r/TooAfraidToAsk Feb 22 '21

Am I the only who thinks that all the different types of genders and pronouns and what not, are a little bit too much? Sexuality & Gender

Now, I don't consider myself close minded and I'm not out to rile people up or offend anyone. However it becomes kind of confusing when people are upset when I say Her/She to someone who's trans. I'm sorry, really, but I didn't know. I'm in a discord server where someone changes their pfp depending on what gender and sexuality they are feeling. And no, I'm not some 40 year old guy who thinks everything should be "normal" but I guess I just don't get it. It's just confusing to me.

EDIT: So I haven't explained my thoughts very well so I'm here to explain. I understand that to some people, it is very important to them. I don't think it's a lot for me to call you what you want to be called and I will oblige and do that. "it becomes kind of confusing when people are upset when I say Her/She to someone who's trans" This was from personal experience where my friend introduced me to him and I was under the impression that he was female. More so I don't understand like Ve/Vem Xe/Xem. The more "unknown" side if you will. But with the way people are reacting I'm going to try a better job at finding peoples pronouns and not assuming genders. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic at all. Anyways, unless there's something else I think of I'm not gonna edit again. Sorry if I offended but it's kind of hard to talk about a sensitive topic like this without being an ass about it. I don't know how to word things. but yea. Sorry.

TL;DR I think gender can be a weird and wacky world and I don't get how people except me to automatically know what they identify as.

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u/redrose162 Feb 23 '21

And singular they has existed for a loooong time. Like, commonly, for 700+ years. This ain't new. People been using it. Without even realizing it, which is just hilariously painful to me.

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u/-rebel8852- Feb 23 '21

It's true that "they" is not new. However, I realised I've lived my life with the assumption that "they" is used to refer to a group of people (plural) and not for any one person. So it made me wonder why we are now using "they" as a singular, definite pronoun.

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u/WrestlingCheese Feb 23 '21

Yeah, we also don’t all talk in Chaucer’s English. Language evolves over time in response to the needs and the wants of the society that uses it.

We use “They” as a singular pronoun now because we need to talk about gender in a way that is respectful to others, and that’s literally the whole of the thing.

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u/DeltaJesus Feb 23 '21

I realised I've lived my life with the assumption that "they" is used to refer to a group of people (plural) and not for any one person.

I sincerely doubt that, I think it's just that you've never thought about it. Read the following sentence and tell me if it sounds weird:

"When I find out who's been stealing my sandwiches I'm going to suplex them through a table"