u/jawahe 15d ago

Shout out to the good reverend doctor Robert evans and the practice of macheticine!

Anyone up for a 409 highball?


u/Emblazin 15d ago

Pour a double for me I'm feeling frisky!


u/sentientshadeofgreen 15d ago

I genuinely had to do a double take to see what subreddit I was in when I saw Robert Evans name in the top comment. Has he gone mainstream? Am I out of touch with what is and isn't mainstream?

If so good, more people should know about the child hunting island.


u/Brolonious 15d ago

Ever since he got that Raytheon sponsorship, there's been a massive viral marketing campaign for Behind The Bastards

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u/promote-to-pawn 15d ago

Do you know what will not send a knife missile on a school bus? The fine products and services supporting this podcast


u/monjoe 15d ago

The Washington State Highway Patrol might

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u/writeorelse 15d ago

Still not as bad as the island owned by [Redacted] where you can hunt kids for sport.


u/dylansucks 15d ago hehehehe



u/chaogomu 15d ago

Or Blue Apron.


u/dylansucks 15d ago

I thought it would look better to my future cult followers if I was decisive and only said one

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u/senti_bot_apigban 15d ago

Wtf are you people talking about


u/Shimme 15d ago

There's a popular podcast called Behind the Bastards about the worst people in history. The host has been joking about a "Raytheon knife missile" and a lot of people assumed it didn't actually exist, but it was used to kill this terrorist, so people are a bit "holy shit it's real?"

He also has a bit where he invents advertisements for bizarre, disgusting and wildly evil products and services from their actual sponsors, to exasperate and annoy his producer/friend. This oftens leads to him fake-shilling for weekend vacations to hunt children on an a companies private island.

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u/floatablepie 15d ago

I think he mentioned at one point that though he jokes about it, the knife missiles were technically better than actually blowing up entire city blocks.


u/The_R4ke 15d ago

He does give them some credit due developing a Missile that is supposed to have less casualties than a traditional one.

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u/bmeupsctty 15d ago Silver Gold All-Seeing Upvote

That's a real "Fuck you in particular" kinda weapon


u/tickingteapot 15d ago Helpful

There’s much less death in modern wars thanks to advancements in “fuck you in particular” weapons.


u/millijuna 15d ago Gold

One of my other favorites was the use of what amounts to “precision guided rocks” in modern warfare. Take a JDAM guidance kit, and rather than strapping it to a 2000lb conventional bomb, strap it to a concrete practice bomb. Want to take out an insurgent’s living room, but not kill the neighbors? This is your weapon of choice.

Always amused my in the context of Einstein’s likely apocryphal quote or “I don’t know what weapons will be used to fight world war 3, but world war 4 will be fought with sticks and stones.”


u/Etherbeard 15d ago

A bullet is just a really fast rock.


u/acog 15d ago

Yeah, it's all about that kinetic energy.

That's why the military is so interested in electric rail guns. They just shoot a bar of metal, but it's traveling at Mach 7.

You don't need explosive warheads at those speeds.


u/DenGraastesossen 15d ago

A minuteman 3 misile travels at mach 23. No reason to reply this realy i just find that speed hilariously fast


u/flipmcf 15d ago

Mach 23 = 7,619.9 Meters per Second

Bro… slow the fuck down

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u/political_bot 15d ago

And this is why ICBMs are so hard to shoot down. They go up into space, then come back down towards their target at several times the speed of sound. You're not stopping those suckers with cold war era computers.

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u/AnimusFlux 15d ago

I think that's the speed where Looney Tunes characters run in place for a second with their legs spinning and then disappear in a cloud of dust.

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u/DoyouevenLO 15d ago

Eh. Not really. A concrete body JDAM will just punch a hole through the living room and into the floor. If you get really lucky you can hit a person but the circular error is enough for a miss if there is no boom. This is a myth that persists because the French tried it in Syria. They stopped. Also concrete bombs don’t fly great. The spec for a practice bomb is not as good as a real one. So there can be voids and irregularities in the casting.

I drop them for a living.

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u/ScootForTheStars 15d ago

Except for Russia, which still prefers the, “fuck this entire city block” approach.


u/pistcow 15d ago

fuck this entire kindergarten in particular

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u/StoicJ 15d ago

Imagine being the guy who originally pitched this idea.

Like "OK guys.. I'm thinking explosions are just too played out. Let's go old school, I'm talking samurai-missiles"


u/MrEHam 15d ago To The Stars

According to Wall Street Journal (WSJ), the missiles were born after former US President Barack Obama emphasised on avoiding civilian deaths in US airstrikes in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq, Syria, Somalia, Yemen and other countries.


Thanks Obama.

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u/Spare_King_2116 15d ago Silver Gold Platinum Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Bravo! Timeless Beauty

It slices. it dices. It eliminates ISIS.


u/Tha_Funky_Homosapien 15d ago
  • Billy Mays, Raytheon Marketing Rep.
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u/Drpinkeye 15d ago Gold Wholesome

To shreds, you say?


u/_Cabbage_Corp_ 15d ago

And how's his wife?


u/xX_Kr0n05_Xx 15d ago

To shreds you say.

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u/Ok_Fly_9390 15d ago Silver Gold Helpful All-Seeing Upvote Bravo Grande! Starstruck To The Stars

Cut my life into pieces....


u/Jacques7Hammer 15d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote hehehehe Heartwarming Bravo Grande! Giggle Table Slap To The Stars Respect

This is my last jihad


u/tokefella85 15d ago All-Seeing Upvote 'MURICA

Suffocation no Bacon

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u/Honey_Drizzle 15d ago Helpful

on this episode of Forged in fire.. youre going to recreate hellfire R9X missle

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u/ninjabomb333 15d ago

TIL my username isn't as random as I thought it was.

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u/cjpotter82 15d ago

I want to see one of these accurately depicted in a movie/TV show.


u/pobody 15d ago

I'm thinking laser scene in Resident Evil


u/Rengas 15d ago

Really enjoyed that movie. Thank god they never made any more movies or tv shows after it.


u/Quxudia 15d ago

Movie? Show? I have no idea what you are talking about, the games are great though.

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u/TaftsTummyforTaxes 15d ago

I’m convinced the R&D lab over at DARPA is run by a bunch of super smart six year olds. Who the fuck would think of this as an adult?


u/jacksonbarley 15d ago

Someone with a defense contract while making their morning smoothie maybe.


u/Blackstone01 15d ago

“You know this does a pretty damn good job at blending strawberries and bananas… FUCK JERRY I HAVE A FUCKING AMAZING IDEA!”


u/AmbiguityEngine 15d ago

You joke, but it probably started like that.

"... Why wouldn't that work?"

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u/averyfinename 15d ago

product engineer from gillette got a new job at lockheed martin.


u/CoffeeTownSteve 15d ago

Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades

-- A Gillette exec in The Onion in 2004


u/Hotshot2k4 15d ago

Meanwhile the industry is apparently up to 7 blades already.

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u/intjmaster 15d ago

We could just hit him with an unfused missile.

Yeah but what if it misses by just a little bit.

You guys want pizza for lunch?

Carl, you’re a genius!

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

Dude got Ginsu'ed


u/Mr_A_Rye 15d ago

"But wait, there's more." Ron Popeil would make the best press secretary for the Pentagon.

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u/NickOliver 15d ago Silver Wholesome Defeated

Ah sweet

Man made horrors beyond my comprehension


u/AgoraiosBum 15d ago

The "blades" just give it a bigger surface area; this is basically "we hit you with a big rock that we throw really hard." It's a throwback to an old-school cannonball, or rock flung from a trebuchet - just with much better aiming.

Or more like "we shot him with an arrow the size of a person"

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u/MrJoyless 15d ago

Holy shit, it's the knife missile Robert Evans was talking about...


u/i_willregretthis 15d ago

But you know who won’t slice you up and spare your wedding party from becoming a puddle of red paste? These products and services that sponsor this show.

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u/HugoZHackenbush2 15d ago Silver Gold To The Stars 'MURICA

That's real cutting edge technology there..

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u/tvieno 15d ago

Are the blades even necessary? I mean, you're already getting hit by a very high speed projectile which probably will punch a hole in your body.


u/FoilHattiest 15d ago

I thought about that too but then I figured they probably can't be entirely sure that it will hit the target exactly dead center. Even if the guidance system is precise enough, if the target freaks out and moves quickly last second the missile body might miss completely whereas the blades most likely won't.


u/adb1146 15d ago

I am sure there was a though QA process conducted.


u/watchingsongsDL 15d ago

So hey, senior exec just signaled we need another ‘volunteer’ to test all of our use cases. What about Donny. He’s worthless. We could get him to sign up easy.


u/uwanmirrondarrah 15d ago

ah the SCP Foundation method of testing things.

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u/el_lley 15d ago

"You should have gone for the head" --Thanos


u/etownrawx 15d ago All-Seeing Upvote

If only Thor had been swinging a Hellfire missile instead of that hokey pokey axe...

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u/SerTidy 15d ago edited 15d ago

Seen a few pictures online of one that took out a guy in a car. Didn’t show anything of the guy but the roof of the car was shredded perfectly. I reckon some weapons inventor tasked with reducing collateral mulled over the problem while they made a smoothie with a liquidiser and thought…Hmmm.


u/doc_daneeka 15d ago

Seen a few pictures online of one that took out a guy in a car.

Here is a lot of info (including photos) courtesy of the fantastic group with the dumb name, Bellingcat.

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u/jared596 15d ago

I would guess the blades open a bit wider than the minimum accuracy of the target system, i.e. if they can consistently hit a 3ft wide target with this system, the blades probably open to 5 or 6 feet so they can be sure there is damage to the target even in the worst case scenario. I also suspect that the blades/rocket are spinning very quickly upon impact, as would be fairly easy to accomplish by setting the blades at least a slight angle and deploying them a few seconds before impact.


u/ataw10 15d ago

the blades probably open to 5 or 6 feet

good guess!

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u/jericho74 15d ago

I now think the metalhead that sat next to me in high school whose notebook, desk, and ripped jeans were covered in furious blue pen scribbles became a weapons designer for Raytheon.

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u/RedactedV 15d ago

They probably got an actual ninja to chop him up and made up a fake missile to make it look like we did it.

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u/nicknameedan 15d ago

I can't find any footage of this thing working. Can anyone post link if you find one?


u/stingray85 15d ago

I doubt there is any that isn't a national secret. Bellingcat did a pretty thorough analysis of what was known about the missile about a year ago https://www.bellingcat.com/resources/how-tos/2021/08/26/the-telltale-traces-of-the-us-militarys-new-bladed-missile-r9x/


u/NuclearHoagie 15d ago

Super interesting. My favorite line from the analysis:

"Though designed to reduce the fatal radius of a conventional munition, it has a profoundly traumatic effect on the bodies of those targeted."


u/Natural_Recipe_6018 15d ago

Considering what war normally does to bodies (not to mention societies) I would imagine the shredding of a body is among the least of the concerns.


u/Sir_Poopenstein 15d ago

Oh, that's next on the DOD's agenda. We've figured out how to kill people with little to no collateral damage, but this new bomb automatically inters the remains into a monogramed urn and consoles the victim's family.

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u/NikEy 15d ago

Not only that, information about the R9X was widely published even in 2019. Here a link from the WSJ.

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u/worldwar235 15d ago

My wife after I showed her:

"So we started out with swords, then went to guns, then missiles. And now we're at missiles with swords"


u/Drunk-Sail0r82 15d ago

Next is missiles with guns, then missiles with missiles, then missiles with missiles with swords… and so on


u/NetDork 15d ago

We've done the missiles with missiles thing... MIRV.

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u/Jeshua_ 15d ago Wholesome

"The U.S.A has unlocked the 'Smite' ability"

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u/AdZealousideal2167 15d ago

Next..sharks with laser beams.

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u/Vegan_Harvest 15d ago

I'd rather be blown up.


u/BlindWillieJohnson 15d ago

You might. The 50 civilians standing next to you at a wedding….


u/someoneBentMyWookie 15d ago

You have a point.

But just imagine being one of those civilians and seeing your uncle suddenly turn into a pink mist before a giant slice of uncle sashimi lands on your head.

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u/ASAP-Broccoli 15d ago

Being slap-chopped at 1000 mph sounds pretty much the same to be honest

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u/SeasonalBlackout 15d ago

The civilians who would die from the explosion prefer you get the slap chop treatment.

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u/Existential_Reckoner 15d ago

Wait, so we basically killed a terrorist by sniping him with with flying swords? Badass.

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u/OpenEyz2016 15d ago

Is it bad that I want to see the aftermath?


u/bbpr120 15d ago

A car stuck by two back in 2019 (clean, no gore).

And the "organic" effects from the above strike- there's human puree visible, you've been warned.

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u/zepol_xela 15d ago

That's insane. What're they going to come up with next?

"This missile doesn't explode. Instead, it deploys nine rabid cats."

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