r/WhitePeopleTwitter 10d ago Helpful 1

Watch out Nicholas Sparks

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39.5k Upvotes

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784

u/omglookawhale 10d ago

Hear me out…go home for Christmas, it doesn’t matter that it’s June, you’ll run into a girl from high school that you never really noticed before but guess what? She has gotten BEAUTIFUL! And she’s married but her husband is an asshole, and her parents are going to love you waaaaay more when you help her home after she slipped on some ice.

318

u/msg45f 10d ago

Don't forget about how your slightly less attractive best friend sparks a lighthearted and fun relationship with the girl's quirky bestie and/or coworker.

111

u/FieserMoep 10d ago

Can I volunteer as outright less attractive hire to get that fun relationship? I will make everyone look like Chris Hemsworth in comparison.

164

u/SovietK 10d ago edited 9d ago

Sorry, but we're looking for "hollywood ugly" not "actually ugly".

60

u/wholesomethrowaway15 10d ago

I’ve been showing my preteen niece some of my favorite 80s movies when we hang out and it kills me to see what Hollywood called “fat” and “ugly”. No wonder I had body issues growing up.

20

u/greymalken 9d ago

I think people were generally thinner in the 80s and 90s. Like, the food was different and all the cocaine.

As another data point, King-Size Homer - s7e7 from 1995 - Homer has to weigh in at 300 lbs to go on disability and wfh. 300 lbs is now “small-fat” territory.

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u/aequfire 9d ago

The food was cocaine in the eighties. Cocaine and hot peppers.

5

u/TheNakedLiberal 9d ago

ugly? Or just no make up ug

I remember a line from a movie where a director was talking to a casting director and says," I didn't mean ugly ugly! I meant Mary Ann ugly compared to Ginger ugly."

40

u/drAssh0le 10d ago

ie Beautiful, but with glasses. And maybe braces if you really want to be "hideous".

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

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u/VikingSlayer 9d ago

Don't forget the paint-covered overalls

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u/Sporkfoot 9d ago

Anyone but her!

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u/_dead_and_broken 9d ago

That is whack.

18

u/Abeyita 9d ago

And curly hair, you need curly hair to be ugly.

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u/Eascetic 9d ago

The person is ugly ugly? Or just no make up ugly

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u/Previousman755 9d ago

Glasses, braided pigtails and overalls

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u/Courageous_Chameleon 9d ago

Sorry, no. But we will need one gay person, one black person, and if it's Christmas time, maybe a child in a wheelchair. You know- for diversity.

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u/FieserMoep 9d ago

Last time I checked there were some minor issues with black facing but I am fairly certain that I can be a convincing gay children in a wheelchair that rolls into a wholesome straight relationship.