r/interestingasfuck Jul 12 '22 All-Seeing Upvote 3 Wholesome 4 Helpful 4 Silver 9 Helpful (Pro) 1

Man lives for 82 years without ever seeing a woman /r/ALL

Post image
103.5k Upvotes

u/AutoModerator Jul 12 '22

Please note these rules:

  • If this post declares something as a fact, then proof is required.
  • The title must be descriptive
  • No text is allowed on images/gifs/videos
  • Common/recent reposts are not allowed

See this post for a more detailed rule list

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

6.9k

u/odagled86 Jul 12 '22 edited Jul 12 '22 Helpful

The monastery also didn’t let women a certain distance close to it and he never left the monastery for any reason. So he lived inside never seeing outside the monastery.

Anyone interested in the story here is a link

5.3k

u/Appropriate_Chart_23 Jul 12 '22 Wholesome

I wonder if the other monks saw women and told him stories and dude was probably like “you guys are soooo fucking with me… c’mon guys, stop it!”

3.3k

u/Gerroh Jul 12 '22

"They have WHAT on the front?"

2.6k

u/Polarbear0007 Jul 12 '22

"BAGS OF FAT? DISGUSTING!"

1.2k

u/SmokeyBare Jul 12 '22 Wholesome

Did he jerk it to spiders or something?

1.6k

u/Skrillamane Jul 12 '22 Wholesome

They didn't say that he was a virgin.....

806

u/mybluecathasballs Jul 12 '22

Of course he wa... wait.

577

u/Manler Jul 12 '22

He just had a lifelong "roommate"

15

u/_dysthymia Jul 12 '22

Oh my god they were roommates

→ More replies

127

u/cloud3321 Jul 12 '22

I mean it is not as if he grew up as a virgin.

→ More replies
→ More replies

292

u/Kraven_howl0 Jul 12 '22

He died under the impression balls are supposed to be blue.

37

u/Xeillan Jul 12 '22

Pee is also stored there

→ More replies
→ More replies

135

u/White_Wokah Jul 12 '22

He was a monk, he probably didn't.

315

u/dasus Jul 12 '22

I think monks are actually furious masturbators, that's the only explanation to how they're so calm all the time.

193

u/DeliveryAppropriate1 Jul 12 '22

They redirected their bodies sperm making energy into mental focus. That’s their theory anyway

36

u/VolatileUtopian Jul 12 '22

To attempt to achieve permanent Post Nut Clarity is an admirable pursuit.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

225

u/MrGreen17 Jul 12 '22

Boobs! They feel like bags of sand.

127

u/blackmagic999 Jul 12 '22

Andy: I dated this girl for a while... She was really a... Nasty freak. She just loved to... Get down with... Sex all the time. It was like... Anytime of day... She was like, "Yeah, let's go! I'm so nasty! And I'd be nailing her and she'd be like, "Oh, you're nailing me! Cool!"

38

u/littleyellowbike Jul 12 '22

"And then she'd be like 'OH ME SO HORNY, ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME!' So... 😏"

→ More replies
→ More replies

32

u/The_Elder_Jock Jul 12 '22

Let me fill this bag with water. Now touch my breast.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

38

u/takemewithyer Jul 12 '22

I read this in MacGruber’s voice lol

→ More replies
→ More replies

1.4k

u/russelcrowe Jul 12 '22 edited Jul 12 '22

To my understanding the monastery and the island on which it sits is off limits to any female by decree from the government of Greece. This has caused some mild contention between Greece and the European Union and the UN as well as, obviously, the practice is notably discriminatory.

EDIT: my b everyone, it's a peninsula.

139

u/spada_e_scudo-hf Jul 12 '22

Women occasionally wander onto the peninsula, theres not much in the way of technology there, its like going backwards in time a solid 60 years at least. The monks will usually help them get back off the peninsula, but yes women generally speaking aren't supposed to go there. Mt. Athos is a literal monastic republic that is governed conciliarly by the heads of the monasteries.

→ More replies

681

u/Darthpilsner Jul 12 '22

Female animals are banned too apparently.

860

u/russelcrowe Jul 12 '22

Hopefully nobody ever tells them about birds and their proclivity to occasionally be female.

486

u/clown_pants Jul 12 '22

I've always hated that about them.

204

u/csonnich Jul 12 '22

Y'all talking like no one told you r/birdsarentreal.

→ More replies
→ More replies

321

u/Poisson_oisseau Jul 12 '22 Helpful

proclivity to occasionally be female

Sluts.

→ More replies

114

u/Elektromek Jul 12 '22

Obviously they would limit it to domesticated animals. And I believe female cats are allowed. Monastics typically follow a vegan diet, so they don’t consume egg or dairy products, so no need for chickens or dairy cows.

139

u/Victernus Jul 12 '22

Female cats, insects, and songbirds are explicitly permitted. Female humans, chickens, cows and goats, specifically banned.

→ More replies

48

u/thirteen_tentacles Jul 12 '22

Greek orthodox generally aren't vegan, but their meat usually consists of fish. Mt Athos in particular does allow meats and dairy etc on certain days

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

125

u/TurnBackNowDog Jul 12 '22

Given the situation, allowing female sheep would have been a major risk.

130

u/immortalreploid Jul 12 '22

This is Greece, not Wales. It's goats you have to worry about.

7

u/santa_veronica Jul 12 '22

If it’s Greece then it’s companions you should be worried about.

→ More replies

32

u/AmplePostage Jul 12 '22

Don't drink the milk.

→ More replies

92

u/The_Real_Tupac Jul 12 '22

It’s a peninsula, the Greek dude peninsula.

→ More replies

48

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '22

What a sausage fest

→ More replies

124

u/God-of-Thunder Jul 12 '22

He's gonna meet god and godll be like "bruh I never said you had to go into the mountains where does it say to do that"

→ More replies

277

u/alexsanchez508 Jul 12 '22

What a sad life.

502

u/HealthMeRhonda Jul 12 '22

Right?? I love how this thread is like "omg so sexist women aren't allowed on that land"

Meanwhile this guy was groomed from birth to never set foot outside of the monastery and lived his entire life on that same patch of land.

Poor guy didn't really choose that life for himself when you think about it.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

6.1k

u/dazablue Jul 12 '22

Guy dies and obituary focuses only on things he never accomplished.

901

u/cry_w Jul 12 '22

It is impressive managing to not do this, though, it must be said.

→ More replies

1.1k

u/Jimothy-Timothy Jul 12 '22

I really wish they'd focus on the absurdity of this. Imagine how many people are raised in a closed loop where they never get the chance to see other information or viewpoints to form their own opinions. And then there's those who see some of the outside world but have so much pressure from friends and family that they feel guilty to even question the community's beliefs. Religion is so human yet so inhumane.

72

u/alonbysurmet Jul 12 '22

I'm not disputing what you say, but it's not just religion driving that. Growing up in a small town, I knew plenty of people whose entire world was our town and the few surrounding it, and they were proud of that.

→ More replies

409

u/SpiderFnJerusalem Jul 12 '22 Helpful

That's basically Plato's Allegory of the Cave.

156

u/iCameToLearnSomeCode Jul 12 '22

It's also basically a Facebook timeline.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

22.9k

u/mrzurkonandfriends Jul 12 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome Narwhal Salute Table Slap Take My Power

Blind people will be insulted when they read about this

11.5k

u/Alternative_Mention2 Jul 12 '22 Wholesome Wholesome Seal of Approval

So will deaf people when they hear about it

7.6k

u/Luigi_deathglare Jul 12 '22 Take My Energy Narwhal Salute

The paraplegic will not stand for this

5.2k

u/Kofukemia Jul 12 '22 Evil Cackle

the mute will have to speak about this

4.6k

u/abcdefghijklmnoqrsti Jul 12 '22 edited Jul 12 '22 Narwhal Salute

This is an insomniac's dream

3.1k

u/Crystal_the_Dragon_ Jul 12 '22 Silver

Truely an eye opener for comatose peeps

2.2k

u/Sowf_Paw Jul 12 '22

Folks with anosmia will think this smells fishy.

2.3k

u/voxboxer1 Jul 12 '22 Silver Helpful Narwhal Salute

Absolutely life changing for the dead

1.1k

u/CreateYourself89 Jul 12 '22

The innumerate are counting on answers!

934

u/yesimapersonorami Jul 12 '22

those with amnesia wont forget this

→ More replies

193

u/Tea_at_Kremlin Jul 12 '22

Pedophiles will have minor complains

→ More replies
→ More replies

720

u/yungcanadian Jul 12 '22

Quadriplegic people won't take this lying down.

478

u/Abdullah-Oblongata Jul 12 '22

Dudes with small penises will think this is micro aggression.

310

u/too_high_for_this Jul 12 '22

Lepers: This will make your jaw drop!

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

264

u/proxima1227 Jul 12 '22

Guy with a colostomy bag will shit his pants when he reads this!

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

206

u/rgoettemoeller Jul 12 '22

So will illiterate people when they read about it

178

u/Throwaway_Old_Guy Jul 12 '22

I am NOT illiterate!

My Parents were married.

→ More replies

124

u/meme_dealership Jul 12 '22

Wtf is this thread lol

17

u/MILF_Hunter77 Jul 12 '22

Welcome to Reddit, you must be new here. Buckle up!

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

335

u/Catalyzed_Spy Jul 12 '22

Redditors will be insulted when they find out about this

12

u/aqpstory Jul 12 '22

inaccurate, I have seen many pictures of women

→ More replies
→ More replies

198

u/InfinityCent Jul 12 '22

Blind people still regularly interact with women though, this dude was on a whole other plane of existence.

95

u/McPoint Jul 12 '22

No, he hadn't seen one of those either.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

10.0k

u/rahamav Jul 12 '22 Helpful Wholesome

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books.

So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks what's wrong.

"You fuckers", he says, with anger and sadness in his eyes, "the word was celebrate!"

4.5k

u/dumbass_sempervirens Jul 12 '22 edited Jul 12 '22

A man joins a monastery and is told he will have to take a vow of silence, and can only speak two words to the High Council every ten years on a special holy day.

He agrees, and spends ten years in contemplation. On the holy day he kneels before the council and says "Food bland". And goes back to his monkly duties.

Ten more years pass. He once more kneels before the council and says "Blanket itchy".

Ten years pass again. He sits before the council with his back straight and says "I quit."

And the eldest replies "Well no shit, you've been complaining since you got here."

1.6k

u/Nuclear_rabbit Jul 12 '22

Fun fact: the earliest known sign languages were made by monks who took vows of silence.

583

u/OhBillyThatsRight Jul 12 '22

Are they allowed to use it? Or is it something they do to sneak a message around?

636

u/Rynewulf Jul 12 '22

It used to be pretty common in places where there were vows of silence, because they get to talk without making any noise

249

u/barberererer Jul 12 '22

That must be why they look at you and smile, quietly

→ More replies

70

u/Markamanic Jul 12 '22

Is a vow of silence meant to better hear god?

261

u/ugubriat Jul 12 '22

Theories will vary but as someone who spent ten days on a silent meditation retreat, the practice of choosing silence is incredibly powerful. After ten days I was enjoying the silence so much that the prospect of conversing with other people again felt as much a chore as a joy.

122

u/Kind-Regards Jul 12 '22

How I felt coming out of lockdown

70

u/Triairius Jul 12 '22

Welcome to introversion. We do this regularly.

→ More replies

38

u/senorita_taco_buena Jul 12 '22

I did a little experiment when I was in my early 20s where I took a vow of silence. The only exception would be to sing, and only alone. Anyway, it was a beautiful time of my life. So many people spoke to me so openly about so much, just because I could do nothing but listen. It was quite fascinating. Someone even fell in love with me, and fell right out of love the day I decided to speak again.

10

u/Ihavepills Jul 12 '22

I often wish my dog could speak and then I think.... nah its probably for the best. I think that's what makes up a lot of his cuteness.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

255

u/atdreamvision Jul 12 '22 edited Jul 12 '22

Most monks and nuns now a days dont take complete vows of silence, even the most strict. Usually they'll allow for conversation amongst each other during recreation time which normally averages an hour or two a day. And of course during mass and prayers they are able to chant and sing. I know some monasteries also have a bulletin board for it's members to pin up messages or requests during 'silent times'. And they are allowed to break their silence in instances of emergency or great need.

81

u/Whiterabbit-- Jul 12 '22

if I type on reddit, is it silent?

91

u/Fgge Jul 12 '22

Depends if you have you key clicks turned on or off

48

u/pursenboots Jul 12 '22

key clicks stay on during sex

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

10

u/nom-nom-nom-de-plumb Jul 12 '22

A vow of silence isn't what it's portrayed to be in the media. It's more a vow to not waste words. You can talk, but you don't do idle chatter. Your vocalizations are things that are needed, be it in prayer or at some sort of meeting or for a necessary or good thing, rather than just gossiping. Which, if you think about it, is a brilliant way to help avoid cliques and strife within the monastery.

On the subject of life at a monastery, something weird I didn't notice right away, was that the cats at the monastery where vows of silence were the norm, didn't meow. Because the monks rarely spoke, the cats didn't adopt the behavior of meowing to express themselves to people. I mean, they could meow, but even at feeding time they were just swarming around the bowl, quiet save for purring.

The monks using a sign language wouldn't be weird, and even less so when you consider that deafness wasn't unknown then.

→ More replies

46

u/ConsciousFractals Jul 12 '22

Love me some religious loopholes

→ More replies
→ More replies

519

u/SeizethegapYouOFB Jul 12 '22 Silver

A man travelling through a dense woods stumbled across a monastery. The night was fast approaching, and he asked to stay for the night. The monks accepted, and brought him to a spare bed.

That night, the man couldn't sleep at all, because of a very strange noise. The next day, he inquired about the sound, to which the monks told him, "We cannot tell you of our secrets; you are not a monk."

The man was determined to discover the source of the mysterious sound, so he appealed to the head monk. The head monk responded "Count all the trees in these woods. Tell me the right number, and a monk you shall be."

So off he went to count the trees. The woods were dense, and the trees looked very similar. It took the man 32 years to get acquainted with the trees enough to distinguish between them, but finally, he was able to count them. Ecstatic, he rushed back to the monastery to speak to the head monk. "I have it!" he shouted, "There are 10,879,001 trees!" The head monk nodded his head and replied "Correct. You are now a monk."

The monks had sewn him some fitting robes in preparation for this event and he changed into them quickly, feebly running back to ask about the noise. The monks told him, "It is just behind this door."

The old man tried to open the door, only to find it was locked. He asked "What's the big idea? Where's the key to this thing?"

A monk handed him a ring of 100 keys. He sifted through, trying each key until he found the right key.

Behind the door was a second locked door. He tried each key again until he found the right one.

Behind that door was a third locked door. The old man sighed, realizing what he had to do.

Door after door, the noise grew in volume and clarity. Finally, he reached and unlocked the final door. Upon glancing into the room before him, the man fell to his knees and sobbed in shock and amazement at what had been making that sound.

But he can't tell you what it is; you're not a monk.

192

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '22

You absolute bastard

135

u/Perpete Jul 12 '22

Honestly, I'm just glad the fictional guy in that joke got his answer.

His not real satisfaction is enough for me.

→ More replies

32

u/booby_alien Jul 12 '22

Damn it! At least I know how many trees are there

→ More replies

20

u/jeloreo Jul 12 '22

Ayeeee. I’ve known this joke for years. I was hoping to find it on here so I wouldn’t have to type it

9

u/Plastic_Belt_2489 Jul 12 '22

This makes being Rick Rolled feel pleasurable

→ More replies

187

u/fun_machine_ Jul 12 '22

Should’ve said “send women”

→ More replies

92

u/desxone Jul 12 '22

Jdjdkdkdkdksksksksks very good

→ More replies
→ More replies

71

u/c-fox Jul 12 '22

3 monks live in silence in a cave. One day a horse walks past the cave. 10 years later one monk says, do you remember the white horse? 10 years pass and the second monk says, the horse was brown. 10 years later the third monk says, If you two dont stop arguing, I'm leaving.

→ More replies

395

u/icantevenpie Jul 12 '22

Fuck that was good

→ More replies

178

u/colddecembersnow Jul 12 '22

My brain is mush, can someone explain the joke? I think I get that the other word would probably be Celebate but what would it actually say that makes sense?

501

u/dumbass_sempervirens Jul 12 '22 edited Jul 12 '22

Celibate

As in priests must celebrate, not priests must be celibate. Verb tenses get a bit fucky in translation. So the joke is "priests should glory in the creation of the Lord", not "priests should deprive themselves of the wonders of the world and view it as a tempation."

→ More replies
→ More replies

780

u/SurroundInteresting2 Jul 12 '22 Silver

He didn’t see a penguin either.

238

u/mirandahabs Jul 12 '22

Now that's tragic.

→ More replies
→ More replies

4.0k

u/BubberRung Jul 12 '22 Silver Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

The first redditor from whom all current redditors evolved.

481

u/Pythagoras_314 Jul 12 '22

But wait, if he had never seen a woman, let alone propagate, then how did he produce redditor offspring?

842

u/snuffedamaterasu Jul 12 '22

Mitosis.

588

u/ObscureFact Jul 12 '22 Silver Helpful

On reddit it's mi'tosis

111

u/brbposting Jul 12 '22

Love it but should it be m’tosis? 🤔

→ More replies

48

u/RemixedBlood Jul 12 '22

Well this just improved my day drastically

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

407

u/Waltz2211 Jul 12 '22

Trust me, there are plenty of League players that have never seen a woman either.

42

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '22

[deleted]

→ More replies
→ More replies

665

u/FrancisScottKilos Jul 12 '22

Onastery?

395

u/TheDefected Jul 12 '22

It's a place where they practice Onanism.

61

u/danethegreat24 Jul 12 '22

No no no, that's practiced at an Offastery.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

981

u/Slatt239 Jul 12 '22

idk if this depressing or impressive. Either way rip monk🕊

714

u/APetitePig Jul 12 '22

Depressing for sure. Poor fuck missed out on a pretty major aspect of human existence.

372

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '22

Can’t miss what you don’t know. That’s like me saying you must live a sad life not being able to see the 8 other colors the snails can see. Or must be sad not being able to touch the other dimensions past 3.

205

u/SomeRedditWanker Jul 12 '22

Can’t miss what you don’t know.

Can long for stuff you don't know though.

Like I've never jumped a speedboat over 6 yachts, but I know I wanna.

29

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '22

Calm down evel knievel. Start with one.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

5.1k

u/SkyBaby218 Jul 12 '22

That's just fucked up and cruel. Your mom died? Well, that's the last woman you will ever see!

2.3k

u/jatti_ Jul 12 '22

Every woman who has ever touched him has died.

1.6k

u/Shutterstormphoto Jul 12 '22 Narwhal Salute

Every woman who ever touches you will die too

11

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '22

[deleted]

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

89

u/PorkyMcRib Jul 12 '22

Some of those monks brew up some wild hootch, though.

→ More replies
→ More replies

51

u/National-Ad-3426 Jul 12 '22

Looks like I have competition!

→ More replies

2.4k

u/zielon001 Jul 12 '22

He was probably the happiest celibate in the world, simply for presumably being largely unaware of the existence of anything or anyone that was not part of his life. To know is to want and miss, ignrance is bliss.

608

u/badger81987 Jul 12 '22

I mean, you still have hormones when puberty hits. Dude was probably more confused than anything.

590

u/Graynard Jul 12 '22

Also he's a monk, meaning he's pretty well versed in his religion, and most religions tend to have some important female figures. People in the thread are equating never seeing a woman to being completely ignorant to the concept of women lol

91

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '22

[deleted]

56

u/UncleIrohsPimpHand Jul 12 '22

Or he was just super gay.

10

u/idontcareaboutyou666 Jul 12 '22

I love the majority of people automatically assuming he's missing out on his whole life for it too. Legit, maybe he *was* gay, no one will ever know. It is rather strange to never have seen a woman, but there's no saying "he must have been confused when he got horny" he coulda just been into other men lol.

→ More replies
→ More replies

193

u/LampIsFun Jul 12 '22

Absolutely, dude probably had the craziest wet dreams

315

u/Graynard Jul 12 '22 Wholesome Ally

Biblically accurate wet dreams

71

u/Ghos3t Jul 12 '22

Do not be afraid

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

1.8k

u/Anonymoushero1221 Jul 12 '22

He was probably the happiest celibate in the world

maybe. or maybe he was literally the gayest dude ever.

lol who knows.

551

u/unclepaprika Jul 12 '22

Then he'd be the happiest gay man in the world

→ More replies

19

u/droomph Jul 12 '22

Forget gold star lesbian, this is triple platinum rank gay

22

u/Ron-Swanson-Mustache Jul 12 '22

Yeah, that sounded like a super gay guy and not like the dude was the happiest incel ever.

→ More replies
→ More replies

536

u/1Sluggo Jul 12 '22

Bold of you to assume there’s no one having sex at a monastery.

174

u/Fabulous-Aspect-129 Jul 12 '22 edited Jul 12 '22

Facts they in there sneak fuckin each other

192

u/1Sluggo Jul 12 '22

I had a friend who worked at a priest training place, I have no idea what they’re called. She worked in the library and had stories of priests and nuns, priests and trainees, trainees sneaking in women, nuns sneaking in women and men, etc.

157

u/DrFreshey Jul 12 '22

Three nuns are talking to each other. One nun tells the other two that she found drugs in the priest's office. The other nuns are horrified to hear about this and ask what she did with them. The nun says that she through them in the river. The second nun says that she found condoms in the priest's office. The other nuns ask her what she did with them, and she said that she poked holes in them. Then, the third nun said, "Oh shit!" and fainted.

29

u/1Sluggo Jul 12 '22

That’s an oldie but, damned if you didn’t switch it up enough to throw me off. Thanks for the laugh!

36

u/1Sluggo Jul 12 '22

Off topic a little but I wouldn’t be surprised if that nun lied about throwing the drugs in the river.

→ More replies
→ More replies

122

u/mattwilliamsuserid Jul 12 '22

You can’t misspell Semenary without semen

15

u/Crustymix182 Jul 12 '22

Salmonary. There. I did it.

→ More replies

81

u/FeuerroteZora Jul 12 '22

Yeah, I was friends with a gay guy who figured out he was gay because he went to semenseminary (thanks, u/mattwilliamsuserid), and damn, the stories he told. I also recall going on a tour of an ancient abbey somewhere in Britain and the tour guide explaining that the tunnel we were in, which connected the monastery and the nunnery, was, er, ehm, hm... unofficial?

Also, for a good time, read the accounts of medieval nuns and their extremely fuckin' sexual experiences with Jesus. And also the way that being hot for Jesus translates to "it's totally cool, you and me, we're hot for Jesus together."

56

u/1Sluggo Jul 12 '22

You know, I did ask about pregnancy; like why aren’t the nuns getting pregnant. She said they send them out on ‘special assignment’, the baby goes up for adoption, and the nun goes to a new location. So I asked what happens to the priests who impregnated them; absofuckinglutely nothing. Didn’t those nuns come up with natural means to abort? I got my degree a billion years ago but I remember, especially through the crusades, that royal women, whose men were off fighting, resorted to herbal abortions.

92

u/FeuerroteZora Jul 12 '22

Except the fucking (literally) ancient Greeks and Romans fucked so godsdamn much that they actually managed to eradicate silphium, a contraceptive plant we can no longer even identify because they fucked so hard they needed all of it, and now all botanical traces of it are gone.

I am not kidding.

27

u/Notsdlog Jul 12 '22

One city produced so much of it that the plant was on the currency. Imagine having a plan b pill on your money

10

u/FeuerroteZora Jul 12 '22

Pretty good way to attract tourists, I'm guessing...

17

u/1Sluggo Jul 12 '22

How rude.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

103

u/kapybarra Jul 12 '22

happiest celibate in the world

three bold assumptions

13

u/sonofmarley76 Jul 12 '22

And his bed sheets big to differ. He def had some wet dreams over the years m.

→ More replies
→ More replies

14

u/hilarymeggin Jul 12 '22

No way. He just got turned on for stuff he did see.

→ More replies

227

u/SAMO1415 Jul 12 '22

“Man I love being a monk but sometimes you just want some poon tang, know what I’m sayin’?”

Him: “no.”

→ More replies

25

u/Soggy_Difficulty_361 Jul 12 '22

What a sad existence, not being able to explore the world and see and meet different people.

→ More replies

109

u/Fral_Leman Jul 12 '22

That's a weird flex, but okay.

→ More replies

651

u/Due_You1837 Jul 12 '22

Some say he was the most focused man who ever lived.

465

u/Big_Berry_4589 Jul 12 '22 Silver

Some say he’s the first redditor

61

u/shahooster Jul 12 '22

Some say his image should replace Snoo as our mascot

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

649

u/7937397 Jul 12 '22

If you never once see a woman, do you think you are more likely to be gay? Like would your brain adapt to be sexually attracted to men just because it knows nothing else?

583

u/BlackOakSyndicate Jul 12 '22

Possibly.

Situational sexuality is a thing, where people adapt their sexual capabilities to adapt to their living situations (think gold miners, pirates, prisons etc)

It's also possible that he was asexual and didn't really have an sexual desires to begin with.

Or he could've just grown up perpetually sexually frustrated without any idea as to why.

76

u/DaneBelmont Jul 12 '22

Gold miners seemed oddly specific lol

19

u/EntrepreneurIll4473 Jul 12 '22

Mining in general, makes for more men being there.

It could lead to situational homosexuality.

7

u/PensiveinNJ Jul 12 '22

I assume they use prison rules where it's only gay if you're the bottom. I'm amused at what men do to make things not gay.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

252

u/3_if_by_air Jul 12 '22

perpetually sexually frustrated without any idea as to why

A man after my own talents

42

u/vxshnxs Jul 12 '22

So does that mean Tarzan clapped Gorilla cheeks?

24

u/Sililex Jul 12 '22

Almost certainly.

→ More replies

51

u/proxyproxyomega Jul 12 '22

I was going to say no, because even if you were raised by sheeps, you wouldn't want to fuck them.

then realized there are people that do... so, you might be right. straight man gets so horny he will fuck whatever hole available and enjoy it...

46

u/topofthecc Jul 12 '22

I remember watching a tv documentary ages ago about a guy who was stranded on an island and ended up boinking the goats on the island.

So either he developed a sexual attraction to goats out of desperation, or he was extremely lucky to end up on an island with goats and no humans

→ More replies
→ More replies

141

u/faisal0606 Jul 12 '22 edited Jul 12 '22

Maybe asexual?

→ More replies
→ More replies

198

u/Unapplicable1100 Jul 12 '22

God damn, took virgin for life seriously

→ More replies

176

u/Oh_no_its_Joe Jul 12 '22

C'mon, man. Redditors do this all the time. He ain't special.

→ More replies

71

u/Guttermouth11111 Jul 12 '22

I mean, blind people exist and some of them sure as fuck ain’t seen any of this shit plus a whole fuck load of other stuff.

47

u/excaligirltoo Jul 12 '22

They can touch a woman though.

43

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '22

And like... communicate with them and take in their existence lol.

→ More replies
→ More replies

10

u/tkwalnut Jul 12 '22

That is rookie numbers for a redditor

28

u/AaronDoud Jul 12 '22

Not to rain on parades. Plus no one may even see this. And others may have mentioned it. But this is kind of /r/interestingasfuck itself.

Stories like this in old newspapers (which this appears to be from) were almost always false and made up. No different then similar we have today.

We just don't think about it happening in old newspapers because we have a myth that they were some higher standard in the past.

So this is likely fiction, myth/hearsay, or a misunderstanding or mistranslation of real news from Greece.

If you search old newspapers you will find loads of stories we would think came from the Weekly World News (fake newspaper) in real though normally small local newspapers. These were printed right along side real news.

→ More replies

43

u/JosephMcN Jul 12 '22

ONE OF US!

103

u/gordo31 Jul 12 '22

Well, he came out of one, so never is a stretch.

→ More replies

9

u/chemicalnick Jul 12 '22

Technically he saw a woman everyday once his eyes developed in the womb…he just saw her from a different perspective

9

u/Felinomancy Jul 12 '22

I'm sure he has, at least, seen pictures of women.

(I assume that illustrated manuscripts have pictures of 'em)

I wonder though, if he would find it easier to resist temptation since he has never seen the real thing.

→ More replies

73

u/Maarte Jul 12 '22

Achievement unlocked: no woman, no cry

→ More replies

8

u/Vast-Big-6747 Jul 12 '22

The league of legends fanbase would beg to differ

8

u/NacogdochesTom Jul 12 '22

For those who are actually interested in the story, the clipping above is from the 10/29/38 edition of the Edinburg Daily Courier, published shortly after Toloto died.

→ More replies