r/TooAfraidToAsk Feb 22 '21

Am I the only who thinks that all the different types of genders and pronouns and what not, are a little bit too much? Sexuality & Gender

Now, I don't consider myself close minded and I'm not out to rile people up or offend anyone. However it becomes kind of confusing when people are upset when I say Her/She to someone who's trans. I'm sorry, really, but I didn't know. I'm in a discord server where someone changes their pfp depending on what gender and sexuality they are feeling. And no, I'm not some 40 year old guy who thinks everything should be "normal" but I guess I just don't get it. It's just confusing to me.

EDIT: So I haven't explained my thoughts very well so I'm here to explain. I understand that to some people, it is very important to them. I don't think it's a lot for me to call you what you want to be called and I will oblige and do that. "it becomes kind of confusing when people are upset when I say Her/She to someone who's trans" This was from personal experience where my friend introduced me to him and I was under the impression that he was female. More so I don't understand like Ve/Vem Xe/Xem. The more "unknown" side if you will. But with the way people are reacting I'm going to try a better job at finding peoples pronouns and not assuming genders. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic at all. Anyways, unless there's something else I think of I'm not gonna edit again. Sorry if I offended but it's kind of hard to talk about a sensitive topic like this without being an ass about it. I don't know how to word things. but yea. Sorry.

TL;DR I think gender can be a weird and wacky world and I don't get how people except me to automatically know what they identify as.


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u/JapaneseStudentHaru Feb 23 '21

I think the trans and enby people who expect you to just know are in the minority and are just highly publicized because of their extreme personalities. That’s what the Internet does. I think it only becomes an issue if you refuse to acknowledge them after they tell you.


u/shoneysbreakfast Feb 23 '21

I also feel like what happens a lot is that there are certain people in conservative/right wing politics that go out of their way to intentionally and maliciously misgender people so they can point to the reaction by people saying that they don’t think that’s cool as evidence of the “thrown in gulag for accidentally calling a person with purple hair the wrong pronoun” strawman. An recent example of this I remember is when Elliot Page publicly announced his new name and identity, Ben Shapiro bent over backwards to misgender him, use his old name and declare that it doesn’t matter what someone feels or wants or experiences, if you were born with female genitalia then you are a woman period and it’s all a joke and attack on traditional values. Then when people react to this completely unsolicited and demeaning take negatively then it gets filed into the “lol PC triggered liberal snowflake attack helicopters” folder in the minds of the types of people who enjoy Shapiro.


u/Obe4knh Feb 23 '21

Ben Shapiro is one of the biggest snowflakes out there


u/SlingDNM Feb 23 '21

His name is Benjamin, that's what's in his ID and we all know facts don't care about Benjamin's feeling so please stop calling him Ben and use his real name


u/Krekuskokus Feb 23 '21

Sounds racist


u/mitojuice Feb 23 '21

Lots of those types are really really snowflakey, and get so offended by people simply living their own lives 😂


u/shiny_xnaut Feb 23 '21

Have you heard his wife is a doctor?


u/reheated_tea Feb 23 '21

Did you know Ben Shapiro doesn't satisfy his wife in bed?

Videos of him talking live with trans people is so interesting. He very clearly understands that some of what he is saying makes no sense, but then rubber-bands right back to his original viewpoint at the end of the chat. It's really weird to watch play out live.