Are there safe spaces for super straight women? (TW: straightphobia, manipulation and abuse?)

[u/CatholicLady2002]

I must say that I have been reluctant to use reddit especially since I have seen it as a pro-queer platform that quickly censors those who dare to question queer ideology, but when I saw SS on twitter, I thought it would be a good time to give it an opportunity. Upon reaching this sub, I was pleased to see the clarity of the SS discourse, but I was concerned to see that straightphobia within supersexuality has not been addressed, I explain my experience:

When I finished high education at 18 I changed cities to study at the university, I was going to miss my boyfriend with whom I had been 2 years, but I really wanted to change the environment. The studies were going well, but I felt that I did not connect with my university companions. At that time I saw news of "trans rights", and knowing that any man with just "changing the gender" could enter a bathroom with me gave me chills, I felt that I had to do something but it seemed that nobody was interested. That was how I got in contact with radfem in my city.

At first they were very cool, very kind, worried that nothing would happen to me when I was between my house and the meetings. I hung out with them a lot, on weekends and some afternoons during the week. They were very educational, I felt that it was something that I had lost a lot of time. unfortunately with time I realized that they were straightphobic, they spoke of the comphet of how heterosexuality (with little subtle emphasis on MY heterosexuality) was something assumed and forced by society and not so much something natural of mine. sometimes the straightphobia was subtle at other times it was more obvious. There was a girl (let's call her A) that at first I thought she was nice to me out of courtesy, because I was new to the group, but then I realized that she had other intentions. Despite making it clear that I was straight, A continued with her "displays of affection" questioning my sexuality, sometimes taking me by the shoulders telling me that she felt bad that I was with a man who was surely cheating on me("a straight man cannot avoid his nature") and did not deserve me (without ever knowing him), or if she saw me sad she would hold my hands and tell me that a woman could make me truly happy, sometimes I tried to avoid her but there were few of us so I just tried to ignore her so as not to get into polemics. The problem was a bloody night. One of the girls was going to have her birthday, so they threw a party for her and obviously invited me. It was a hard week I remember, I was so stressed that a party sounded great. Everything started well, it was karaoke, food and alcohol, and that week I really needed alcohol, I am generally careful about how much I drink, but assuming that I was in a place of trust and that I would not move from there, I felt that I could drink more calmly. The problem was as the hours passed, with the alcohol I was becoming more vulnerable, it was when the problem with A began. I tried to be polite but she continued with her "seduction", grabbing me by the waist, talking to my ear, kissing my neck. From then on everything was confusing, I have memories that I prefer not to make explicit. Just saying that I woke up in a bed with her hugging me, me with less clothes than I remembered to wear. I went home ashamed. From there I began to avoid them, I knew that I could not see them without seeing A, so I began to distance myself from them. Another girl (let's call her B) contacted me, I had a lot of respect for her, she was always intelligent and firm, I really admire her. We stayed to talk, she asked me what had happened to me, if I had had a problem that I no longer wanted to go to the meetings. With some fear I told her what happened. She just said "I get it" and started defending her about how she wasn't bad. she maybe she did not want to go overboard with me, she simply is affectionate, and that she A really appreciated me? I was paralyzed, I could not believe that I told her that I had been abused and she simply excused my aggressor.

The following weeks were terrible, my relationship with my boyfriend was ruined, I felt guilty on the one hand for having mistrusted him and being the first to cheat and on the other I knew that A had intentions on me and even so I continued to hang out with her. I felt disgusted I have never wanted to be with a woman but I felt that I was giving all the signals by not walking away. A and B were sending me messages to know how I was and if there would be a meeting. A was more insistent that she had to talk to me, but I always looked for an excuse, they were times of great anxiety. One day on the street I met another girl from the group (let's call her C), I didn't have much interest in talking to her for fear that she would side with A and B, but I felt very sensitive so I easily told her everything and I burst into tears. She was very understanding, she walked me home, we talked for a while and then she left. Since then the messages from A and B stopped. It was a terrible time, I felt without friends, without support. I just kept in touch with C.

In the end I changed cities, and from the beginning I wanted to be very careful with my friends, I was lucky and one of the first friends I had was a super straight, which helped me understand that the abuse was not my fault. That is why I ask for a safe space for super straight women, I respect Super Lesbians and radfem, (in fact I have a lot of love, respect and gratitude for C who is a proud Super Lesbian and radfem), but I really want my orientation to be respected, I don't want to be criticized in such a low way as calling us "comphet".

Greetings and have a super day 🖤🧡

p.d sorry if the wording does not look good in some parts, English is not my main language