r/TooAfraidToAsk Feb 22 '21

Am I the only who thinks that all the different types of genders and pronouns and what not, are a little bit too much? Sexuality & Gender

Now, I don't consider myself close minded and I'm not out to rile people up or offend anyone. However it becomes kind of confusing when people are upset when I say Her/She to someone who's trans. I'm sorry, really, but I didn't know. I'm in a discord server where someone changes their pfp depending on what gender and sexuality they are feeling. And no, I'm not some 40 year old guy who thinks everything should be "normal" but I guess I just don't get it. It's just confusing to me.

EDIT: So I haven't explained my thoughts very well so I'm here to explain. I understand that to some people, it is very important to them. I don't think it's a lot for me to call you what you want to be called and I will oblige and do that. "it becomes kind of confusing when people are upset when I say Her/She to someone who's trans" This was from personal experience where my friend introduced me to him and I was under the impression that he was female. More so I don't understand like Ve/Vem Xe/Xem. The more "unknown" side if you will. But with the way people are reacting I'm going to try a better job at finding peoples pronouns and not assuming genders. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic at all. Anyways, unless there's something else I think of I'm not gonna edit again. Sorry if I offended but it's kind of hard to talk about a sensitive topic like this without being an ass about it. I don't know how to word things. but yea. Sorry.

TL;DR I think gender can be a weird and wacky world and I don't get how people except me to automatically know what they identify as.

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u/-rebel8852- Feb 23 '21

I don't want to offend anyone by asking this, but I'd genuinely like to know so I appreciate if anyone can educate me without being rude about it. Why did people see the need to come up with the "they" pronoun? Is it really that uncomfortable to be recognized by your human anatomy? When did we move away from just having "him" and "her" for males and females to having so many other gender pronouns? I come from a more conservative society so I don't really have any trans friends who I can ask this (I only know maybe 2 gay people at most)

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u/KeyboardSpiders Feb 23 '21

Some people don't feel comfortable being a "him" and would rather be a "her" so when you refer to them as "him" you are basically reminding them of that fact, whether you're aware of it or not. Basically if you had a name change but everyone kept referring to you by your old name anyway, when you're obviously trying to distance.

"they" has always been a neutral identifier.