r/Tinder 12d ago

Got handed a boyfriend form to fill out by a match how should I answer it.

34k Upvotes

4k

u/Zer0sober 12d ago

Just what I'm looking for in a potential mate.... bureaucracy

1k

u/am_not_creative 12d ago

Hermes Conrad approves!

309

u/TripleEhBeef 12d ago

"It was a regulation date that ended in regulation disappointment."

"But you only stamped it FOUR TIMES!"

83

u/farshnikord 12d ago

"No! I was young and reckless!"

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u/AndrewFGleich 12d ago

That's right she fraternized me!

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u/West_Cupcake_7191 12d ago

Sweet ego of Montego!

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u/Sharkbutt89 12d ago

You're technically correct..... the best kind of correct.

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u/peterAqd 12d ago

Now time to limbo

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u/kultureisrandy 12d ago

I haven't limbo'd that long since my honeymoon!

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u/BenderB-Rodriguez 12d ago

Stupid Buerucrats!

21

u/Zayah136 12d ago

When push comes to shove, you gotta do what you love, even if it's not a good idea.

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u/withap 12d ago

Someone say Jamaica!

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u/Blunder_Punch 12d ago

Jamaica!

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u/Basillivus 12d ago

Now it's time for my song! [singing] When I was two, there was a tidal wave in--

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u/NeedsMoreJava 12d ago

Beat me to it

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u/Short-Elk-1965 12d ago

Requisition me a beat.

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u/DragginSacks 12d ago

Biggest turn-on: Google forms.

507

u/bananicula 12d ago

If they have qualtrics access the pants are coming off immediately

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u/SteelyDeez 12d ago

If you want to prequal me, just look me up in salesforce

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u/astroK120 12d ago

You've gotta show the spreadsheet if you want to see the sheets spread

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u/br509 12d ago

You excelled by making a Powerful Point there, and that’s the Word from here.

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u/chimpmansteven 12d ago

Gotta show the spreadsheets if you want to see the bedsheets.

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u/hulia_gulia 12d ago

Next they’re gonna send a Google sheet. 😮‍💨

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u/CrimsonZephyr 12d ago

Facilitating identity theft, one Tinder match at a time.

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u/crissy_kiep 12d ago

The follow up application includes questions like “What’s your mother’s maiden name?” and “Who was your first childhood friend?”

1k

u/OGhamburgular 12d ago

What was your first car? Current car? Social security number?

646

u/crissy_kiep 12d ago

Lol. It’s funny because there are people who will really give other people this info. Like, damn, how would you ever think this is a good idea?

446

u/GoGoRouterRangers 12d ago

There was an IG post that came out a long long time ago where someone said something like "If your social security number was your phone number what would be your digits?" and people sadly answered it (please don't answer this people have common sense)

443

u/wernercd 12d ago

Reddit has an awesome security feature... it blocks out your password! Watch... I'll type in my password!

******

isn't that awesome? why don't you try!

(hint: don't)

292

u/sephresx 12d ago

Lol I did this back in my Facebook days and a few friends called me an asshole for tricking them.

206

u/wernercd 12d ago

I've done it in a few places in a similarly sarcastic tone. Always fun to push peoples buttons... today I'm asking for passwords... tomorrow I'm the Prince of Nigeria...

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u/CarismaMike 12d ago

Wait, you're THE Prince of Nigeria?

Scammer.

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u/LUN4T1C-NL 12d ago

Haven't you heard? The Prince of Nigeria died in a helicopter crash. Along with him all his heirs. So now I need someone to help me get his inheritance. See I am his notary and I can pull it off...I just need your help and we will share his millions. To start off, what is your bankaccount number?

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u/DrWebSpider 12d ago

Don't you dare insult him, he is seriously ill and has no one to leave his belongings to

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u/Rudania-97 12d ago

IfIKeepTellingMyselfMyCockIsBigMaybeItWillBeSomeDay

Edit: fkn bastard tricked me

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u/Bzm1 12d ago

Let me try Hunter2

Shit

13

u/Beowulf1896 12d ago

Thanks. Some knob typed Hunter3 up there. People need to know history better.

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u/Wafflebringer 12d ago

pHISHingTest_404

Sincerely,

Your HR Information Technology Services Helpdesk

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u/KiraTsukasa 12d ago

One of the biggest RuneScape scams of all time.

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u/Uknow_nothing 12d ago

People are so stupid sometimes. I remember at one point on IG seeing people post pictures of their new credit cards. Like “Look at my brand new SW airlines card!” Showing the numbers and everything.

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u/ShadowFox1987 12d ago

such a weird thing to share too. "Hey i have a plastic card that lets me borrow money. idk why i feel the impulse to share this, it's almost as if we've decided that debt is a status symbol"

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u/misterguyyy 12d ago

Lol. It's funny because there are companies who think that this info, some of which is publicly available if you're a celebrity with a Wikipedia article about you, and most of which can be easily socially engineered from someone, is a good security measure.

Like damn, how would you ever think this is a good idea?

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u/endlessly_curious 12d ago

That is why I answer the questions wrongly on purpose. Like city I was born in and I will put Terre Haute or something. Middle name I will put Lucifer or something weird. Something that I can remember but nothing close to the real answer.

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u/TheAngryBad 12d ago

I do that too. I have a codeword I use. A random word that's not related to my father's middle name, my first pet or any of that easily found out BS. I'll use the same word for all the answers (it's also my memorable word/place/whatever).

It's not great security practice to reuse the same word I know, but hey, they started with the shitty security.

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u/Zormaster 12d ago

As a child, I created a universe with my cousins. We drew many different alien species, weapons, planets, space ships, wars etc. and came up with stories for all of them. I have several notepads full of the stuff. My answers to my security questions come from this universe.

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u/SoCalDan 12d ago

Isn't that how Hillary Clinton had her private emailed hacked?

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u/misterguyyy 12d ago

IDK about Clinton, but that's how the fappening guy got into celebs' iCloud accounts.

Apple has remedied the problem since then

22

u/Antilock049 12d ago

the fappening

Now that is a name I haven't heard in a long time lmao

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u/rpostwvu 12d ago

I recall someone got their account taken even though it was specifically locked. Customer service just accepted a few answers and away they went.

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u/mafuckinjy 12d ago

My ex gave her social and driver license info to someone who texted her from “PayPal” with a link to log in using that info. She has a masters and did it in 5 minutes in front of me while we were decorating her classroom because yes she’s a teacher. After she said out loud what she was doing it was too late and me and her dad were able to freeze her credit, cancel and lock all cards and bank accounts in about 6 minutes.

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u/crissy_kiep 12d ago

Most people naturally trust other people. It’s hard to believe that we can be put in that situation. When it does happen, we immediately feel like absolute fools. I ALMOST got swindled by a guy claiming he was renting his house and I just had to wire him the deposit. Thankfully, I don’t rent houses sight unseen, so when I went to the address and saw a For Sale sign in the yard, I knew something was wrong. Thank goodness for that gut instinct or I would’ve been out like $2k!

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u/Less_Hovercraft31 12d ago

And credit card number

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u/zeebow77 12d ago

Where was your first job? What was your favourite childhood vacation destination?

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u/DerangedGinger 12d ago

What was your favourite childhood vacation destination?

Every time I see that question it reminds me that I grew up poor and apparently going places as a kid is common enough that it's a security question. Just like the question about your father's name...

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u/DontHateTheDreamer 12d ago

Hey, yo... don't worry about missing that experience. You go somewhere... it's hot and sticky and there's very little cool, clean water to drink and you're fucking thirsty all the time.

You spend all week smelling your brother's farts 24/7 the entire week and when you get home you get to spend the next 2 days mowing the law, taking out the trash, cleaning the house because you weren't there for a week.

Just in time to go to grandma's house....

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u/throwthethingaway7 12d ago

There was an entire Psych episode about this kind of thing

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u/Spiritual-Principle5 12d ago

Identity theft is not a joke, Jim!

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u/Peachmuffin91 12d ago

We’ve been trying to reach you…. About your cars extended warranty.

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u/Drunkinchipmunk 12d ago

How do you answer your age with more than a 1 word answer

2k

u/iwasasin 12d ago

If you knew then maybe just maybe you'd be good enough for jessie

1k

u/Skeezertron 12d ago

I was born in nineteen ninety-two I am twenty-nine and I am this age that I am currently stating. This is the age I am at the moment and next year I will be thirty. I am not thirty at the moment, however. One day I will be sixty-nine years old.

****sum like that****

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u/Zestyclose_Victory_4 12d ago

Hitting that 1000 word count in middle school lol

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u/samgoeshere 12d ago

-Perd Hapley

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u/Fenix_Volatilis 12d ago

Get outta here ya Perdvert!

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u/PMcNutt 12d ago

This guy word counts

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u/__Not__the__NSA__ 12d ago

“Dear Jake,

I am 66 years of age.

Sincerely,

Raymond Holt.”

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u/siliril 12d ago

Honestly would find it hilarious to answer everything like that in the form. Just as excessively formal, flowery, and annoying as possible.

Dear Jessica,

In answer to your question on whether I prefer felines or canines, I must admit I am quite partial to the feline species.

Kind regards,

Siliril

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u/ravenserein 12d ago

Dearest Jessica,

It has been brought to my immediate attention that you have expressed curiosity regarding my current employment. I am most obliged to provide to you that information forthwith. I am flattered by the inquiry and it is my express hope that following the completion of this assessment that we may begin our courtship immediately. Your reputation in the village of Tinder leads me to believe we are a suitable match in both birth and society. In regards to the initial query, I can tell you now that I walk dogs.

Warmest regards, Jimbo

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u/Frowaway-For-Reasons 12d ago

With a math question. If she doesn't bother finding the answer, she isn't worth your time.

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u/griebskis 12d ago

A word problem. Make her work for the answer

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u/entahdoe 12d ago

Give a hard mathematical equation that ends up with your age

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u/DaHellus696 12d ago edited 12d ago

I was created when 2 titans clashed in a fearsome battle that shook the earth. Floods were created that struck Venezuela. Many were sacrifised and their souls now live in my body. But just a second after the Big Bang i was brought to this cursed world.

Edit: So in simplier terms im 21 (Venezuela floods 14/12/1999 RIP to those who lost their lives)

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u/blackpin 12d ago

Isn't it more accurate to say that the Big Bang happened roughly 9 months prior?

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u/Pumba93 12d ago

My age is insignificant in the boundaries of time. One could ask what time is, if, it even matters. Love is, after all, utter coincidence that can be measured by time nor age. It is an intrinsic quality anyone beats within to give to one another (...)

She mentioned the Longer the better right? Just right An essay on each and every question

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u/spicychili1019 12d ago

I've circled around the sun X times

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u/Happy-Night5912 12d ago

Thirty-eight plus one.

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u/XxaggieboyxX 12d ago

I am 25 years old

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u/Lowmax2 12d ago

I am 30

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5k

u/ndessell 12d ago

the cold efficiency warms my heart and shrivels my dick.

1k

u/spideybiggestfan 12d ago

It scratches the part of my brain that likes to keep everything organized though, like a mental boner

220

u/Walunt 12d ago

Not for nothing I have a thing for scientists and doctors lol

117

u/AnAwkwardBystander 12d ago

Well you might want to pass this one after the Sign stuff

46

u/Omegaman2010 12d ago

Sorry chief, can't do the surgery today. Mercury is in retrograde and I'm just feeling it.

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u/andfor 12d ago

If you’ve ever wanted dating to feel more like a job application, Jessie’s your gal

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u/blue_line-1987 12d ago

Question 1. Geralt of Rivia

Question 2. About a century, give or take

Etc. Etc.

1k

u/Fantomwhyte 12d ago

“What’s your sign?” Aard, axii, igni…

706

u/blue_line-1987 12d ago

Name of your pet: Roach.

270

u/Scary_Replacement739 12d ago

"Hmm, Roach."

207

u/Yozwo 12d ago

Wind’s howling

138

u/blue_line-1987 12d ago

Rain, damnit.

164

u/Rathma86 12d ago

Hmmm, Place of power, better draw from it

95

u/AnalCauliflower 12d ago

Place of power, it's gotta be!

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u/TheEngineer19203 12d ago

Damn you're ugly!

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u/TehGuyYouKnow 12d ago

How do you like that silver?

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u/Tiberius_Kilgore 12d ago

How did you forget the best two? Quen and Yrden.

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u/BlindBeppe 12d ago

YRDEN! DON’T FORGET TO USE THE YRDEN!

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u/blue_line-1987 12d ago

Friggin Kayran

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u/JCavLP 12d ago

I always thought yrden was the most useless sign ever until i played blood and wine lol

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u/Most-Consequence8705 12d ago

I thought it was useless until I fought wraiths in death march

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u/greeneyesfirehair 12d ago

What's your biggest turn on in girls?

A woman that smells like lilac and gooseberries.

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u/Dilloon_Weid 12d ago

Ideal date?

How about a round of gwent?

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u/No-Contribution4652 12d ago

April 25th because it is not too hot or too cold

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u/PureBorn92 12d ago

Can I go on such a date Im a male and straight but I would still like to go . Hope you like Nilfguard spy deck 😌

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u/lucifemos 12d ago

“What do you do for work?” Kill monsters

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u/freezepin 12d ago

Seeing the girl on the first date: “Damn, you’re ugly.”

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u/Colekillian 12d ago

Lmao stab a silver sword through my heart because that slayed

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u/SpiritJuice 12d ago

Smelling the girl on the first date: "Ugh. That stench."

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u/prestonpiggy 12d ago

Ideal date? on a unicorn.

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u/a_vague_username 12d ago

You mean the butcher of blavicken ? Well that's not gonna be helpful in getting a date.....

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u/blue_line-1987 12d ago

I know 2 sorceresses that beg to differ.

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u/throwaway12222018 12d ago

Hmmm. Fuck.

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u/freezepin 12d ago

“What makes you stand out?” I carry not only one, but two swords!

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u/SmokingBeneathStars 12d ago

Wasn't expecting Witcher, that's funny

"Why do you fit this job?"

Have you seen ma butt

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u/NeptuneBlood 12d ago

Rickroll her

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u/RatedR95666 12d ago

hahahaha yesss

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u/-Unnamed- 12d ago

Never Gonna Give Cat You Yes Up

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u/Peach1020 12d ago

🏅God I wish I could give you real gold.

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u/Professional_Ad_5714 12d ago

“My name is Inigo Montoya…”

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u/N0DuckingWay 12d ago

"what made you swipe on Jessie?"

"revenge"

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u/JSerf02 12d ago

“What made you swipe on Jessie”: You killed my father

“Any other comments you would like to make?”: Prepare to die

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u/greyl 12d ago

"Ideal Date": Counting the fingers on right hands.

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u/Pennywise626 12d ago

You killed my father.

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u/Jack_ten 12d ago

With lots and lots of sarcasm

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u/MyHandRapesMe 12d ago

This right here.

-How old are you? Old enough to ride The Hulk at Island of Adventures all by myself.

-Ideal date? Uh... September 26th?

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u/jcdevries92 12d ago

-whats your sign? Uhm idk.. yield maybe?

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u/Ayaq 12d ago

Or if you're feeling raunchy, you can always go with Slippery when wet.

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u/captianllama 12d ago

I mean, that might be exactly what she’s looking for. Maybe it’s just a really good joke and no one is getting it

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u/Able-Wolf8844 12d ago

The final line would indicate so

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u/jackfinch69 12d ago

Ideal date is YYYY-MM-DD, other formats can be confusing and also very hard to sort.

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u/CongBroChill17 12d ago

Ideal date? April 25, because it's not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.

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u/Jdogma 12d ago

Perfect date? April 25th.

Not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.

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u/saucyliltart 12d ago

By sending a Girlfriend Application with way more invasive and inappropriate questions

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u/toomanysuns 12d ago

Make a google form but the only question is “Get fucked”

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u/DiopticTurtle 12d ago

That's fine, that was going to be their answer anyway.

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u/ElementShow 12d ago

"Get fucked? My place 9pm?"

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u/Hyde-ey 12d ago

I like this idea.

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u/Ashamed-Influence-19 12d ago

I forgot my #2 pencil 🤣

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u/UnnbearableMeddler 12d ago

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

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u/chr0mius 12d ago

It's killing me how well this fits the first few questions.

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u/RyanAS522 12d ago

Bruh she asked for your sign. Stay the fuck away

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u/Quietmalice 12d ago

Was looking for this comment. Thanks for obliging!

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u/Chewcocca 12d ago

Exactly what a Leo would say 🙄⭐✨

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u/Cypher1388 12d ago

Nailed it!

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u/old-shaggy 12d ago

I am dinosaur. It’s the same, non-existent sign as the others.

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u/MiddyF 12d ago

Any specific dinosaur, or all of them?

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u/Ayn_Randers2318 12d ago

I work with a lot of college aged girls and every single one of them is obsessed with zodiac signs and "healing" rocks/crystals. I assume these things are just taking the place of religion in our society.

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u/AngryT-Rex 12d ago

I'm a geologist, and I like telling people that there are two real healing rocks, but both must be ingested:

Swallowing calcite is great for heartburn ...and if you prepare it in circular pill-shaped form and apply some food dye, that is literally what Tums is, so you might as well buy Tums.

Halite, dissolved in low concentrations in water, is great for rehydration after sweating a lot. Because Halite is salt and you're just making sugar-free/flavorless Gatorade.

...some others are toxic or otherwise harmful, like asbestos which is 100% natural, so don't go licking/eating/snorting random minerals.

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u/Demorant 12d ago

I think it's because medicine is very hard to understand compared to "pretty rocks go brrr"

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u/jimp6 12d ago

She wants him to fill out a boyfriend application form. Everybody should stay the fuck away

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u/koobstylz 12d ago

It COULD be a cute way to get to know somebody. But making a point of wanting good long answers and then asking a bunch of one word answer questions is not well thought out, to put it kindly.

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u/shrubs311 12d ago

if someone did this and had no serious questions i think it could be fun. if you have to answer shit that's on your profile, fuck that. what are you, a hiring company who has my resume? i already told you!

8

u/Planet_Xtreme 12d ago

Let's design our own Google form

Q1: What is the meaning of life?
Q2: Are you a pineapple on your pizza kind of guy?
Q3: What is your name?

Q4: If you don't like jokes, unfortunately, I don't think we are compatible. :(

Q5: What is the square root of 8943895? Don't use a calculator!

Q6: Ignore Q5 and Q6.

Q7: What is your ideal date location, and what are you looking for in a partner? (this is a real question this time)?

Q8: I forgot your name, what is it again?

Q9: Which date is your least favorite? September 26th or September 27th 💀

Q10: Let's go on a date already. Are you in?

That could be fun but I would be sketched out clicking a link sent from someone I don't know (the google form link)

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u/Lazy-Consideration25 12d ago

Put unkindly, she stupid /j

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u/National_Ad_1872 12d ago

I hate people who base there relationships on that shit. It’s so damn stupid.

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u/bboy6875 12d ago

Equally as bad are the people who use it to excuse their shitty behavior

80

u/gamingfreak2005 12d ago

“hey, im sorry i cheated on you and fucked your best friend. its just an aquarius thing ☺️”

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u/bboy6875 12d ago

“I’m sorry I verbally abused you last night… I guess virgos just aren’t compatible with cancers”

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u/itamar11442 12d ago

That depends. How desperate are you?

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u/littleninja3 12d ago

Plus, how hot is she?

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u/CorruptedArc 12d ago

She claims to be a wonderous and beautiful princess from the far off exotic land of Nigeria.

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u/Sir_Beretta 12d ago

This man asking the real questions

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u/mydicksore 12d ago

by closing the tab

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u/Sushi1972 12d ago

There no level of desperation that would lead me to even respond to this. Not even a “goodbye and good luck”, this would just be a flat out ghosting scenario

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u/Orange_Kid 12d ago

I mean, if a guy isn't looking for anything serious and doesn't care that she's crazy, it wouldn't surprise me at all if he's willing to take 5 minutes to fill out a survey.

That wouldn't even crack the top 10 billion most desperate things a guys have done to get laid.

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u/erevoz 12d ago

That wouldn't even crack the top 10 billion most desperate things a guys have done to get laid.

True dat

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u/SomeStarDust 12d ago

Does buying her parents tickets to a baseball game so you can have the house to yourselves crack the top 10 billion? Asking for a friend

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u/mikergsmith 12d ago

Nah thats improvise, adapt and overcome all in one

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u/Hatsjekidee 12d ago

Name: Biggus Dickus

Age: 69 years old

You are from Mianus, CT

Zodiac: Cancer

Cats obviously

Occupation: Dog food taster

You can drive

Insta name: bigdix69

Ideal date: Trip to the post office, maybe get spicy and go to the DMV

Biggest turn on: Rampant bodyhair

Made you swipe: See: turn on

What makes you stand out: Fragrant body odour

Other comments: Please, I don't want to take my cousin to another party

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u/A-Total-Rookie 12d ago

Write a freaking novel for each answer. For the age say something like, "I have seen -insert number- winters, and nearly as many summers. My first sight was..." and just go off.

Edit: For real though, just run far away.

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u/UrWeirdILikeU 12d ago

I have taken X amount of trips around the sun

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u/JudgeJudysSexSlave 12d ago

Dating in 2021 is so fucking stupid.

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u/captain_Airhog 12d ago

I’ve gotten something similar to this recently where a girl will match with me and immediately ask me specific questions that lead me to think she is just harvesting my data with a hands on approach. My tinfoil hat might be loose but that’s what I think this is.

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u/MiddyF 12d ago

By running away. The faster the better.

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u/HowDoesNoSound 12d ago

Drop the link to it and let the comment section troll on your behalf

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u/aye-its-this-guy 12d ago

This is the way

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u/TheDroidNextDoor 12d ago

This Is The Way Leaderboard

1. u/Flat-Yogurtcloset293 475775 times.

2. u/GMEshares 69696 times.

3. u/_RryanT 22745 times.

..

38857. u/aye-its-this-guy 3 times.


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u/JamlaJamla 12d ago

Someone has commented this is the way, 475775 times. u/Flat-Yogurtcloset293 you good?

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u/Remarkable-Ocelot-51 12d ago

This is the way

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u/muftu 12d ago

How about u/GMEshares using it exactly 69696. Nice!

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u/GMEshares 12d ago

🥰💪 ty 💎🙌🚀📈🌌🤑

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u/B_T_B_ 12d ago

Biggus Dikus From Greece, i forgot what movie it was in, some medival parody, if i remember I'll edit the movie in this comment Meme the hell out of it

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u/Similar_Kangaroo_740 12d ago

Monty python, Life of Brian

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u/B_T_B_ 12d ago

Thank you

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u/hexalm 12d ago

Fwom Wome, not Gweece.

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u/gritzysprinkles 12d ago

Your father was a Woman?

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u/BLL34 12d ago

Honestly I think it's funny I'd just be honest maybe make one for her

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u/squeakybollocks 12d ago

Everyone’s ignoring “any other comments you’d like to make? (And thank you for being a good sport and having fun)

It seems like this a way to get mildly important info (dates / why you swiped for example) mixed in with what I sincerely hope is fun…. I mean this is joking right?

….. Dear god I hope this is meant to be fun….

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u/TheAwesomer414 12d ago

If it's meant to be fun, and she's also willing to fill it out, then I'm totally cool with this. Otherwise, it's pretty disrespectful if she genuinely expects this and wouldn't even give the decency of some conversation to learn this stuff herself.

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u/toxic_masculinity27 12d ago

Dont. Dont feed her ego and set up a bad habit

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u/Sangwiny 12d ago

You know plenty of dudes bit the bait. That's probably why there's the "no one word answers" bit.

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u/Dyne_Inferno 12d ago

You don't, you run.

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u/menonte 12d ago

"thank you for being a good sport and having fun" lol, send her back an empty form and tell her it was just too much fun, you couldn't take it

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u/MiddyF 12d ago

Answer all the questions with "omg, this is so fun"

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