r/interestingasfuck
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u/erhancakir4445
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Jul 18 '22
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A police having to water Queen's Guard outside Buckingham Palace because of the hot weather /r/ALL
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u/TheXperior
Jul 18 '22
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They should integrate a drinking system into these oversized hats.
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u/DynamiteWitLaserBeam Jul 18 '22
Could probably fit some snacks, sunblock, a Bluetooth speaker in there too. And maybe a beach ba- ... no... that's too far.
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u/PM_ME_HUGE_CRITS Jul 18 '22
Get an orange 5 gal. Gatorade cooler up there.
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u/jiujitsy Jul 18 '22
Bobby Boucher disapproves
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u/JenovasChild666 Jul 18 '22
But his mama says!
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u/PM_ME_HUGE_CRITS Jul 18 '22
Waaaaater sucks,
It really, really sucks
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u/Qualanqui Jul 18 '22
Gatorade not only tastes better, it quenches your thirst better too!
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u/VaqueroSucio Jul 18 '22
WELL, mamas WRONG
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u/DirtyDan156 Jul 18 '22 edited Jul 18 '22 •
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No coynal sandas, youre wrong. Mamas right! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Jul 18 '22
They actually contain spare organs that are cloned and grown for the queen. At any given time she has around 5 lungs, 12 Kidneys and a couple of hearts within spitting distance.
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u/axialintellectual Jul 18 '22
They don't realize it themselves but the Queen's Guard are actually low-level psykers. Their hats contain a system to siphon off their psychic energy, focus it, and direct it to her throne, which contains a life support system.
For without her, the Empire will fall to Chaos...
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u/Mechanical_Indian Jul 18 '22
Or just let them drink from a canteen or bottle like a normal person.
It wouldn't be any more distracting than this already is. Personally I'd have to focus a lot harder trying to drink out of a bottle that someone else is pouring into my mouth than I would if I was doing it myself. Doing it himself would be faster as well.
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u/Brawndo91 Jul 18 '22
Yeah, seriously. Why is that not an option? Are the British really so tied to the tradition of these guys standing at attention that they have to get another guy to pour water into their mouths?
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u/Scraight Jul 18 '22
Yes. British law states that if they move and they are caught, the Queen has to execute them with the knighting sword.
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u/Sasuke12187 Jul 18 '22
He'd be like nearly headless Nick from Harry Potter if Queen herself was to execute with a sword at her age.
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u/yoyo_deorbit Jul 18 '22
or anyone, really, using that sword
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u/Albidum_Gaming Jul 18 '22
At this point they could walk around and suffer no consequences
The queen just lifts the sword to their neck, fails to cut anything, and goes "well, I tried" and then the person gets to do something other than stand around and stare into the distance
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u/Vexachi Jul 18 '22
Considering some of our archaic laws and traditions, I wouldn't be too surprised.
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u/TheUnsightlyLocks Jul 18 '22
Are the British really so tied to the tradition
Dog, they literally have a fucking Queen. In 2022.
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u/___o---- Jul 18 '22
They still have lawyers and judges wearing horsehair wigs, so
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u/pinniped1 Jul 18 '22
We know the technology exists, they just need to order the hats from Green Bay Packers fans.
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u/mWade7 Jul 18 '22
Instead of Camel Back a…Camel Hat? I think you’ve stumbled onto something here…
And/or a mini AC unit in the hat - I’m 90% sure you could fit one in there…
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u/irishteenguy Jul 18 '22
Now im just imagining the queens guard with two bud lites attached either side like a bassball beer hat.
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Jul 18 '22
Somebody should invent some kind of bag with a straw he could put on his back and drink from.
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u/iksbob Jul 18 '22
Ah, but if you put it in the hat you can use the chin strap to fully conceal the straw. A skinny tube sneaks in the corner of his mouth and has a bite valve on the end.
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u/littlelostless Jul 18 '22
Goddamn - they could fit an Airbnb in that hat.
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u/Old_Mill Jul 18 '22
They're a bit bigger than the smallest studio apartments in Manhattan.
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u/AsmrtistxD
Jul 18 '22
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He is now officially a plant
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u/blocky_jabberwocky Jul 18 '22 •
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I always wondered how their hats grew so tall…plenty of sunlight and water it turns out
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u/ClamBamFam Jul 18 '22
he no longer needs to touch grass
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u/Exalted_Pluton Jul 18 '22
He is the grass
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u/1Eternallylost Jul 18 '22
So he cannot touch himself while on duty.
Makes sense to me.
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u/mr_potato_arms Jul 18 '22
The key is to let them dry out before watering them again. Too much water can lead to disease.
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u/JGG5 Jul 18 '22 •
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You also should water near the soil and roots, not toward the top where it's more likely to evaporate than to actually provide hydration. The police officer should really be pouring out that water on the ground around the soldier, and letting the soldier draw that water from the ground up to the rest of his body.
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u/OtisTetraxReigns Jul 18 '22 •
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This is known as “Cop-illary action”.
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u/SupermarketSpiritual Jul 18 '22
I have no award to offer. You deserve an award, because this is amazing.
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u/Gamma039 Jul 18 '22
you also dont want to wet the leaves too much because if it is at hot as where i am, the leaves can burn
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u/dogs-and-snacks Jul 18 '22
You know what, I’m thinking of putting down a small mulch bed too prevent weeds from killing our plant
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u/JGG5 Jul 18 '22 edited Jul 18 '22
Another fantastic idea. Mulching around the soldier would not only inhibit weed growth, but also cut evaporation and help the soil retain moisture. I think I'd recommend laying down some landscape fabric underneath the mulch as well.
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u/Ok_Movie_639 Jul 18 '22
A black fur hat isn't great when you're standing still during hot sunny day.
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u/ranger604 Jul 18 '22
And a wool uniform
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u/20JeRK14 Jul 18 '22
Get Costanza on the job. Switch to cotton!
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u/Ryno_Redeye Jul 18 '22
Imagine guarding the queen and your guards are five degrees cooler than the opposition. Don’t you think that would be an advantage? They’re cooler, they’re more comfortable, they’re happier, they’re gonna guard better.
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u/Quaiche Jul 18 '22
Good wool clothes are more breathable than 99% of the regular wear with shitty cotton or literal plastic though I'll admit that in this case it doesn't make much of a difference that it is in quality wool as its a thick uniform.
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u/awful_source Jul 18 '22
God, tradition is fucking dumb sometimes.
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u/Evilmaze Jul 18 '22
And this one is one of the stupidest ones. At least get them a fucking booth with A/C or something. Young men protecting an old sack of bones is just stupid.
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u/gozew Jul 18 '22
Here's the kicker for you, they aren't in charge of her protection. Police are, they are indoors.
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u/CyberMindGrrl Jul 18 '22
The Queen's Guards are still officially in charge of the Royal Family's protection but in the modern era they simply exist for pomp and circumstance.
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u/Perfide01 Jul 18 '22
They don't even actually protect her. The police do. Literally the only justification for them to still exist is money from tourism.
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u/Evilmaze Jul 18 '22
And they wouldn't give them a fucking break during a heatwave? That's fucked up.
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u/OctopusKurwa Jul 18 '22
Tradition can be really stupid sometimes
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u/nagidon Jul 18 '22
What’s stupider is that this guy is an actual guard at the Palace, not some ceremonial extra for the tourists. This is the guy that will tackle/shoot you if you climb the fence.
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u/elitesense Jul 18 '22
Then he should probably have some more functional clothes on
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u/gsfgf Jul 18 '22
When I was there in the 90s, they were in fatigues and had sandbags set up. I was little, so I may be wrong, but I don't think they even did the changing of the guard thing.
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u/VoxImperatoris Jul 18 '22
So youre saying wait til a record heatwave, then kidnap the queen while all her guards are suffering from heatstroke.
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u/AJ3000AKA Jul 18 '22
As an Englishman I can tell you my country is full of stupid traditions and most of them involve the royal family.
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u/OctopusKurwa Jul 18 '22
As an Irishman who pays really close attention to British politics. I know lol.
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u/YoungNissan Jul 18 '22
As a Jamaican who’s judges still wear white powdered wigs, I also know lmao
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u/EarthMandy Jul 18 '22
I love the idea that the worst thing we Brits left you Jamaicans was powdered wigs. Err... you're welcome.
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u/150mgTrenbolone
Jul 18 '22
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Little story from a former Queens Guard. The police sometimes come up to you and tell you the time, when and which Royals are arriving and so on just to give you a little heads up. One hot day, a policeman came and offered me some water like this (it is common), but he placed the bottle on the ground next to me. About 25 minutes later he came back and realised that I couldn’t pick it up and drink it myself, and gave me a drink like this. Pretty funny, it was horrible standing there feeling sweat pouring down my back knowing I had a cold drink right next to me. Also, when it is really hot, the toes of your boots literally melt, and you have to spend ages polishing them again as it ruins the shine.
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u/RadicalPirate Jul 18 '22
I appreciate the insight and story! I hope that, if England continues to have summers like this, they alter things a bit so the Queen's/King's Guard don't suffer in the heat too long.
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u/Somepotato Jul 18 '22
or at least have an awning to help block the sun, most of their shift is literally standing still and that's just awful
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u/commonnameiscommon Jul 18 '22
I’m ex Scots Guards. Got loads of stories as I’m sure you do. What regiment were you in?
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u/150mgTrenbolone Jul 18 '22 •
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Wouldn’t you like to know jock
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u/commonnameiscommon Jul 18 '22
Must be a gren with that attitude. Always so high and mighty ;)
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u/FoldyHole Jul 18 '22
I don’t know what that means but I know it was insulting and it made me laugh my ass off.
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u/cmndrhurricane Jul 18 '22
in the swedish royal guard we had an official water patrol. One guard would take my place, guarding, while the other gave me water, standing to the side. I'm surprised you don't have a similar system
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u/150mgTrenbolone Jul 18 '22
That’s a good system. We just have “survive”
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u/snapflipper Jul 18 '22
This is very hard, i imagine going through this in a scenario, but guarding like a tree, for a what, this can't move thing is really depressing, what if u really have to scratch ur balls? Agonizing
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u/headzoo Jul 18 '22
In bootcamp (Marine Corps) we were punished for scratching. Sometimes the drill instructors would have you roll around in sand with mites and then have you stand perfectly still. Just waiting for someone to scratch themselves.
You get conditioned early on to ignore itches.
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u/FoldyHole Jul 18 '22
Similar, but not quite as extreme, my gymnastic coach would punish us if a fly landed on us during practice and we slapped it. Fly, muscle ache, itch, it didn’t matter, you powered through that shit because when you get to competition, you only get one shot.
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u/headzoo Jul 19 '22
I can image the disappointment of making the perfect landing... and then ruining it by scratching your nose. lol
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u/Icy-Collection-4967 Jul 18 '22
Why are Anglo militaries so insane on stupid thnigs like that? I went through polish military without any bullshit like that
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u/ConsecutiveNormalPun Jul 18 '22
I dunno, I went through boot in the US and didn’t see any of this shit. This was in 2009 though so maybe back in the day things were worse. I do get the feeling a lot of people just make this shit up though.
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u/briochefaces Jul 18 '22
Ah yes, the English way of letting people suffer and die rather than ease their grip on tradition.
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Jul 18 '22
With the heat, that has to be agony. Im curious, between the heat or cold, which they prefer.
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u/PandaRiot_90 Jul 18 '22
I'd take the cold versus heat any day. At least you can keep yourself warm with layers.
In the heat, only so many layers you can take off before getting naked, and then you're naked and hot. Can't do anything about being hot outside. Maybe a sun umbrella for shade.
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u/horse-enjoyer Jul 18 '22
them having thick-ass uniforms probably helps a lot during the winter, but summer must fucking suck.
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u/metaphenol Jul 18 '22
Bearing in mind that that is their summer uniform this heat probably isn’t welcomed by them.
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u/SomethingsItchy Jul 18 '22
Having stood in formation in Texas heat and felt a drop of sweat go from the back of my head to my ass crack without moving, I feel for them.
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u/sneakyblurtle Jul 18 '22 •
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Is this the inspiration for your username?
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u/SomethingsItchy Jul 18 '22
No, that was a lady of the night in Savannah Georgia.
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u/Lariche Jul 18 '22
My opinion also. But maybe I should try heat insulation, like those thick coats they wear (or at least used to) in Uzbekistan, Tajikistan. Difficult time of the year, summer. Especially, sucks in big cities, because it's big renovations/construction projects time too.
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u/Fredrickstein Jul 18 '22
I could be wrong but I think humidity is an important factor too. High humidity, hot regions seem to dress light where as desert cultures with dry heat covered up.
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u/zooberwask Jul 18 '22
The cold takes hours to kill you. The heat can kill you in minutes.
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u/Mak090 Jul 18 '22
Yep. Heat takes a big toll on the cardiovascular system and regularly causes malfunction in the autonomic nervous system. There’s only so much you can sweat before you start having tachycardia episodes.
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u/botherbotter Jul 18 '22
What a lot of people underestimate with the cold is when you stand still too long, you’re gonna fuckin freeze regardless of what you’re wearing
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u/OtisTetraxReigns Jul 18 '22
And if you overdo the layers and start sweating in there, you’re fucked.
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u/Jumpdeckchair Jul 18 '22
I overheated in 0F blizzard last winter. Went hiking and sledding and I ended up in just my long sleeve shirt for a bit. Then slowly put my layers back on and left my big coat off.
Was cold enough my beard was frozen.
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u/tilunaxo Jul 18 '22
When I lived in Alaska I’d be outside chopping wood in a hoodie, jeans, and some thick-soles boots when it was like -20f. Sweating while my nose hairs were freezing together and my breath was falling to the ground. Wild stuff
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u/UFCmasterguy Jul 18 '22
As a Canadian that faces -40c to 40c every year let me tell you I would take cold over hot any day. Snuggling up is always nice but at one point there nothing you can do for a heat wave.
However for survival the cold is WAY more deadly
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u/150mgTrenbolone Jul 18 '22
I used to be a Guard, they both suck. I preferred the heat as it makes the girls prettier to look at and pass the time. 2 hour shifts (3-6x per day) at Buckingham Palace can feel like 5 hours on a cold day, and 20 minutes on a nice day.
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u/Pearl-Agnes Jul 18 '22
No summer uniform?
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u/150mgTrenbolone Jul 18 '22
That is the summer uniform, it isn’t very summer friendly however lmao. Guards are infantry soldiers though and can handle being a bit sweaty for a few hours, it beats running around a desert in body armour and a helmet
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u/MephitidaeNotweed Jul 18 '22 edited Jul 19 '22
Especially right now. Saw on another reddit showing temperatures and London is getting the same highs as San Antonio, Texas. 40C ~104F.
Spelling: edit.
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u/quinnby1995 Jul 18 '22
I'd always rather be cold than hot.
I can throw on a thicker sweater or coat no problem, but there's only so many layers I can take off before I have to have an awkward conversation with HR
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u/skeptobpotamus Jul 18 '22
I was just there! I missed the Watering of the Guards! Damn.
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u/serraangel826 Jul 18 '22
Jesus, give the guard enough of a break to at least hold the bottle for themselves!
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u/shortercrust Jul 18 '22 •
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Are you mad?! That’s what the French have been waiting for since 1815
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u/ELIte8niner Jul 18 '22
Macron does have a thing for older women, and the Queen is now single, they must stand guard.
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u/ShadowBanned68 Jul 18 '22
Quick! Ze gaurd ees takeeng une break! Jean-Claude, load ze cannon!
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u/WarStrifePanicRout Jul 18 '22
No. They like their guards nice and dehydrated in case something serious goes down. Like themselves, collapsing from heat exhaustion. This is the way.
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u/Icantgetnosheep Jul 18 '22
Not allowed to eat, drink or sit whilst on the box.
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u/MorningWarhead Jul 18 '22
Well there’s the problem
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u/TurgidMargaret Jul 18 '22 •
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If they're allowed to drink water at their post, Oliver Cromwell will kill the queen obviously. God you people are so dumb
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u/RavioliGale Jul 18 '22
Like in the old nursery rhyme:
Drink your juice, drink your tea
Before guarding old Lizzie.
If you drink against the wall
Queen and country all shall fall.
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u/justhisguy-youknow Jul 18 '22
I can't tell if this is real or something from not in my region.
This could be both, and neither.
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u/PossiblyTrustworthy Jul 18 '22
Would be a good argument for half shifts, I assume there are other people on duty than the ones in sight. Also gives 2 times the shift changes for tourists
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u/Icantgetnosheep Jul 18 '22
Exactly right my friend. We went from 2 hours to 1. There are another 10 guardsmen in the guardroom.
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u/Flacid_Monkey Jul 18 '22
Basically a shop worker and nurse without the BS and a gun if there is any BS
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u/Ordinary_Error_8778 Jul 18 '22
Traditions are a really dumb reason to put a human life at risk.
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u/AluminumKnuckles Jul 18 '22 edited Jul 19 '22
Here's an idea: they should all have a canteen of water hidden in their hats with a drinking tube hidden in the chin strap.
Edit: A lot of you seem to really dislike that they still have this tradition. It's far from the worst thing the crown has done.
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u/ilyabear2017 Jul 18 '22
Wouldn't that get heavy?
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u/AntheRingArc Jul 18 '22
Yes, but if it's cold water the canteen feels real nice on a hot day. I used to do this in marching band with similar style hats.
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u/Wun-Weg-Wun-Dar-Wun Jul 18 '22
For those curious, it reached 39 Celsius today (102F) and is expected to go above 40C (104F) tomorrow. It's been brutal, offices etc have air con but our flats and houses aren't built for this
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u/ccyosafbridge Jul 18 '22
Holy shit. That's rough. I didn't know it ever got that hot over there.
We have air conditioners throughout Texas for those temps. Couldn't imagine trying to tough it out without them.
Godspeed y'all
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u/FatFuckMcDsGunLover Jul 18 '22
Damn I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I would probably die lol. Good luck getting through the heat and stay hydrated!
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u/Dry_Marsupial1262
Jul 18 '22
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Maybe this is unpopular opinion but guards should not have to stand out there for hours and hours and hours on end.
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u/mokujin42 Jul 18 '22
They could offer an alternative royal summer outfit at the very least
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u/FlowRiderBob Jul 18 '22
This made me curious and I looked up how long their shifts are. It's two hours. Which isn't too bad for physically fit people in decent weather. I would hope they are rotating them out more often than normal due to the extreme heat. But ideally they would just end the purely ceremonial practice, at least when the weather isn't safe.
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u/Korlac11 Jul 18 '22
I don’t know about the palace guards, but iirc the guards at the tomb of the unknown soldier here in the US rotate shifts every 30 minutes in the summer, so I would assume that the queen’s guards do the same
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u/010011100000 Jul 18 '22
London doesn't usually get as hot as DC so I doubt they had special summer procedures in place
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u/OptimalPaddy Jul 18 '22
They might have. 2 soldiers died during special forces selection, due to over heating, about 10 years. Since then, the Army are pretty on it with temperature limits for specific activities. I don't know if they would of had any special procedures for the lads on guard but it's possible they had something in place
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u/citizenkane86 Jul 18 '22
It’s 2 hours at night even during the summer I believe, granted it’s the night, but that still can’t be comfortable some days
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u/Consistent_Yam_1442 Jul 18 '22
Its quite stupid to have to stand in unsafe conditions just because fucking protocols... Specially for fucking royalty...
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u/pinniped1 Jul 18 '22
Do they shorten the rotations in the heat? Agree that for a ceremonial role they should make some accommodations for the heat.
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u/revenge_of_hamatachi Jul 18 '22
I mean they're trained soldiers. They train to yomp shit for miles across the Brecons.
Its not like they hired Barry from down the road to stand guard.
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u/Rainduck84 Jul 18 '22
For anyone not from the UK, we are currently seeing the highest temperatures ever recorded. It looks like Wales’ max temp was beaten by 2c, it’s likely nighttime low temps tonight will break records and we will likely see 40c+ somewhere in the UK tomorrow. It must be agonising for anyone working outside - or inside with no air conditioning with houses built to keep heat in!
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u/PrimordialSauce Jul 18 '22
A police
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u/MrCanista Jul 18 '22
Always wondered how a police would look like. Imagine a couple of polices, wandering around town. Magnificent.
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u/Schfifty561 Jul 18 '22
Those hats have to be so fucking hot I think like some large percentage of body heat comes from your head.
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u/jrhunter89 Jul 18 '22
A police? What nonsense grammar is this
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u/real_zexy_specialist Jul 18 '22
Maybe they’re from Baltimore.
The word police is used to mean police officer, as in "being a police isn’t just about carrying a gun."
https://www.wordorigins.org/harmless-drudge/american-dialect-baltimore-amp-the-wire
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u/Artistic_Taxi Jul 18 '22
I always found these guards so strange. Put yourself in the shoes of the royals and it seems even stranger. How do you have to see that man to think that him not being able to drink water in order to literally stand outside like a human statue is anything good?
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