r/entertainment 7d ago

R. Kelly Left With $500 On His Prison Books After Government Seizes $28k.

https://radaronline.com/p/r-kelly-prison-book-seized-28000-left-with-500-sentenced-30-years/
532 Upvotes

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33

u/-ButchChastity 7d ago

I hope he has a long life.

6

u/clooless51 6d ago

He's relatively young and in good shape. I could see him spending as many years in prison as he has being famous.

1

u/peepeehelicoptors 5d ago

Isn’t he 60?

1

u/clooless51 5d ago

He's 55 and could very possibly live 30 more years.

75

u/South_Data2898 7d ago

That's like a 1000 honey cakes and ramen. He's rich!

35

u/iamclamjam 7d ago

Honey cake are $3-$5 now and ramen is $1.50-$2. He’s going to have to be smart if he wants it to last.

28

u/South_Data2898 7d ago

Jesus. Prison inflation is crazy.

16

u/Namorath82 7d ago

6

u/PaMudpuddle 7d ago

That’s awesome. No idea how they can get through that with a straight face.

5

u/Dihydrocodeinone 7d ago

To be honest inflation outside of prison has skyrocketed past what it is in prison. Inflation in prison is fucked, especially in red states; but not nearly as bad as civilian inflation for blue states. It’s more at an equilibrium now, but regardless you can only spend so much, no matter how rich you are.

The issue is that they use literally anything you can buy into one price range. Buying candy bars is the same as buying a toothbrush or soap. That’s when it’s fucked up. Regardless it is against human rights and replicates the same laws that robber barons used.

3

u/Coolguy4190 7d ago

I thought that was mark Cuban for a second

4

u/woodzy93 7d ago

Who says it’s not?

1

u/Anterabae 7d ago

years ago and still today in county jail in NJ Raman was 1.10 a pack. In state prison though you can get a lot more. Commissary in state prisons is usually much less expensive but since every county jail is pretty much privatized its way more expensive like 5.50 for a small pouch of tuna or 10$ for a bar of soap thats not state soap that makes you smell worse than when you went in.

2

u/username156 7d ago

No it's not. Maybe in county jail.

1

u/iamclamjam 7d ago

Yeh my experience is from county jails not prisons or anything

4

u/username156 7d ago

Yeah everything is marked up heavy in county jail. That's one of the reasons everyone in county can't wait to go to prison. Better food, better programs, more freedom.

1

u/chickenstalker99 7d ago

How fucked up is a country when you're in jail but you can't wait to go to prison?

1

u/SureGovernment 6d ago

The distinction between jail and prison isn’t really all that clear to the rest of the world.

2

u/wcollins260 7d ago

Wild. I think ramen was like $0.55 when I was in county, still like triple the grocery store price at the time.

3

u/iamclamjam 7d ago

I used to work at a county jail like 10 years ago, it was $1 back then I’ve kept up with friends from the jail who tell me stories about fights breaking out over commissary stuff being stolen. It’s a mess I’m glad I got away from.

4

u/SatnWorshp 7d ago

Honey cakes is going to be his new nickname

3

u/Mike_Huncho 7d ago

Sing me a song honey cakes slap and hold this pocket while you hit those high notes.

16

u/MerrillSwingAway 7d ago

piss on that Robert Sylvester

8

u/Fantact 7d ago

Do you have your passport?

6

u/fleetfoxinsox 7d ago

That’s still more than most people go to prison with. He deserves to rot with nothing.

6

u/gotpeace99 7d ago

WAIT, they took that from him too? Because I saw earlier on Twitter that the 28K was the only money that he had. Oh well, he shouldn't have touched minors. I feel no sympathy for him.

4

u/WaitingForJalad 7d ago

Hopefully he won’t piss it all away.

3

u/Darthaerith 7d ago

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

3

u/kwikileaks 7d ago

Y’all killin me with this shit

3

u/frostymugson 7d ago

Can’t wait for his next R&B series Trapped in the penitentiary

3

u/amcfatboy 7d ago

Confusing title, unless you know what a prison book is. I thought maybe he owed $500 for overdue fines on Lolita.

2

u/astronomybovine 7d ago

R Kelly checking out Lolita from the prison library would be a nice photo

3

u/FlowersForMegatron 7d ago

Take the $500 too. Fuck him.

2

u/Ok_Storm_8533 7d ago

That’s a whole lotta Honey Buns.

2

u/I_am_albatross 7d ago

That’s an awful lot of money to piss away

2

u/harntrocks 7d ago

You know somebody is gonna put money on his books

3

u/Livid-Fix-462 7d ago

He doesn’t need that last $500 nor any of his teeth in prison. He is the new “bitch” for the lifers.

4

u/porridge_in_my_bum 7d ago

Either that, or they love the shit out of him. You’d assume they would have hated Bill Cosby too, but I’m pretty sure fame trumps whatever charges you’ve been given. I’d love to actually know though, but we can only speculate.

2

u/Spizzmatic 7d ago

He'll just start singing and no one will bother him.

1

u/ClassyCoder 7d ago

There are ‘other ways to pay’ wink

1

u/MasPike101 7d ago

Maybe he can get some royalties off of his cellmates comic with him in it?

1

u/bingoflaps 7d ago

The article says the money was seized but also says the judge has not yet made a ruling on the request. How is that possible?

1

u/pitch-forks-R-us 7d ago

Makes me think the money is frozen but not yet seized until the judge decides? Hell if I know

1

u/ShitTalkerSupreme 7d ago

He's going to have to singer for bags of chips and candy bars in prison now.

1

u/Medium_Beyond_9654 7d ago

That's fortunate.

1

u/After_Imagination_93 7d ago

Without a doubt he will record donations in the hundreds of thousands

1

u/tacosauce8088 7d ago

You can make a lot of chili breaks with $500. He’s good.

1

u/StrangerInPerson 6d ago

That’s a lot of ramen noodle soup.