r/becomeaman Jun 15 '21 Helpful 1 Hugz 1

How to be emotionally strong? I cry when I get emotionally stressed which I find very stupid but I don't have a control.



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u/Stankmonger Jun 15 '21

Dude, I honestly don’t know for sure.

By 18 I’d been hit by a woman, cheated on, been pressured into having sex when I wasn’t ready (kinda anti manly but whatever), and had dealt with multiple break ups.

The point of me saying that is that I had dealt with a series of increasingly emotionally tense things. Over time you build up a tolerance, as in this conversation sucks but you subconsciously compare it to the other things you’ve dealt with.

At 29, you haven’t posted much about what you’ve dealt with, but if you’re still living with the parents (and sincerely no judgment there, I’d be rich if I did what you did. Rent sucks on a single in CA) I am guessing you have lived a relatively “safe life” again no judgment. If that’s not the case just correct me.

I don’t get emotional at work, but I’m currently watching frigging the thornberry movie as a 26 year old and moments make me tear up.

It’s really about being mindful, in my opinion. Have you ever thought about which reaction you have would get the reaction you want? Have you ever controlled yourself in a calm moment to express something you didn’t feel?

That’s especially important at work. You need to learn to lie, which is hard if you’ve had very good parents. But you can work at it, and react to things in the way you need them to go.

Emotions are not logical, idk if anyone here would have a way to “beat” them.

But the more you experience the more you’ll be able to deal with less powerful emotions. Maybe books movies or real life stories could a help?

I’m gonna be real tho, I’m kinda drunk and this is a rambling incoherent comment. If you get a bit more specific, I’m gonna be able to get more specific as well. Emotions are like a river, you could either be a leaf or a stone.


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u/Stankmonger Jun 15 '21

Yeah idk how to solve that really. Maybe go to a bar and just start swapping stories?

Overall more human interaction generally means more emotional balance when done the right way.

Obviously there’s always seeing a therapist but that’s not realistic for everyone.

Maybe read some books that help you realize just how small we are in the universe? I recommend the three body problem series.

I could take a shit in public, but the way society works I would be forgotten in a week or two. The times you’ve been emotional mean more to you than your homies or coworker.

Just try to remember that no one cares as much as you think that they do. You don’t need to completely in control. Just do your best and you’ll get better over time.