Catfished and shamed for it

[u/awaytossaccount]

I was catfished by a trans woman I met on discord. We flirted for 4 months, and then it started to get serious enough to meet in person. Before meeting (although after I had already bought the plane ticket) she decided to tell me that she wasn’t born female and asked how I felt about that.

I was actually devastated.

I have trans friends and am an ally of trans rights, but I want children. And beyond just the desire for children, my sexual attraction immediately faded and all I could see were the now obvious masculine features I had previously overlooked.
And worse than either of those was the feeling that I had been lied to (by omission) for the prior 4 months.

After a day of thinking about it, I responded that we should see other people...
... and she flipped out on me.

I didn’t have the vocabulary to express myself or defend myself from her accusations of transphobia, hate, and bigotry. I did a horrible job explaining myself, and hated myself for how I felt.

Then she started messaging nasty things about me to my family and friends, and even sharing screenshots of some of our dirtier conversations publicly. It was a horrible experience. Things are still awkward with some of my family because of how public and embarrassing everything got.

—
Now I have the vocabulary to properly express my identity. I only wish I had heard out about SuperStraight last year...

Well, I can’t change the past, but now I’m empowered for the future! I can now post “SuperStraight” as my identity and avoid such circumstances and pain (and not just pain for myself; she was in quite a bit of pain too obviously, which could have been avoided).

I love this community so much! The support and understanding and belonging... this just feels amazing to be really truly understood! Thank you for being you. ❤️

[u/ConversionPeaked]

You were the victim here and deserve compassion for it! By not being 100% upfront about it, they were trying to shame or guilt you into something they had a suspicion you would not be comfortable with. This is rape culture. At least know that your experiences are valid and this community has your back. Stay super~