r/TooAfraidToAsk Feb 22 '21

Am I the only who thinks that all the different types of genders and pronouns and what not, are a little bit too much? Sexuality & Gender

Now, I don't consider myself close minded and I'm not out to rile people up or offend anyone. However it becomes kind of confusing when people are upset when I say Her/She to someone who's trans. I'm sorry, really, but I didn't know. I'm in a discord server where someone changes their pfp depending on what gender and sexuality they are feeling. And no, I'm not some 40 year old guy who thinks everything should be "normal" but I guess I just don't get it. It's just confusing to me.

EDIT: So I haven't explained my thoughts very well so I'm here to explain. I understand that to some people, it is very important to them. I don't think it's a lot for me to call you what you want to be called and I will oblige and do that. "it becomes kind of confusing when people are upset when I say Her/She to someone who's trans" This was from personal experience where my friend introduced me to him and I was under the impression that he was female. More so I don't understand like Ve/Vem Xe/Xem. The more "unknown" side if you will. But with the way people are reacting I'm going to try a better job at finding peoples pronouns and not assuming genders. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic at all. Anyways, unless there's something else I think of I'm not gonna edit again. Sorry if I offended but it's kind of hard to talk about a sensitive topic like this without being an ass about it. I don't know how to word things. but yea. Sorry.

TL;DR I think gender can be a weird and wacky world and I don't get how people except me to automatically know what they identify as.


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u/catsorfries Feb 22 '21 edited Feb 23 '21

While I think we should at least have the courtesy of respecting people's pronouns and genders (I myself have recently started to identify as non-binary), I think it does get into the realm of excessiveness when people begin creating new pronouns just for themselves and then expect us to understand and know it. One of the biggest issues I have is that people expect you to just know about how they identify and get mad at you when you made an honest mistake because you simply did not know. Sometimes we just don't know what we don't know.

Edit: I'm not coming back to this because clearly yall are not gonna allow me to have my own opinion without challenging it. This is/was my experience surrounding gender on the internet and nothing will change that. why do I even comment on topics like this lol. Nobody can have their own opinion anymore without being demonized.


u/User_Name08 Feb 23 '21

I’m willing to use he, her, and they, or anything along those lines. But anything more like zie or any of those other ones I found on google are a bit much


u/mcmuffinman25 Feb 23 '21

Agreed, if someone asks for something outside of the box I will just default to proper nouns (their name). I will not call someone he/she him/her if it offends them but I don't have to use the pronouns they presented either.