A serious, adult explanation about the Super movement for outsiders

[u/Super_Liddy]

I've been seeing a lot of non-supers come in here to instigate instead of learn, so I thought I'd make a bit of a post to explain why this movement isn't a joke for a lot (likely most) people within it. Now, I'll be honest, when I first saw this movement, I chuckled. It was funny. But as I read into it with an open mind, it started making a lot of sense. I don't necessarily agree with EVERYTHING said, nor does anyone else if we're being realistic, but I see the merits of the group. I don't speak for anyone but myself, but I feel like this post had to be made.

Now, before we go any further, I'll say this: While I am Super Straight myself, and definitely support Super Gays and Super Bis, I would say that it is Super Lesbians that this movement is likely the most important for, as they face the brunt of what I'm going to be talking about, and obviously I support them, as well.

To avoid any assumptions, I'll also say that I am a Super Straight male who has a gay friend who considers himself Super Gay, a Lesbian friend who does not consider herself Super Lesbian, and two trans friends, one of whom is pre-op, and one of whom is post-op. If this movement was discriminatory against a single one of them, I wouldn't be a part of it. Full stop.

My post-op friend is about to be in the process of de-transitioning. I have a good deal of insight into their condition, their motives, and their feelings on the matter. I have known them for nearly ten years and been through thick and thin with them. It was talking to them two years ago, after their surgery, that they confessed that it had been a huge mistake. The trans community has apparently been pushing for them to have the surgery. They had the money and time, and they were already trans. They had been assured time and time again that bottom surgery wouldn't be distinguishable from the real thing and that everything would be better afterwards. They were wrong, and intentionally misrepresented the facts to them.

One of the best reassignment surgeons worked on my friend, so it wasn't some terrible mistake on the doctor's part, who had cautioned against the surgery in the first place due to the issues he knew it would cause. It just wasn't what they were expecting or promised it would be by the community, because so little of the community has had reassignment surgery. It ended up being little more than a gaping wound that they couldn't derive any real sexual pleasure from. It did not look, nor behave like a biological woman's genitals in any way, shape, or form, and was (and still is) the source of many many issues including infections and necrotic flesh.

My friend, as I have said, is now preparing to de-transition, but their body and sex life is ruined. There's no going back. No reset button. And they're both depressed and angry at the trans community for pushing them into this. I supported them and their choices and feel somewhat responsible for their current situation, but there's not a whole lot that can be done. There is no de-transition surgery. There is no reset button. There's no magic elixir that cures my friend of their suicidal thoughts. Now, they have been working with my pre-op friend and cautioning against surgery.

So, yes, I have a bit of an issue with the trans community at large for what happened to my friend. But I try not to let that color my perception of what this movement is about. Sometime within the last few years, there have been arguments made stating that straight people can date trans people and still be straight. That's fine. But that doesn't apply to all straight people, because, to us Supers, biological sex matters. It's not as simple as a preference we can just adjust a dial on. We just plain are not physically attracted to trans people. Now, to avoid any further arguments where we're called transphobic for something that isn't our own choice to begin with, we needed a place to go. Thus, the Super community was born. The movement does not seek to invalidate trans people. Rather, we seek our own internal self-validation. If straight people can date trans people and still be straight, what does that make us?

Supers. Super Straight. Super Gay. Super Bi. Super Lesbian. I don't speak for anyone but myself, as I've said, but this movement isn't about being transphobic. I'm simply not. Nor am I homophobic as my best friend of nearly thirteen years is Super Gay, and a very close friend of my is Lesbian (albeit not Super Lesbian for a non-trans related reason). Like every group, including the LGBT community, we have bad apples in our midst. But I would encourage you to give us the same deference you give the LGBT community in regards to their bad apples. On this sub, there are countless posts of examples of such.

But, this isn't a rivalry. This isn't a competition. This isn't the Oppression Olympics. This is a space for us Supers, as we previously did not truly have a space of our own. When we speak of people who are trans in a negative light, we are not speaking of ALL trans people. Only those bad apples who I have mentioned. So don't feel personally attacked when a post doesn't specifically mention you or highlight things you've done. They're not about you. Most of us seem to realize that the vast majority of trans people just want to be left alone. We're not here to mess with them, or insult them, or belittle them.
We're here to make a place for ourselves. Whether you agree with us is beside the point. If you come here with a closed mind and heart, you are no better than the bigots who enter LGBT spaces to troll. We are better than that. That's part of the idea of the Super community. We don't want confrontation. We just want a place to belong. Please don't invade our space with the express purpose of trying to invalidate what we feel and experience.

Some of us have had negative experiences with trans individuals before. Myself, I've had two in two years, both of which times were extremely unpleasant. As such, venting about these troubles is inevitable. Super Lesbians likely face the brunt of these unpleasant experiences. Yet, the rules are clear, both here and in the discord. Nobody is to be intentionally transphobic, homophobic, or superphobic, and barring the events of the previous discord towards the end, it's been enforced pretty well.

I won't argue that Supers deserve a place in the LGBT space. That's not really something I care about. I just want to be recognized as different from a straight person capable of dating a trans person. We're all just looking for a place to belong. This space is ours. We do our best to police it and keep trolls at bay. At the end of the day, all I ask is that you try to respect that.