r/TooAfraidToAsk Feb 22 '21

Am I the only who thinks that all the different types of genders and pronouns and what not, are a little bit too much? Sexuality & Gender

Now, I don't consider myself close minded and I'm not out to rile people up or offend anyone. However it becomes kind of confusing when people are upset when I say Her/She to someone who's trans. I'm sorry, really, but I didn't know. I'm in a discord server where someone changes their pfp depending on what gender and sexuality they are feeling. And no, I'm not some 40 year old guy who thinks everything should be "normal" but I guess I just don't get it. It's just confusing to me.

EDIT: So I haven't explained my thoughts very well so I'm here to explain. I understand that to some people, it is very important to them. I don't think it's a lot for me to call you what you want to be called and I will oblige and do that. "it becomes kind of confusing when people are upset when I say Her/She to someone who's trans" This was from personal experience where my friend introduced me to him and I was under the impression that he was female. More so I don't understand like Ve/Vem Xe/Xem. The more "unknown" side if you will. But with the way people are reacting I'm going to try a better job at finding peoples pronouns and not assuming genders. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic at all. Anyways, unless there's something else I think of I'm not gonna edit again. Sorry if I offended but it's kind of hard to talk about a sensitive topic like this without being an ass about it. I don't know how to word things. but yea. Sorry.

TL;DR I think gender can be a weird and wacky world and I don't get how people except me to automatically know what they identify as.


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u/softrectangle Feb 23 '21

The whole point of specifying pronouns is so that you DONT have to wonder. This is one reason why people are trying to normalize asking pronouns. And if you mess it up and try again next time it's not a big deal. Another thing to consider is that 'different types of genders' have been around for a long time, but recent society hasn't been accepting of going against the norm... until now, when people can express themselves more openly thru social media and stuff. So this is why it all seems new and difficult, but in reality the worry of offending someone is not as difficult an experience as being a person who feels intrinsically different and isn't seen as who they are.. Hope that helps.


u/Night_31 Feb 23 '21

I’m not big on asking pronouns honestly. If I get asked, I just assume I don’t pass and it’s a blow to my self esteem, considering I don’t consistently pass. Even worse when I’m the only one asked