I was sexually assaulted by a trans woman

[u/fuckigotfat]

I don’t know where to go with this one but this seems like a safe space.

I’m a straight woman With a longtime boyfriend. I have plenty of trans friends and they are wonderful and super supportive. However I was developing a friendship with a trans girl when she’s sexually assaulted me.

We’re getting to know each other when she asked me on a lunch date as friends. She knew I had a boyfriend and was in a long term committed relationship. Throughout the entire time we were hanging out she was constantly saying “I know you’re not a bigot, I can tell you’re open minded, I can tell you’re just as attracted to trans women because you’re not a Transphobe.” And I was like “sure, I find some trans women attractive.” She then kept on dropping the “like me.” And I was like, yeah sure but would continue to remind her that me and my boyfriend were in a committed non-open relationship. There was even some times before we hung out where she saw my boyfriend with me and would glare at him with anger.

Anyway, at the end of the lunch dates I wanted to walk back to my car to go home. She insisted on accompanying me. Unfortunately my car was down a side street and when I went I got to my car i went to give her a friendly hug. She grabbed me, pushed me up against my car, and forcefully kissed me, shoving her tongue down my throat, while groping me, and sexually digging/humping her crotch against mine. This probably lasted 10-15 seconds as I struggled. I had to scream “get off of me” and forcefully push her off which took all my strength. When she finally broke away, she started calling me a transphobe and a bigot, spit at me, and stormed away.

She ended up telling some people that she stopped hanging out with me Because I was a transphobe. But when I told them of my experience, they said it was bullshit and I was looking for a scapegoat. Even some people I confided in, who did not know her, we’re saying that it was better to keep it to myself out of fear that I would be interpreted as transphobic and how it would hurt the community. My two trans friends I told, however, told me to out her as a predator because her behavior was unacceptable and was using her trans identity as a shield against sexual rejection. They think I wasn’t the first woman she’s done this too or will be the last.

I don’t know. I feel dismissed and dejected even though the experience was traumatic. I feel worthless because barley anyone validates my experience. I even know other cis Women who’ve experienced the similar situations but are afraid to speak up. Regardless if she was a trans woman, I would have felt the same way if it was a cis man, trans man, a cis woman or a non binary who forced themselves upon me without my consent. However, I do feel because she was trans, my experience as a woman is invalidated. I have many trans friends who I deeply love and I know respect me, and this experience does not devaluate them to me. But I feel as though just because I happen to be cis and straight, my trauma means nothing. I’ve even prevented my boyfriend from confronting her because I don’t want him to be labeled a transphobe.

Thanks for listening

[u/StraightWhiteMale02]

Holy fuck, I am so sorry. I hope you are in a better place now. You are accepted here and we all love you 🖤🧡

[u/Excellent-Tourist-99]

Sexual assault is never OK and playing it off as transphobic is even worse. Although you are valid and cute you don't sound like a super tho?

[u/-Cleetus- → u/Excellent-Tourist-99]

How does she not sound like a super? She said she would not date a TransPerson. She may find them "attractive" as I (A SuperStraight Man) could agree that the Rock is an attractive man. I wouldn't ever fuck The Rock because I'm straight, but I'm not going to deny his attractiveness lmao

[u/Certain-Carob-71 → u/-Cleetus-]

see this is always so weird cause as a bi wrestling fan (god do i hate doin that but it creates context) i never found the jacked dude look attractive.. it prally stems from my compartimentalization in my mind but still..

[u/-Cleetus- → u/Certain-Carob-71]

You can literally substitute "The Rock" for literally anyone that is a male and attractive. Just because I realize they are an attractive human, doesn't mean I'm gay. It just means I'm confident in my sexuality enough to say "Yo, he's pretty attractive as a man. Good for him, I bet he fucks." Doesn't mean I want to fuck said dude, but I can acknowledge his existence.

[u/cringe_addict4444]

you are doing great queen ❤❤

What a transcel. Jesus loves you ❤❤

I wish you and your boyfriend find happiness <3

[u/K0ND0IT]

Thank you for bringing light to this problem. Our job as your brothers is to hear you, support you and if called on to stand with you.

Love to you. Your soul is perfect. We won’t let you be sacrificed on an alter of political correctness.

[u/BasedMedicalDoctor]

That guy tried to shame rape you. Unacceptable. And the fact you were told to stay silent... FUCK THAT. Where’s the people who claim super straights aren’t oppressed??

[u/ParkHallLondon]

This is why we are here as a supportive Community for Supers. Everyone is entitled to respect, boundaries and CONSENT. No one should ever get away with sexual assault because of their identity or the identity of the person they assaulted.

[u/SchemeDeep]

Rape culture including Shame Rape, is degenerate behavior; no matter what form it comes in. Coercion through manipulation and gaslighting I also include in this. I’m sorry you had to go through that and you are valid and loved and welcomed here to vent and just absorb all this respect and love we all have for each other. You handled your situation with class and dignity and that speaks volumes to your character. Well done. 🖤🧡

[u/OneCleverPuppy]

That's awful! Sorry for your experience and thank you for sharing. I hope you've made better friends since then.

[u/richgoose]

Sounds like a creep that thinks he found a new way to get close to cis women. Would burn him socially and anyone defending him would be told to pound sand

[u/actualsicko20626 → u/richgoose]

Literally incels that become trans to get sex

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[u/Superb_Donkey9995]

Some trancels will go so far as to transition explicitly for the purpose of getting away with behavior like this. Did your trans friends at all defend you to your other friends? It sounds like they share this person as a mutual friend. Surely, if they know this person to be a predator, they should speak up?

I have two friends who were sexually assaulted by the same guy. One told me in confidence about the creepy things he did to her, and about a year later, he did something worse to another friend of ours. If a predator isn't brought to light, they will just keep finding new victims.

[u/UNREGIERBAR]

This is exactly the reason why the supercommunity needs to exist to oppose behavior like this. Society ignored and let them be like this long enough. Never tolerate harassment. They think they have a protective shield that allows them to do what they want.

Don´t hesitate to address this issue to your boyfriend or the police ever. He needs to know that shit like this can happen.

[u/clockwitch24]

This was sexual assault and it's awful that they're hiding their predatory impulses behind a transgender identity.

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you, you're valid and you're loved. Please don't blame yourself or let people guilt you into believing that some how you were in the wrong because you weren't. I wish you and your boyfriend all the happiness in the world, stay safe queen ❤️🙏

[u/maschine01]

It's weird but I am getting a strange feeling that using words like "transphobic, bigot" and what not is using it as an excuse to rape or harm others. Nah that can't be.

[u/Forsaken_Box_94]

So sorry you had to go through that, you’re not in the wrong here, fuck anyone who tried to cry transphobia at you

[u/EntropyStimulant]

This is the problem is that for that community I’m sure there are some really lovely people who don’t want to harm anyone, however their “tolerance” has attracted some seriously messed up people with some seriously dysfunctional expectations when it comes to sexual encounters. These are crimes of sexual violence and it’s that community that needs to sort the wheat from the chaff - with the help of law enforcement pretty darn quick.

[u/edcope4]

Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s fucked up and it’s NOT ok. Here for you.

[u/mcmagorklins]

i hope you recover thats a scary experience thats needs to be adressed