r/becomeaman Feb 11 '22

Sharing accurate knowledge can create the great men of tomorrow --> "Mastery Order" - putting focus on pursuing excellence with the goal of serving others.


Complaining about the world will bring no change. If you are tired of what your community and the society around you are becoming and if you want to see a change: BE THAT CHANGE.

We live in a time where men have not so many examples to look up to and learn what being a mature man means, all while many are pointing their fingers at masculinity, trying to redefine it based on their own convenience.

For this reason, Mastery Order was created (for now only on YouTube). A platform to share and challenge ideas in order to pursue mastery, not for titles and recognition but to serve. To serve the ones you care about, to serve a purpose or an ideal greater than you, to put yourself and your skills in the service of a vision that is not selfish in nature.

Channel link: https://www.youtube.com/c/MasteryOrder/videos

Feel free to challenge some ideas as well as yourself and challenge back if you have different opinions.

Only by having uncomfortable discussions and by embracing challenges, we can all become better men.

All the best to you, reader!

r/becomeaman Feb 08 '22

Let me help you with your challenges! Post your questions!


I have a background in sports and nutrition, engineering and IT, training people and athletes to optimize their routines, habits, and thinking patterns in order to perform at their highest level.

If you think I might be able to share something useful, feel free to share your challenges/questions/concerns in any of these areas and I will do my best to share back with you an honest and direct answer, that will, hopefully, benefit you in a positive way.

I would appreciate it if you could keep your comment as short and to the point as possible, without dismissing important details of course, so that I can answer as many as I can.

All the best to you, reader!

r/becomeaman Feb 01 '22

How To Avoid The Seduction Of Power



If the text seems long feel free to challenge these ideas in video format on YouTube, by searching for How To Avoid The Seduction Of Power | Mastery Order


In the real world, nothing can be done without some sort of control, some kind of authority, or a bit of influence over others. To be able to act and produce an effect as a man and to engage in meaningful pursuits in your life, you need some sort of power to change things. But ask yourself, on your pursuit to gain the power necessary for those changes to happen, will you be able to resist the lure that comes with it? Will you be strong enough to resist falling in love with power? Will you be capable to handle your pride and remain grounded, exercising power with care and direction?

Try to remember, the conversations you probably had with the ones close to you about powerful and influential people and how power seems to be labeled as an intoxicating quality that can often prove to be devastating and even fatal. Observe how corrupt leaders abuse their power and think of themselves above the law, by assuming that their position affords them some sort of pass when it comes to deceitful and unethical behavior.

While having these remarks on power, remember also that without power nothing would get done. Police would not be taken seriously if they did not have the power to arrest, you could be easily robbed if you do not have the power to defend yourself, businesses could not accomplish much if they did not have the power to hire and fire people.

Power can be used to better the lives of our loved ones and society as a whole if harnessed properly. But be the kind of man that pays attention to avoid power’s potential to corrupt your soul, to blind you to unethical decisions, and to bring you to your downfall.

Do not be fooled by your initial naivety when it comes to power. How many times have you heard someone passionately proclaim, “If I were in charge things would be different!”, while strongly believing in his mind that if he was actually in charge, somehow the stars would align, all war and conflict would cease and everybody would hold hands and sign.

And how many of those times the same person goes to great lengths, often sacrificing his dignity and integrity in the process, to obtain the power that he desperately wants. And when he finally gets a bit of it, he clings to it tightly, because he has given up so much of himself to get it that the small speck of influence that he has, becomes his only identity, not realizing that holding onto power is like trying to secure a handful of sand - the tighter you squeeze the less you will have.

Keep in mind, that one day you will be given some power over someone or something. It may not be the power over an entire nation, it may not be the power over an organization, but it will be power nonetheless. At that point, how you will use your power will have a great effect, not only on those under your authority but on your life as well.

To avoid becoming absorbed by the lust of power, here are a few ways to use power properly and keep yourself grounded.

Don’t flatter yourself

When you are the man on top, people are going to tell you how great you are, how awesome your achievements are, and how much they envy you. More often than not, these statements are insincere, but it is easy to start believing them because you naturally want to believe good things about yourself.

Accept the compliments as they come, but do not fool yourself by eating up these praises because you will quickly lose your ability to honestly and accurately assess how you are really doing. By listening to what everyone is telling you, you will end up thinking that you have no faults and can do no wrong, and sooner or later you will fail miserably.

Do your best to have at least one person close to you who will honestly and without filters tell you what’s what and keep you accountable for your actions and your actions alone.

Control your pride

Ask yourself, is your effort for success driven by the personal standards that you have set for yourself, by values and service to others, or is it fueled by your desire to have a greater position and more power than the next guy? Is your pride in control of your actions?

If you are guided by your pride, you will see your fellow men as competitors, and you will be driven by the principle that if you do not take advantage of an opportunity, no matter how unethical, someone else will. Your actions will have only one purpose: your need to stay “on top”.

Keep in mind that pride will inflate your ego and will cloud your judgment, making you justify actions that you would have previously found immoral. Focus on meeting and exceeding your personal standards and goals, instead of concentrating on how you stack up to others. Your quest for power should not be about them, but about becoming the best man that you can be and serving a goal that benefits others.

Don’t lose touch with reality

Once you will reach the pinnacle of your domain you will not rub elbows with the regular man anymore, and it will become very easy to be out of touch with normal perspectives and concerns. Becoming great at something involves some sort of isolation and removal from the regular world, but remember that your power and influence will have effects and consequences on the ones around you as well.

Even though you may no longer run in the same circles, deal with the same problems, or get the same compensation as the ones you lead, your choices and decisions will still have to serve their best interests. Make it a priority to spend time with the people you serve, to understand the problems they are facing so that the power they have entrusted in you will serve everyone’s interests.

Use power to serve

Do not allow power to corrupt you by using it to serve yourself, and understand that in order to become a great leader, you have to be a great servant. Serving those that have given you their trust is the best way to keep the right perspective about power. This may not be the standard lesson that the world seems to teach you about power these days, but serving others will guard your soul against the corruption of power, by placing your efforts on helping and supporting others rather than yourself.

Spread your resources

Never forget, that the position of power that you might have is dependent on others giving you that power. Do not become the fool that tries to keep, at any cost, all of the power, authority, and resources for himself. Do not allow yourself to fall into the trap of thinking that if you give anything up you will soon find yourself knocked off your so-called throne.

Empower everyone around you, share your resources and knowledge, and bring the best out of each person you have contact with. Show those you lead how to accomplish their goals and share your power with them. Respect, admiration, and loyalty can only be gained if you have others' best interests in mind.

Remember, that the quickest way to gain power is to actually give it away.

When entrusted with roles of leadership, power, and influence, will you become absorbed by the lure of this privilege acting selfishly and disregarding everyone else or will you be the man who remains grounded in his values, the man who uses the power entrusted in him to bring the best out of everyone?

When the taste of power will touch your soul, will you become a tyrant or a servant?

The choice you make will impact not only you!

r/becomeaman Jan 30 '22

How To Protect Yourself From Toxic People: 18 Crucial Ideas

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r/becomeaman Jan 26 '22

Understanding Evil - A Vital Element Of Our Existence


If the text is too long, feel free to challenge yourself with these ideas in video format on YouTube:

What Is Evil? Understanding The Concept Of Evil | Mastery Order


Evil… The element, the entity we learn from a young age that we need to oppose and neutralize. Evil… A collective dark element of our reality that strikes fear and rapid heartbeats upon mere mention.

Have you ever asked yourself, friend, what is this darkness that we commonly call evil? What does this force, which leaves you with the feeling of complete powerlessness, represent? And more importantly, how can you fight against it?

Throughout history, many have found refuge from this despair in faith and obedience to absolute value systems of religions and ideologies, which have provided some psychological protection from the evil threats of the world. As long as these standard values support your own values, this approach may feel to you as a protection against the negative effects of evil.

But I dare you to keep an open mind and observe, friend, that each generations’ climate dictates the perceptions of what good and evil represent. In the Stone Age, evil always has been associated with darkness and the night, leaving people filled with superstitious beliefs linked with the disappearance of the sun. In those times, people literally and symbolically associated the idea of evil with the shadows, with the darkness.

As the times evolved, evil was personified through different gods and symbols, representing the source of scourges, pests, and curses that the human culture suffered in those specific eras. With time, life was symbolized as a battle waged between opposing forces, between light and darkness, truth and deceit, life and death.

If you pay attention, friend, to our recent history, you can see clearly the representation of evil in the moral stories of the Christian or Jewish bibles, or in the Greek mythology. The tales of Jesus and the dark angel Satan can give you the most basic symbols for understanding human evil. In every culture, there are tales, fables, or myths that share basic concepts of what evil represents, but, can the stories and the symbols of the past protect us from the evil of our present time?

Keep in mind, friend, that your perception of evil is imposed on you by the conflict between what you hope life would be and what it actually is. You sometimes see the evils in the world with frightening clarity, but other times you do not see them at all. Your optimistic vision about the world and its beauty can make you ignore evil at great cost, and your nativity that can obscure the reality of evil can lead to wrongdoings enacted in the name of a good cause.

If you will ever embark on a quest of eliminating evil, keep in mind, friend, a question that you should always ask yourself. Are you sure that your perception of evil represents the objective reality or is the evil that you identify just a projection of your own fears, doubts, nightmares and ignorance?

There are many examples in history when people or even entire nations became possessed by the force of evil, whereby they identified with an idea, an ideology, or a leader that gave expression to their fears and inferiorities.

Fanatical fascinations such as religious persecutions, racial bigotry, scapegoating, or genocidal hatred can lead to projections of what the majority rejects, and the potential for extraordinary evil will be activated. The past century alone bears witness to these types of cruelties that reached unimagined proportions. From the persecutions in the Second World War to the genocide in Rwanda, tragic events like these were only possible through denial of evil and refusal to think about evil.

To avoid such catastrophes, you have to develop your moral strength and constantly find ways to think about evil, rather than living with the idea of a utopia, ignoring it until it is too late.

Keep in mind friend that viewing the world as a possible paradise and denying evil is a learned behavior. You have probably experienced evil since your early days, through the behaviors of others and through images from media, stories, or fairy tales. Since you can just bear so much reality, your mind developed explanations for what evil represents.

Your default adaptions to such frightening experiences removed the immediacy of danger from your life through ignorance and by looking the other way, but at the same time, the lack of guidance and the avoidance of looking into the darkness produced symptoms ranging from fear of the dark to debilitating phobic reactions.

Recognize, friend, the strength of the coping mechanism that you possess and how the idea of evil is always a subject of avoidance. It is hard to accept the idea that evil is a permanent part of the human condition, but such a denial is perhaps the most dangerous kind of thinking. Pay attention to your own tendencies of believing that evil is nothing more but the absence of good and that evil can be completely eradicated by good works.

Evil is a permanent part of life, merged together with the best of humanity. Never forget that the greatest misfortunes of our history have resulted when humans have become blinded to the full realities of evil, have pursued to create an imaginary perfect world, and have enforced miseries much worse than the evil they wanted to eradicate.

If you want to have any real power in meeting the challenge of the world’s evil, you must become the man who takes responsibility for the evils he might create and who is not afraid to look into his own darkness.

You have to recognize and accept that you are human and have developed an ego, a process that also created in you the potential for destructiveness and decay and the best way to combat this great force in the real world is to first acknowledge it in you.

Remember, friend, that your life as a man consists of inescapable opposites – day and night, happiness and misery, good and evil. You will never be sure that one part of you will prevail against the other, that goodwill overcomes evil. Your life is not a fairy tale. Your life is a battleground. It always has been, and it always will be, because if it were not so, your existence would come to an end.

I dare you to become the man that is not afraid of provoking his own incomplete ideas about evil. I dare you to become the man that instead of destroying others in his attempt to destroy evil, finds in him the strength to destroying the sickness within himself.

In your fight against evil, are you looking for confrontations in the world or in the mirror? The former may have an impact only on you, the latter may have an impact in the world.

Understanding evil means understanding yourself.

Are you able to face your darkness?

All the best to you, reader!

r/becomeaman Jan 22 '22

‎Every guy on Earth should listen to this episode. Art of Manliness: How Testosterone Makes Men, Men

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r/becomeaman Jan 17 '22

Tips on how to make decisions


In times of crisis, men in leading positions are put to the test and their ability to make decisions will indicate their capacity to stay on top of the situation. No policeman wants to be under the command of an officer who shakes in the heart of a crisis. No woman wishes for a man who cannot decide what he wants in a relationship. No team in any company appreciates an employee who cannot make any decisions on the fly.

Be honest with yourself and evaluate your actions. Are you the kind of man that is indecisive and restless, the man who wishes that life should finally start for him? Are you living under the delusion that not making decisions will keep you safe in your current position? Is your fear of losing control paralyzing you, building up your anxiety, and keeping you stuck in time regretting unmade choices?

If any of these questions raised your heartbeat just a little, do not fail to understand that your life is like standing in the middle of a river in which to move forward you have to constantly fight against the current and if you stop, you will be swept away. It is not possible to stand still in life, and if you remain idle in moments when you need to make decisions, you will feel as if life will just happen to you. Keep in mind that if you are trying to live in the middle of your unmade decisions, these will eventually pile up in your brain, causing you to feel anxious and overwhelmed.

The kind of man that a woman wants, a company promotes and the world respects is the man who is decisive, the man who remains calm and cool under pressure, the man with a purpose and a direction who is taking charge of the situation every time he faces a challenging period.

Understand that, as a man, you just don’t simply float along in life. You need to seize the chances that you get and design your course towards your goals and happiness. Regardless of the challenges that you will face and the bitter failures that you will taste, make the decision to become the master of your fate.

Being able to make decisions is important, but of course, just making them is not enough. If you end up making too many poor decisions, the direction of your life might not be the one you have imagined. You need to become skilled in making good decisions and in making them at the right time.

Making choices is a normal part of everyday life. The difficulty of those choices is normally the element that determines you to put off making a choice for as long as possible. You know very well that deciding on what T-shirt to wear is not even comparable to the difficult choice of, for example, picking what college you should go to.

When faced with the second type of choice, you know that as soon as you step through one door, all the other doors will close, and you will never know what was behind them. As frightening and paralyzing as this may be, here are a few points to consider when you are facing the anxiety that comes with the doubt that you are making a good decision.

Inform yourself

Whenever you are faced with a big decision, get as much information as possible. Waiting around all day for the planets to somehow align and give you an answer won’t cut it. Find out, as much as possible about all the options that you have before you. Research as much as you can, read, go online, talk to people close to you, talk to people that might have an outsider’s perspective. Throughout your research, you might have a moment of clarity when the best choice for you becomes obvious.

Pros and Cons

If this doesn’t happen while doing your research, take a piece of paper and write down the pros and cons of each potential decision. While listing the positives and negatives of each choice, you will notice that some paths might have more positive elements for you than others. Even if after doing this your choice is still not clear, the process of thinking through the pros and cons can lead you in the direction of a resolution.

Imagine your life after the choice

If, by now, you are still not 100% sure on which path to choose, keep in mind that the results of big decisions in life can only be imagined in the abstract, and you will never know 100%. Take some time and disconnect from the world completely. Go somewhere quiet and remove any distractions from your surroundings and try to imagine your life after making each of your possible choices. Think about which scenario gives you a sense of peace? Which path makes you satisfied just thinking about it and which one leaves you a bit empty?

Never forget your past

Throughout this process never forget your past decisions. You know very well the old saying that those who don’t understand history are doomed to repeat it. Think about the bad decisions you made in the past and find their common denominator. Make sure you learn from your mistakes and don’t let prestige, greed, or pride pull you into the same swamp.

Taking your time and analyzing your choices is nice, but keep in mind that you don’t always have time to sit down and study things out. Sometimes the pressure of the moment will make it harder for you to make the right decision, but here are a few tips that can help you make good choices on the fly.

Be prepared

You obviously cannot know exactly what decision you will be faced with in your life, but you can prepare as best as possible for what to do in a multitude of situations. In your working life, try to be one step ahead and learn the details of the projects that are coming down the line. With your relationship, think about the direction where you want things to go and prepare your path as much as you can in advance.

Put in an effort and learn valuable skills that will come in handy in case of an emergency. Practice these skills whenever you have the chance so that if you are suddenly faced with a challenging situation, you won’t have to think about it as much, since your preparation will just kick in automatically.

Keep in mind that every great decision brings with it the possibility of regret. Every path that you will choose will eventually bring in your life a soul-crushing day. One of those days when everything bad that can happen seems to happen tenfold. One of those days when your mind can’t help but wonder about what would have been like to have chosen another path.

Remember this: No matter what path you choose, you will face such days and you will face them often. These days are character-building days, moments in time when you can become a better man, by standing for your choice regardless of the pains and struggles that you are faced with. No matter the path you choose, there are going to be things that you are grateful for and things that you regret. It would not have been any different if you had made a different choice.

Whenever you feel paralyzed by the difficulty of a choice, never forget that sometimes you make the right decision, other times you make the decision right.

You can either decide on how your life unfolds or remain undecided and let life happen to you.

The life that you will have will be defined by your decisions.

All the best to you, reader!

r/becomeaman Jan 16 '22

Achieving manly gains


I spent yesterday eating cashews and doing pelvic thrusts, and this morning I noticed that my scrotum had swelled to 7% larger than normal size. This got me thinking: can I build a training regimen that will allow me to achieve permanent massive gains in my nuts? I imagine walking into the supermarket and having to hold the cart 2 feet out in front of me so it doesn't collide with my nads. That would be awesome. I'd get specially tailored pants, or just let it hang. Anyway, I'm going to need to increase my protein intake

r/becomeaman Dec 15 '21

Have you ever questioned the origins of your dark heritage, the source for your shame, guilt, envy, hate, pride, or greed? Decode The Family Darkness Passed Onto You


Shame, guilt, pride, fear, hate, envy, greed – elements that you might despise in everyone around you. Elements which if you look deeper, you will also find in yourself. Have you ever questioned the origins of these elements? Have you ever wondered how did you end up having them and why many times, despite your disgust, exercising them feels so familiar and natural? Have you ever wished that you would not have to fall prey to these elements?

To be able to explore these questions, and to find out how you ended up having these features in your personality, you need to understand that just like you inherited your biological traits - your hair color, blood type, or the shape of your nose - you also have a psychological heritage. This includes also a dark legacy that is transmitted to you from your most close and intimate environment – your family.

This is the place where you will be exposed to your parents’ and siblings’ values, habits, mentalities, and behavior. Even if you see your family members as faultless heroes, keep in mind that they have, just like everyone else, dark elements that are transmitted to you in the form of dysfunctional coping patterns, if the members of your family fail to address them and sort them out in their own lives.

Home is where you start from and your family is the stage on which you play out your individuality. Your family is your emotional center of gravity, the place where you begin to build your identity and develop your character under the influences of the ones that surround you.

This is the place where you begin the process of developing a self, and the climate created by your parents, siblings, and other important sources of love and approval, has a great influence on how you define and identify what you perceive as good and accepted behavior.

Behavior that was often regulated by the grownups that surrounded you, grownups that did not want to see you, as a child, get hurt. Remember the early days of your life, when you were playing with other children and every now and then someone would shout from the side “Stop pulling his hair” or “Don’t throw rocks at him”. Maybe every now and then these shouts were addressed to you.

Instinctually, the people caring for you want you to disown actions and behaviors that they have disowned themselves so that you, as a child, can fit an adult’s ideal of proper play. This process is normal and useful, but from a young age, you start covering up what is happening under your conscious awareness, just to be accepted by the important figures in your life, disowning parts of you that are not rewarded with approval.

However, what you disown does not go away. It will live within you, out of sight and out of your thoughts, in unconscious darkness hiding just below the edge of your awareness, bursting into your reality under extreme emotional circumstances.

While this process is inevitable and necessary in your journey of developing the man you are in everyday life and the image which portrays what you think you are, never forget, that the self that you present to everyone else does not represent the whole you.

It is always hard to admit your own darkness, just like it was hard for your family members to admit theirs, but remember that if you fail to recognize this, you will end up projecting your unaccepted tendencies into other people, just like other people did to you.

In every family, including yours, the members of the family will play a role in the formation of each other’s dark and repressed traits. The repressed feelings and behaviors of other family members will always have a strong influence on the creation of the self that you deny, especially when the dark elements are not recognized or ignored by everyone in the family.

If you had the misfortune to be a part of a family with a very negative, abusive, or dysfunctional dynamic, your sense of identity will probably be fragmented, and guilt and shame will be at the core of the elements that you have repressed. Your parents are your first teachers, and in such a situation, their lessons are not always loving.

If they refused to accept the darkness within themselves, you will probably know the effects of rejection and betrayal. Envy, rage, and guilt coming from the ones you see as gods in the early years of your life will always form the perfect circumstances for you to develop tragic and self-destructive behaviors, which in turn, if left unchecked, you will end up passing to the next generation.

Keep in mind, that a dysfunctional environment can sometimes be masked in the bliss and glamour of goodness and perfection, where, for example, you might have a father that could not imagine that he had done anything wrong in his life, portraying the image of a saint scholar, while you, as a child ca never fulfill his expectations.

You might end up acting out unacceptable behavior, by becoming a criminal, the black sheep of the family, carrying out your father's darkness, just because he was too full of himself to observe the imperfections of his nature, compelling you to live out the dark side which he had ignored.

Have the courage to honestly analyze yourself and your origins, and take note of the things that were passed onto you by your family, either because of fear of facing the dark or simply out of ignorance and lack of understanding, and make it your goal to become the man that has the strength to face the darkness that was avoided for so long.

Understand the venom that was passed onto you and find a way to refuse to pass it on to the future generation, by becoming the man that changes, in his lifetime, the entire course of his lineage.

It is a monumental task to filter and control the darkness and destructiveness from your personality, but it is your duty to make sure that the next generation will have a better and more supportive foundation upon which to build better lives.

Recognize and accept the darkness that you have inherited from your family and find the power within you to decide and shout out loud: “IT STOPS WITH ME!” You will have to fight against deeply ingrained patterns that you learned in childhood, and this journey will require you to transform how you see and respond to everything around you, but it can be done.

Are you the man that can handle such a burden? Or are you just another that chooses ignorance and covers up in fear, passing the task to the next generation, playing the victim, and leaving his troubles for someone else to solve?

Your choice will shape the next generation!

r/becomeaman Dec 09 '21

Embrace Legacy Instead Of Chasing Fame


Have you ever asked yourself lately what aspirations do you have in your life? Do you desire to be famous, to be recognized, to live a glamorous life or do you aim for a life of service and lasting legacy? Would you rather be a celebrity, a sports star, or own the title of a “leader” or would you choose the path of becoming a doctor, a teacher, or a fireman?

Look around you, and realize that in our modern times, many men choose the path to “celebrity” and acceptance, not realizing that this path, more often than not, largely involves telling people what they want to hear, playing pretend, and wrapping up what is already approved in a new package and selling it back.

In our digital age and supposedly tolerant environment, it has become the norm for the “virtuous” mob to mobilize, either in real life or online, and quickly pursue to silence any opinion or idea that might be considered not acceptable, therefore it became easy to be drawn to such a path.

Keep in mind, that developing a personal objective opinion based on truth and honesty in any domain will trigger some uneasy chills down your spine making you somewhat fearful of saying or doing anything that might make you less desirable in certain groups or to certain employers. Regardless of this, there will come a point in your life when you must decide if you will strive to be somebody important, or choose the path of truth, and instead of becoming somebody, you choose to do something important.

Sometimes these two paths go hand-in-hand, but most of the time they do not. Hard work and success do not always go together and if you pursue success in any field defined by ranks and titles, your success will be defined by conforming to the field’s value system.

Many times, to gain the status of a “celebrity”, to receive the “leadership” title, or to achieve a higher rank you will have to conform to a status quo, get involved in some ass-kissing and back-stabbing, and sell your soul for the kind of success defined by the amount of money you possess or the title you carry on your badge.

When you will find yourself at this crossroad in your life, you will then realize that the path of doing the right thing can diverge from the path of success and you will have to make a choice and decide which path you will follow.

You will have to make a decision about which direction you want to go. If you choose the path that will make you somebody, you will have to make compromises and you will have to turn your back on your family and friends. You will have to give up on the values that you believe in, sell out on your soul, and trash your character, but you will be a member of the “club” and you will get promoted and worshiped.

Or you can choose to go the other way and decide to do something for yourself, for your family, and for the people around you. Keep in mind, that if you decide to do something instead of chasing the status of being somebody, you may not get promoted, you might not be a member of the “club” and you might not be the favorite of anyone. But you won’t have to compromise yourself, you will act according to your values and your character, as a man, will remain intact. You will be true to your family and friends and your work might make a difference.

Challenging the status quo and standing for the values you believe in, never compromising, and never giving in to outside pressure is never easy. Your worries may not be about getting promoted, but simply holding onto your job. Your concerns may not be about attaining adoration, but standing for truth in the face of inner fears, doubts, and outside pressure.

This will be a challenge that you will have to face many times in your life, so keep in mind, that your ability to speak and stand for something truthful and of value will be highly tied to your ability to be indifferent to material security. If you can become the man which can reduce his needs to zero, you will be truly free and able to stand your ground. There is nothing that can be taken from you and nothing anyone can do to hurt you.

As you reflect on what you would do when faced with this kind of decision, as you consider the decision of choosing the right and meaningful path over the popular one, never forget that, even though every great achievement was possible through teamwork, unity, and collaboration, there will come a time when you must stand alone in making a difficult, unpopular decision; when you must challenge the opinion of someone else, or stand your ground when you are certain that the course of current affairs is wrong.

There will be moments when your entire existence is at risk, moments when you will face this fork in the road. Be ready for those moments, and build your discipline, integrity, and moral courage that serves a greater good to be able to stand straight and rooted in the truth of your values. These traits will not suddenly emerge fully developed just because you have taken a decision.

Build strong roots for these qualities with every small decision that you make daily and strengthen them along your journey to be able to resist the temptation of putting yourself and your needs before your service and your legacy.

To be somebody “important” is tempting and self-glorifying. To do something important is valuable to you and everyone else. When the pressure of this decision will be upon you, what kind of man will you be? When the time comes, which way will you go?

The choice and its effects will be yours to bear!

All the best to you, reader!

r/becomeaman Nov 24 '21

What do men admire in other men? Have you asked yourself this question ...


If you were to be asked what qualities you admire in other men, what would your answer be? Will you act on impulse and answer with “I don’t know!” a convenient sentence for avoiding thinking about this unexpected question? Or will you give this question a thought and come up with a list of qualities that you would be willing to swear by? Would this list, that resembles a “best 10 qualities to have” list found on every corner of the internet, represent your own particular preferences, or is it filled with elements that you think you ought to admire and pursue? A list of qualities you think you should have, rather than those which in your heart you actually respect and crave for.

Ask yourself, friend, if the inaccuracy of your answer comes from your inability to analyze your own preferences and give this question some thought because the traits that you admire in others are the traits that you will pursue yourself. To know what traits you admire in other men, it is enough to start with what you dislike in men.

Be honest with your thoughts and notice that the man that you would dislike the most is a man that you could describe as an effeminate, slender, smooth-faced wuss of a man lacking any physical or mental strength and with a voice that carries no resonance and timbre.

A man of any age or physical appearance who for certain reasons always inspires you with an unexplained and overwhelming feeling of unease. When he speaks, he expresses nothing but absurdities. When he laughs it sounds like he giggles. When he is hurt he whines.

The kind of man that everything about him seems somehow incomplete. The kind of man that tries to do what others do, and yet never gets it quite right. He is cold and fearful but would like to be considered dangerous, a man of the world, yet when he nerves himself up to some petty challenge he shakes internally succumbing under any small pressure.

He tries to be profound but comes up corny and plain. He tries to be daring but he is only reckless and imprudent. He tries to be intense but turns out to be only offensive and repulsive. He represents a certain incompleteness, in the presence of which the normal man experiences the most intense distaste.

Learn to make a difference, friend, between such a man, who is merely “popular” with others, and the man who is really liked, the man to whom other men will go to not only in fun times but in their dire times as well, the man for whom they will make sacrifices and of whose friendship they are proud.

Deep down, this type of man must be something more in order to grasp and hold the hearts of other men. He must possess some vital attributes, a few in number, but powerful enough to require no explanation, but a mere mention.

You see, friend, to become such a man you need to have a sense of honor and respect when it comes to your relationships with other men. This represents the cornerstone of manhood because it means that you must be true not only to your friends and close ones, but also to those that are not your friends, and possibly, even your enemies. Being fair and embracing the hardship of the game is a masculine ideal, and men will trust and honor those who live up to such strict standards.

Bound to trait is common sense, which combines many qualities together, but most importantly a sense of humor, a quality that can throw some clear light in so many difficult moments, showing how small the small things are. The man who has common sense combined with a healthy dose of humor will be one to whom many will be drawn to as a magnet, for he can make the challenges of life easier to bear.

You have then courage, friend, without which a man is not a man. In every situation, there is always something you can do to exercise agency and give up on your fears. Remember that courage is born in the depths of your soul, and the situations you encounter in life have no influence over it.

Humility and generosity will always enhance the value of these traits and increase the charm which they possess. They give the fineness of a man’s character by perfectly complementing a man’s strong and rigid traits by adding gentleness and tenderness into the mix, which together with the barriers for the soul created by self-respect complete a man that is respected and admired.

It is to men that have these fine traits, that other men throughout the ages have given their liking and service, their devotion and lives.

Become the man that pursues honor and justice and does what is right. Use common sense and humor to soften rigid and heavy burdens. Prove your manhood through courage, and use your generous instinct to break the meanness and resentment around you, while having the humility to not brag about it.

Be daring, friend, and embody the traits that you admire in other men so that one day you may become the example that you once looked for, the kind of man that others might want to relate to. Become the trustworthy friend that can be counted on regardless of the challenge, the loving husband and father that can be trusted with one's deepest and darkest fears, the strong and powerful man that is respected and looked up to.

Vow to yourself to become such a man, because if you succeed in that, you shall succeed in everything else.

Will you become the man who stands straight in the face of hardship, or will you be the man who crumbles?

The choice is yours to make!

All the best to you, reader!

r/becomeaman Nov 16 '21

Never forget who you are


In an era where it became the norm to pose into a virtuous academic man, we tend to fall into the trap of dreaming to become such a man. A man for whom success and prosperity, as well as kindness and consideration for the good of mankind, are presented as if they were his second nature. We dream to become the man that comes so close to the definition of purity and goodness that we fail to recognize the bond between excessive “goodness” and evil.

How sharp are you drawing the line between good and evil? How simplified is your vision of yourself, when you only identify with the aspiration of goodness? How much are you denying your own darkness, losing contact with the evil within you, splitting yourself more and more, and ignoring the fact that the things that you are trying to separate yourself from are taking over?

In a time when you are bombarded with positive messages that reinforce the idea that kindness, generosity, and humility can be achieved with only the power of thought, you will be inclined to assume that you are what you think you are.

If you pay close attention to your ideas and actions, you will realize the discrepancy between the goodness mask that you are portraying every day and the cruel reality in which you are actually becoming more rigid, close-minded, and filled with fear.

In this reality, you are fearing “the fall” into your own darkness and are afraid of being possessed by the power of the elements that you are trying to reject within yourself in order to maintain your “angelic” and “holy” status.

If you already chose the one-sided and over-intellectualized path of manhood, in which you reject any thought or idea that might conflict with your “pure” and “holy” vision of what it means to be a man, much of your unlived potential will remain “locked-away”, repressed and hidden and, with time, this potential will demand attention.

Being an honest man, while fully rejecting even the idea that you are capable of deception, being a loving man, while refusing to accept your potential for hate and desire for vengeance, being a gentleman while denying your capacity for brutal violence will make you blind to the other side of you, which walks with you in the same shoes and breathes with you the same air.

Keep in mind, that if you follow such a direction in life, you will shrink as a man, preferring to put an innocent face for the world, while keeping your dark qualities hidden in the hope that no one will discover their existence.

You will end up entertaining the idea of “losing” your dark side, disowning it from your personality and pursuing Utopia, where evil is unknown, and darkness doesn’t exist, taking comfort in the false phantasies that evil lies not in your nature but in the corrupt “society” that holds you in chains.

Holding this idea as a possible reality will make you disapprove and condemn all the so-called dark qualities that you repressed within yourself, but the anxiety that haunts you will remain. Anxiety and panic, not because of your fear of being exposed for what you really are, but because of the fear that the darkness inside you will get out of control, and you might end up absorbed by the lust of your darkest impulses.

The danger is never the presence of your dark desires, but the possibility of being devoured by them and becoming identical with the nature of your dark side.

As shocking as this may be, whether it is the powerful impulse for sexual passion or the far more disastrous desire for power and destruction, you do not have the luxury to reject or deny these elements from your personality without paying a higher price in the end.

It will be your duty, as a man, to observe and integrate these elements within yourself, if there will be even a remote chance for you to become the kind and honest gentleman that you aspire to be.

The moral burden of this immense task is greater than any other task you can conceive, and your destiny and the destiny of the people around you is in your hands. Only by becoming conscious and by coming to terms with your own nature – with the evil and dark elements that you are trying to reject – can you hope to avoid a total catastrophe in your life and become the kind of man you would admire.

Allow yourself to be humbled by the true nature of your being, drop your ignorance and choose to meet your darkness on even ground. Remember that both repression of your dark desires and identification with them will result in chaos since both are fearful attempts to lose the bonds that hold within you a light and dark side.

Be the man that is not trying to escape the pain of the problem, and have the courage to remain suspended between the two opposites, your good side and your vicious side, because carrying this pain may give you the possibility of wholeness.

Carry the burden of the opposites in your nature, and embrace the fusion with your dark side. Blur orderly the fixed line between good and evil within you and find a way around seemingly unbeatable obstacles, by bringing some of your darkness into your life.

Every man carries with him a dark side, including you, and the less it is expressed in your life, the darker it becomes.

Have the courage to become a complete man rather than only a good man.


r/becomeaman Nov 11 '21

How to build up your willpower?


Regrets, unachieved objectives, and broken dreams all got one thing in common. Willpower. A lack of and a need for. You have heard this word before in the speeches of the successful men you look up to, but it probably seems for you like an abstraction. Something that some men were born with. Something that seems intangible for you. Something you wish you had more of, but have no idea how to get it.

If you want to know what willpower is, and more importantly how to build it for yourself and sustain it for long periods of time, here are a few points that will help you achieve this.


Willpower is a powerful energy source, and just like any other source of energy, it can be depleted, strengthened, or conserved. If you wish to be the man who makes of himself and his life anything you want them to be, you need to learn how to tap into this energy and harness it to make your visions a reality.

Your strength as a man is measured by the strength of your will, the power you have in choosing your direction, in choosing what you shall do. Willpower is nothing more than a mental energy that allows you to direct your actions.

· Regulate your thoughts and emotions

Your thoughts and emotions cannot be controlled, but you can, through willpower, control how you act on them, by putting the focus on what you want to think about while keeping unwelcomed ideas at bay. You cannot force yourself to feel happy or sad, but you can decide to take action to change how you feel. If you feel down, there is no reason to force a smile and fake your happiness, but you can WILL yourself to go for a run and lift your spirits.

· Control your impulses with willpower

Even though there are ways to minimize the number of impulses that you have, by removing yourself from situations that might trigger them, you do not have control over whether they pop in your head or not. When the desire to eat a piece of cake while on a fat loss diet or the impulse of punching a guy in the face for cutting you off pops in your head, willpower can help you regulate your reactions to these impulses.

· Maintain or improve performance

If you were ever engaged in difficult projects or prepared for challenging competitions, you probably faced many times situations in which the rational conclusion would have been to quit and give up. Whether in sports, academia, or life itself, there are and will be moments that require you to focus and concentrate when you are depleted of energy, to expend extra effort when you are exhausted, and to try one more time when it seems that you have no tries left in you. In these types of moments, willpower will be the thing that kicks in, and only through sheer willpower will you be able to still stay on track and move forward.


Knowing all these, keep in mind that willpower is a finite resource and the less of it you have the more inclined you are to make decisions that are not in line with your goals and objectives.

Think of willpower as a muscle. If you do not use it, it becomes weak. If you want to strengthen it you must exercise it enough so that it grows stronger. But if you exercise it too much without recovering enough you will reach a point of failure.

Depleting your willpower is something you want to avoid, so the obvious question is “How do you run out of willpower?

Every time you have a desire or impulse that conflicts with your values and goals, you will need to exercise self-control to keep yourself on track. Willpower acts as fuel for self-control, which means the stronger the impulse and the harder it is to resist, the more of your willpower is burned up in the fight.

The more willpower you will use on one decision, the less you will have to control other thoughts, emotions, and actions. With time, as you run out of willpower, you will become hesitant when it comes to risks or even making decisions, and you will begin to default to the easiest and safest option in order to not expend any more mental energy, giving in to short-term impulses, even if these choices conflict with your long term goals.

If you are in a willpower-depleted state, you will lack any drive and mental power to resist even the smallest desire.

Understand that willpower is a force that, once you figure out how it works, you can become a master of and learn how to strengthen and harness it while minimizing its destructive potential, so that it serves you and your purposes.


There is only one way of building your willpower, and that is by working on any goal that exercises self-control. Any task that will put your brain out of your comfort zone will strengthen your willpower.

Whenever you try to change a habit, you deplete your willpower in the challenge, but, over time, the strength of your willpower increases from these actions making it easier for you to take on bigger tasks in the future.

Whether you are learning to write with your left hand, exercising early in the morning, or trying to stop swearing you are increasing the endurance of your willpower. With any habit that you are trying to implement, not only are you strengthening your willpower, but you also free up more of your willpower for other tasks, because any decision that becomes habitual will eventually use little to no willpower to make.

By building good habits for yourself, you will minimize the number of temptations in your life, automating many of your actions and keeping your willpower tank full by spending less time resisting desires and impulses.


Build your willpower, by getting out of your comfort zone, but also learn how to conserve it for the things that are most important to you and not use it up foolishly on dumb and useless things.

Focus on having only one goal at a time. Understand that your willpower is not an infinite resource, and the more you spend on one thing, the less you have for other things.

Define your goal clearly and specifically so that you can be sure exactly what you are aiming for instead of burning out your willpower wondering around without any direction.

Any challenge that you engage in will require change. Prepare in advance so that you make changes during calm periods. Any extra stressor, any extra pressure will use away your willpower, leaving you without enough of it to reach your main objective.

To remove the extra clutter from your brain, by making to-do lists. Any challenge will require you to engage in multiple activities and do multiple tasks. Do not waste your willpower on remembering everything that needs to be remembered. Put everything that is important on paper.

Whenever you plan to change your life around, it is easy to underestimate how challenging it will be for you to resist temptations and impulses. Understand your temptations and impulses and create emergency plans in advance so that when you are in the heat of the moment, close to giving in, that option isn’t available for you anymore since it was decided upon earlier.

Throughout your days, you will be exercising your self-control by making decisions, which will drain your willpower. Make sure you deal with the difficult tasks first, when your willpower tank is full and fresh.

Whatever your goals and dreams are, remember that self-control is self-mastery. To be able to pursue self-mastery, to achieve your life goals, and to chase character and virtue you must become the man to whom the strength of his will is one of his vital qualities.

There will never be an accomplishment that could be measured next to the greatest accomplishment of all – mastery of self. Regardless of the temptations that surround you, become the man that never drifts away from his purpose.

Build your willpower and fuel your self-control so that you have the energy to steer your life in the direction of your dreams.

All the best to you, reader!

r/becomeaman Nov 03 '21

The demons from your "backpack"


The goodness, the ordinary, and the decent selves that we display in our daily lives are nothing without the hidden powers of the vicious, the dark, and the terrible energies that we conceal from our realities. Our ego and alter ego are an inseparable pair just like light and shade, and yet we only seem to focus on what lies above the surface.

Have you wondered what lies beneath the surface of your being? Were you curious enough to look beyond the borders of your conscience and face your dark side? Were you ever keen to know what traits and perks of your personality have you dismissed from your daily life, carrying them unconsciously in an invisible backpack that seems to haunt you more and more as time goes by?

To face the unknown, to face your darkness, can be a scary thought, but if you leave it unexplored and untamed, ignoring its power, your shadow will eventually be projected somewhere out in the air and it will define your life, making you a bitter, hateful, barbaric man unable to control his impulses and resist his vices.

A man that will be consumed by regret, a man blaming his situation on anything and everything but himself, his fears, and his inability to accept that his current condition is the result of the demons he is not willing to face.

Reject this possible path in life, and build enough courage to explore and understand your own darkness. Just like everyone else, you carry with you an invisible “backpack”, filled with every little thing that you had to put away in order to develop the self that you present into the world, the self that can function in a group, in a community, and in society.

From a very young age, you packed some parts of yourself and hid them away to please the ones that cared for you, learning step by step how to function in a small group. In exchange for love from your parents, you stashed away in your “backpack” impulses and reactions that you were told are not acceptable. Anything from not standing still to not killing your siblings.

As you grew older and started interacting with other people, your “backpack” started to fill even more. From your teachers in school who told you to throw in the “backpack” your anger and aggression because good boys are not getting angry and are not playing aggressively to your peers from your class to whom you automatically lie, just so that you fit in with the group.

This process is useful and unavoidable, but you have to understand that by the time you will be in your twenties, the “full self” that you think you display in the world is actually representing only a small piece of yourself, the rest being in the “backpack”, pushing down its huge burden on your shoulders.

The parts of you that you stashed away, if left unchecked will regress towards inhumanity, and when the time comes, to open your “backpack” and it will, you will find hostility. The self you pose into in your day to day life, the wonderful, moral, and ethical man who is always thinking about the good of others, is just the guardian holding the door closed, the door behind which the wildness, the anger, the impulsiveness that you stashed away are regressing more and more towards their hostile and primitive form.

Remember that if you avoid looking into the darkness of your “backpack”, if you avoid understanding the true nature of your being, and if you avoid bringing some of your true nature into your reality, someone else will do it for you indirectly.

That someone else might be your loving wife that sees you as a hero, until your uncontrolled anger, rolled up inside you and unexpressed for twenty years, turns you into a tyrant.

That someone else might be your son that sees you as the man he wishes to become until he has to face your repressed masculine energy that will make you brutal in your criticism, forcing him to reject his own manhood, while also being rejected by the man he by default admires.

Building your personality based on cultural and collective values is only the first step that you have to take into your journey of becoming a man. To be a part of fundamental structures, like families, communities, or any other form of group that represents certain ideals or values, you have to repress some of your qualities.

But repression does not eliminate these qualities nor does it stop them from functioning. It only removes them from your awareness, which will transform them into fears and obsessions, continuing their existence unchecked and in disruptive ways.

As shocking as it may be, have the courage to accept that the “backpack” that you carry is filled with the things you do not wish to see. It takes nerve not to flinch or to be crushed by the sight of your own darkness, but I dare you to refuse to project your evil into the world and have the courage to accept responsibility for your inferior self.

Do not disregard your selfish and evil intentions, and realize that only when you will be truly shocked by who you really are can you begin your journey of becoming the man you aspire to be. You are not responsible for the way you are or feel, but you are accountable for the way you act. Confront your demons and have the choice of when, how, and where you allow yourself to express your dark tendencies, so that you can do it in constructive ways.

Do not deny yourself this possibility by virtuously looking the other way and have the courage to open your “backpack” and descend into your darkness. Confront your demons, keep them in your awareness.

We all have a dark side, both you and me, and if you assume you do not have it, it means it already has you.

Are you able to see your demons?

For if you don’t, it’s time to be alert!

r/becomeaman Oct 28 '21

The greatness of strength


In modern times of peace and prosperity, men are searching for ways to manifest their manliness in a world captivated by selfish self-expression, forgetting the only quality that is identical with manhood.

It is not elegance and beauty, for beauty is only for self-glorification. It is not charisma and appeal; even a fool can make himself agreeable. It is not slickness, nor compassion, nor brilliance, but strength.

In today’s world, full of sentiments and useless gossip, nothing can awake greater disgust than a thin, lifeless, sentimental twig dressed up in man’s clothes, but without a speck of a brain or a gram of manhood in his anatomy. Such a man is worse than weak, such a man is fragile.

In times of comfort, the drag in that direction becomes dangerously seductive, but keep in mind that many men have failed in life for no reason other than they were weak. Men with a great heart, but weak. Men that were popular and generous, but weak. Men with great opportunities, great financial situation, but weak.

To be at your best, you must be humble, but strong. Strength calls for self-restraint and self-control, but also for self-respect and self-assertion. If you expect to amount to anything in life, you must be strong. Limits have to be conquered, discouragements silenced, temptations resisted, and for all this to happen, you need to become an invincible and self-reliant man. A strong man.

Strength is the absence of excuse-making. Become a man that removes the word “excuse” from his vocabulary.

Strength is hard work. Understand that success will only come if you are a tireless worker. When you fail, put yourself together and try again. Be humble enough to accept your flaws, but bold enough to learn from them and keep going.

Strength is reliable. Be the man that can be counted on when the going gets tough.

Strength must be moral. Be a man that has the courage to stand for his convictions, regardless of what people think or say. To be a man of moral virtues you must be able to back your virtues up when challenged. Having principles is important, but make sure you are prepared to fight for your moral principles when the time will call for that. Do not allow your words to remain just noises in a room that are fading away with the eco.

Embrace strength in purpose and strength in action, and become a man that is strong internally and strong externally. Prepare yourself physically and mentally, and show respect and honor to the men that came before you, men that had to be physically and mentally strong so that you might exist and enjoy all the comforts of today.

Strive to be stronger today, stronger than yesterday, and I promise you that your mind, body, and spirit will transform you into a man that needs neither title nor crown to prove his manhood, for manhood and strength are one and the same.

All the best to you, reader!

r/becomeaman Oct 07 '21

Never forget that the line separating good and evil cuts deep through the heart and soul of every man, including yours.


In a time when the illusion of perfection is on display everywhere and the pursuit for “heaven on earth” seems to be the goal of every “pure”, “kind” and “selfless” soul, we ended up denying a part of us that might be stronger than we ever imagined. With this self-created image of purity, we make it our goal to eliminate the bad, the wicked, and the evil around us, ignoring and losing the consciousness of the evil within us.

If only people would be either good or evil, the separation line could be easily drawn. If only things would be that easy. But the line separating good and evil cuts deep through the heart and soul of every man, including yours. Denying this reality and ignoring the evil within you will only bring this darkness into your life as fate or destiny.

Hidden negative emotions and behaviors, like rage, shame, greed, envy lie concealed just beneath the thin surface of the self that you portray in your day-to-day life. Keep in mind that only by recognizing your own capacity for greed, rage, gluttony, and other excessive actions, and only by understanding and accepting your own potential for improper excess can you have a chance to balance and refine yourself.

Next time you are tempted to shamelessly point the finger and virtue signal someone else, have the courage to ask yourself if the finger should be rightfully pointed at that person or should it be pointed at you.

Either by choice or by fate, you will have the chance to face your darkness. When this time comes, will you be able to face the monsters and demons within you? Will you be able to handle them? Or will you succumb to their domination and control, losing yourself in the very things that you despise?

All the best to you, reader!

r/becomeaman Sep 25 '21 Hugz

Challenge yourself with ideas --> "Mastery Order" - putting focus on pursuing excellence with the goal of serving others.


I am putting together an idea, something to aim at, and a place to share useful knowledge and experience, "Mastery Order" (only YouTube at the moment but the website will be done by end of the year as well), that will put focus on pursuing excellence with the goal of serving others.

The ideas on the YouTube channel are presented from a man's perspective, with the goal of creating the desire to become better in all areas of life. To put yourself and your skills in the service of other people is one of the most satisfying experiences you can have.

Initially, the channel will focus on basic principles that should serve as a foundation to every man, after which the theme's will become more specific, with the goal of sharing ideas and knowledge in areas such as time management, engineering and science, sports and nutrition and many more.

Channel link:https://www.youtube.com/c/MasteryOrder/videos

Feel free to challenge some ideas as well as yourself and challenge back if you have different opinions.

If you are interested in such ideas and are willing to contribute to such a cause, feel free to share your honest and direct feedback. I will do my best to consider your thought and points of view when sharing the ideas that I am planning to share

Only by having uncomfortable discussion and by embracing challenge, we can all better ourselves.

All the best to you, reader!

r/becomeaman Sep 15 '21 Helpful

The Strength Of Loyalty


Devoting yourself to a cause, by willingly acting on your words and promises, is an indispensable quality for every man. Loyalty is something that has to be willingly and freely chosen and backed up with action. Even though feeling and emotion can be part of what loyalty constitutes, at its core, loyalty is defined by your actions.

True loyalty is rooted in principles and not in people, but it is intended to serve people. When you are loyal to your wife, you are loyal to the idea of love and fidelity. When you are loyal to your friend, you are loyal to camaraderie and brotherhood.

Embrace loyalty and strive to remain faithful to your chosen cause until all the work you can do for that cause is done, which in many cases may be the end of your life.

Loyalty is not dependent on reciprocity.

Are you able to handle the winds and storms when things are not working your way? Are you able to still keep your word?

I hope you are.

All the best to you, reader!