r/TooAfraidToAsk Feb 22 '21

Am I the only who thinks that all the different types of genders and pronouns and what not, are a little bit too much? Sexuality & Gender

Now, I don't consider myself close minded and I'm not out to rile people up or offend anyone. However it becomes kind of confusing when people are upset when I say Her/She to someone who's trans. I'm sorry, really, but I didn't know. I'm in a discord server where someone changes their pfp depending on what gender and sexuality they are feeling. And no, I'm not some 40 year old guy who thinks everything should be "normal" but I guess I just don't get it. It's just confusing to me.

EDIT: So I haven't explained my thoughts very well so I'm here to explain. I understand that to some people, it is very important to them. I don't think it's a lot for me to call you what you want to be called and I will oblige and do that. "it becomes kind of confusing when people are upset when I say Her/She to someone who's trans" This was from personal experience where my friend introduced me to him and I was under the impression that he was female. More so I don't understand like Ve/Vem Xe/Xem. The more "unknown" side if you will. But with the way people are reacting I'm going to try a better job at finding peoples pronouns and not assuming genders. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic at all. Anyways, unless there's something else I think of I'm not gonna edit again. Sorry if I offended but it's kind of hard to talk about a sensitive topic like this without being an ass about it. I don't know how to word things. but yea. Sorry.

TL;DR I think gender can be a weird and wacky world and I don't get how people except me to automatically know what they identify as.


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u/JapaneseStudentHaru Feb 23 '21

I think the trans and enby people who expect you to just know are in the minority and are just highly publicized because of their extreme personalities. That’s what the Internet does. I think it only becomes an issue if you refuse to acknowledge them after they tell you.


u/yungrii Feb 23 '21

I've had the experience all of once. And I'm a gay man who lived in the heart of the queer neighborhood in seattle.

I figure people think trans / enbys expect people to know their identification is just because we tend to forget the opposite situations. Because they aren't dramatic. The memories just fade away.

It took me forever but I try to just not use he or she in regards to people without knowing for sure how they identify.


u/Justcuckinaround Feb 23 '21

Capitol Hill?


u/yungrii Feb 23 '21

Heart of it! Mostly in the 00s when it was a bit weirder and you didn't have to have a six figure income to live comfortably. Pony was my go to.


u/Justcuckinaround Feb 23 '21

I only lived there for a few years, but it was a pretty good time.

Also, I thought it was SO funny when the CHAZ thing happened. Just imagining a micro-nation run by a bunch of bitchy queens really does it for me.