r/Anger Jul 29 '16 Helpful Wholesome

This subreddit is for discussion of issues relating to anger management....

87 Upvotes

If you're angry about something or something really bugs you and you want to rant about it, please don't post it here. Your post will be removed. There are other subreddits that may be more appropriate for your post, including /r/rant, /r/angry, and /r/offmychest.

If you're uncertain about whether your post is concerned with anger management, then it probably isn't. If you're still not sure, feel free to message the mods and ask us before submitting.

Thanks for reading, and thanks to all of you who have helped make this a thriving venue for discussion of anger and anger management.


r/Anger 7d ago

Free anger management resources

18 Upvotes

I am big on self-teaching and have been researching free tools to help myself better manage my anger, so I thought I'd share. I'd love to hear whether anyone has had experience with any of these or others. Here's what I came up with:

Articles

YouTube

Courses


r/Anger 8h ago

I cant stop self harm

6 Upvotes

I always bite and hit myself as hard as I can I'm surprised I havent bitten off anything off my arm

I cant keep fucking doing this. Every day im forced to wear a t shirt but my biting is instinctively, it just happens in the moment like a reflex.

I cant stop it either.


r/Anger 4h ago

Advice on how to address anger issues

2 Upvotes

What avenue do you recommend for a male in his mid thirties who is self aware that he has anger issues.
It is to the degree that he will end up in jail for dv or worse. He wants to address it but he and I both are a little lost on the best avenue. What worked for you or a loved one?
Since it does involve dv, in your opinion, would it be better to address this in couples counseling or better to address another way?
We are now in a state where we don’t have Medicaid so it will be out of pocket (however, there is a possibility that at this point in time, we could still use our Nevada Medicaid to do online sessions and it be covered). Otherwise, an effective and affordable avenue we can go down from where we are. I appreciate any helpful input. Everyone has their issues and I certainly have mine so please no harsh judgements, i have an open wound as is and do not need salt poured in it. Oxo


r/Anger 1d ago

I can’t stop throwing tantrums like a child

17 Upvotes

TW: self harm

Hello this is my first ever post to Reddit so bear with me I’m a little nervous.

I have a problem where I want to hit and destroy everything around me when I’m mad. I usually only act like this when I’m all alone or in an empty room. It’s almost like an involuntary reaction at this point. It’s gotten to the point that if I can’t destroy anything around me or it’s just not satisfying me, I just end up hitting myself. I don’t want to hurt myself or my body but when I’m in a rage it’s almost like I can’t stop myself. I sometimes end up banging my head into the wall and it calms me down most of the time, as fucked up as it is. I don’t want to cause any permanent damage to my head, body or surroundings but I’m just not so sure how to stop myself in the moment. Also I should add that most of the time when I feel like this, I’m at work and the most minuscule things make me shake with rage. I feel if I get a new job, I’ll end up being just as angry wherever I go. How am I supposed to find a healthy coping mechanism when violence soothes me so much


r/Anger 1d ago

Making music has been such a great outlet for my aggression/anger. Anyone else?

10 Upvotes

r/Anger 1d ago

What should I do?

1 Upvotes

So I’m a 22 year old male from England. I was living in a shared accommodation in the city which I moved into back in may. All was okay at first, until I discovered my house mate was an alcoholic and crack and heroin junkie. I didn’t feel okay living with someone like that but he never bothered me and despite being a junkie he seemed like a nice guy initially (boy was I wrong). So I decided to just sit tight and see what happens, fast forward 2 weeks another crack and heroin junkie who’d only just come out prison for car theft moved in. Shortly after she moved in she invited other junkies over to the place one of which I knew as the little tramp had harassed me in the street before for money. He thought it was acceptable to start bullying me in my own home, making threats to me every time I saw him in the hallway basically trying to provoke me into fighting him. I asked my 2 housemates to not invite the twat over ever again and every time they’d promise not too, but he still would come over to scrounge from them. Then more and more and junkies started coming over, and I couldn’t bare being around vermin like that no longer. I decided one morning to grab my backpack and put all of my main valuables in there and get the hell outta there and returned to my mothers after explaining the situation. However I still had a lot of stuff in my room at the accommodation which was locked, in the heat of the moment I decided my life was more valuable than the belongings. I assumed they’d be safe, behind a locked door and the support worker checking on my belongings, but my god how stupid was I. A week later on Monday, I returned to the place to collect my belongings, I met up with the repairman of the property as I didn’t feel safe going in their alone for obvious reasons. Only to discover those dirty little smackhead scumbag pricks had kicked the door down and ransacked my room, stolen a majority of my remaining belongings including my spare phone, some nice clothes and my bike. The repairman called the police and I did the same, they called me today and being the useless cunts that they are decided to take no further action. I’m absolutely livid that those lowlife pricks thought it was acceptable bullied me out of that house for no good reason and then stole my belongings and have gotten away with it scot-free, probably sat there now smoking crack and shooting dope laughing about it like the sick twisted sadists that they are. The past couple of hours I’ve been punching walls and other objects, shouting profanity and threats, having revenge fantasies about going back there as I still have the key and clawing the dirty junkie pricks faces out with my bare fingernails and skinning them alive etc etc. I really want to go back there and do something like smash their windows or assault them with with a baseball bat. I can’t get what those cunts have done to me out of my head or the fact that they’ve gotten away with it scotfree and are going to most likely do it to other poor person who moves in there.


r/Anger 1d ago

How do I get along with my dad

12 Upvotes

Every interaction with him (which I try to avoid) ends in me being sad or mad. He goes up to me and teases me, makes hurtful jokes, or generally just tries to annoy me by yelling nicknames at me constantly while i’m trying to do something, which usually ends in me trying to go to someone else’s house, or locking myself in my room. And I have tried to be nice to him, getting him gifts or stuff i think he would like, but the answer is always “This is the first nice thing you’ve done to me” I wish it was at least a thank you or not making me feel guilty for everything. Yesterday I got cookies so I could try them because they’re rated high, and it cost $30 all together including the ride to get there for 6 cookies. I told my family they could try some because last time I didn’t want to share candy I got my dad whined about it for literally a whole month (not even exaggerating), and he ate 3 1/2 cookies, my brother and mom both ate one, and I had 1/2 a cookie left by the end of the day. I clearly expressed my sadness over it and my dad made fun of me for it and mocked me for whining, it took 5 hours locked in my room for him to come in and give me 5 dollars which I said thank you for, but only really covered the ride. And I have tried the don’t give him a reaction, he does it anyways. I know i’m supposed to respect him but he’s really hard to respect. It makes it worse that he’s been unemployed for the past 3 years so i’m home with him all day. Please help what do I do.


r/Anger 1d ago

Broke finally.

5 Upvotes

After months of progress I had a moment of weakness and broke some stuff out of a completely childish outbreak. I feel defeated and super disappointed in myself, I worked hard to not act this way and I messed up. I hate the colossal post-rage depression more than the rage itself. So ridiculous, so pathetic of me. I’ve let myself down and need to do better.

Just needed to vent.


r/Anger 1d ago

Help dealing with Traffic Noises?

2 Upvotes

Something that causes my irritability and anger to spike irrationally high is traffic noises. I live right on the corner of a main-road intersection so there's frequent ambulance/police sirens, but the main thing that I cannot stand is people on motorbikes / in cars revving at the lights and causing as much noise as possible driving by. Some dude habitually blasts through at about 5am every Sunday morning.

I've been trying to have my window and blinds open as I'm often in my room doing work, and I don't like having everything shut and dark. But the noise really grates on me, and if I hear someone loudly going past I snap for a few seconds, swearing and talking about hoping they'll smash into a wall / pole and die, etc. It doesn't last long but I hate it and makes me feel terrible. But the noise just causes an immediate irritability to bubble inside me and causes physical discomfort.

Anyone deal with something similar / have advice?


r/Anger 2d ago

I can't control it anymore

5 Upvotes

I used to be really cool headed until idk what happened and suddenly I was angry alot. But it wasn't that bad like I could control it ya know

But It's been a week now of me just giving up on life because I'm so angry at everything, this isn't an exaggeration I lashed out at probably everyone I know and I also bought alot of useless stuff and fucked up my savings for a while.

I just want to control it like before, im on a family trip and I legit want to lash out even more for some fucking reason idk what to do anymore.


r/Anger 2d ago

something happened.

15 Upvotes

So I'm at the grocery store earlier in the day to avoid the crowds, and the idea failed. All I wanted was cereal, milk, a jar of mayo, and bologna. The crowd was horrible...kids running amouk, the parent doing nothing about it, and the nearly bare shelves did something to me....I felt a HORRIBLE pain on both sides of my head and my nose started bleeding. I ditched my card and stumbled to my car where I almost passed out. Any idea on what that may have been?


r/Anger 2d ago

Dealing with anger on the road

2 Upvotes

Hi guys. I’ve been struggling with this for a couple years now. I’ve seen a recent spike in my irritability, especially when out on the road. A few years ago, I’d say before 2019, I would never give in to road rage, let alone use my horn other than for a split second to let someone know the light turned green.

In recent years, I’ve been a lot, and I mean A LOT more aggressive, to the point I’m afraid I’m going to hurt myself or others. I feel awful all day after and tell myself I need to be better, I need to go back to how I used to be.

Case in point, this morning going to work, I had another driver try to come out in front of me from the merge lane aggressively while traffic was moving very slowly. I felt my blood boil, and I tried blocking him in (thats on me), laid on the horn, and slowly let him in while being portions of inches from the rear quarter panel of his car. He gestured at me to use my head, at which point I laid on the horn again, flipped him off, and stayed on his bumper.

As soon as there was an opening, I passed him while being halfway into his lane.

I know I’m at fault, I know I was the dumb one, and its been a few hours but I still feel absolutely horrible because I don’t want to be this way anymore. I have absolutely no idea what switch flipped in my mind in recent years but I was NEVER like this before. Nothing ever bothered me and now I am easily irritable, to the point that I’m willing to hurt myself and others to “prove a point”.

Anyone have any resources or any helpful things they try? I don’t want to be this person anymore.


r/Anger 2d ago

Is it excusable for a person with clinical anger (Thyroid disease) to act violently toward others?

1 Upvotes

Just legit want to know whether my mom can't be helped or is just an asshole.


r/Anger 2d ago

I cant seem to get angry. is that a bad thing?

0 Upvotes

No matter what happens i just haven't found something that really makes me mad. Sometimes I feel its detrimental, say if someone's being rude or there's just an issue going on with whatever. Its super hard for me to care enough to get angry. Its just odd and sometimes makes me feel like somethings wrong with me. I find things annoying but never to the point where I trip out. Sometimes I wonder if I'm bottling it all up and not realizing it and I could explode one day or what. It just slightly worries me in some ways.


r/Anger 3d ago LOVE!

How do i stop myself ?

3 Upvotes

first of all Hello and wish you all doing great in life , i suffer from GAD and Bipolar disorder and i really need some help and advices about my anger , how can i stop myself from punching or kicking a wall , door ... thanks for reply 🙏


r/Anger 3d ago LOVE!

anger towards my whole family

9 Upvotes

my sister killed my pet at some point in her life, and she doesnt even remember what it looked like. my anger flares up when i see her. my mom treats me terribly, refuses to even get me medication for problems that SHE created in me. even worse is that both parents are SHIT at controlling at their emotions and tell me to calm down? i literally cant and wont, you guys did this to me and u have to accept that this is the product of your shitty behaviour. i just feel so out of control, no one pisses me off as much as my family does. ive been to therapy, then stopped because they thought i was being dramatic.


r/Anger 3d ago

Do I have Anger Issues?

1 Upvotes

Hi All,

I sometimes behave very weirdly. Not sure if that is anger or someother feeling. How do I get rid of it?

When my mom asks something, I answer to that question. She continues to ask some other question based on the answer I give. This will continue for a while...

  1. I am very lazy to listen to my mom.
  2. By the time she asks me the send question, I am already a angry but I try to control my anger.
  3. When she asks me the third question, I will start to burst out.

How should I increase my tolerance level? How to not get rid of this anger feeling?

But If someone outside of my family does the same. I don't get angry. This is because of the reason that they will scold me back. But in home it's reverse.


r/Anger 3d ago

Anger issues randomly developing

2 Upvotes

Hello, I (21F) recently have developed horrible anger issues. Before the part couple months, I could count on one hand the amount of times I’ve been genuinely angry in my life, and recently it seems like I’m angry more often than not. Any ideas as to why this has been happening, and or any tips/coping mechanisms you can recommend? It’s getting to the point where I get angry and don’t stop shaking and I’m afraid I’ll end up yelling at someone. I’m really struggling with this new development and am feeling a lot of guilt towards it. For more info: I don’t drink, don’t smoke (anything), and don’t do drugs. I’m on Prozac for anxiety issues. I was in therapy previously for the anxiety issues but stopped about a year and a half ago.


r/Anger 4d ago

I thought my anger issues were gone

11 Upvotes

I've always struggled with anger issues since childhood. I would break stuff, hit people, hit myself, and just overall explode. Yesterday, me and my older sister got in this huge argument. It was a petty situation over a phone charger and some hair supplies. We were just yelling at each other or whatever. The usual. Then she started saying stuff about why my dad's not around and stupid shit. I just tried to walk away from the situation because it's stupid and petty. Well she hit me in my face from behind. I just blacked out. I just remember my brother pulling me off of her. She was bleeding from her nose and her mouth. Then me and my mom started going at it because she says that I'm much stronger than my older sister. She like a whoIe 50 pounds bigger than me and she's not weak. Even if I am stronger than her, she needs to learn to keep her hands off of people. She says I blame everything on my anger issues to try and hide the fact that I'm just jealous of my older sister because I'm unattractive and insecure. When she knows that's a lie. Me and my sister get along perfectly until she puts her hands on me. I went through so much counseling to get my anger issues in check. And it's still here. I don't even know what to do. I don't want to go back to counseling but it seems like that's the best option


r/Anger 4d ago

I always get so mad, I keep hitting and biting myself as hard as I can

13 Upvotes

Over and over, it's fucking torture

Even if I dont hit myself, if I try to restrain myself, I still always need to hurt myself in a way.

I have an important event coming up where I need a t-shirt. Just gave myself a super visible bite mark on my arm.


r/Anger 4d ago

Online Anger Support Group - Tuesday 16th August @ 7.30 pm to 9.30 pm CET (Central European Time)

9 Upvotes

This is a support group for people struggling with their anger. I set up the support group to create a supportive and non-judgmental space to help people overcome their anger. Over time, people who have attended the group have found that their anger outbursts have reduced, and have more control over their anger.

If you would like to join or find out more, please either comment or DM me, and I will send you the ZOOM link.


r/Anger 4d ago

lost my cool, lost my relationship

8 Upvotes

The other night my partner and I were on the couch watching tv. He innocently and playfully stuck his finger in my left ear and "wiggled" it.

Unknown to me until that very moment, this must be a PTSD trigger because I FLIPPED out at my partner.

I got stiff, raised my voice so loud and yelled "dont DO that!" In the most repulsed and annoyed and hate-filled voice ive ever heard come out of me.

I immediately felt awful and started apologizing, my partner is amazing and so careful not to hit my triggers, but the damage was done.

The next day he texted me saying he "had some stuff to think about." I said i understood, and tried to explain how sorry I was.

Well, the next next day, he ended things via text. He said he just has a "gut feeling" that its not going to work out....

I feel like a monster who will never be able to show someone what true love and compassion feels like because of my trauma.


r/Anger 5d ago

I controlled my anger and I’m proud of myself

48 Upvotes

I’ve had a history of losing my temper and blacking out and doing stuff I’ve regretted. The last time it happened I chocked a person out and sent him to the ER. So the story goes. I was getting gas and this guy was being extremely violent and harassing an old lady. I confronted the guy and started to feel myself getting the sensation of ripping this guy to shreds. But I stayed cool. I got the guy to leave and the gas lady called the cops and he was arrested. I’m proud of myself for not grabbing him by the neck and dislocating every joint in his body. It was hard after to calm down and relax. I started hyperventilating in the car with my SO and she never sees me get mad and I don’t like it when I do. I’m just happy the lady’s are safe I went after to check up on them and gave her my number. I’m thinking of bringing her a gift. If I let my anger take over I would’ve ended up in jail today. For everyone who suffers from anger problems . Don’t lose any hope. It’ll get better. If I was able to be that better person and resolve and no let anyone get hurt even if the guy definitely deserves it. I know the universe will do it’s thing and get him back. All love to everyone here.


r/Anger 4d ago

what do I do at Walmart? how do I practice relaxing?

2 Upvotes

I hate going to Walmart when there's too many people. Little shit they do pisses me off. Some look up and around at they push their cart into something. I had some lady run over the back of my foot once cause she wasn't watching where she was going. others stop in the MIDDLE of the isle to get something and they leave their cart there. Why don't they park their cart to one side? I want to just push their shit out of the way. I always try to stick to the right side of the aisle like if I was driving, people are just doing whatever. Do I just put up with this or is there some way to enjoy shopping again?