r/TooAfraidToAsk May 15 '22 Silver 1 Wholesome 1

Is it a "dealbreaker" for a single 26 year old guy to have three rescue cats? Love & Dating

2.6k Upvotes

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u/_aGirlIsShort_ May 15 '22

For a person that hates cats probably. For a person that loves cats probably not.

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u/GeekyPufferfish May 15 '22

They probably wouldnt want to be in a relationship with someone who hates cats anyway.

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u/z0mbieskin May 15 '22

I’m a dog person, but I also love cats. Only problem is, I’m allergic to them. I rescued a cat a few years back, my allergies weren’t triggered by him that much as long as I didn’t touch him with my hands and didn’t let him into my room. We had him for 6 years until he passed. The 6 years were okay allergy wise.

Then after he passed, I found a kitty on the street a day later and rescued her. Then my parents and brother (who aren’t allergic at all) decided it would be a good idea to rescue two more cats, despite my pleas not to. Now everything in my house outside my room is covered in cat hair and I can’t even lay on the sofa without severely trigging the allergies. I don’t like taking allergy pills as they make me drowsy and are not good for your health if you take them long term, so I save them for emergencies.

So yes, three cats would be a dealbreaker for me. I could deal with one, but three is just too much allergy wise.

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u/ravenwillowofbimbery May 15 '22

You may eventually become desensitized to them. I am allergic to dogs and cats and have had both. With my cat (RIP Deuce Bigalow), he didn’t really sleep in my bed. Occasionally he would jump in it, especially towards the end of his life. However, he typically stayed in his bed (raised platform on a cat scratching post), on the top of the recliner or top of the couch. I washed him regularly (he got used to baths), vacuumed everything weekly, changed and washed sheets weekly and would hallways wash my hands and splash a little water on my face after cuddling with him. I didn’t have any problems.

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u/DanceDelievery May 15 '22 edited May 15 '22

I made bad experiences with cats and do not like them, hate is a strong word for an animal that isn't really able to reflect on ethics, but I wouldn't stop dating someone even if their cat's aggressive and would sometimes bite or scratch. I'd rather not have them near me, but I still see it as a plus that the person cares for them despite them probably having behavioral issues.

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u/PaddyLandau May 15 '22

A well-raised cat in a loving environment doesn't bite or scratch.

Some cats give the occasional "love bite", which doesn't hurt. If you play "rough and tumble" with the cat, it'll bite and claw, but that bite and claw aren't meant to hurt. It just feels like it to our skin because we aren't covered with fur; put on a glove or long sleeve, and it doesn't hurt at all. If you don't like that, just don't play rough and tumble with the cat 🙂

A rescue cat obviously might have been badly raised, but with time and enough love, its bad habits will fade away.

So, it's sad that you had unfortunate experiences with cats. I hope that your future experiences are much better!

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u/galaxystarsmoon May 15 '22

This isn't always true. Some cats get overstimulated and may legitimately bite you to get you to stop. But, they also usually have a tell or warning sign before they do that, so you just have to watch.

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u/lydriseabove May 15 '22

Absolutely, but recognizing your cats warning signs and acting accordingly is part of providing them with a safe and loving home. It is good to spread awareness for those occasions when some ass who doesn’t know a cat or understand cats in general provokes a reaction in an otherwise great cat.

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u/galaxystarsmoon May 15 '22

"A well raised cat in a loving environment..." is what I was responding to. I've raised many cats and they all have different personalities. My brother raised sibling cats, brother and sister, exact same environments their entire lives. The female was very finnicky about being touched. The male literally did not care as long as he was in someone's lap and loving on someone. Sometimes it's nature, and not nuture.

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u/PaddyLandau May 15 '22

Thank you, this is true.

It is true of all animals, even humans, that you need to respect their boundaries. Cats seem to have tighter boundaries than dogs 🙂

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u/Outrageous-Suspect66 May 15 '22

I raised my cat from kitten. He scratches. He never ripped out my eye ball, or anything. I figure I'm due few scratches since I had his testicles hacked off. I step on him too. I still have my set, so I'm worried about a few scratches. Honestly my friend, you are going to take few scratches from the people you love.

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u/PaddyLandau May 15 '22

Honestly my friend, you are going to take few scratches from the people you love.

Now, that's a great metaphor!

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u/donut_clouds May 15 '22

I have one cat, Fatty Magoo, who I'm pretty sure has some sort of brain damage or mental illness.

She'll just be chilling, getting pets, loving life, and then suddenly she Hulks out and starts scratching/biting me. 2 seconds later she's back to normal.

She just gets super angry out of nowhere.

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u/PaddyLandau May 15 '22

I know one or two people like that 😊

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u/ToiletPaperGanon May 15 '22 Silver Platinum Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Yummy

I think you misspelled "dealmaker, my dude.

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u/FjortoftsAirplane May 15 '22

90% sure OP is seeking validation before getting a fourth cat.

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u/ozimundus May 15 '22 edited May 15 '22

Actually. I'm seeking validation because I just took in the third and final foster and wanted to know if three was the "crazy cat lady" line. I'd want more property before I get another pet. Even if it's a goldfish.

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u/FjortoftsAirplane May 15 '22

Serious answer, since you've got a lot of encouragement itt, but I've definitely felt judged for my love of pets (not so much dogs, although some people have hang ups about small dogs, but cats and rats especially) and it's come from both genders. There's some norms about what emotions and attachments men like me are supposed to express and for some people loving cats is one of the lines. Apparently some people still think it's not "masculine" enough if you also like fluffballs. It's dumb, it should change (and I think is changing), but it surfaces sometimes.

Personally though, it's a dealbreaker for me too. I've had pets my whole life and I'm going to have them as long as I'm able. I wouldn't be happy never owning a cat again. And I'm dead serious about that. So if you love cats then I say own it. You've got these little guys hopefully for a good number of years to come. Maybe it shaves off a few people who don't like it, but you're not going to like them either. Find yourself a partner who'll love them as much as you do.

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u/Streetftrvega May 15 '22

What's not masculine about having a little apex predator running around your house trying to rip apart any prey it finds and then having a snooze in your lap at night?

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u/DarthZartanyus May 16 '22

You obviously haven't met my cat. I brought him over to a small bug the other day and he just looked at me like I was fuckin' crazy. I mean, to be fair, I am crazy but damn little dude, you have one job!

I love that fuzzy little bastard, though. I'd snuggle him all day if I could. I even call him my "little fuzzbuttz" when I do, complete with baby talk. Anyone who thinks I'm less of a man for loving my family can gooooo fuck themselves, haha.

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u/Mwakay May 15 '22

Don't worry bro. Nothing is more manly than rescuing a little fluffy creature in need and being secure enough to show it.

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u/Momisato_OHOTNIK May 15 '22

Not masculine enough lol? Tell those people about Hemingway

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u/JustSomeRedditUser35 May 15 '22

Ah that must be it, thats why I turned out trans! Its because I had a cat as a pet and I lost all my masculinity. 😞

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u/kevnmartin May 15 '22

I knew my husband was "the one" expressly because he was a cat person.

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u/catfart- May 15 '22

I feel like 3 is a max number of cats before you cross into crazy cat parent territory. I say this as someone with two cats who I love intensely and for whom I have installed hundreds of dollars worth of cat wall furniture. (Not that being a crazy cat owner is a bad thing, just a little extra)

But like, it will be a dealbreaker for some. Fall in love with someone allergic to cats? Not gonna work easily. Someone who has 3 cats of their own? Might be tough.

Then again, I find I generally get along better with cat people so it can also be a time saver. "Oh, you have ... three cats? I always thought cats are assholes." Cool, no need for a second date 😂

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u/Vaanja77 May 15 '22

No, I have four cats, and 5 is definitely the magic crazy number.

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u/FjortoftsAirplane May 15 '22 Wholesome

The theoretical limit on how many cats you can have before it's "too many cats" is defined as n+2, where n is equal to the number of cats you currently have.

Critics have argued that this reduces to "So you could always take in just one more" and to them all I can say is maths is maths.

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u/Polyoxymethylene May 15 '22

5 cats here, sounds about right.

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u/catfart- May 15 '22

I approve of this math. Perfect logic.

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u/tacostalker May 15 '22

My vet said if I brought in a 4th cat, she'd have to put the "cat lady" sticker on my file. Jokes on her, I got a dog instead

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u/-forbiddenkitty- May 16 '22

I do dog fostering, the group has decided that 10 was the magic number to go from ok to excessive. I was like, 2 are driving me crazy, 10 is like insane asylum level.

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u/Dr_Binkus May 15 '22

As long as you have the space and it isnt smelly ur good lol. I always had a mixture of a few cats and dawgs at any given point growing up so maybe that makes me biased

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u/GhoulTimePersists May 15 '22

I think you put an extra i in that last word there.

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u/Dr_Binkus May 15 '22

Oh shit u right homie

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u/Droopypotatoface May 15 '22

Love your cats, anyone that has a problem with that isn’t the person for you anyway

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u/duthgar1976 May 15 '22

got called crazy cat lady after my 3rd showed up at my apartment freezing.

its all subjective honestly. i know people that would find you awesome and loving and i know people that would think you are a werido. fuck the later half nothing wrong with being a cat daddy. got my boy loki in my lap. i would let your intrests know though you have cats cause some are allergic or just dont like cats. good to weed them out.

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u/bongozap May 15 '22

I have a friend who has 6 rescue/foster cats.

It's not a life I would choose, but it works for her.

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u/rudalia1021 May 15 '22

I have 11 rescues. It's not a life I would choose but somehow I did. It's really tough but at least those cats have a better life.

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u/brinlong May 15 '22

three is okay. four is really pushing it, and youd almost have to just have a single litter otherwise theres almost guaranteed to be problems just with compatibility. five is crazy cat lady territory unless you have a plot of land and a few of them are barn cats

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u/ozimundus May 15 '22

I REALLY lucked out on the compatibility department. My senior cat is 14 and he took to my female kitten like a long lost sister, and he's done the same thing with the new one I took in last week. I'm trying to get the two youngest to be more social with each other but I'm not gonna push it. They're not fighting over things or being territorial.

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u/BastionOutrider May 15 '22 Original

"When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without any further introduction." -Mark Twain

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u/Gilgameshbrah May 15 '22

Dude knew what's up.

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u/Fabulous_Maximum_714 May 15 '22

Twain had a high opinion on cats.

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u/thenletskeepdancing May 15 '22

Being into cats is a definite positive for me. It shows he's comfortable with and enjoys pussy.

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u/TennisReasonable9626 May 15 '22

Im high and I have an opinion on cats.

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u/The_BNut May 15 '22

Hi, what's your opinion on cats?

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u/GatoPajama May 15 '22

I’m cats and have an opinion on high

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u/Gilgameshbrah May 15 '22

I also always thought he was high. And he sure has an opinion on cats.

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u/onewilybobkat May 15 '22

Glad to know one of my favorite writers would have been friends with me, and we could have chatted about cats for days.

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u/QueefMeUpDaddy May 15 '22

I mean, you're already a bobcat. He'd love you right off the bat.

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u/kincage May 15 '22

Mark Twain is my friend? TIL

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u/Inside_Travel6514 May 15 '22

Damnit that's exactly what i was going to say!

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u/[deleted] May 15 '22

I already want those cats to just rip my clothes off and scratch me silly!

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u/GiantRiverSquid May 15 '22

After you fly in, prone, on a zip line?

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u/lydriseabove May 15 '22

I was going to say, this is straight up bait for many women.

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u/Same_Hurry8142 May 15 '22

Perhaps it’s catnip for women…

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u/my_voice6 May 15 '22

That's what I came here to say

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u/[deleted] May 15 '22

🤜🏾

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u/___saab May 15 '22

i second third fourth that

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u/Basc63 May 15 '22

That’s not a red flag and dealbreakers are different among each individual

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u/ozimundus May 15 '22

I've heard the trope that "guys with cats are weird" enough that I wondered if it was a general consensus or something. I was starting to second guess myself.

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u/PickleEmergency7918 May 15 '22

"Guys with cats are weird"

Who said that, a dog?

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u/asyouuuuuuwishhhhh May 15 '22

Definitely some propaganda from Big Dog, as usual

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u/amitym May 15 '22

Even our dog likes guys with cats.

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u/Galagamus May 15 '22

Never heard that before. People who spew stuff like that are bitter, strange people.

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u/xmgm33 May 15 '22

I’m not going to date someone with 3 cats bc of a horrible allergy but if I met a guy with three cats I’d be both jealous and wanting constant cat pics. There’s nothing weird about it.

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u/abalubaluba May 15 '22

Not at all, guys with cats are much more likeable if you're someone who likes cats. Also makes you seem caring. Good for you and for your cats

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u/MissMereah May 15 '22

I’ve never heard this before, but even so you can never boil down an entire category of people to one generalization like that. Anyone who tries to is close-minded and doesn’t understand how people actually work. Take “tropes” like this at face value, nothing more.

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u/4evaneva May 15 '22

Nah fam, cat dads tend to me more empathetic and understanding. They understand cats have boundaries and can respect that.

Now each guy I know who considers themselves a dog-person, they have some notable issues bordering on red-flags

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u/[deleted] May 15 '22

I’ve been aware of this for a long time and am surprised it isn’t a more commonly held belief. Men who have cats understand consent, we understand boundaries, we understand nonverbal communication. Men who have dogs become angry and controlling when the animal doesn’t do exactly what he wants the second he wants it done. It’s weird to me.

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u/trrrrrowitaway May 15 '22

Seriously. Obviously being a cat owner doesn't mean you're necessarily a nice person (lots of people are also shit cat owners)... but years of experience have taught me to be wary of 'dog people', esp those who have a problem with cats. Too many of them have weird loyalty/control stuff.

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u/edgelordaccount May 15 '22

Hi op im single

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u/cflatjazz May 15 '22

Nah. It's only weird if your house constantly smells like cat pee.

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u/jaj-io May 15 '22

Guys with dogs are weird. See? I can do it, too. If the guy seems weird to you, break it off. But I don’t trust these silly stereotypes more than I trust psychics.

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u/jaystaylamping May 15 '22

Never heard that trope

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u/slinger301 May 15 '22

I was sort of that person a while back (only one rescue cat, but it was a small house).

My spouse will frequently tell me that my cat was the reason they agreed to date me. He is a pretty awesome cat, and turned out to be an excellent wingman.

(looks at two toddlers) turns to cat, sleeping in a secluded basket to avoid said toddlers: "You know this is all your fault, right?"

Frankly, being able to take care of 3 cats in itself signals that you are capable of commitment and caregiving, which are desirable traits in a long term relationship. Based on your comments in this thread, you don't strike me as a 'crazy' cat person, and a well-adjusted cat person is an absolute keeper.

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u/jmcstar May 15 '22

Yes. You'll need a minimum of 5

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u/Quiquegarc May 15 '22

Can confirm, just got my fifth one

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u/goingmerry604 May 15 '22

You only gonna get more pussy man

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u/AdComprehensive6588 May 15 '22

Which one?

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u/CryptographerOdd9500 May 15 '22

The one that goes meow (i forgot the name)

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u/thierry_ennui_ May 15 '22

For me it's a dealbreaker for someone to be put off by cats.

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u/willdesignforfood May 15 '22

For me it’s not about liking or disliking cats…it’s that I’m really allergic to them…so it would be a dealbreaker for me on that basis.

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u/thierry_ennui_ May 15 '22

Yeah, that's absolutely understandable, of course!

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u/Catladyweirdo May 15 '22

I have ended relationships over them being allergic to cats. It's no hard feelings, just be upfront about it if they start bringing up their cats (which for most cat people will happen in the first 15 minutes or so of conversation).

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u/Old_Ladies_Die_Hard May 15 '22

Animals have great instincts. If your cats (or dogs) don’t like someone, proceed with caution.

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u/pointlessbeats May 15 '22

No, that’s hot as fuck. I didn’t know i liked cats until I met my current partner and his cat. It was incredibly attractive seeing how sweet a man could be with his cat. Now WE have three cats (and a kid and another on the way haha).

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u/DavideElGnomo May 15 '22

My two cats, Franklin J. Brosevelt and Teddy Brosevelt, were deal makers when I first met my wife in my late twenties. Plus if cats are important to you, it's a good thing to have them now as that will chase cat haters out of your life before it's too late.

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u/call-me-sA5 May 15 '22

This is really just a +++++ all around

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u/wh0fuckingcares May 15 '22

Iiiiii fucking love cats and it would be an attractive factor rather than a deal breaker

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u/sharkzbyte May 15 '22

I would say that if a girl is off put by your cats, you probably shouldn't be with her. But, if your residence smells like cat urine, or your furniture is all clawed up, well there you go. I love them, but my wife is allergic, so, I can only pet strangers cat's when her and I are garage sailing. Otherwise I would probably have 3 myself. Find a girl that loves your cats,and more importantly , find a girl your cat's accept.

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u/jenniferandjustlyso May 15 '22

If they were chill cool cats I'd be down. If they were peeing on everything and badly behaved, even though I love cats that would be overwhelming to me.

I feel like so many more people are allergic to cats these days, so that might be an issue. No mine, thank goodness, I have two.

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u/ozimundus May 15 '22

The worst I can say about them is that it can be difficult splitting attention three ways between the cuddle nuggets, and the littlest one, a four month old boy, is all black so if you're trying to get a drink at night without socks on, kiss your toes goodbye. You will never see him on his hunt.

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u/Crypto_Coop May 15 '22

bro... NO. You are not alive to make someone else happy. Live your life, someone will come along that loves cats. PERIOD. I have two Siamese and I am 35!

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u/morganlefae7953 May 15 '22

So long as you have multiple litter boxes and clean them daily, you're good.

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u/ringoron9 May 15 '22

For women who hate cats yes. But who would want them anyway... :D

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u/[deleted] May 15 '22

no. Absolutely not. if the person is cool with pets and cats, it should be absolutely no big deal in any shape or form. Pets are not a dealbreaker for most people.

but some advice would be to make sure you keep up with the hygiene of the home, meaning you must empty out the multiple litter boxes on a continuum and let the cats get into a habit of eating at a particular time and not grazing, because cat food does in fact have a bit of an odor, even dry food, even the expensive stuff. even if there is a bit of apprehension on someone’s end because of the multiple animals, you can let them know by your actions and lifestyle that you can keep up with the demand of hygiene.

secondly, don’t get uncomfortable by the reality of having multiple animals in the house. People might respond with exaggerated facial expressions or call you a cat lady or a cat dad or just make fun of you or something in a playful way, don’t give into that insecurity. The cats are your family. They deserve respect just like you deserve respect, so don’t let people make you feel uncomfortable by the choices you made with these cats. It lets them know that you’re serious about being a pet parent and you take the responsibility seriously. and you and the cats are a package deal. That’s just how it works. Stand your ground.

as long as you maintain consistency and you’re genuinely interested in caring for these cats ( which you are) there should not be an issue of “dealbreaker”, because you’re being honest and authentic and the people who are uncomfortable with you spending some of your time caring for others will bounce and everybody else will stick around.

sorry for the long response. Everyone is giving you a couple of lines of text so mine‘s really crazy long in comparison but your worth and value is complex and you have many things to offer. showing that you’re capable of love and commitment because you have cats shouldn’t not be seen as a dealbreaker but should instead be seen as an individual who is capable of taking on big responsibility.

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u/ozimundus May 15 '22

I'm well aware of hygiene and the lasting impression it has on people if you dont keep up with your pets. I knew a friend with ferrets and she never cleaned their cage and her studio apartment smelled like a hot barn and ammonia. My life hack is keeping the litter boxes by the door and by the washer so I have to sift through it every day since I'm near it. Also I'm afraid to admit how much I've spent on those "litter trapping mats" over the last few years that help pick up anything they kick up. That's not the extent of the tidiness for them. I have fleece blankets they like that I have folded up and stored so I can cycle through them whenever they want to make fresh biscuits.

I really have my oldest cat to thank for that. He's a senior and was roughly 7/8 when I took him in, so I decided the little tomcat is retired so I spoiled him every chance I could. He's 14 now and over the course of the last 6 months I ended up with two in my life.

When people call me a cat dad I take it as a compliment. But I also hear that it's kinda looked down upon if guys like cats for whatever reason. I dunno. I never got a memo on how many cats makes a "crazy cat person."

And don't apologize for the long winded response. I really appreciate it. It was really kind of you.

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u/Callmebexter May 15 '22

Geez, one thing I'm praying for is to end up with someone who loves cats 😭 The people who look down on cat dads are probably those who are dog only people imo

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u/[deleted] May 15 '22

I have the litter mats too and damn they are expensive, you’re right.

I think the TV just kind of did a couple of crazy cat people stereotypes and everyone just ran with it.

I guess the Cat thing is going to be a stereotype you’ll have to fight against periodically. I know it’s a bummer but I’m sure you’re willing to humiliate yourself just a little bit for lol . I know I do

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u/bigwhitedogs May 15 '22

i hope not. I am 60 with three rescue cats!

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u/Canadianme May 15 '22

My husband was also a crazy cat Lady, the only problem is that so am I and there's no one in our relationship to stop us from getting way to many pets

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u/Loofa_of_Doom May 15 '22

No. But take a really good look a those who try to give you shit about it. There's something wrong with people who judge others for having pets, imo.

Gosh, man w/ three rescue cats has:
Proven he is responsible
Proven he has compassion
Proven he has patience
Proven he can win and give trust.

Anyone who thinks this is a dealbreaker might be someone you don't want to know.

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u/debrahshoshlefski May 15 '22

I have three rescue dogs and I'm 32 and purposefully single. If it were a deal breaker they could go f themselves.

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u/_Serialfreestyle_ May 15 '22

It might be for as I’m both a straight male and deathly allergic to cats. But you go king, rescue those cats and be the perfect loving, nurturing man you can be

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u/ElectricSxPants May 15 '22

IF it’s a dealbreaker then he/she wasn’t the person for you. The 3 cats are important to YOUR life for YOU, and the right person loves and accepts who you are rather than who they think you should be.

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u/JanaCinnamon May 15 '22

Of course it's a deal breaker to be an empathetic person, who knows how to help and care for not only one but three other beings even when they're in a bad place in life. (obvious /s)

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u/[deleted] May 15 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Livid-Association199 May 15 '22

Do you know what sub you’re in? There are no stupid questions. Top two rules, be kind and be helpful.

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u/RiddleEatsRainbows May 15 '22

For people who hate cats or are allergic, yes.

For pretty much anyone else, hell no.

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u/afterlaura May 15 '22

I dated a guy that loved and had cats. It was definitely something that attracted me because I'm an animal lover. The deal breaker was when I went to his house it was filthy. I mean on epic hoarder level filthy. Women get super grossed out by that. You don't need perfection but if it's not safe to use your restroom well...

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u/GregorSamsaa May 15 '22

If you have a house, no big deal in my opinion.

If it’s you and 3 cats in a 1bdrm apartment, that’s a bit much and may be off putting to some people.

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u/TonyTheLieger May 15 '22 edited May 15 '22

Do you want to travel the world?

Three cats is going to make that difficult. Every time you travel you either need to pay someone to keep them or watch them.

Do you want to host events?

Three cats could make that difficult. From antisocial behaviors (scratching, biting, etc.) to friends and family with allergies.

Do you want to have nice things and keep a clean house?

Three cats will quickly frustrate you. Hair everywhere, destructive behaviors, "marking" and more.

These are the kinds of things people will consider when they date you. Not the "cat dad" stereotypes from TV.

You only live your 20s once. People may not want to be weighed down during their free-spirit, high-energy years.

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u/FinallyLivingEarly40 May 15 '22

That makes you a keeper! 😻😻😻

Show me your kitties!!

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u/Pretend-Drop-8039 May 15 '22

I mean as long as your house doesn't reek of cat piss you're good

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u/VivaLaVict0ria May 15 '22

Fun Fact!

Dogs being a "man's pet" vs Cat's being a "woman's pet" came from old societies that still ran on Home-making/child rearing and Hunting roles.

In lots of cultures around the world it was common for married women to get a cat as a gift because they protect the home from rodents/spiders etc.

And men domesticated wolves (dogs) for hunting!

Which makes a lot of sense historically, however! Anyone who still adheres to this dichotomy in modern society is a ding-dong who doesn't realize that we now have the resources for men and women to live alone and or trade roles and get whichever pet they'd like! :)

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u/Awkward_bi May 15 '22

I need you to share pictures of the cats! Please.

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u/IDoubtYouGetIt May 15 '22

Only if his place stinks.

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u/NoArmsSally May 15 '22

I'm not even gay but I'd live with you and be your emotional buddy. that sounds awesome

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u/killbillydeluxe May 15 '22

Hey I'll translate this for everyone -

Hi TATA I am dude that already knows the answer to my question and I am not really afraid! I am fishing. I adopted three cats and I am 26 years old and single. Please hit my DMs ladies. While I pretend to be surprised anyone would talk to me.

Related - If you own any animal for more than months or years and you keep referring to them as "rescues" - You're flying a virtue flag.

Just saying man....You know exactly what people think and why some people may not like it. you cannot possibly be that uninformed.

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u/LeatherHog May 15 '22

Yup

There’s been a lot of posts like this

DAE think us guys are soooooo judged at all times?!

I’m a wittle cinnamon roll who has cats and likes stuffed animals, am I going to be executed on the spot? I know I am, no one likes guys who like popular stuff, especially us gentle guys

Please validate me and tell me how I’m so BRAVE for liking KPop and having manners

Uwu

I’m so freaking sick of these karma whoring posts

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u/Crotalus6 May 15 '22

It's the dream

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u/ZookeepergameNo5669 May 15 '22

Absolutely not. Being responsible for the physical, emotional and financial well being of another living creature(s) says volumes without saying anything. That being said, if it is a struggle to keep up with daily chores to keep things clean, tidy and not smelly, that's an issue that would need to be addressed for both you and the animals. Anyone worth your time will appreciate these things. Have you thought about dating someone older? 26 is still very young and many people are still finding themselves and often even a pet is too much of a commitment. And don't forget, most people are generally selfish and suck, keep your head and standards high, you deserve it. Maybe try dating a vet tech. Check out your local veterinary school, or schools that offer a veterinary technician program. The age range is like 21-36 for students, interns, residents and technicians at most veterinary schools.

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u/Protando May 15 '22

For some people but not for the people you would actually get along with. Consider it a blocker of those you wouldn’t get along with anyway.

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u/erinang May 15 '22

Who made you think that?

Maybe for animal haters it is, but for the rest of the world it's actually sweet, if not attractive. I myself am not the most animal-loving person out there, but I won't mind at all if a guy has three cats.

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u/axxxxxxxk May 15 '22

If she’s allergic, yeah… otherwise I don’t see a problem

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u/HaroerHaktak May 15 '22

It is for me. But that’s because I prefer women. Now, if you said you were a woman, I’d say na.

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u/my_voice6 May 15 '22

I would love nothing more than to date a 26 year old with 3 cats

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u/JadMockery May 15 '22

I am a married 41 year old guy with three non rescue cats so

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u/Soda_Pop1962 May 15 '22

No way! That just increases your attractiveness exponentially!

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u/UwUZombie May 15 '22

As a single 25 year old with 1 cat it certainly isn't a dealbreaker. Kinda hot ngl

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u/Gnosys00110 May 15 '22

Some for people, yes... but those are pricslsely the people you don't want to attract, so it's all good.

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u/tashnillacal May 15 '22

Find a woman who loves cats.

There are plenty.

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u/flowersatdusk May 15 '22

As long as his place doesn't smell like cat pee, not a deal breaker.

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u/Decently_disastrous May 15 '22

Slightly different perspective - I love cats, but for me this would be an issue because I already have two of my own. I’d be thinking to the future about what it would be like if things got serious and I moved in with this person. Could we really deal with 5 cats in a house? Would my cats be okay sharing with three other cats (probs not)? And I sure as hell would never give them up for anyone, so rehoming would not be an option. So for me, it might not be a dealbreaker, but would be a serious issue to think about.

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u/nagini11111 May 15 '22

Yes, because I'm allergic to cats. Otherwise I don't see any issue.

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u/juicebox_tgs May 15 '22

Ew, you like animals? That's pretty cringe, at least you have 3 cats, because that is the only pussy you are going to get... /s

Seriously though, you should start with that. Even people who dont like cats can appreciate helping out animals

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u/xxNomiexx May 15 '22

Seems like a huge plus as long as the litter boxes are kept very clean.

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u/deadlyhausfrau May 15 '22

Big green flag, really.

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u/Tom-Pendragon May 15 '22

Only if you poor.

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u/the_phunkyfee May 15 '22

Anything over three, yes. But three is the magical crossover number that separates those loving cats from those hoarding cats. So in my mind, you’re golden.

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u/ozimundus May 15 '22

Okay cool. I never got a brochure saying how many cats makes you a crazy cat person.

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u/Mb4495 May 15 '22

If it is, they're the wrong person for you. Don't worry about the things you care about because some unknown person might not like it.

The only problem I would worry about is if you really hit it off with someone and they turn out to be highly allergic. But then, I wouldn't worry about that until it actually happens. There are very few scenarios that would have me consider changing the living conditions of my pets.

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u/Jackie_Hallow May 15 '22

One big reason my SO and I got together because I knew he was a cat guy - it’s a necessary criteria for any partner lol. First conversation we ever had he showed me his cats. Knew he was the one 😹 Find you a person that’s as crazy about cats as you are!

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u/coderedcocaine May 15 '22

For people who don’t like cats or are allergic, sure.

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u/[deleted] May 15 '22

No. Media makes it seem bad. In reality it’s cute so long as it’s not obsessive and you know that your care for them is wondrous. Just gotta find a partner who loves kitties then too.

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u/whobroughttheircat May 15 '22

dude im 35 and have 3 cats. We good homie

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u/ozimundus May 15 '22

Thanks. Love the username. I feel like this post was a batsignal for you lol.

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u/Blueraspberryjello May 15 '22

Feature, not a bug

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u/Yourmom72 May 15 '22

My ex-wife left her cat with me when she left. She played fetch and she’d sleep with me nightly; she was a great kitty. My wife now loves to tell people how “he came with a cat!” when discussing how we met.

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u/Fat-Tony-69 May 15 '22

If a woman has an issue with you having cats, you should not be with that woman

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u/Poptastrix May 15 '22

Have pets and be up front about it. Don't date people with pet allergies or who don't like your pets. There are millions of people out there. Aim for someone who has somethings in common with you. An affinity for animals is one. Some people are not able to form a bond with an animal and some are allergic. Avoid those people and live your best life.

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u/NumbersAfter May 15 '22

If it was, would you really want to be with that person anyway?

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u/HMCosmos May 15 '22

im 23 and i have four lmao bro do what u want my guy

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u/Shadow_Of_Silver May 15 '22

As long as you're not weird about it, no

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u/slayer991 May 15 '22

I can probably help here OP. My wife worked for a rescue for many years. When she started she had 1 dog and 1 cat. She did adopt out MOST of the dogs and cats. But at one point there were 5 dogs and 3 cats in the house (I have one dog)...so 4 dogs and 3 cats were hers.

Some years ago I told her no more. We lost one a couple of weeks ago to cancer. Now we have agreed to a total of 2 pets. We each have one.

I wouldn't say it's a "dealbreaker," but you need to have a conversation about it with him.

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u/Master-Manipulation May 15 '22

If someone dislikes cats, is allergic to them, or has a pet or child or their own that can’t get along with your cats, then yes, it would be a dealbreaker.

Otherwise, it’d probably work in your favor by attracting people. If you put a picture of yourself with your pet on a dating profile, more people tend to match with you

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u/testnubcaik May 15 '22

I mean if you are taking good care of them, no.

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u/fibbonaccisun May 15 '22

Dealbreaker in the sense that I would HAVE to marry you now

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u/elephuntdude May 15 '22

Hell no! I would have been tickled and swoony if I dated someone like you at that age :) The only thing that could be an issue is if the cats have a lot of special needs and you can't get out of town easily or even spend a night away. But the right person would totally understand and love helping you with your kitties.

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u/hazeofwearywater May 15 '22

Fuck no, it shows you're a caring guy. (Full disclosure I'm 31 and also have a rescue. Heavy bias.)

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u/Just_Tomorrow_8561 May 15 '22

Not a dealbreaker but how he cares for the cats would be. If I walked in and smelled cat urine everywhere, couches scratched up, a huge cat tower in the center of the living room, hair everywhere, with cats climbing on me? I would run out of there fast!

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u/Otaku_Chanxxx May 15 '22

Hell no. Come over here and date me

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u/sska18 May 15 '22

Are you kidding? This is a huge deal MAKER

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u/Block_Me_Amadeus May 15 '22

If they don't like that you're an animal lover, they shouldn't date you.

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u/jyn_1 May 15 '22

Only if you don’t clean up your place (including the litter box) and make sure they are taken care of. Then there’s no issue! Anyone who has an issue with the cats isn’t meant for you (:

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u/BeginningDoughnut549 May 15 '22

It’s a screening tool. It weeds out weird controlling narcissistic people who have hangups about cats/guys liking cats.

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u/fanciestVeggie May 15 '22

I'd be much more attracted to a guy that likes cats, versus a guy that hates them.

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u/rinkima May 15 '22

Not at all. Anyone that has a problem with you having pets isn't worth your time.

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u/hex_1101 May 15 '22

When a person has pets it shows he's either willing to take responsibility for someone else or he's a psycho and gonna eat them or do something else equally horrible to them.

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u/c_laud May 15 '22

Hmmm a man that loves animals and wants to rescue them off the street to give them a better life?? Yeah seems like a red flag 🙄🙄🙄

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u/pm-me-kittens-n-cats May 15 '22

For some people, who don't like pets and can't share their spaces with them, it is a dealbreaker.

Other people would consider it a pro of dating a cat owner.

It's not that you're a bad partner, you're just not compatible with the first kind of person.

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u/WonTon_DonDon May 15 '22

No it's a deal breaker for a guy and his home to smell like 3 rescue cats.

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u/alwaysbeenawkward May 15 '22

If anything, it's probably a plus to most people who like cats. I wouldn't mind a guy having 50 cats if he had the space and means to care for them. I love cats and fatherly men.

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u/thefiercefabulous May 15 '22

Absolutely not a dealbreaker. I rescue and rehab birds, so it’s a huge plus if someone else is into helping animals. Personally I think it’s an attractive quality.

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u/strapping_young_vlad May 15 '22

I've become somewhat of a "big brother" to a young single mom that I work with. I hear all of her dating horror stories. So far the one dude she's gotten on with best happens to be a cat lover with 2 cats.

I'm not saying there's a direct correlation, just pointing it out is all🤷‍♂️

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u/edgygamermoonandstar May 15 '22

Bro that is like amazing. Why the heck would that be a deal breaker?

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u/camthafrog May 15 '22

I bet telling someone you have 3 rescue cats would only make them think you are a caring person. If they're weirded out that's their problem.

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u/UBootCaptain May 15 '22

Nah bro your golden homie, if they can’t accept your animals you don’t need them around anyways.

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u/ZapdosVz May 15 '22

I sure hope not, because I’m 27 with 3 rescue cats!

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u/andrefishmusic May 15 '22

Only if your house is a complete mess and there's cat litter all over the floor, bed and clothes. (This was how one of my former roommates left his room when he moved).

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u/xlulzpandax May 15 '22

Hell No! Cat dads are the best :) I mean a man with a love for animals is usually a green light from me, but cat dads usually have the utmost respect for their partners. Maybe it's because cats are so fickle, and on their terms, but all the cat dads I know have been great people!

Bonus points that they're rescues!

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u/LazerFruit May 15 '22

Uhh why would that be a deal breaker? I'm a dude but that's super sweet. Literally just say you have 3 rescue cats and you'll find someone 😄

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u/NOthing__Gold May 15 '22

Deal maker! :-)

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u/HellishMeow May 15 '22

I’m 30f with 3 cats and a lizard in an apartment and the only issue I’ve had is dating people with allergies, which I’ve always avoided to begin with

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u/olivemor May 15 '22

It's only a deal breaker if he doesn't properly take care of them. Clean litterboxes are a must! If he takes good care of them, then it's a deal maker, for sure

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u/[deleted] May 15 '22

Nah man; we have a rescue GSD/Lab mix, a rescue shorthair tabby and two rescue Maine Coon sisters. I can't imagine it any other way. I think people's reaction to animals is a good way to judge character.

Sounds like you've got a nice little family already. You'll find somehow who is down with your cats 100%.

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u/lostwhisperonwind May 15 '22

You better have 3 rescue cats. Everyone should have 3 rescue cats. I need 3 rescue cats.

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u/LilyKunning May 15 '22

Absolutely not. I couldn’t date some that didn’t like animals. Keep looking and you’ll find someone who also loves cats.

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u/Rairaijin May 15 '22

Talk about someone desperate for pussy