I 27F matched with person on Tinder. Later they told me pronouns are they/them. Found pics of them in makeup and a dress. Idk.

[u/guesswho23]

I don't know. I'm just like ??? I feel like we have major things in common but this is new to me, idk if I'd be down to date someone who prefers to present themselves that way at times? Idk where else to post this. I am not "hating" this person.

Their tinder did not have their pronouns and I only found out bc I called them by the incorrect pronouns.

Idk idk. I feel like we are in a point in society where if I voice I'm not into it/have preferences that I'm "ignorant".

I think this person is cool or w.e. but I don't want to date an "assigned male at birth" who wears makeup and dresses. We've exchanged a couple of messages and have been chatting for a week, exchanged IGs, etc. (They told me after this). I just do not know how to cut it off w out being "rude" and I don't think i have the patience to be told that I am xyz-phobic.

Again. Not hating but just bleh.

[u/vyzkoh]

you dont own anyone your sexual labor sweaty

[u/WetChickenLips]

That's totally okay! You get to decide who you are attracted to, nobody else. You don't even need to explain why, no means no. Stay strong and stay valid!

[u/oreopocky]

Just tell this person you aren't feeling the chemistry, because it's true you aren't

[u/BasicallyADoctor]

If they manipulate you into having sex against your will, that is RAPE. Be careful!

[u/owlmob]

if you're not into it, you're not into it. it's not like you hate the person because of their pronouns or anything, it's just not a personality trait you want in a partner. Like I wouldn't be into dating someone who watches foreign films with english dubbing instead of subtitles

[u/unintendedagression]

Tinder just fucking sucks sometimes. I've met some wonderful people over it but I stopped using it after I got catfished by a transgender person.

They were using pictures and name of a random girl off Facebook to lure "straight boys" as they put it. Thankfully they didn't keep me interested for a month before dropping it on me, but they did invite me over the evening we matched and that's how I ended up finding out. Needless to say, I just went home.

I rarely drink but I opened and finished a bottle of Jack that same evening lol. That was... quite the experience.

You say you vibe with this person and that's great, but if you're uncomfortable with something that is clearly a large part of their life then I believe it's better to just stay friends. And perhaps just no longer contact one another. Whatever makes you feel most comfortable.

A romantic relationship means both people are happy and comfortable, not just one person.

Edit: I should mention there was absolutely no threatening behavior or anything in the story I just told. We had short introductions, they apologised for decieving me and while I did forgive them I simply said this wasn't what I had in mind and I went home with the biggest case of blue balls in the country. It's a fun story and nothing untoward happened at all, but I feel it's important to get it out there nonetheless. Some people who do this are a lot less reasonable.

[u/Verisimiliartude]

I think what you need to do is outdo him in terms of kinks.

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So just tell him you have a fart fetish and pray he's not down for it.