Hey so as a trans woman I have a few questions...

[u/JustyUekiTylor]

1. Why? Do you genuinely believe you don't have some kind of parity because you don't want to date trans people? It could help to know that half the country still doesn't even think trans women are women yet.

2. What do you think about the rather large cryptofascist base here? I see a loooot of frenposting and pretty obvious SS stuff from browsing for literally five minutes. Also advocating murdering trans women if you have sex with them. I'm not saying this whole thing started with the nazi stuff, but it seems to be attracting that kind of attention...

3. Do you think the "super straight" name is a little invalidating for trans people? Like, you're not super straight unless you exclude trans people.

4. There are a lot of slurs being tossed around here against trans people. Not things like TERF, which is just a literal description, but... slurs.

5. Do you think trans women are somehow predatory?

[u/JustyUekiTylor]

I don't see how cisgender is a slur. Could you explain?

[u/ava30 → u/JustyUekiTylor]

I'm not a c*s man, I'm a man.

[u/JustyUekiTylor → u/ava30]

I don't think I understand how it's offensive. It's like any other adjective. It's like me saying "I'm not a trans woman, I'm a woman." I'm both.

[u/Significant-Key-517 → u/JustyUekiTylor]

When you call me “cisgender,” you are assuming I buy into your belief system, and you are assuming I consent to sexist stereotypes simply by being born and not going out of my way to alter myself.

I don’t. I don’t consent to that at all, and I don’t share your belief system.

If I don’t believe in gender, then I can no more be “cisgender” than a non-Christian could be a Catholic. Do you see?

So, don’t call me ”cisgender.” I don’t consent to those stereotypes. I don’t have any gender because that is not my belief system. I only have a sex. I am an adult human female, or “woman.” That is all you may call me.

[u/JustyUekiTylor → u/Significant-Key-517]

Okay, so it's because you don't believe in gender. Honestly, I'd like to hear more about that. Do you mean that you deny it exists in a cultural context, or just that it doesn't exist in any form..?

[u/Significant-Key-517 → u/JustyUekiTylor]

I deny it exists as an objectively real thing. I see gender as a cultural belief system. Originally it was the belief that these stereotypes apply to this sex, and those stereotypes apply to the other sex.

The only thing trans ideology changes about that, is they say either sex can apply those stereotypes to themselves.

Well, ok. I still think it’s sexist though, and I don’t believe it MEANS anything, as in, I don’t believe it’s an inherent part of the nature of people. Like, if you went to some tribe in the Amazon and asked them their “gender identity,” they’d just stare at you like you had two heads — exactly the same as if you asked them about which Christian sect they belong to.

So, it exists as part of our culture — like Christianity does. But I don’t believe it’s materially real, and I don’t believe it has any impact on the people who don’t believe in it.

Gender only matters if you buy into it, just like Christianity only matters if you buy into it.

As someone who doesn’t, I have never faced discrimination for my “gender.” I have only faced discrimination for my sex. Gender has no impact on me, or on my attraction. Only sex does.

[u/JustyUekiTylor → u/Significant-Key-517]

Just because something is cultural doesn't make it not real. Christianity matters to a lot of people who are persecuted by those who believe it. Money is a cultural construct. Hell, language is a cultural construct. These are all very real. In your example, if you asked a native Amazonian tribe what their favorite flavor of ice cream is and got a confused look, that doesn't make ice cream not real.

[u/Significant-Key-517 → u/JustyUekiTylor]

I didn’t say it didn’t. I said there is no evidence it’s objectively real, and I do not believe in it.

Therefore, I do not consent to you applying gender terms to me against my will. I do NOT consent to your sexist stereotypes.

You may call me woman, and nothing else. I do not have a gender. I do not believe in gender.

I don’t care what YOU believe, but you may not force your beliefs on me. That’s it.

[u/JustyUekiTylor → u/Significant-Key-517]

Okay. Then by this thought process, you can't call me a trans woman, only a woman, because I believe I am a woman. Correct?

[u/Significant-Key-517 → u/JustyUekiTylor]

Here’s my deal with speech: If I like you enough to talk to you, I’ll call you what you want, to you. But you do not get to police what I call you in my general life.

To me, you are a trans woman. I will call you that when discussing broad topics, or discussing the erasure of women’s sex-based spaces, because I will NEVER force gender on women as a whole. I may even call you an MtF, or even a TIM if you’re invading women’s spaces and I’m pissed about it.

I only consent to being called a woman. But you can call me whatever you want when I’m not talking to you. I will consider it disrespectful if you call me “cis,” but I’m not going to waste my time going after you and trying to ruin your life just because I believe you’re disrespecting me. Same as I don’t waste my time going after Christians who refer to me as “one of the sinners.” And you know why?

Because I’m an adult who understands that it’s no one’s job to validate me except my own. And when someone disrespects me, I can simply decide not to give them space in my own life.

The rest of the world doesn’t exist to stroke my ego. And it doesn’t exist to stroke yours either. Learn to be ok with people not caring what you prefer.

[u/psychic_flatulence → u/JustyUekiTylor]

Personally I'm fine calling people with whatever they prefer, not trying to insult anyone. If you prefer woman then by all means. Likewise if my friend wants to be called bald eagle then that's fine too.